Mermaid Fins, Winds & Rolling Pins

by Erin Johnson

  "You look beautiful!" I stroked a finger down one of the iridescent scales on the side of her thigh.

  She wriggled away, giggling.

  "Sorry!"

  She smiled. "It tickled."

  "They're so sparkly." I clapped. "This is so much fun!" Iggy's bubble floated up when I let go of him, and I kicked up and nabbed him. He frowned at me. "Sorry."

  I smiled at Hank and he stared at me, his mouth slightly agape. He blinked and shook his head, then cleared his throat. "I, uh—we should catch up with the others."

  Maple and Wiley led the way, with Hank, Iggy, and me following.

  I darted a glance at Hank and caught him staring again. He looked quickly away. "Do I look that strange?" I bit my lip as we kicked on.

  His eyes grew wide. "No, just—different."

  I chuckled. "That doesn't sound good."

  "It is." He grew serious.

  "Oh." I looked away.

  "Oh no, I meant—" He gently squeezed my upper arm and I turned to him again. I tried hard not to stare at his bare chest. "Not that you don't look beautiful normally, you do—" He shook his head and a little crease formed between his eyes.

  "Oh spit it out, Princey."

  I glared at Iggy.

  Hank palmed his face, then looked up laughing. "I'm sorry. I'm terrible. I just mean—mermaid is a good look for you."

  I pressed my lips together to contain the big grin that wanted to burst across my face. "Thanks—you too."

  I ignored Iggy's exaggerated eye rolls.

  We swam down and down and I was happy to find that being a mermaid also helped protect against the cold. The sea felt perfectly pleasant, though had I been in human form, I knew my teeth would've been chattering. I gasped when the Mermaid Kingdom came into view.

  A whole city stretched out below us on the ocean floor. Stone ruins of ancient temples with arched balconies and mermaid statues dotted the ground. Waving sea grasses grew from cracks and crevices in the stone, and schools of shimmering fish swirled by, while a few lonely jellyfish undulated past. I screamed when a snake swam straight at me, mere feet from my face.

  It stopped and blinked its milky blue eyes, and Hank lurched between me and it, his arms spread wide to shield me. I pressed a hand to my racing heart—I didn't know whether the snake or the shirtless prince with his broad, muscled back was more responsible for sending it into a tizzy.

  I peeked around Hank and spotted the snake hanging its head, its little forked tongue tasting the salt water. Something in my brain clicked. "Oh, Sam. Sorry, you startled me."

  The snake lifted its head and blinked again, then hung it.

  "Oh, Sam, really, it’s all right.” I looked up at Hank, whose face slowly relaxed. “Right, Hank?"

  He cleared his throat. "Of course, Sam." He scratched his neck. "Guess we're a little on edge."

  Sam lifted his head and the corners of his mouth lifted in a smile. Then again, snakes kind of always looked like they were smiling to me. My heart lapsed back into its normal rhythm.

  As we neared, the clear protective bubble around the city became visible. Guards holding gold tridents kicked in place on either side of a black gate. Our friends waited just on the other side.

  "Oh great."

  Hank took my hand. "Together?"

  I nodded, and Iggy grumbled something about the blind leading the blind. Maple stuck close, and Hank gave my hand a squeeze. As we passed through I experienced the same world-lurching, stomach-turning void I had the first time. I swam out, gasping, on the other side.

  Hank looked as pale and shaken as I felt. "You okay?" His chest heaved.

  I nodded, and Maple threw an arm around my shoulders. At least the gates meant I wouldn't have to worry about Horace down here. We joined the rest of our group, who all hovered together above a tall stone tower. Green strands of seaweed waved in the current.

  "Trouble with the gate?" An older merman gave me a flat look. His eyes slid to Hank. "Ah. The young prince."

  Hank swam forward. "You must be—"

  The old man folded over in a deep bow, his back emitting several loud pops.

  "My knees make the exact same noise," Annie said. She sported an off-the-shoulder ruffled top. She glanced down at her silver tail. "Guess I don't have knees anymore."

  Hank's face grew worried as he watched the stiff old man press a hand to his lower back. "No need to stand on formality."

  The old man stayed folded at the waist, his bony shoulders hunched forward. "Well, you younger generations might think that's acceptable." He straightened and his lips pinched together in a sour expression. "But I'm from a time when things like manners mattered."

  The man turned from Hank to address the rest of us, and Hank flashed his eyes at me. I stifled a giggle.

  "I am Glaucus, the queen's head advisor and apparently your tour guide today." He grumbled to himself. "As if I had nothing better to do."

  "Pleased to meet you, Glaucus. I'll be sure to thank Queen Aerwyna for lending us someone so important." Hank smiled.

  The old man's bushy white brows drew together over his narrowed eyes. "I am too old for flattery, young prince."

  Hank pressed his lips into a straight line.

  "I shall escort you to your makeshift kitchen, and then deposit you, your highness, at the palace to join the royal court."

  Hank gestured at Amelia. "Our event coordinator, Amelia, will need to meet with the queen, as well."

  "The kitchen isn't in the palace?" Wiley cocked a brow and folded his arms across his bare chest.

  Glaucus glared and mocked him in a whiny child's voice. "No, the kitchen isn't in the palace." He grunted. "Follow me."

  Amelia's gray eyes widened. "Why wasn't I notified of this?" She sped after Glaucus, kicking her pearly white tail. "Logistically, this'll be—"

  Maple and I exchanged looks, then swam after them. Despite our grumpy guide, I enjoyed the overhead view of the city. Mermaid children chased each other through holes in rocks and giggled, sending up sprays of bubbles. Groups of young mermaids lounged in stone archways, braiding each other’s long, flowing locks—hair that came in beautiful shades of green, purple, and blue. We left the city and the glowing orbs that illuminated it and found ourselves in the dark depths again.

  Maple drifted close and spoke out of the corner of her mouth. "Do you think he's lost?"

  I shrugged. "Maybe. He didn’t seem too happy about us being here. Maybe he's taking us to the shark pit."

  Her eyes grew round. "They have that?"

  I bumped my shoulder against hers and laughed. "No. Pretty sure they don't have a shark pit."

  K'ree drifted over, her golden cheeks flushed. Her filmy fuchsia scarf billowed around her in beautiful swathes. "This is awkward but… do you two know where the ladies’ room is?"

  I bit my lip. I hadn't thought of that. I looked down at my emerald-green tail. Now that she mentioned it, how did we even… do our business?

  Wiley swam closer and spread his long arms wide. "The ladies’ room is all around you." He grinned, his teeth glowing white in the murky water.

  I blinked at him. "Gross."

  "Maybe. But it's true." He grinned. "It's the ocean and we're fish now—when in Rome…."

  Maple, K'ree, and I looked at each other, lips curled in horror.

  K'ree pressed her hands to her cheeks. "This is going to be terrible."

  I threw an arm around their shoulders. "Don't worry, girls. We'll organize—designate a spot and keep lookout for each other. It'll be like camping."

  "I've never gone camping." Maple looked on the verge of tears. "How do we even…." She glanced back at her long tail.

  I shook my head. "Guess we'll find out."

  Wiley drifted to Maple's side. "Do you want an answer?"

  K'ree and I exchanged doubtful looks, and Maple shook her head slightly. "Not from you. It's—embarrassing."

  "Oh come on, boss." Wiley grinned. "It's just nature. The call of nature."

 
"Fine." I crossed my arms and glanced ahead to make sure Hank was well out of hearing range. He swam alongside Amelia and Glaucus. "Let's hear it."

  We kicked along in a row, letting the others outdistance us. Wiley lowered his voice. "For you ladies, everything's on the backside."

  I held up a hand. "Okay, forget what I said. Maple was right, this is too embarrassing."

  "What about the guys?"

  I raised my brows at K'ree, surprised she'd ask. She grimaced. "Sorry. I'm curious now."

  "One word." We all drew closer to Wiley. "Retractable."

  "No." I shook my head.

  K'ree choked.

  Maple turned even whiter.

  Wiley grinned and waggled his brows. "Oh yeah. Apparently dolphins have the same setup."

  "Good guppy, don't call it a setup. Ew." K'ree shook her head.

  "Hurry up!" Glaucus barked from up ahead. We kicked our fins to catch up until I hovered, tail down, beside Annie and Sam. Hank caught my eye and gave me a smile, which I returned. My face flushed hot as Wiley's words popped into my head, and I willed myself not to look for Hank's "setup."

  "How kind of you to finally join us." Glaucus scowled at each of us. He waved a skinny arm toward the dark valley below us. "We've arrived."

  I squinted my eyes. At what? A dark shape materialized in the weak shafts of sunlight that filtered through to these depths. I pushed Iggy's bubble toward it. "What is it?"

  "Looks like a hunk of trash to me," Iggy grumbled.

  I made out the mast and hull of a sunken ship. Seaweed clung to ledges and waved in the current.

  "It looks… haunted." Maple gulped.

  I couldn't agree more.

  Glaucus puffed up his skinny, sunken bare chest. "It is the wreck of the Golden Buck, an infamous rum runner, and your kitchen for next few days."

  Hank cleared his throat, sending up a trail of bubbles. "They can't use the royal kitchens in the palace?"

  Glaucus glared. "Are you questioning my queen's judgment?"

  Hank held up his broad hands. "Not at all. It just— The distance to the palace might be inconvenient for transporting their bakes."

  "We'll handle the delivery." Glaucus sniffed. "Besides, our royal kitchen doesn't have ovens. We mostly dine on raw fish, and only bother to do something as inane as baking under the sea when we're entertaining human guests." He peeled back his upper lip. "I'm sure you'll find it quite comfortable."

  A deep moan emanated from the ancient wreck, and Maple clutched my arm.

  Yeah, I'm sure.

  7

  The Kitchen

  "Oh, you rotten boy." Annie planted her hands on her hips. "You're getting wet footprints all over the kitchen."

  Wiley flashed her a bright smile and ducked under one of the ship's low beams. "Really?" He gestured at the rotting hull. "You're worried about wet footprints."

  Annie rolled her eyes, but grinned. "We have to do what we can to make the space as workable as possible."

  "Agreed." Maple closed her eyes and sang. "Dry our hair, make it fair, and while we're at it, dry everywhere."

  The soaked tendrils stuck to my neck whisked themselves into a messy bun, and Wiley's footprints disappeared. "Annie and K'ree, how about you help me with checking the inventory? Sam, Wiley, and Yann—can you clean up? Let's mop, and scrub the counters and any utensils and cookware we find. Imogen and Iggy, will you warm the oven?"

  I nodded and carried Iggy to the oven. I swatted away the cobwebs that stretched across the opening.

  Iggy sighed. "If I'd known these were the working conditions, I'd have stayed above sea level."

  "After you begged me to take you, huh? You went on and on about adventure and how boring the other fires were. Part of you is in the bakery if you want to go back."

  He folded his little flame arms and looked away. "It's not so bad out of the bubble."

  "That's the spirit."

  It'd been a pleasant surprise to find that the inside of the wreck had been spelled dry. The windows, though gaping and dark, had a magical barrier that kept the water out. Well, for the most part. A leak in the deck let in a steady stream of clear seawater, which filled an empty barrel and magically drained back outside.

  "Think of it as a water feature." Amelia had winked, after spelling us all back to being human. She then joined Hank and Glaucus on the trek to the mermaid palace.

  I sighed. I missed Hank already. And he had business on land to return to, so he didn't know when he'd be back down again.

  "Stop sighing. You'll see him soon enough."

  I looked around to see if anyone had overheard. But the men were busy scrubbing the floors and counters, and the other ladies rummaged through cupboards, the clanging pots and pans too loud for eavesdropping. "How'd you know?" I hissed at Iggy.

  He rolled his eyes, burning bright on a loose plank I'd been using as a makeshift torch. "You get this piney look on your face whenever you think of prince lover boy." He mimicked me, lifting his brows and slowly blinking his eyes.

  I couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, I don't look like that."

  "Believe me, you're worse."

  I crouched down and held Iggy at the height of the oven door. "Well… what do you think?"

  "I think I'd rather be a Fire Kingdom flame and bake in a hole in the ground."

  The black iron contraption looked two hundred years old. Holes pocked the rusted sides, and I scrunched my nose at the dark interior. "Oh, it's not… that bad."

  "You can't even say it with a straight face."

  "It's pretty bad." I gingerly reached forward, listening hard for any sound of a rat or bugs inside. It seemed like the kind of place that would be infested with something creepy-crawly. I lifted a branch and pulled it out, turning it in Iggy's light. Black charcoal ate up one end, but the other appeared untouched by flame or rot. "Give it a taste?"

  Iggy puckered his mouth, but relented when I held the branch near. He licked one end, looked away, and thought it over. He took it from me and munched. "A pretty good vintage."

  "Ready to go inside?”

  He sighed. "Might as well get it over with."

  Moving slowly, I slid the torch into the oven and let Iggy slide off onto the sticks and firewood inside. He spread out and illuminated the inside. "Not too bad, all things considered."

  "Look at you, Mr. Optimistic."

  "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

  I stayed with Iggy for a few more minutes to make sure he had enough wood to burn and would stay dry and safe. Then I joined Maple. She huffed, a trickle of sweat beading on her forehead as she pushed against a heavy wooden chest bound in iron slats.

  "Want some help?"

  She straightened and wiped away the sweat with the back of her hand. She caught her breath and nodded. "Thanks."

  I planted both palms on the rough wooden planks and together we pushed, sliding the chest to the side of the room, where a pile of other trunks, crates, and battered, dusty furniture sat.

  "Is there a reason you're not using magic?"

  We both sat on the trunk we'd just shoved and surveyed the makeshift kitchen.

  She grinned. "Well… I thought I'd save my magical strength for baking."

  I shook her shoulder. "At least make the guys do the heavy lifting."

  Sam, Wiley, and Yann had the rough wooden floors, if not sparkling, at least clean. Clouds of dust didn't waft up with every footstep anymore. The space that would be our kitchen stretched out over two levels.

  We sat on the lower level. A short flight of stairs led to a higher floor, with a balustrade that looked out over the rest of the hull below. An enormous brass chandelier dangled from the ceiling over a round table that looked like it could seat at least twelve. Candles of various lengths burned on the chandelier and in sconces and holders placed around the hull, which gave us enough light to work by.

  Sam scrubbed the large round table clean with a stiff-bristled brush and a bucket of soapy water, while Yann and Wiley arranged the stu
rdiest tables in an L shape on the upper level to serve as more counter space. K’ree and Annie piled those tables with copper bowls, wooden spoons, chipped ceramic pitchers, and even a few jars of spices sealed with wax.

  Annie held one up and called down to Maple. "Think this is still good?"

  "Is that vanilla bean?" Maple squinted.

  Annie nodded.

  "Set it aside." Maple shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

  I nudged my friend with my shoulder. "We're making good progress, huh? This isn't so bad."

  Maple tilted her head side to side. "It isn't so great either. You'd think if they were going to put us in a shipwreck, they'd have at least readied it for us."

  "Yeah, you'd think. But if Glaucus was in charge of us, then that's exactly what I'd expect the crusty old urchin to do."

  She grinned.

  "See how I used 'urchin' there?" I raised my brows. "I'm using the local lingo. Becoming a true Bijou Merian."

  She patted my hand. "It’s Bijou Meritian."

  Wiley leapt up to the railing on the second level and saluted Maple. "All done with the cleaning, Captain."

  "Oh, uh." She flushed pink. "At ease, sailor."

  He grinned and she grinned, and I rolled my eyes as I looked back and forth between them. They were nearly as bad as Francis and Rhonda. Okay, not really, but they were pretty bad. A school of silvery fish darted past the open window behind Yann.

  Maple lifted herself off the trunk we sat on, then offered me a hand and helped me up. She dusted her hands off and looked around. "We're in need of supplies. I'll let Amelia know what to send up for—if there's anything you think you'll need, let me know. In the meantime, let's prepare a menu—though it'll stay provisional till we have a chance to speak with Winnie—I mean Queen Aerwyna and her fiancé."

  Wiley folded his arms and chuckled. "They sound so formal."

  I checked on Iggy, who happily ate the vintage logs and warmed the oven, then joined the others at the large round table under the massive chandelier on the lower level. I pulled up a wooden stool and sat beside them.

  "Pen and Paper,

  And candle taper,

  Come to hand,

  From dry land."