“Daddy, Daddy,” I hear William shout as I approach the table. I feel awkward that he is calling me daddy and I shoot Zara a darting look as I know that she has put William up to this inappropriate behaviour.
“Yes mate?” I say as I take the seat next to him.
“Can we go and see the fishes?” I laugh at his little, cute voice and then I agree with what he is saying.
“Of course, let’s go.” I spend the rest of the day getting know William better. We have talked and played for hours and I can honestly say that I have become attached to him. I am glad that I have met and spent the day with himand now I am even more detriment to find out if William is my son. Zara has agreed to drop me off at my house and she has even remembered that I like todrive so she has let me drive her car home. The car comes to a stop at thetraffic lights and I can’t resist the urge to look in the rear view mirror at William. I smile as I see him, sleeping in his car seat. His chubby cheeks are rosy and his eyes are flickering as he dreams. I stare at him until the light turns green and then I focus my eyes back onto the London traffic. The car comes to a stop again, but this time it’s a long traffic jam that has us held up. I sigh and gently hit the steering wheel in frustration. Zara notices my actions and she is quick to mock me.
“I see that the rush hour traffic still gets you wound up?” I snarl at her as I hit my foot down onto the accelerator of the car. The traffic has started to move, but it stops dead – again. Zara begins to say something, but she stops herself as I turn on the radio. Zara quickly turns down the volume and I shoot her an apologising look as I forgot that William is sleeping. Zara deeply exhales and I know that she has something that she would like to say. Therefore I alert her into telling me what’s wrong.
“If you want to say something then I suggested that you say it, now.” The traffic moves again and this time I gently push my foot down as I await Zara’s response.
“I have arranged the DNA test for tomorrow.” I shake my head at her as I feel that she is trying to play me – again.
“No I will arrange it.”
“What? Don’t you trust me?” I laugh at her comments.
“Of course I don’t trust you.” Zara looks furious with me, but she knows that I won’t back down from this therefore she agrees to my change of plans.
“Fine, but it needs to be tomorrow, okay?” I scowl at her.
“What’s so special about tomorrow?” I quiz her. “It has to be tomorrow because Chad returns home on Monday. If I sneak off when he is home then he will suspect something’s wrong. I need to keep him in the dark for as long as possible.” I nod in agreement and then I begin to ask her about her relationship with him.
“I will call my doctor and have it arranged for tomorrow morning. Zara, you told me that you were planning to leave him is thattrue?” Zara sighs again. “Yes, I am leaving him, but he is a lot more powerful than me. He has money to burn and I have nothing. If he tries to take William away from me then I can’t do anything to stop him. That’s why I need you to be his father. You need to care for him because when I leave Chad I won’t be able to take him with me.” I pull the car into a bus stop and I switch of the engine. I turn to face Zara and I can see that she is crying. I slowly place my hand on her knee as I try to make sense of what she is saying.
“What exactly are you saying?” Zara is sobbing and I am forced to take her in my arms. I scrunch my face at her touch and then I push her back from me as I need to understand exactly what she expects me to do.
“You need to explain,” I say firmly.
“I have to give William up and you have to look after him for me.” I shake her. “No, you aren’t going to abandon that child. I won’t allow it, I can’t.” “I am not good at being his mother you have seen the way I am with him. He is better off without me in his life and when I leave Chad, William is going to come and live with you. I need a fresh start away from here and away from him, I can’t be his mother.” I can’t absorb what she is saying and my heart is now racing. I feel sick and my head is spinning, I can’t let her do this William.
“Zara, listen to me. You are not going to abandon William. How can you even think such a thing? Is there something wrong with your head? He is your little boy and after five years you are just going to leave him.”
“He needs a proper family and you can give him that. I don’t have the time or the money to look after him, but you and your new little wife have everything that he desires. When I leave Chad and that will be sooner than you think I will leave William and never think of him again and there is nothing that you can do to stop me.” I punch the steering wheel in frustration and Zara jumps in her seat from my outburst. I feel my anger slipping away and I try to regain control by taking several large breaths of air – a trick that I learned in therapy. I wipe away the sweat from my forehead as I start the engine of the car. I pull out from the bus stop and I continue to drive home.
The traffic is busier than ever and my head is busting. I glance at William in the mirror - again and I see that he is still fast asleep. The traffic slowly begins to move and I push my foot down until the car speeds off. We sit in silence for the rest of the journey and when we finally reach the front door of my house I am relieved that I no longer have to look at Zara’s sour–face. I open the door of the car as Zara does same. I quickly glance into the back window of the car as I take one final look at William. I sigh as I know that tomorrow I will find out if he is my child. Zara jumps into the driver’s seat and she clears her throat as she says goodbye.
“Adrian, thanks for today and think about what I said. If you do then you will realise that it is for the best.” I roll my eyes at her and then I make my way up the front steps of the house. Zara briefly looks at me and then he slams her foot down and the car jerks forward. My blood is boiling as I watch her leave and I could kill her for being so reckless – especially since she has my possible child in the back seat. I unlock the front door and I rush into the cold house. Alanna isn’t home yet and I make my way into the lounge as I anxiously wait for her to come home.
Eleven
Dam it’s freezing, I think as I rush back into Michaels house. The warmth hits me when I enter the kitchen of Michael’s apartmentand I immediately rush over and take a seat next to him at his dining table. I throw myself into the soft leather chair and I turn to face him. I smile and he questions me on who I was taking to.
“Was that Adrian on the phone?” My heart races and I quickly respond trying not show on my face that I am hiding something from him.
“Yes, he will be home earlier than he expected so Ihave to make a move soon.” Michael scowls at me as he reaches for my hand. “Please don’t leave just yet,” Michael gently squeezes my hand as he stares at me. His icy blue eyes are heavy and they look sad. I feel that he is upset about something, but I can’t get him to open up to me. I really hope that Chad hasn’t upset him. I quickly remember that Adrian doesn’t want me quiz Michael about Chad so I hold my tongue as I agree to stay with him longer.
“Okay, I will stay a bit longer. Michael is everything alright with you?” I ask sensitively. Michael exhales and I feel that he wants to share his feelings with me, but I can see that he is putting on a mask so that I won’t worry. I move closer to him as I hold his hand tighter. His eyes begin to dart and he loosens his hand away from mine. I am a little stunned, have I done something to upset him?
“Don’t do that, Alanna.” He urges as he folds his arms intensely.
“I am confused, what have I done?” Michael scowls at me and now I am really confused.
“You can’t hold me like that; you are a married woman now. Don’t you remember?” “I was only trying to comfort you because I am sensing that you have a lot on your mind. You asked me to meet you here, but you haven’t explained why? I am worried about you; please tell me what’s wrong?” Michael gently laughs at my words and I can feel my temper rising.
“Why do you care about me so much?” I blush at his words. What has g
otten into him and why is he acting like this? “You know why I care about you. You are my friend, please talk to me.” Michael snarls and I can tell that he isn’t going to fill me in on what’s up with him. So I begin to ask him the questions. “Is it Emma, have you two fallen out?” Michael bites his lip as he responds.
“I care about Emma, but I can’t stop myself from thinking about… someone else.” I blush – I hope that I’m not the one that Michael is thinking about. I clear my throat as I try to ask him who he is referring to.
“Have you met another girl?” Michael shakes his head at my question. “No, this girl is from my past and she is out of reach.” My heart races as I think that Michael is referring to me. I really thought that he had moved on from his crush on me, but obviously I was wrong. I try to shake off my feeling of guilt as I convince myself that I am over reacting and that Michael is actually thinking of another girl. I sit up in the chair and I lean my arms onto his glass dining table. Michael is staring at me and I can see that he is emotional and I have to control myself as I want to leap into his arms and give him a bear hug. Michael is my friend and although he is in contact with Chad and he was a little rude to me, I still care about him. Michael saved my life and I have a special connection with him. I just hope that things don’t become awkward between us as I really don’t want to lose him.
“I see,” I say weakly. Michael senses that I am uncomfortable and he surprises me with his next words.
“Relax Alanna, it’s not you.” I breathe a sigh of relief, but do I believe him?
“Who is she, do I know her?” Michael shakes his head again. “No you don’t know her. She was a girl who I met at Oxford and she was the most beautiful girl that has ever walked the planet. I loved her but things between us were complicated and we couldn’t be together.” I am stunned, Michael has never opened up like this before and I have to say that I like it. I want to know more about this girl who has stolen Michael’s heart.
“Tell me more,” I urge. Michael gently smiles and then he rises up from the seat. He reaches out for my hand I lunge up and take it. Michael leads me into the lounge and he sits me down onto his black leather sofa. I melt into the comfort of its cushions and then I turn to Michael – eager to know more about this girl.
“Her name was Becky and I was smitten by her. We dated for a few months and then she broke my heart. Becky wasn’t looking for a serious relationship and she just wanted to be friends. But I was too inlove with her and just being friends was never going to be enough for me. I tried to get over her, but I couldn’t so I fell into a deep depression which only got worse when Becky moved away to Spain. I called her, but she wouldn’t answer and then one day I found out that she had taken her own life.” I am speechless at Michael’s confession. I don’t know what to say to him and I don’t know how to comfort him. This must have been terrible for him and I can’t imagine what he has gone through. I push my loose hair away from my face as I try to respond. “I am sorry; I don’t know what to say.”
“There is nothing that you can say. It was a long time ago and I have had to come to terms with it. But every now and again I can’t stop myself from thinking about her.” I reach over and try to grab Michael’s hand but he pulls it away.
“Alanna you need to know something.”
“I am listening.” “You remind me of her in so many ways and when I saw you that night at the event, I was drawn to you because when I looked at you I saw Becky. You have the same long, blonde flowing hair and you have the same kind heart as she did. When I saw you I was deep in depression and I didn’t know how to survive it, until you came along and saved me.” My heart is pounding and I don’t know how to respond. I quickly try to clear my mind as I try to give him an answer.
“Michael, I’m flattered that you think that I saved you but I didn’t. You brought yourself out of that depression and you survived because you made it happen. All I did was … be your friend.” Michael leans closer towards me and he gently rests his hand onto my knee. I flinch a little from his touch, but I control my anxiety as I don’t want to hurt his feelings by pushing him away. It must be hard for Michael to open up about Becky as it’s clear to see that Becky’s death still causes him pain. I look into his ice blue eyes and I wonder if he is trying to mask that pain by rekindling his relationship with Chad.
“Alanna, I loved you because you filled the void in my heart that ached for Becky and I want to say thank you for letting me be in your life.” I gasp as Michael’s words buzz in my mind. I leap forward and I give him that bear hug that I have been dying to shower him with. Michael grips tightly onto me as he gently strokes my hair. I hold back my tears as I squeeze him tighter, Michael has flattered, humbled and made me happy by openingup and I am so glad that I agreed to meet with him today. I inhale his scent as I think that I have gotten my friend back.
The journey home was quiet, long and exhausting. I glide Adrian’s car into the parking space in front of our house and I smile asI notice that there is a light on inside – Adrian must be home. I quickly grab my handbag from the passenger seat and I jump out of the car. I make my way up the steps of the house and as I open the front door, I see that there is a little white envelope sitting on the windowsill. With my heart pounding, I grab the envelope and I see that it is addressed to me. I clutch the message as I push my way through the front door of the house and into the large hallway. I throw my bag down onto the side table and then I start for the lounge. I walk into the living area to see that Adrian is sitting on the sofa, talking on his phone. As I take a seat next to him I slowly begin to open the envelope – whilst my heart pounds. I pull the paper apart and inside I find a small piece of pink paper. I unfold the paper and I begin to read the message which is printed in bold letters.
Dear Alanna, I am writing to you because I feel that you are ignoring my pleas. I keep telling you over and over that Adrian Black is no good for you and that if you want to live a long, happy life then you must do it away from him. He will poison your soul and destroy your happiness, please Alanna hear my warnings and leave Adrian Black before its too late.
I read the words again and again until Adrian senses the tension in my eyes and hangs up his phone call. He quickly places his strong hand onto my back as he talks in his smooth British accent.
“Baby what’s wrong?” I turn to look at him -with tears in my eyes. Adrian scrunches his face at the sight of me. “Alanna,” he urges. I unclench my hand from around the paper and I thrust it into Adrian’s lap. He scopes it into his palm with one swift movement and then as he reads the words, I watch his face drain white.
“Alanna, where did you get this?” “It was on the front porch on the windowsill, Adrian, why is this happening again?” Adrian’s eyes begin dart and his lips begin to twitch. I can tell that he is angry by this new threat so I move closer to him as I huddle into his chest. He holds me tight as he kisses the top of my head.
“I don’t know baby, but I will get to the bottom of this, I promise you.” I lie in Adrian’s arms until I have no choice but to break free as I am starving. I march into the kitchen and I begin to rummage through the fridge. I scowl as I see that we have no food in the house. I walk back into the living area and I alert Adrian that we need to go and get food.
Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) Page 16