“We have no food and I am starving!” Adrian runs his fingers through his hair as he glides over to me. He wraps his arms around my waist as he pulls me closer. He leans down to my level and he kisses mesoftly as whispers.
“Let me take you out to dinner.” We arrive at the restaurant and Adrian quickly escorts me inside. As we enter I scan the room and I smile as I take in my surroundings. The restaurant is modern and has large glass windows that look out over Thames. The waiter, a tall dark haired gentleman whisks us over to our table. Adrian pulls out my chair and I take a seat at the white table clothed table. Adrian sits opposite me and he orders us some drinks as I gaze out at the river. The skyline is gorgeous and the river is peacefully flowing. Glowing lights from the city are flashing and gentle noises of the busy crowd wizzes by. I am smiling – unconditionally as I glare at Adrian in the candle light. His eyes are breathtakingly beautiful, but I can sense worry in their deepness. I begin to reach out my hand to him, but the waiter returns with our drinks. He places my water down in front of me and then he hands me a menu. I politely begin to scan the appetizers when I notice that Adrian has handed his menu back to the waiter. I immediately sense that something is wrong and I begin to question my husband on his actions.
“Adrian what’s wrong?” He takes a sip of his water and I notice that his hands are gently beginning to shake. I drop my menu onto the table and I reach out to him. “Sweetie what’s wrong?” Adrian slightly pinches the bridge of his nose as he replies.
“I have a banging headache.” I frown as I let go of his hand. I reach down to the floor and I grab my handbag. I begin to rummage through the contents of my bag until I mind some headache pills. I take two from the bottle and I hand them to Adrian. He smiles at me as he swallows thepills.
“Thanks baby,” he says as he lifts my menu from the table. I wait until Adrian has ordered his food and then I scan the menu againto choose what I want. Everything looks amazing on the menu and I don’t know how I am going to make a selection. I read over the pastas and main courses several times and I can tell that waiter is becoming impatient with me so I randomly select the pork chop with apple sauce and I kindly hand my menu back to the waiter.
Adrian begins to gently rub his temples as we wait for our food. His eyes are heavy and his hair has flopped onto his forehead. I stare at him as I have never seen him like this before. He seems anxious and fragile and I can’t help but wonder what is causing him to have a headache. I sip my water and I nibble on the breadsticks and dips which Adrian ordered as a side dish. Our silence is deafening and I need to find out what’s bugging him.
“Okay what’s up with you,” I say desperately as I ram another piece of breadstick into my mouth.
“I told you I have a headache.” Adrian tries to play it cool, but I know that something is wrong. I scowl at him as I begin to question him more. “I am not buying it, you are too anxious. Please tell me what’s wrong?” Adrian briefly glances out over the river and then he turns back face to me. “Today was… hard.” I nod in agreement – now I realise that his day out at the zoo with Zara and William is what’s bugging him. I lean forward in my chair as I reach out for his hand. Adrian intertwines his fingers in mine and he smiles at me. His full lips are curved and his eyes are deeply looking into my soul. I smile back at him as I want to know everything that has happened today.
“How did get on with William?” Adrian laughs.
“Good, he is a wonderful little boy.”
“If you got on with him then why was your day hard?” Adrian narrows his eyes at me.
“Are you questioning me?” He jokes. I laugh and then I turn the focus back onto the subject matter.
“Tell me about today.” “Today was strange. I met this amazing child and when I look at him I see myself. His eyes glow and his smile draws me in andI cave at the very sight of him. Alanna, I don’t know if I can deny it any longer – I think that William is my child.” I nervously laugh at his words and I can tell that my actions have surprised him. Therefore I try to explain my behaviour.
“I am sorry, it’s just it’s so obvious that he is your son and I wish that you had the paternity test to prove it.” Adrian’s eyes begin to dart and that alerts me that he is anxious – again.
“I have arranged for the DNA test to be taken tomorrow.” My heart races at his confession, but at the same time I am glad. Tomorrow all of Adrian’s pain and worry will be gone. He will finally know the truth and he can be free to live his life without all this uncertainty. I lunge forward and I lean across the table so that I can hug him. Adrian lets out a husky laugh as he gently kisses me on my neck. I rudely pulled away from him when the sound of the snobby waiter clearing his throat interrupts us. I shyly flash the waiter a smile, but he doesn’t return the gesture. He simply places our food down onto the table and then he tells us to enjoy our food whilst he walks away. Adrian shakes his head at waiter’s rudeness and then he begins to cut away at his steak.
“So how was your day?” Adrian asks once we have eaten most of our food. I continue to eat as I respond.
“It was weird actually.” Adrian places his fork down onto his plate and then he quizzes me more on my day. “Weird how? What happened?” I take another bite of my pork chop and then I reluctantly place my fork down so that I can talk to Adrian without my fork distracting me.
“Michael was a little weird today. I don’t know what has come over him but he seems different.” Adrian’s face drains white – again and I am sensing that this news isn’t exactly the type of news that he wants to hear. I don’t know what’s wrong with two of them lately, but they seem as ifthey have drifted apart. I frown as I remember that all of this is Chad’s fault. He has taken Michael away from Adrian and Michael has been stupid enough to fall for his tricks.
“You need to tell me exactly what happened.” Adrian urges. “Michael seemed depressed and lonely. He kept rambling on about some girl that he used to love and about how he hasn’t gotten over her. He seemed lost and to be honest I don’t think that Emma is with him anymore. She wasn’t there and I felt as if the house was empty. He clutched to me and he told me that I reminded him of her. I felt sorry for him, maybe you should go and see him?” Adrian deeply exhales as he nervously runs his long fingers through his hair. His knees are beginning to twitch under the table and I am staring to worry. Why is Adrian acting so nervous? Does he know something that I don’t? Is he keeping something back from me? I stare at him as I await his reply, but he seems to be taking forever and I am still starving. So I begin to chow down on another piece of pork and apple as I continue to wait for Adrian to speak.
“Did he mention the name of this girl?” Adrian says after a few moments of silence. I rack my brain and her name pops into mythoughts. “Becky, ” Adrian’s eyes sink back into his head at the sound of her name and I now I am positive that he is keeping something back from me. I thrust my fork down onto the plate and it makes a loud bang. Adrian jumps and then he stares at me as he reaches out for my hands. He looks more serious than I have ever seen him before and his odd behaviour is starting to worry me.
“Alanna you have to listen to me and you have to do as I say, okay?” I frown at him.
“What? I am confused what’s wrong?”
“Michael is what’s wrong and you have to stay away from him.” I am startled at Adrian’s request.
“Why?” I demand. “Because I said so,” Adrian snaps. I pull my handsaway from him in anger and I scowl at him as I thought that we have moved on from his neurotic, controlling behaviour. Since Adrian and I have gotten married things have been different and a lot smoother. Adrian has tamed his anger andhe has learned how to let me have some of the control. But seeing his intense green eyes whilst he tells me what do, is so belittling and he makes me feel as if I am a naughty child who he has to control – all of the time. I look at him and I feel as if he has let me down by returning to his previous ways. I want shout at him and tell him how stupid he is making me feel. However,
this is anice restaurant and snobby waiter, douche, wouldn’t be happy if I did. So I simply look at him as I give him a chance to explain.
“Alanna I am sorry, but baby you know that I have never lied to you and I would never ask you stay away from Michael if I didn’t believe that it was for the best. Please my lovely listen to my words.”
“How can I listen to your words and how can I trust you when you treat me like a child.” Adrian’s eyes intensify and his lips begin to tremble. I watch as his nostrils flare and his knees shake and I am beginning to realise that he is in a foul mood. With his anger building and my nausea returning I leap up from the seat and I march away from the table. I roll my eyes at the arrogant waiter as I push my way through the door of the restaurant. The cool air hits me as soon as I step out and my throat is dry as I try to holdback my tears. Adrian will be so mad at me for storming out of dinner and I can honestly say that my reaction has stunned me. I don’t why I am so emotional and I can’t understand why Adrian wants me stay away from Michael. I thought that we had moved past the love triangle stage and we were now onto our next chapter, but our life feels as if it’s on repeat and I am struggling to change our future.
I gasp in the cold air as I make my way through the gardens of the restaurant and across to the railings that hold in the river. I cutch onto the cool steel metal and tears begin to flow from my eyes. My heart is racing and my head is pounding, I feel so dizzy that I can hardly see straight. I close my eyes and I breathe slowly as I try to clear my head and stop my tears. My eyes jolt open at the feel of a hand on my back. I turn around and Adrian is standing in front of me – with his eyes glowering through me. I look up at him as he towers above me and I wait for his reaction to my stroppy behaviour.
“Alanna, what is going on with you?” I shake my head at him. “I don’t know, I am just so… emotional and I can’t control my anger or my hunger. Everything that you do and say gets on my nerves and I don’t know why I am feeling this way.” Adrian smiles at me as he wraps his arms around my waist. I clutch onto him and I begin to laugh –I seriously think that I am crazy.
“Baby, I am sorry that I annoy you and I am sorry that I made you feel like a child. That wasn’t my intention, but you do need to listen to me when I say that you need to stay away from Michael.” Adrian says softly as I pull back from him.
“You can’t ask me to obey your wishes when you don’t give me a reason to.” Adrian smirks at me whilst he slides his hand around my shoulder. Adrian gently laughs as he leads me back to the car. I stare up at him as we walk – not backing down until he tells me why he wants me to stay away from Michael.
“Michael has a side to him that isn’t always tangible. He can sometimes lead you to believe that he is different than he seems. He can be very complicated and he can become obsessed with people. He was with Becky and if he has told you that you remind him of her then you have to stay away from him. He will focus all of his energy into obsessing over you. I don’t want history to repeat itself so that is why I am asking you maintain your distance from him.” Adrian’s voice is firm but soothing. He is speaking to me in a concept of love and I know that his intentions are good. He is my husband now and when I look into his eyes I can tell that he isn’t asking me to stay away from Michael because he is jealous of our relationship. Instead, he is looking out for me and he is trying to spare me from witnessing Michael’s darker side. I realise now that my actions were childish and I feel awful that I stormed out of our dinner. I slide my hand onto Adrian’s back and I squeeze him gently as I apologise for my outburst.
“I am sorry for acting like a brat.”
“I am sorry for treating you like a child.”
Adrian pushes me into the car and then he jumps in as well. He starts the engine and he clutches my hand as he speeds off in the direction of our house.
Twelve
Two weeks have passed since that night Adrian and I had dinner – looking over the River Thames. Things since that night have gotten crazy. Adrian went to the hospital the next day and he found out that Williamis his son – surprise, surprise. Adrian and I were both ecstatic and a little scared by the outcome, but we have welcomed this new challenge with open arms. William has seemed to accept the fact that Adrian is his father and Adrian and I have spent the last two weeks getting to know him. Zara allows him to spend a few hours with us every night after school and how amazing those nights are. We have dinner and then Adrian, William and I sit down and watch a Disney movie. He loves cartoons and he especially adores Toy Story – buzz light-year to be exact. I can’t begin to describe how many times that we have watched that movie with him and I am sure that Adrian and I both know all of the words off by heart. He doesn’t stay overnight as Adrian feels that it’s a little too soon for that yet. However, I have insisted on decorating William a room in our house – just in case he has the urge for him to stay.
Zara has been ‘okay’ the last couple of weeks back. She hasn’t been her usual bitchy self; instead she has actually been rather nice. She doesn’t ask me to leave when she is around anymore and she doesn’t seem to mind that I am spending time with William. I feel that Zara realises that William needs his father and she has accepted that I come as part of the deal. I know that it must be difficult for her and I do admire her for being graceful regarding this situation. She has even opened up to Chad and she has told him that Adrian is the father of her son and that we have the paternity test to prove it. As expected Chad wasn’t happy at her confession so he has moved out of their house and he is now living with Michael and Emma.
Emma returned to London last week after she decided that she wanted to give things another go with Michael. I haven’t seen or spoken with Michael since that day I visited him at his house and I have to say that I am a little glad that he hasn’t contacted me. After my outburst in the restaurant Adrian explained in full detail what actually happened between Becky and Michael and when I heard what he did to that innocent girl, I felt as if I didn’t want him around me. I saw certain similarities between my friendship with Michael and that of his with Becky. I just felt that I didn’t want to encourage him to obsess over me so I have decided not to contact Michael anymore and I have to admit that thought is terrifying. Michael was my best friend and my heart breaks every day for him. I care deeply about him and some part of me loves him, but I know that for my own safety and his, I have to let him go. I need to move on with my life with Adrian and William. Although I don’t see Michael anymore Adrian and I still have regular visits from Emma. She drops by every couple of days and she is always sweet. Adrian really appreciates and cares for his sister so I do my best to get along with her. However, her visits do tend to become awkward when she brings up Michael and Chad. I try my hardest to nod and listen in on what she is saying, but sometimes shemakes it really hard for me do that. She never says that he is thinking of me or she never tries to urge me into talking with him. I feel as if she blames me for the sudden change in circumstances and she feels that I am the one who has the problem – not Michael. Although she has never said anything like this to me, I can sense in her eyes that she is thinking it every time that she looks at me.
Adrian has been busy at work and he spends most of his time at the office. My days have also been busy as I am still working at the orphanage. I wake every morning with a rush to get there. I enjoy my days with Janet and the children and I crave them when I have my days off. I have spent the last two weeks bonding and getting to know the children of the orphanage. Every one of them is unique and special in their own way and I love that I have the chance to help them. I respect them and I try my hardest to be there for them if they need any advice. Being with the younger children has really opened up my maternal side and now that I am spending more time with Adrian’s son, the more I feel like a mom. I love looking after children and now that William is in our lives, I feel that I have been given the chance to prove that I will be a good mother and I can’t deny that I haven’t been thinking about Adrian and
I possibly having a child of our own. I have watched him with William and although he has his doubts about his parenting skills, he is a wonderful dad. He is caring and loving towards him and he would do anything for his child and I desperately want to give him more children to love.
Today is Saturday and it’s my day off from work. I woke up late this morning as I didn’t sleep much last night. I tossed and turned all night and I was unbelievably uncomfortable. My body temperature was high and my lower back throbbed all night. I finally feel asleep around 5:am and I didn’t wake up until 11:am. By that time Adrian had already left for work so I just went straight into the shower and then I made myself a very late breakfast consisting of pancakes and fruit. I watched daytime TV for a while and then I did a few things around house.
Now it’s around 2:30pm and I am up the stairs putting the finishing touches to William’s room. For the last week or so I have beendecorating one of our spare bedrooms so that when William comes to visit he has his own room. Adrian ordered a red race car bed for him and I searched all over the city until I found a Toy Story duvet cover. We have painted the walls of the room a light shade of blue and I have carefully attached transfers of all his favourite characters from the movie onto the walls of the room. Adrian has bought him loads of new toys and I went shopping and bought him a whole new wardrobe of clothes. We understand that it is a big change for him and that he might not understand what has happened and why he is here, but we want to make it an easy transition for him and we want him to feel at home with us. Adrian and I have instantly fallen in love with him and I want him to spend more time with us. That’s why I have been hassling Adrian about asking Zara if William can sleep over with us for a few nights. I feel that it would really help him in getting to know us more and hopefully he will grow to love us as we love him. I ask Adrian every night when he comes home if he has thought about it, but he always gives me a vague non-answer. I feel that Adrian is perhaps afraid to let William stay because he knows that once he does then he won’t want him to leave.
Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) Page 17