Unbearable (the TORQUED trilogy Book 2)

by Shey Stahl

  Lenny clears her throat. “I never saw him that way. Didn’t really want to either.”

  Standing, I grab her arm before she can get away from me because she’s trying to leave the room now. “You know what I mean, he’s like that saying ‘Lady on the street but a freak between the sheets.’ Except he’s a gentleman on the street but a nasty hair-pulling ass-spanking handcuff-me-to-his-steering-wheel in the sheets.”

  “You know.” She faces me, laughing now. “I don’t understand why that’s not a saying cause it’s not a mouthful at all.”

  “Right? But I’ll tell you what is a mouthful—”

  “Nope!” Lenny cuts me off. “That’s enough.”

  “But I need someone to talk to,” I whine, falling back on the couch again. To add to the dramatics again, I pull my hood over my head once more.

  “Fine.” She sits down next to me, her posture stiff, as though this is painful. “I get to tell you what your brother did to me in bed first so you can see how this feels.”

  “Fine.” I wave my hand in her face. “Try me.”

  “Well.” She seems way too pleased with this and sits back in the chair, grinning. “I told him I wanted him to—”

  I stand up, my stomach turning at the idea of hearing anything sexual about my brother. “Nope. Let’s not.”

  I caught Red and Nevaeh having sex once and it was way more than I ever wanted to see of my brother naked. Way too much. The sight still burns my eyes and I’m immediately reminded of it when she begins to talk.

  Lenny looks relieved. “See? I told you it wasn’t cool.”

  “You’re right. But seriously, why is he confusing me?”

  “I think there’s something going on with him and his parents,” Lenny admits. “Red told me they called him asking if Tyler was okay, but they didn’t go into detail as to why they hadn’t heard from him. Apparently he hasn’t talked to them since March.”

  Since March? Wow. Okay…. So maybe he does have something else going on. Still doesn’t excuse the fact that he’s stringing me along, but I do have a little more sympathy for him than I did an hour ago.

  AROUND FOUR, I’M getting ready to head home when Red shows up with Nova and a tree. She’s happy, pointing to the tree with a big grin.

  “We got a tree, Auntie!” she yells as she’s running past me into the house to tell Lenny.

  I smile, happy that she’s in a better mood.

  Red sees me and gives me a nod. “Can you untie the other side for me?”

  “Sure, if you start being nice to Tyler again.”

  He groans, a slow shake to his head. “I’m already nice to him. I took the beer from him last night, didn’t I?”

  “True, but stop giving him all the shit jobs. We didn’t do this to piss you off.”

  “I know that.” His voice is off and I feel bad right then because I know he’s going through something too. Everyone is. Seems like life these days.

  “How’s Nova?”

  Red sighs, anxiety flooding his face. “She’s better. I asked her if it’d be okay if I took Lenny away for a weekend alone and she asked if you could watch her.”

  “Sure, I can. I have no life. Where are you going?”

  “Thought I could take Lenny to the beach. She’s never been, believe it or not.”

  “Why do you have to be such a good guy?”

  “I’m not, clearly by your standards.” I glare at him and he laughs, leaning into the car with his arms crossed over his chest. “Tyler’s a good guy too.”

  I almost laugh that he’s able to say something nice about him. “He is, but he doesn’t know what he wants.”

  Red nods. “He’ll come around, I’m sure.” Reaching up, he takes the string around the tree we untied and unravels it. “So you can watch her here next weekend, right? I don’t think dorm life is for a five-year-old.”

  “Yeah, here.” I turn to head to my car and then look back at him. “Does Lenny know?”

  He shakes his head quickly. “No. Don’t tell her. It’s a surprise.”

  We both look to the door where Lenny’s laughing on the porch, Nova at her feet. “I get to stay with you next weekend, Auntie!”

  “Too late,” I yell out to Red and then air-five Nova. “Can’t wait, sweet cheeks!”

  “Nova,” Red groans, smiling at her as he brings the tree down. “Darlin’, that was supposed to be a secret.”

  Nova shrugs. “Stop telling me secrets. You know I can’t keep them.”

  Once I’m in my car, I watch the three of them for a moment. Red’s proudly holding the tree and Lenny has the biggest grin on her face. This will be the first Christmas she’s actually had a real family around.

  I’m also a bit sad too, because this will be our first Christmas without my dad. Thanksgiving was hard enough, I can’t imagine how Christmas will be for us all.

  THE WEEK BACK at school seems to fly by, mostly because I have to basically study my ass off if I’m going to pass any class and get my mind off Tyler. And it doesn’t work. Why I thought it would is beyond me.

  What else doesn’t help is when I’m rushing to my marketing management class—the one I’m failing—Holden finds me. “Hey, you okay?”

  I give him a confused look. “Yeah, why?”

  “Oh, well someone said you had a rough night at the party a few weeks back.”

  I don’t know how I forgot about that. “Oh, that, right.” Adjusting my bag on my shoulder, I squint into the sun. “Yeah.”

  He stares at me. “I would have drove you back to your dorm.”

  “Tyler did.”

  Holden’s jaw tightens and I have no idea why so I start walking and he follows.

  “Tyler’s… he’s Red’s friend?”

  “Yeah, you’ve met him, haven’t you?”

  “I have.”

  I want to laugh imagining what Holden must have thought when he encountered Red and Tyler together. I can imagine. He probably pissed himself. Though Holden’s a football player, there’s no chance in hell at standing up against my brother or Tyler.

  He bites down on his lower lip and tiny frown lines appear on his forehead. “So is he like… your boyfriend?”

  In my dreams.

  “No, I just fuck him on occasion.”

  And he comes on my face every once in a while.

  I don’t think Holden’s prepared for my blunt answer because he blinks several times, and then several more. Then I think it hits him I’ve moved on and have absolutely no feelings for him.

  “Oh.”

  “I need to go.” I point over my shoulder with my thumb. “I’m late. Good luck on Friday.”

  He doesn’t move from his place in front of me. “I’m not playing this year.”

  “You’re not?”

  “No. I don’t know if you heard about that party we had at Shasta over the summer….” His voice trails off and I can hear the disappointment in it.

  “I heard. Most of Oregon did.” Holden’s fraternity trashed Lake Shasta over the summer and were currently under investigation. Every year for Memorial Day weekend, the University of Oregon’s fraternities invade Lake Shasta in northern California on party boats. Last year it apparently got out of hand.

  “That sucks. Didn’t know they’d suspend you over it.”

  “They didn’t. I lost my scholarship over it.”

  Remember when I said everyone has issues? Apparently Holden does too.

  “Sorry.” Is all I offer him. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming with Holden. The moment he left for college my senior year he changed. I didn’t know him as that sweet boy I fell in love with at sixteen any longer and I honestly should have seen it coming when he cheated on me.

  “So Tyler….” He’s been dancing around the topic the last two times we’ve had conversations so I’m not surprised when he finally asks, “You like him then?”

  Jesus. Trying to walk away is proving difficult.

  I release a pent-up breath. “You could say that and I wouldn
’t disagree.” Liking him is certainly underestimating these feelings but hey, let’s just go with that for now.

  “How long?” I know what he’s asking. He knows as long as I was with him in high school, Tyler was around. What he’s asking can potentially hurt him and after everything, I want to be a little vindictive. I’m entitled to be, right?

  “Honestly?”

  Holden raises an eyebrow, vulnerability dancing in his eyes. “Yes.”

  “Since I was sixteen.”

  It’s the roll of his throat as he swallows and his hardening that confirms this bothers him more than he’s going to lead on, more than he’ll ever say. He nods, his lips press together in a slight frown. The look in his eyes, the set anger in his jaw, naturally he’d have this reaction. For so long Holden thought he was the only one. I made him believe he was, so was I any different then him?

  “I’m not trying to get back together with you, I swear,” he mutters, hurt and anger simmering beneath the surface. “I get it, I cheated on you, but I guess I just wanted you to know I’m sorry, about everything. I shouldn’t have said those things to you that day and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

  I’m not sure how to react, mostly because he apologized and fully admitted to be a dumb dick. Something I never expected from him.

  The words get stuck in my throat, but I manage to get out, “Okay,” I say, nodding. “I really do have to go, Holden.”

  He backs up giving me space. “Okay.”

  And we part, just like that, much different from Valentine’s Day last year. I can’t help but wonder why he felt now was the time to corner me like that, but then again, maybe he needed closure?

  AFTER PACKING SOME clothes, I make the drive to Lebanon and pick up a pizza on the way over to Red and Lenny’s. I’m actually excited for a girl’s weekend with Nova when Tyler texts me.

  Tyler: Free tonight?

  I do get a little giddy that he’s texting me, despite knowing it’s just for sex.

  Me: I’m watching Nova. Red and Lenny went to the beach.

  Tyler: Want help?

  I know where this is going. He’ll come over and pretend to help only because he wants some and then when he gets it, he’ll leave. Red probably won’t appreciate that much.

  Me: I have to ACTUALLY watch her. Not just bumping uglies.

  Tyler: My dick is NOT ugly.

  Me: meh.

  Tyler: what the fuck does that mean?

  I don’t reply. Mostly because I think it’s funny and I know what he’s going to do with that. He’s gonna show up.

  Sure enough, thirty minutes into watching Nova, Tyler’s knocking at the door.

  “Uncle Ty, what are you doing here?” Nova opens the door, motioning him inside.

  He looks at me, then Nova, smiling. “I heard there’s a party here.”

  I snort from my place in the kitchen where I’m cutting another slice of pizza for Nova. I don’t say anything until he’s in the kitchen and Nova’s asking him to stay the night with us in the fort she’s planning on building in the living room.

  He glances around, wearing jeans and a T-shirt that clings to his massive biceps I want to run over and touch. “I’ve always wanted to sleep in a fort.” He waggles his eyebrows at me. “Can’t wait.”

  See, this is the problem with Tyler and me. He won’t give me what I want but I enjoy his friendship so much I constantly set myself up to be hurt by him.

  Standing next to me in the kitchen now, so close his warmth surrounds me, he whispers in my ear. “Is this okay? Or should I go?”

  “I’m not having sex with you,” I tell him, rolling the pizza cutter through the slice of cheese pizza.

  He chuckles and it’s low, the sound flowing through me because the soft chuckle gives my stomach a flip every damn time. “Who said I was asking?”

  Sure he’s not. I remember the bathroom and by the look in his eyes when our gaze meets, he remembers too. It’s why he’s here, I think.

  “I came to see about a text message,” he whispers, his voice so dangerously low goose bumps form.

  I roll my eyes. “Jesus, I was kidding.”

  “Damn right you were.” Tyler grins and it looks good on him. I miss his smiles. “How’s school, Nova?” His stare sweeps to hers. She’s in the fridge digging out the root beer I brought over for her.

  “Not awesome.” She sets the soda on the table next to our plates and then grabs another paper plate for Tyler. “I want to talk about just getting a job or maybe being a stay at home kid but Red says no.”

  Tyler chuckles, the corners of his eyes crinkling with humor. “Why don’t you like it?”

  “School just isn’t for me.” She leaves it at that and smacks the table with her hand. “Sit next to me, Ty. We can eat pizza together.”

  It’s amazing how much I miss Nova and her quirky behavior when I’m away at school and don’t see her during the week. I swear she gets bigger every time I see her and her attitude is more like Red every day. She’s got his dry sense of humor.

  We’re at the table, eating pizza and Nova’s telling us everything she doesn’t particularly like about school. Tyler’s attention is fully on her, listening to her every word.

  Lost in my head, the night flies by with the three of us playing Monopoly for what seems like hours. Naturally, I win. No one can manage money down to the very last cent like me. Hell, Nova bought everything she came across and Tyler was more into being ahead of everyone on the board than actually playing the game. His car always had to be in front of my thimble.

  Nova decides after Monopoly that she wants to have ice-cream sundaes so Tyler takes her, hand in hand, to the kitchen. She stands on a chair, watching his every move and asks, “Uncle Ty, are you afraid of anything?”

  He shrugs and takes the lid off the ice cream. “Spiders. I don’t like them.”

  “Daddy hates snakes.”

  “I know. It’s the only time I’ve seen him scream like a little girl.” Scooping a large chunk of ice cream into her bowl, he waits for her to say if she wants more. She nods so he gives her one more scoop. “Are you afraid of anything?”

  She shrugs. “Not really. My daddy is a super hero so I don’t have to be afraid of anything.”

  Tyler grins and taps her nose with his finger leaving a dot of chocolate ice cream on her nose. “I wouldn’t be afraid of anything if my dad was a super hero either.” Taking two more bowls from the cupboard, he scoops ice cream into them while Nova watches intently. “So he’s like Batman?”

  “No.” Nova grabs for the whip cream on the counter beside the ice cream I set out, considering her super heroes carefully. “He’s like Ironman because he has a hole in his chest. But Mommy healed it with her heaven powers when he was hurt and gave us Lenny.”

  “Lenny’s pretty special, isn’t she?”

  Nova’s face lights up. “She is.”

  When he’s finished with the ice cream, Nova and him pour on the toppings and bring the bowls to the table where I’m sitting watching the two of them. Tyler takes a bit of his ice cream and then looks at Nova. “So why are you giving your dad a hard time lately if he’s a super hero.”

  Nova rolls her eyes, midbite of her chocolate sundae. “Because he’s making me go to school. I don’t want to go. I want to be a stay at home kid like Uncle Rawley.”

  “You don’t want to be like him, Nova,” I add, hoping she never turns out like him. Rawley knows he’s a horrible example, but he claims if you can’t be a good one, be a horrible example of what not to do. His logic, not mine.

  GETTING NOVA IN her pajamas before we are set to watch Frozen for the second time tonight is something else. We’re in her room, digging through her dresser when she strips down to just her panties and I notice the kid has a wrench in her underwear.

  “Ollie gave me a wrench,” she says, pulling it out to set on her nightstand.

  “Why did you put it in your underwear?”

  “Does it look like I had any pockets?” S
he raises an eyebrow. “I had to put it somewhere.”

  She is Red’s kid so I’m not all that surprised by this.

  Once dressed in her jammies, her and I go back out into the living room where Tyler is in the fort waiting for us, still fully clothed. I’m glad he’s stayed because he’s made the night so much better. Not that we wouldn’t have had fun without him, but Tyler has a way about him that makes everything more fun.

  For nearly two hours, we lay in the fort watching Frozen and eating popcorn, most of which Tyler throws at me because deep down, he’s still a boy and when you want a girl’s attention, you throw things at her.

  “We gotta get her to sleep at some point,” I tell Tyler once Frozen is over and Nova restarts it again, knowing this kid is never going to go to bed if we’re playing with her. Fuck us for being the cool aunt and uncle who don’t force her to bed at nine. It’s midnight and I can’t understand why she hasn’t passed out. Could have been from all the sugar we gave her.

  “This movie’s not very good. What’s with all the singing?” Tyler’s lying against the pillows in the fort, Nova across his lap, his hands combing through her hair trying like hell to make her sleepy. “I have an idea,” he says, nodding to her room and sitting up. “Go grab her bear and blanket she always sleeps with,” he whispers.

  I forgot she had a special bear and blanket she refuses to sleep without. When I’m in her room, I hear Tyler turn on some music.

  I walk into probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Tyler slow dancing with Nova as he holds her against his chest and sways in the kitchen. They’re dancing to Chris Stapleton’s “Tennessee Whiskey” and I nearly cry.

  Her head is on his shoulder, her eyes blinking slowly like she’s close to sleep and he’s singing softly to her. They continue this for the entire song and when it’s over, Nova’s asleep, just like that.