Finding My Way Home

by Green, Vicki

  “Oh, my God! Baby! Baby?” He says with his hand caressing my face. My eyes finally open, the blissful dots starting to fade. “Damn, I thought I lost you. You were just gone. I couldn’t get you to respond. Are you ok? Did I hurt you?” The worried look on his face makes me so upset. I never want him to worry about me. His hand keeps stroking my face while his eyes are combing all over me, trying to figure out if I’m all right.

  I’m stuck with my damn arm in the sling, so I can only smile and look into his worried eyes and wink. “Babe. I’m more than ok. That was the best orgasm in my entire life! You only lost me for a minute, but I was in a place that I can’t describe. It was heaven.” He sighs in relief and kisses my face all over.

  “Damn, girl. You scared the shit outta me.” He flicks my nose. “But I’m glad I could help get you there. You. Were. Amazing! I think I went there too, seriously. We went there together. We always will.” I lean up, press my mouth against his and show him how much I love him in that one kiss.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Two weeks later, we are sitting in the lawyer’s office awaiting the reading of Bailey’s will. The only people in the room besides the lawyer, Tom Mahaffie, is Betty, Hutch and myself. We all turn when in walks a man, late fifties, with a deep, deep frown on his face. I turn to Hutch, cock my head, and he shrugs his shoulders. So I turn to Betty. She has a look on her face that tells me this man is not wanted here. She mouths ‘brother’ to me. I had no idea Bailey had a son. Odd.

  He walks over to the only empty chair, grumbling all the way. The lawyer stacks some papers on his desk and looks over at us. “Thank you all for coming today. I’m sorry for the delay but we had some injured folks that needed some time to heal first.”

  “What the fuck ever, we shouldn’t have had to wait. Get on with it!” Yells out the unwelcomed man.

  Tom looks at him and sighs. “Calm down, Matt. All in good time.” He looks at me and smiles. “Now then, as you all know Bailey loved each and every one of you.” He looks at Matt. “Well, um, very much.” He looks down at a paper in his hands and back up to Betty. “Betty, I’m going to read something first then tell you what you are receiving.” She nods and gets out a few Kleenex.

  Betty, my darling, dearest daughter. You know when you were born the heavens sang and so did my heart. You have been my shining light all your life. I hope nothing but the best for you and Chuck. May your lives be blessed. I’ll be watching from where I am perched, and I hope you have the happiest life full of love. I’ve always been so proud of you. I love you my darling daughter.

  Betty is crying, so I take her free hand and squeeze. “Betty, your mother has left you all the money she has been saving her entire life. The total is.” He looks at his paper, then back at Betty. “The total is one million dollars.” Betty gasps and Hutch and I look at her in shock.

  “I… I don’t know what to say. I had no idea.” Betty looks at Matt, who has a major scowl on his face, and then back at Tom. “Thank you, Tom.”

  Tom hands the written note to her. She kisses it, folds it up neatly and places it in her purse. Tom looks over at Matt and sighs. He clears his throat. “Well, now. Matt. I will read your note from your mother and then what you have received.

  Matt. To my son. I am ashamed to call you my son. You have done nothing to help anyone your entire life. You’ve drank yourself in and out of jail more times than I can count. You’ve ridiculed Betty, myself and anyone else that has tried to love you, tried to be kind to you. What happened to you? What changed you from the sweet boy you were to what you have become? I don’t know you anymore. I guess I haven’t for years. I am saddened. When you were born and until you grew into a man, you were the sweetest, most lovable boy. There is no place in my heart for you. That left a long time ago. What I’d like for you? Get your damn act together and be a respectable man, someone people would love to be around, love to know and call their friend. You will die a very lonely man. I once loved you, I guess I still do. You are my son, but I don’t own you anymore. Go, be a man!

  We all turn and watch Matt as Tom reads. His face turns red and it looks like he’s having a heart attack. Tom’s throat clears again. “Matt, your mother left you the written note and that is all. I’m sorry.”

  “What the fuck ever. She’s no mother to me. Serious piece of shit,” Matt grumbles. “I don’t want the fucking note. Burn it.”

  Hutch grabs Betty’s arm when she tries to rise from her chair. “Now, Matt. There’s no need to be vile towards the deceased. Calm the fuck down,” Tom yells. Matt sits still, shock on his face and clasps his hands together in his lap. Tom looks back at us and stacks his papers again. “Ok, now. Hutch, here is your written note and what you are receiving from our loving Bailey.” He smiles at Hutch. I grab Hutch’s hand and he looks at me, such love gleaming in his eyes.

  Hutchinson. You’ve been more of a son to be in the short time I’ve known you than my own. You have a huge heart, and I’m proud to call you my son. You and Zoey’s time on this earth will be filled with love and happiness, of this I am sure. Hutch, I leave you my boarding house. You’ve loved it since the day you entered the front door. I know in my heart that you will care for it as well as all those who come seeking refuge in it. Take care of yourself, son, and take care of my Zoey and your son and daughter.

  We both look at each other the same time. Our eyebrow’s raised in wonder. A son and daughter. Bailey. He squeezes my hand and leans over and kisses me. My hand goes into his hair, and I mouth ‘I love you’ and receive an ‘I love you more’ back from him. Betty reaches over and pats Hutch’s shoulder and smiles, tears in her eyes. “It’s what she wanted, so it shall be. I know you’ll take care of it with the same love mother gave it. I’m so happy for you.” Hutch leans over and kisses her on her cheek. Tom hands Hutch his written note. He takes it, reads through it and folds it neatly, placing it in his pocket, smiling the entire time.

  “Now then, Zoey. She asked me to save yours for last. Your written note first.” Tom looks at me, smiles and winks.

  My Zoey. You’ve been another love in my life that I am blessed to have had. I wish we could have had longer, my granddaughter. I thanked God every day after you entered my life. You have the truest of hearts, so much love to share. You’ve been through so much in your short life, but don’t fear, be strong and live your life to the fullest. You have so much to give, don’t let your past rule your future. I’m sure you won’t, you’re so smart. Hutch is your first true love, cherish him, love him and take care of him. Your son? Well, he will be your 2nd love and will be so much like Hutch, with your heart. Your daughter. Yes, I forgot to mention her in our talks. Your daughter will be your 3rd love and so much like her mother and great grandmother. Zoey, like my daughter, you’ve been my shining light. One last thing, my dear, do NOT, do not blame yourself for what happened. I would do anything for those I love and was happy to help you so you could live, for I would not have lived much longer as it was. Live. Live for me, carry on for me. Know that I will always love you. Bailey.

  There’s not a dry eye in the room, well except for Matt. We all turn to him as he stands up, knocking his chair over, and heads for the door. Reaching for the knob, he turns and laughs. “Fuck you all! She was no mother to me. She just blows smoke up everyone’s ass. Ungrateful. I’ll never return here, as it holds nothing but bad memories and turmoil. Good riddance!” He opens the door and slams it on his way out.

  We turn back around to face Tom, who is laughing to himself. He clears his throat again and hands me my note from Bailey. I look at it but can’t really read it with my eyes all blurry from the tears. I fold it and place it in my purse.

  “Well, good riddance to him too, I say. Good thing he didn’t stay for the last part, it would have really sent him over the edge,” Tom says laughing. He looks at me and winks. “Zoey, Bailey had a special place for you in her heart. She has left you something that she wrote in her will. She had kept it a secret for years. She had a private account over
seas and wants you to have it. She left me instructions for you in order to retrieve it. Zoey, she has left you one million dollars to be used for your wedding, your new family and whatever else you see fit to use it for.”

  My hand flies over my mouth. My breathing becomes erratic. I bend down put my head between my legs and gasp for air. Hutch is squatted down in front of me in an instant. “Zoey, baby, take deep breaths.” I look up gasping and shake my head. I watch him turn to Tom and take something from him. “Here, blow really slowly into this bag.” He holds the bag, and I try to breathe slowly. My hand grasps his hand around the bag. I can feel Betty rubbing my back and as my breathing starts to slow I look into my love’s eyes, filled with tears. I nod at him and take even deep breaths, which are becoming easier. Finally, I sit up, take a couple more deep breaths and then let go of his hand.

  “I’m… I’m ok, now. Thanks, babe.” I lean forward and kiss his full lips. He returns to his chair, handing the bag back to Tom and takes my hand in his, placing it on his lap.

  “Wow, I’ve read plenty of Will’s but I think this is the first time someone hyperventilated during a reading. Glad you’re ok.” Tom’s look of concern fades, and he stands. “This concludes the reading of Bailey’s will. Thank you all for coming. My deepest sympathy for your loss. Bailey will be missed by many.” As we stand, he walks around his desk, shakes Hutch’s hand and kisses Betty and myself on the cheek. He walks to the door and opens it for us, and we head home.

  We are standing by the Jeep, Hutch holds the door open for me, when Betty runs over and gives me a big hug. “I’m so happy for you and Hutch. Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you. Ok, honey?” Betty says while clutching me in her arms.

  “Betty, you’re so sweet. I would love to keep working clear up until the baby is born, is that ok?”

  “Oh, honey. That’s wonderful. I’m supposing that you won’t want to work after.” I nod, sadly. “That’s just fine. Chuck and I just hired the Bishop boy to help out at the Café. My real love is the coffee shop so I’ll only have to work there, after you’ve gone. Works out perfect!”

  I look at Hutch who is giving me his big dimpled smile and back at Betty. “Betty, did you know about the secret account your mother had? I mean, I know it was secret, but did you know?” I whisper into her ear.

  She laughs. “Oh, Lordy. Yes, I knew about that. In her spare time she loved to play the market. Wise woman she was. Had a real knack for it. Well, you know, she could feel things, knew things ahead of time, most of the time. That was my mother.”

  Hutch’s head spins around and he leans close to us. “Betty, was she ever wrong?” He asks quietly.

  Betty leans closer and whispers, “No. Never that I’ve ever known.”

  We all laugh, hug each other again, and she leaves. Hutch helps me into his Jeep, buckles me in and kisses me. “Son. Just sayin’.” I laugh, smack him on his chest and watch him run around the Jeep to get in.

  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  What a day, so much happened in a matter of an hour. I have the love of my life, a son on the way, became the owner of two houses and am now a millionaire. Life just couldn’t get any better. I take my girl home and tuck her into bed. She’s exhausted. I kiss her luscious lips and then head downstairs to watch a game on TV. It’s about halftime when my eyes start to droop, so I laid down on the couch and let them close.

  Smoke! Who’s smoking in the house? No one I know smokes. Sitting up abruptly my eyes blink rapidly, the smoke thick in the room. I grab a bunch of Kleenex, cover my mouth and run upstairs. The smoke is thick, making it hard to see and breathe. I reach our room, feel the door, and try to open it. Locked. What the fuck? It wasn’t locked before, we never lock our inside doors. Sirens are blaring from outside and getting louder. I start heaving on the door, but it’s not budging.

  “ZOEY!” I scream as I keep slamming myself at the door. “ZOEY, BABY! UNLOCK THE DOOR!”

  Downstairs the front door opens with a slam. “Anyone in here?” A man yells.

  “UP HERE! HURRY, MY… MY WIFE IS INSIDE AND THE DOOR IS LOCKED! HELP!” I scream over my shoulder. A fireman races upstairs and pushes me out of the way. He takes a crowbar and jams it against the door frame and pushes hard until the door moves, but it doesn’t open all the way. We both use our hands flat on the door and push and push until we move it open. Something is up against the door.

  Once in the room, I run over to the bed and pick up my girl and when I turn around I see the dresser had been pushed against the door. “Hurry, get her out of here, take her outside,” yells the fireman. I struggle to carry my girl down the stairs as I’m coughing so badly now that I can hardly move. The smoke is getting thicker as I walk, but I finally reach the front door and get Zoey out to the front walk. I sit down on the sidewalk, holding my girl partially in my lap, and watch our house being destroyed.

  I can hear more sirens getting nearer. I continue to cough and gag as I look down at Zoey. “Baby,” I choke while lightly smacking her face. “Baby, wake up. Please, wake up.” I get no response and start to panic. Turning my head around towards the street, I see a paramedic is running our way. “She… she won’t wake up. Help her!”

  As a second paramedic arrives, they take my girl from me and work on her. An oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose, an IV stuck in her hand. I turn in time to see yet another paramedic rolling a gurney down the walk. “Hutch. Hutch.” I look at the man next to me and squint. “Hey, man. Let me put this over your mouth so you can get some clean air into your lungs.” I nod, coughing severely as he places an oxygen mask on me. “Try to take deep breaths, man. That’s it. Good. You hurt anywhere?” I shake my head and tilt it towards my girl. “Yes, we got her. Everything’s going to be just fine. Hang in there for me.” I nod again and look back at the men working on Zoey.

  People seem to be running around everywhere now. Simon and Chris ran over and are standing beside me, patting me on my shoulder with worried looks on their faces. We stand there watching the fire truck’s hose put out the fire and our house turning a charred gray.

  “Stop it! I had every right! That should have been mine! I grew up there, it was mine!” I hear a familiar voice yelling. Oh my God, it’s Matt. He’s yelling as police officer’s bring him from around the back of the house in handcuffs.

  As they get nearer, I throw off the oxygen mask and lunge at him. I knock him down to the ground and sit on top of him, my fists hitting his face over and over. “You almost killed us you motherfucker! You almost killed Zoey!” I keep slamming my fists into him until I am pulled off, my arms behind me by a police officer. I struggle to get free, breathing heavy and coughing, until Simon puts his hand on my chest.

  “Hutch! Hutch! Calm down, man! That piece of shit isn’t going anywhere. Calm, down!” Simon yells at me. I look at him and stop struggling. As the officer releases his grip on me, I bend over in a major coughing fit. The paramedic that tended to me earlier runs over with the oxygen mask and presses it against my mouth. I watch the officers pick up the unconscious Matt as I place my hand on the mask. I look up from there to the paramedic’s concerned face. “Zoey?” My question muffled by the mask.

  “She’s doing ok, man. She’s awake and asking for you. You keep that mask on now. Ya hear?” Nodding I stand and take one last look at Matt as they walk by, I turn around and head to my girl.

  They let me sit next to Zoey’s gurney in the ambulance. I held her hand and smiled through my mask when she would look over at me. Squeezing her hand periodically to reassure her, we get to the hospital in record time. Doc Marrow wasn’t there this time but another equally kind doctor took care of Zoey, and he even let me stay in her room. I had to sit there for over an hour as they filled my lungs with fresh oxygen and wrap up my hands since they were bleeding and swollen from pummeling Matt. The doctor told us they wanted to keep Zoey overnight, just as a precaution. They said I could go home and pick her up in the morning. I was like ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ They
sure as shit don’t know me very well.

  Once they got her to her room and set up everything to make sure she was comfortable, they left. I immediately crawled into the bed, and she snuggled close. “Why?” Zoey asks while sniffling. “Why would he do that? I don’t understand.” She buries her face into my chest and sobs.

  Stroking her hair and tightening my hold on her, I lay my head against hers. “He’s a sick and evil man, baby. Who knows why anyone does what they do? He’s just very sick.” She turns her head, keeping it on my chest and sighs. I look down at her sweet face. “Hey, at least we are all alive and ok. Our son is a strong fighter.”

  Smiling and still sniffling, her eyes move up to mine. “Just like his dad.” She laughs, which makes her cough. Once she gets under control she sighs. “I just want things to get back to normal. The baby’s things are coming tomorrow and I have a lot to do. Plus, I go back to work in a couple of days.” She looks up at me. “I miss it. I miss the people and I’m getting tired of laying around.” Leaning up she kisses my chin and snuggles into my chest again. “Our house. It’s ruined. Bailey’s house.” She sounds so sad.

  I lift her chin up to look at me. “Hey! It will be better than new. I’ll make sure of it.” She smiles sadly and nods.

  “I just hope everything can be salvaged. Bailey’s things. I just want everything back in its place and to be able to live our lives. I’m so happy that Chris and Simon will be running the boarding house. That was such a great idea. So glad they are here to stay and will help others find a place to go.”

  I lean down and kiss her, smiling against her lips. “That’s my girl. Always thinking of others. So kind. So sweet.” She snuggles into me and quickly falls asleep. I lay there awake for hours thinking about all the events that have happened in our lives. I take my phone from the nightstand and send a text. A reply comes fast and after reading it, I smile as I close my phone and place it back on the nightstand. Great! My plan is in motion.