Worth the Risk

by Karen Erickson

  Taking a deep breath, she tried her best. “Maybe this isn’t working out so well, Hunter. It might be better if I—” She paused and closed her eyes, desperate to calm her racing heart. “Maybe I should leave Worth.”

  The silence that stretched between them was deafening, and she cracked open her eyes. Saw Hunter standing before her, his expression incredulous, his lips parted as if he attempted to speak, but not a sound came out.

  “No,” he finally spit out.

  She frowned. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”

  “You’re not going to leave Worth because of what happened between us. No way.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to be responsible for that.”

  “It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”

  “Everyone will think I’m responsible.”

  “Who’s going to think that? No one knows what happened between us.”

  “Right. And when you leave now in the middle of a campaign, they’re all going to think I’m at fault. That I’m the asshole boss who drove his best employee away.”

  Warmth suffused her at the compliment and she tried to ignore it. “You’re just saying that.”

  “No, I’m not. Worth needs you. I need you.” He paused, eyes wide, expression one of shock. She wondered just how much he might need her. “In the marketing department, I mean.”

  “I wouldn’t leave before I completed my project,” she whispered. She was fooling herself. He didn’t need her beyond work purposes. She’d been a fling, nothing more, nothing less.

  He slipped his hands into his pockets, an air of defeat lingering around him. “You’ve already made up your mind.”

  “It’s what’s best.”

  “According to who?”

  “According to me, Hunter. I have to take care of myself. I’m all I have. You have this—this business that consumes you. It belongs to your family, it’s your heritage, your past and your future all rolled up into one, and I think that’s so wonderful. Truthfully, I’m jealous of it. Of you and what you have with your family, your brothers and Alex’s wife, your niece. Your family surrounds you and supports you. It’s important to you, and it shows.”

  A muscle in his jaw ticked, but he didn’t say a word.

  “I, on the other hand, have always been alone. Always. My parents abandoned me. No one wanted me, ever. I finally find acceptance here at Worth, and I screwed it up.”

  “By screwing me,” he murmured.

  It was true. She’d fooled around with him, and look where it got her. “I’m a big girl. I know what’s right and wrong. I made the conscious choice to have sex with you.”

  A flare of heat lit his gaze, subtle, but yes, most definitely there. And then it was gone. “At least consider staying with Worth.”

  “How?” She shook her head. “I can’t. I just—can’t.”

  “I mean maybe you could transfer. Go to another department. Talk to your friend Becky. Since she’s the human resources manager, I’m sure she could help you tremendously.”

  She'd never thought of transferring to another department. And she definitely hadn’t thought of tapping into Becky’s brain and seeing what she could come up with. “You think that would work?” she asked cautiously.

  “I know I don’t want you to leave. I’d rather give you up to another department within Worth rather than watch you go away forever.”

  “I appreciate you saying that.” She tried to smile, but it was tremulous at best.

  If she didn’t watch out, she just might break down into tears.

  Gracie left work promptly at five, unusual for her considering the last few weeks of nonstop late nights devoted to the launch project. Hunter hadn’t said a word to her when she left beyond a casual good night. It shouldn’t have bothered her, his easy dismissal.

  But it did.

  Their earlier argument/discussion still rang in her head. She knew he didn’t want to lose her. But was it more work-related than anything else? It had to be. Even if he’d felt a glimmer of something toward her, she’d demolished that with how she constantly pushed him away. No man would stand around and take that sort of treatment, especially one like Hunter. He could have anyone he wanted with a snap of his fingers. And he knew it.

  It was what she said to him about having no one that stood out more than anything. She’d always believed she had no one, but was that really true? Were there other family members out there she’d forgotten or didn’t even know existed? Everything had happened when she was so young. And it had all been so terrible she’d immediately blacked out most of it on purpose. Her memories were fuzzy.

  She’d never been curious before, too bitter to consider what relatives might be out there still. Today, though, she’d become consumed with it.

  The minute she came home, she’d gone to her laptop and opened it up. Brought up Google and typed in her mother’s name and hometown.

  Her heart racing, she hit enter and scanned the results. An old arrest mention, her high school looking for her, which was funny considering she hadn’t graduated, and the fourth listing was a link to her obituary.

  Gracie clicked on it, waited with held breath while it loaded. The write-up was depressingly meager in details.

  Angela Hayes, 24, died Sunday, January 15. She leaves behind a daughter…

  Pressing her fingers against her lips to stifle a sob, her eyes filled with tears. They’d mentioned her in her mother’s obituary. How they’d known she existed, she hadn’t a clue. She scanned the rest of the details, read the website header to see exactly what town newspaper it was.

  Her mother had died in some tiny town in upstate New York, a place Gracie had never been but her mother had somehow ended up at. Alone and with no family around her and probably no friends either.

  She’d heard whispers from past foster parents that her mother had been found in an abandoned house—a drug house. Alone, bruised and dead most likely for well over twenty-four hours, they’d discovered her in one of the bedrooms. Needle marks in her arm and dressed shabbily, her hair a knotted mess. As if she hadn’t bathed in weeks.

  A shudder moved through Gracie, and she clicked out of the newspaper site. Her memories of her mother were so vague, and she didn’t even have a photo to remember her by.

  Realization hit her, and she stilled. Could her grandma still be alive?

  She entered her grandmother’s name. It wasn’t hard to forget it.

  Grace Hayes.

  She scanned the list of results, saw there wasn’t an obituary mentioned at all. She added their hometown, and the results narrowed. A legal notice of the foreclosure sale of her house two years ago, an award she won at the local garden club for volunteering. Gracie went to a white pages website and entered her grandma’s name and town.

  Three phone numbers popped up in the results.

  Nerves ate at her, and she tapped her fingers against the edge of the laptop. Should she try and call? Were any of those listed really her grandma? And would her grandma believe it was her? Remember her?

  Gracie frowned. Of course, she would remember her. She was named after the woman. But she’d kicked her daughter out of the house when Gracie had been a toddler. And she’d never offered to take Gracie in and raise her.

  Maybe she hated her. Maybe she didn’t care.

  Deciding now or never, Gracie grabbed her cell phone and punched in the first number with a listing of G Hayes, asking for Grace Hayes when the man answered. He told her she had the wrong number and hung up.

  A little shocked at the man’s abrupt disconnect, she tried the next number and came up with no response. Tried the third number, and a woman answered.

  “Is—is Grace Hayes available?”

  “This is Grace Hayes.”

  Gracie’s heart sunk to her toes. The woman sounded older, her voice graveled, as if she’d possibly smoked her entire life. Gracie swallowed, her mouth and throat grew dry and she didn’t know what to say next.

  “Can I help you? Who is this?”

  “
It’s—it’s me. It’s Gracie.”

  Dead silence was her answer for long, painful seconds. Gracie’s stomach twisted so hard she was afraid she might throw up.

  “Gracie who?” the woman finally asked. She sounded skeptical, not that Gracie could blame her.

  “I think.” She sighed loudly. “I think I’m your granddaughter.”

  More silence greeted her, this time filled with edgy tension, and Gracie’s finger hovered. Ready to hang up if the woman said something horrendous to her.

  “Are you—are you really?”

  “Was your daughter’s name Angela Hayes?”

  “Yes.” The woman’s voice cracked. “Yes, it was. But she died a long time ago.”

  “I know.” Gracie breathed deep. “Angela Hayes was my mother.”

  “I always asked what happened to you. I didn’t know. When they found her, they never mentioned you. I looked everywhere until I finally figured you were…dead.” The woman broke down into tears, sobbing into the phone. Gracie’s eyes prickled with moisture. “She left the house so long ago, and she took you with her. I begged her to let you stay, but she refused. I knew she wouldn’t treat you right. But then she disappeared.”

  “She left me at social services when I was five. They claimed they tried to find someone to take me like a relative, but that they couldn’t get a hold of anyone.”

  “I never moved until two years ago when I lost my house after refinancing it. Now I live in a small apartment, subsidized housing.” The woman broke out into full on sobs now. “Oh, Gracie, I can’t believe you’re alive. I just can’t believe it! I’m so glad you called me. How did you find me? Why?”

  “I looked you up in the White Pages online.” Gracie paused, gathering her courage. “I—I want to come see you sometime soon, if you don’t mind. When I can get away from work, which might take a while.” She couldn’t believe how accepting her grandmother was. How good it felt to feel her emotion come over the phone lines, to know that she’d been missed and loved all these years.

  “You have a job? Oh, that’s so wonderful. Are you married? Do you have kids?”

  Gracie smiled through the tears. “No, not yet.” Not yet. Why did she say that? She’d never planned on getting married or having kids before.

  “Are you at least happy then? I’m sure…” Her grandmother seemed to choke up, her breath hitching and she sniffed loudly. “I’m sure you went through some tough times. Foster homes and the like.”

  “Yeah, it was hard,” Gracie said softly. Tears spilled freely down her cheeks, and she swiped at them with her fingers. “Really hard. But I’m okay.”

  “Are you happy, though? You never answered that. I want to believe that you’ve been happy since I lost you. That you’ve grown up well, that you’re healthy and went to college. And now you have a good career and you’re living in a nice house. Do you have a nice car? Your mama was always obsessed with cars. Cars and clothes.”

  Her grandma’s questions and comments made her both smile and worry. They were so simple, so direct and to the point yet difficult to answer. What could she say? There were so many things she wanted to tell her, but she didn’t want to bombard the poor woman after contacting her so out of the blue. “I’m…I’m happy yes. I have a good job. I live in Queens, so I don’t really need a car.”

  “Queens? Oh my word, do you work in New York City?”

  “I—I do.”

  “How fancy are you? My darling child, you must come and visit me soon. Send me pictures, something. I want to know what you look like, what you do.”

  They spoke a bit more, Gracie getting her grandma’s email address, promising to send her pictures of herself and to visit her soon. Her grandma even went as far as to tell her she loved her before hanging up.

  Gracie hadn’t the guts to do that. She hardly knew the woman, despite the fact that she was her grandma. She couldn’t throw around the love word so casually.

  She’d never told anyone she’d loved them. In her entire twenty-six years of existence, not a single soul had ever heard those words pass her lips.

  Opening up her photos folder on her laptop, she scrolled through them, looking for a few she could send to her grandma. She found one of her and a handful of her fellow employees standing in the lobby of the Worth building, including Hunter. He stood just behind her, smiling broadly, wearing one of his usual, sexy suits. Looking gorgeous and confident, the sight of him filled her with so much joy it almost hurt.

  Are you happy?

  The question her grandma kept asking rang in her head. No, not really. Yearning for something she had no right to have, someone she could never truly value and treat right. She wasn’t a whole person but a mere half. Shallow and going through the motions, unable to love, unable to exhibit any sort of real emotion. She’d been sleepwalking through life and for whatever reason, tonight, this moment, had finally woke her up.

  Reconnecting with her grandma could help her. Show her roots, where she came from, give her purpose beyond doing a good job and making enough money to live. Maybe it would make her stronger, able to face and deal with the tumultuous emotions that constantly swirled within her.

  She needed to make changes to her life. Reconnecting with the family she lost so many years ago was the first step. If she could learn how to deal, maybe, just maybe she could open up her heart to others and finally let them in.

  If she was lucky, maybe she could eventually let Hunter in…

  Chapter Ten

  Two weeks later…

  “What did you do to Gracie Hayes?”

  Hunter went still at the mention of her name. Glancing up from his computer screen, he met Alex’s scrutinizing gaze. “What are you talking about?”

  He was amazed at how calm he sounded, how in control he appeared. Deep inside his nerves rioted, his heart kicked up about a thousand notches, and he swore he was this close to breaking out into a cold sweat.

  “Becky sent me an email first thing this morning. Gracie’s asking for a leave of absence for an undisclosed amount of time.” Alex’s expression was pointed. “I figured her request had something to do with you.”

  His heart sank. Believing that everything was settled between them, he’d never mentioned her wanting to transfer from his department again. She hadn’t talked much to him at all, if he was honest. Not another mention of her wanting to back out of attending the spring launch, either.

  “I’ve been on my best behavior,” Hunter finally said. And he had been. He hadn’t done or said anything remotely inappropriate toward Gracie. As he’d sworn from the start, he’d kept his word.

  It had nearly killed him to ignore his feelings and pretend he didn’t care about her, but damn it, he never went back on his word.

  “Tell me. Is there a reason you need to be on your best behavior when it comes to Gracie?” Alex cocked a brow. “I had no idea there was anything brewing between the two of you.”

  “There’s nothing going on between me and Gracie.” At least, not anymore. She’d made that more than clear.

  “So why does she want a self-imposed sabbatical, ‘effective immediately,’ and I quote.” Alex asked.

  Disappointment simmered low in Hunter’s gut, along with a fair dose of frustration. What the hell? Did she hate him that much that she needed to get away from him as soon as possible? He believed she was over it. Over whatever had transpired between them that made her so damn jumpy when she was around him.

  Despite what had happened, she was one of the key members of his marketing team. To lose her would leave a tremendous hole—one he didn’t want to fill with someone else.

  She hadn’t looked good lately, though. Dark circles under her eyes, moving a little slow. He wondered if she felt overworked.

  “Hunter?” Alex’s voice broke through his mental fog. “Why does she want a temporary leave? Do you think she wants to leave Worth permanently?”

  “I—I don’t know.” He glowered at the screen of his laptop. “If she was having a pro
blem, she should’ve come to me first.”

  “See, that’s the funny thing.” Alex sat forward in his chair, his expression grim. “She informed Becky that she has come to you, and that you continually ignore the problem.”

  “That’s completely untrue. And what goddamn problem is she talking about?” Anger stiffened his spine. Could her earlier request to leave Worth be considered coming to him about the problem and he never taking care of it? He’d taken everything so personal. Not allowing work to play a part in it, he figured she wanted to leave because of him and not some professional issue.

  He’d gone about it all wrong, clearly. Now she treated everything between them like a work transaction and went through the proper channels in reporting him to Becky for the love of God.

  And she ended up making him look like a complete asshole.

  “She has never, not once, complained about anything to me since she’s come to work for Worth, and that was over a year ago.” It felt like a lie. And he hated that.

  Alex shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you. According to Becky, that’s what Gracie said.”

  “I should talk to her.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  Hunter stood. “I can’t afford to lose her, Alex. Not now. Not with our new marketing campaign barely out of the planning stages. Hell, the spring launch for Worthwhile is next week, and she’s overseen the entire event.” Besides the all-important launch, the overhaul of the Worth Luxury image had been in continual effect for the past two years.

  The marketing team—with Hunter at the helm—had given Worth Luxury a younger, more vibrant edge. Considering today’s competitive market and fine goods culture, it was a constant, evolving project.

  One slip, one wrong move, and the company could settle back into near obscurity, like it had been when Alex took over as CEO all those years ago. Hunter didn’t want to disappoint his brother. He didn’t want to let down the family business.

  And he needed every single member on his in-house marketing team—including Gracie. Especially Gracie. She was extremely talented and her finger was on the pulse of what was current, both now and with future trends.