The Laughing Corpse abvh-2

by Laurell Kaye Hamilton

  “I did not bring you down here to hunt,” I said. My voice sounded firm, a tad loud. My heart was loud inside my head.

  “Would you forbid me to hunt tonight?” he asked.

  I thought about that one for a minute or two. We were going to have to turn around and make another pass to find a parking space. Would I forbid him to hunt tonight? Yes. He knew the answer. This was a trick question. Trouble was I couldn’t see the trick.

  “I would ask that you not hunt here tonight,” I said.

  “Give me a reason, Anita.”

  He had called me Anita without me prompting him. He was definitely after something. “Because I brought you down here. You wouldn’t have hunted here, if it hadn’t been for me.”

  “You feel guilt for whomever I might feed on tonight?”

  “It is illegal to take unwilling human victims,” I said.

  “So it is.”

  “The penalty for doing so is death,” I said.

  “By your hand.”

  “If you do it in this state, yes.”

  “They are just whores, pimps, cheating men. What do they matter to you, Anita?”

  I don’t think he had ever called me Anita twice in a row. It was a bad sign. A car pulled away not a block from The Grey Cat Club. What luck. I slid my Nova into the slot. Parallel parking is not my best thing, but luckily the car that pulled away was twice the size of my car. There was plenty of room to maneuver, back and forth from the curb.

  When the car was lurched nearly onto the curb but safely out of traffic, I cut the engine. Jean-Claude lay back in his seat, staring at me. “I asked you a question, ma petite, what do these people mean to you?”

  I undid my seat belt and turned to look at him. Some trick of light and shadow had put most of his body in darkness. A band of nearly gold light lay across his face. His high cheekbones were very prominent against his pale skin. The tips of his fangs showed between his lips. His eyes gleamed like blue neon. I looked away and stared at the steering wheel while I talked.

  “I have no personal stake in these people, Jean-Claude, but they are people. Good, bad, or indifferent, they are alive, and no one has the right to just arbitrarily snuff them out.”

  “So it is the sanctity of life you cling to?”

  I nodded. “That and the fact that every human being is special. Every death is a loss of something precious and irreplaceable.” I looked at him as I finished the last.

  “You have killed before, Anita. You have destroyed that which is irreplaceable.”

  “I’m irreplaceable, too,” I said. “No one has the right to kill me, either.”

  He sat up in one liquid motion, and reality seemed to collect around him. I could almost feel the movement of time in the car, like a sonic boom for the inside of my head, instead of my ear.

  Jean-Claude sat there looking entirely human. His pale skin had a certain flush to it. His curling black hair, carefully combed and styled, was rich and touchable. His eyes were just midnight-blue, nothing exceptional but the color. He was human again, in the blink of an eye.

  “Jesus,” I whispered.

  “What is wrong, ma petite?”

  I shook my head. If I asked how he did it, he’d just smile.

  “Why all the questions, Jean-Claude? Why the worry about my view of life?”

  “You are my human servant.” He raised a hand to stop the automatic objection. “I have begun the process of making you my human servant, and I would like to understand you better.”

  “Can’t you just...scent my emotions like you can the people on the street?”

  “No, ma petite. I can feel your desire but little else. I gave that up when I made you my marked servant.”

  “You can’t read me?”

  “No.”

  That was really nice to know. Jean-Claude didn’t have to tell me. So why did he? He never gave anything away for free. There were strings attached that I couldn’t even see. I shook my head. “You are just to back me up tonight. Don’t do anything to anybody unless I say so, okay?”

  “Do anything?”

  “Don’t hurt anyone unless they try to hurt us.”

  He nodded, face very solemn. Why did I suspect that he was laughing at me in some dark corner of his mind? Giving orders to the Master of the City. I guess it was funny.

  The noise level on the sidewalk was intense. Music blared out of every other building. Never the same song, but always loud. The flashing signs proclaimed, “Girls, Girls, Girls. Topless.” A pink-edged sign read, “Talk to the Naked Woman of Your Dreams.” Eeek.

  A tall, thin black woman came up to us. She was wearing purple shorts so short that they looked like a thong bikini. Black fishnet panty hose covered her legs and buttocks. Provocative.

  She stopped somewhere between the two of us. Her eyes flicked from one to the other. “Which one of ya does it, and which one of ya watches?”

  Jean-Claude and I exchanged glances. He was smiling ever so slightly. “Sorry, we were looking for Wanda,” I said.

  “A lot of names down here,” she said. “I can do anything this Wanda can do, and do it better.” She stepped very close to Jean-Claude, almost touching. He took her hand in his and lifted it gently to his lips. His eyes watched me as he did it.

  “You’re the doer,” she said. Her voice had gone throaty, sexy. Or maybe that was just the effect Jean-Claude had on women. Maybe.

  The woman cuddled in, against him. Her skin looked very dark against the white lace of his shirt. Her fingernails were painted a bright pink, like Easter basket grass.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” I said, “but we don’t have all night.”

  “This is not the one you seek then,” he said.

  “No,” I said.

  He gripped her arms just above the elbows and pushed her away. She struggled just a bit to reach him again. Her hands grabbed at his arms, trying to pull herself closer to him. He held her straight-armed, effortlessly. He could have held a semitruck effortlessly.

  “I’ll do you for free,” she said.

  “What did you do to her?” I asked.

  “Nothing.”

  I didn’t believe him. “Nothing, and she offers to do you for free?” Sarcasm is one of my natural talents. I made sure that Jean-Claude heard it.

  “Be still,” he said.

  “Don’t tell me to shut up.”

  The woman was standing perfectly still. Her hands dropped to her sides, limp. He hadn’t been talking to me at all.

  Jean-Claude took his hands away from her. She never moved. He stepped around her like she was a crack in the pavement. He took my arm, and I let him. I watched the prostitute, waiting for her to move.

  Her straight, nearly naked back shuddered. Her shoulders slumped. She threw back her head and drew a deep trembling breath.

  Jean-Claude pulled me gently down the street, his hand on my elbow. The prostitute turned around, saw us. Her eyes never even hesitated. She didn’t know us.

  I swallowed hard enough for it to hurt. I pulled free of Jean-Claude’s hand. He didn’t fight me. Good for him.

  I backed up against a storefront window. Jean-Claude stood in front of me, looking down. “What did you do to her?”

  “I told you, ma petite, nothing.”

  “Don’t call me that. I saw her, Jean-Claude. Don’t lie to me.”

  A pair of men stopped beside us to look in the window. They were holding hands. I glanced in the window and felt color creep up my cheeks. There were whips, leather masks, padded handcuffs, and things I didn’t even have a name for. One of the men leaned into the other and whispered. The other man laughed. One of them caught me looking. Our eyes met, and I looked away, fast. Eye contact down here was a dangerous thing.

  I was blushing and hating it. The two men walked away, hand in hand.

  Jean-Claude was staring in the window like he was out for a Saturday afternoon of window-shopping. Casual.

  “What did you do to that woman?”

  He stared in the s
torefront. I couldn’t tell exactly what had caught his attention. “It was careless of me, ma...Anita. My fault entirely.”

  “What was your fault?”

  “My...powers are greater when my human servant is with me.” He stared at me then. His gaze solid on my face. “With you beside me, my powers are enhanced.”

  “Wait, you mean like a witch’s familiar?”

  He cocked his head to one side, a slight smile on his face. “Yes, very close to that. I did not know you knew anything about witchcraft.”

  “A deprived childhood,” I said. I was not going to be diverted from the important topic. “So your ability to bespell people with your eyes is stronger when I’m with you. Strong enough that without trying, you bespelled that prostitute.”

  He nodded.

  I shook my head. “No, I don’t believe you.”

  He shrugged, a graceful gesture on him. “Believe what you like, ma petite. It is the truth.”

  I didn’t want to believe it. Because if it were true, then I was in fact his human servant. Not in my actions but by my very presence. With sweat trickling down my spine from the heat, I was cold. “Shit,” I said.

  “You could say that,” he said.

  “No, I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t.” I stared up at him. “You keep whatever powers we have between us in check, okay?”

  “I will try,” he said.

  “Don’t try, dammit, do it.”

  He smiled wide enough to flash the tips of his fangs. “Of course, ma petite.”

  Panic was starting in the pit of my stomach. I gripped my hands into fists at my sides. “If you call me that one more time, I’m going to hit you.”

  His eyes widened just a bit, his lips flexed. I realized he was trying not to laugh. I hate it when people find my threats amusing.

  He was an invasive son of a bitch; and I wanted to hurt him. To hurt him because he scared me. I understand the urge, I’ve had it before with other people. It’s an urge that can lead to violence. I stared up at his softly amused face. He was a condescending bastard, but if it ever came to real violence between us, one of us would die. Chances were good it would be me.

  The humor leaked out of his face, leaving it smooth and lovely, and arrogant. “What is it, Anita?” His voice was soft and intimate. Even in the heat and movement of this place, his voice could roll me up and under. It was a gift.

  “Don’t push me into a corner, Jean-Claude. You don’t want to take away all my options.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” he said.

  “If it comes down to you or me, I’m going to pick me. You remember that.”

  He looked at me for a space of heartbeats. Then he blinked and nodded. “I believe you would. But remember, ma...Anita, if you hurt me, it hurts you. I could survive the strain of your death. The question, amante de moi, is could you survive mine?”

  Amante de moi? What the hell did that mean? I decided not to ask. “Damn you, Jean-Claude, damn you.”

  “That, dear Anita, was done long before you met me.”

  “What does that mean?”

  His eyes were as innocent as they ever were. “Why, Anita, your own Catholic Church has declared all vampires as suicides. We are automatically damned.”

  I shook my head. “I’m Episcopalian, now, but that isn’t what you meant.”

  He laughed then. The sound was like silk brushed across the nape of the neck. It felt smooth and good, but it made you shudder.

  I walked away from him. I just left him there in front of the obscene window display. I walked into the crowd of whores, hustlers, customers. There was nobody on this street as dangerous as Jean-Claude. I had brought him down here to protect me. That was laughable. Ridiculous. Obscene.

  A young man who couldn’t have been more than fifteen stopped me. He was wearing a vest with no shirt and a pair of torn jeans. “You interested?”

  He was taller than me by a little. His eyes were blue. Two other boys just behind him were staring at us.

  “We don’t get many women down here,” he said.

  “I believe you.” He looked incredibly young. “Where can I find Wheelchair Wanda?”

  One of the boys behind him said, “A crip lover, Jesus.”

  I agreed with him. “Where?” I held up a twenty. It was too much to pay for the information, but maybe if I gave it to him, he could go home sooner. Maybe if he had twenty dollars, he could turn down one of the cars cruising the street. Twenty dollars, it would change his life. Like sticking your finger in a nuclear meltdown.

  “She’s just outside of The Grey Cat. At the end of the block.”

  “Thanks.” I gave him the twenty. His fingernails had grime embedded in them.

  “You sure you don’t want some action?” His voice was small and uncertain, like his eyes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jean-Claude moving through the crowd. He was coming for me. To protect me. I turned back to the boy. “I’ve got more action than I know what to do with,” I said.

  He frowned, looking puzzled. That was all right. I was puzzled, too. What do you do with a master vampire that won’t leave you alone? Good question. Unfortunately, what I needed was a good answer.

  Chapter 24

  Wheelchair Wanda was a small woman sitting in one of those sport wheelchairs that are used for racing. She wore workout gloves, and the muscles in her arms moved under her tanned skin as she pushed herself along. Long brown hair fell in gentle waves around a very pretty face. The makeup was tasteful. She wore a shiny metallic blue shirt and no bra. An ankle-length skirt with at least two layers of multicolored crinoline and a pair of stylish black boots hid her legs.

  She was moving towards us at a goodly pace. Most of the prostitutes, male and female, looked ordinary. They weren’t dressed outrageously, shorts, midriffs. In this heat who could blame them? I guess if you wear fishnet jumpsuits, the police just naturally get suspicious.

  Jean-Claude stood beside me. He glanced up at the sign that proclaimed “The Grey Cat” in a near blinding shade of fuchsia neon. Tasteful.

  How does one approach a prostitute, even just to talk? I didn’t know. Learn something new every day. I stood in her path and waited for her to come to me. She glanced up and caught me watching her. When I didn’t look away, she got eye contact and smiled.

  Jean-Claude moved up beside me. Wanda’s smile broadened or deepened. It was a definite “come along smile” as my Grandmother Blake used to say.

  Jean-Claude whispered, “Is that a prostitute?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “In a wheelchair?” he asked.

  “Yep.”

  “My,” was all he said. I think Jean-Claude was shocked. Nice to know he could be.

  She stopped her chair with an expert movement of hands.

  She smiled, craning to look up at us. The angle looked painful.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi,” I said.

  She continued to smile. I continued to stare. Why did I suddenly feel awkward? “A friend told me about you,” I said.

  Wanda nodded.

  “You are the one they refer to as Wheelchair Wanda?”

  She grinned suddenly, and her face looked real. Behind all those lovely but fake smiles was a real person. “Yeah, that’s me.”

  “Could we talk?”

  “Sure,” she said. “You got a room?”

  Did I have a room? Wasn’t she supposed to do that? “No.”

  She waited.

  Oh, hell. “We just want to talk to you for an hour, or two. We’ll pay whatever the going rate is.”

  She told me the going rate.

  “Jesus, that’s a little steep,” I said.

  She smiled beatifically at me. “Supply and demand,” she said. “You can’t get a taste of what I have anywhere else.” She smoothed her hands down her legs as she said it. My eyes followed her hands like they were supposed to. This was too weird.

  I nodded. “Okay, you got a deal.” It was a business expense. Comp
uter paper, ink pens medium point, one prostitute, manila file folders. See, it fit right in.

  Bert was going to love this one.

  Chapter 25

  We took Wanda back to my apartment. There are no elevators in my building. Two flights of stairs are not exactly wheelchair accessible. Jean-Claude carried her. His stride was even and fluid as he walked ahead of me. Wanda didn’t even slow him down. I followed with the wheelchair. It did slow me down.

  The only consolation I had was I got to watch Jean-Claude climb the stairs. So sue me. He had a very nice backside for a vampire.

  He was waiting for me in the upper hallway, standing with Wanda cuddled in his arms. They both looked at me with a pleasant sort of blankness.

  I wheeled the collapsed wheelchair over the carpeting. Jean-Claude followed me. The crinoline in Wanda’s skirts crinkled and whispered as he moved.

  I leaned the wheelchair against my leg and unlocked the door. I pushed the door all the way back to the wall to give Jean-Claude room. The wheelchair folded inwards like a cloth baby stroller. I struggled to make the metal bars catch, so the chair would be solid again. As I suspected, it was easier to break it than to fix it.

  I glanced up from my struggles and found Jean-Claude still standing outside my door. Wanda was staring at him, frowning.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I have never been to your apartment.”

  “So?”

  “The great vampire expert...come, Anita.”

  Oh. “You have my permission to enter my home.”

  He gave a sort of bow from the neck. “I am honored,” he said.

  The wheelchair snapped into shape again. Jean-Claude set Wanda in her chair. I closed the door. Wanda smoothed her long skirts over her legs.

  Jean-Claude stood in the middle of my living room and gazed about. He gazed at the penguin calendar on the wall by the kitchenette. He rifled the pages to see future months, gazing at pictures of chunky flightless birds until he’d seen every picture.

  I wanted to tell him to stop, but it was harmless. I didn’t write appointments on the calendar. Why did it bother me that he was so damned interested in it?

  I turned back to the prostitute in my living room. The night was entirely too weird. “Would you like something to drink?” I asked. When in doubt, be polite.