Mermaid Fins, Winds & Rolling Pins

by Erin Johnson

  I gulped. "All right… so, we're spying, huh?"

  Valonzy scoffed. "I can hardly see anything."

  Winnie nodded. "Yeah. We're going up there."

  I raised my brows and pointed. "Like—next to the ship up there?"

  Winnie rolled her eyes. "Like, up on the deck up there. Come on."

  She led the way and I followed, lagging behind. I didn't feel like being shot with a musket ball when they discovered us spying, as they certainly would. Once we resurfaced, I looked up at the ship towering above us and giggled. "There's no way we can get up there."

  Valonzy rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a wet jellyfish."

  "Well, if I was a dry jellyfish, I'd be dead," I grumbled.

  The mermaids dipped back under the water and got a swimming start. They shot out of the water like dolphins and grabbed hold of a rowboat that hung low over the side of the ship. Winnie looked over her shoulder at me. "See? Come on."

  They hauled themselves up into the boat as I marveled at their upper body strength. And with those long nails—how? But, shaking my head, I dipped back below the water, eyed the surface dubiously, and then kicked as hard as I could. I launched myself out of the water, shocked at the height I got. I opened my eyes wide and grinned—I'm flying!

  And I did—I flew right past the rowboat and belly flopped back into the water. With my stomach tingling and burning, I popped my head out. Stifled snickers came from the rowboat, and then Valonzy and Winnie peeked over the side. "Try again."

  "I really don't think—"

  Winnie narrowed her eyes in a glare. "It's an order."

  I turned and dove. "Not like she's even my queen," I grumbled as I reset to try again. I let out a big breath, then reached my arms toward the surface and kicked harder.

  This time, I managed to slam into the side of the boat. Ow. I waited awhile before surfacing again in case the pirates had come to investigate. Finally, on the third try, I managed to hurl myself against the dangling rowboat and catch hold of the side.

  I jealously pictured Sam, K'ree, Wiley, and Maple asleep on their pillows right now, while I was dangling from a pirate ship with a couple of idiots. They each grabbed one of my arms and hauled me over the side. They pulled a white canvas tarp over our heads as I lay there panting.

  "In case the sailors look over again," Winnie whispered. We waited a couple of minutes, then pulled down the tarp. I looked up. Great. So what now? We still had forty feet to climb. But luckily, Winnie and Valonzy were pros at this. They scooted to opposite ends of the rowboat, leaving me in the middle, and hauled us up by rope pulleys. I winced every time one of the pulleys squeaked, but we miraculously made it all the way up without being caught. We hung eye level with the deck and peeked from under the railing.

  I hooked my fingers over the edge, the wooden planks warm from the sun. A couple of pirates in tall leather boots moved about. One gathered armfuls of thick rope and piled it in a spool. The other stood against the far railing fiddling with knots in ropes that connected to the rigging.

  "Ooh, look at their tans—and those muscles." Winnie wiggled in place. "Me like."

  The smell of fish and alcohol wafting up from the warm deck nearly made me sick again. I turned my head to breathe in some fresh sea air. The ship rocked and our rowboat clunked against the side, but the pirates didn't notice. Ropes creaked and seagulls cawed overhead, drowning out the noise we made.

  "Warmed my belly, they did." The pirate spooling rope laughed.

  The one working the knots turned and lowered his voice. The three of us leaned closer to hear better. "I hear the captain had someone warmin' his bed last night—and ’twasn't his fiancée."

  I stilled. Oh no. I darted a glance at Winnie to my left. Her nostrils flared and her entire face clouded.

  The pirate dropped his rope and edged closer to his friend. "’Twas the one they call Bubbles. Saw her enter his cabin last night with my own two eyes, but never saw her leave, and I was on watch till two in the wee hours."

  The men laughed.

  Rope guy clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Let's check the net—I've got a hankerin' for some sea bass and I'm hopin' we've caught some for lunch."

  I glanced at Valonzy, hoping she'd be able to comfort her friend, but she too had a murderous look on her face. I shrunk down, hoping I didn't get caught in the crossfire of their rage.

  Winnie muttered through clenched teeth, "That no good, two-timing, jellyfish-brained—"

  Valonzy shook her head. "And I thought her being with Geoffrey Clarke was bad—Winnie’s fiancé? How could she, that lying—"

  I looked behind me. We'd come way too high up to jump out of the boat without breaking a few bones. And I couldn't lower us down with Winnie and Valonzy sitting beside the pulleys. I thought of suggesting we leave, but didn't want to call attention to myself in case they decided to take out their anger on me. So I sat very quietly, and very still, and watched the pirates chat and haul up the fishing net.

  "Must've gotten quite a load—this thing is heavy!" The pirate who'd been working the knots wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead.

  The other one grinned, showing off a few gold teeth. "Maybe we got a swordfish."

  Grunting, they braced their boots against the deck and leaned into it, pulling with everything they had. The rest of the net flew up on deck, and the pirates tumbled backward. My jaw dropped and I leaned forward as Winnie and Valonzy continued to grumble to themselves. That didn't look like a fish. The pirates moved to the netting and stood over it, frowns on their faces. They reached down and untangled the rope.

  Winnie growled. "That liar! I thought Bubbles was my friend, and I find out she's sleeping with my fiancé. I'm going to kill her—honestly, I'm going to murder her with my two bare hands and—"

  I put a hand on her arm.

  "What?" she snapped.

  I let out a shaky breath as the pirates stuck their fingers in their mouths and blew. Piercing whistles cut through the air. "I don't think you need to."

  "What?" Winnie snatched her arm away from my touch.

  I swallowed as more pirates came running, their footsteps thudding along the wooden planks. The other pirates helped pull back the netting and Bubbles rolled out, onto her side, facing us. Her bloated white skin and cloudy blue eyes stared, unseeing. Purple veins laced her skin, and her black hair clung to her shoulders, neck, and face. Valonzy, on my right, fainted, and Winnie gasped and covered her mouth with both hands.

  Gasping for breath, I peeled my eyes away from the mermaid's vacant stare. She was already dead.

  12

  Police

  Amelia paced with one finger pressed to the white gumball-looking device she used to communicate with her team. "Tell me the fire dancers are still in."

  Her heels clomped along the deck of the pirate ship. "Uh-huh, uh-huh—well, we don't know what this is yet, so if it gets out, let's just call it a—a boating accident." She shook her head.

  "No, we can't just say she drowned, she's a mermaid!" She paced. "I know they've been reluctant, fire and water don't mix, yeah yeah. You get them to that portal by tonight, or you'll have me to answer to." She pulled the device out of her ear. "One event. Just one event where something doesn't catch fire or wind up dead…."

  I sighed and took a sip from the tin cup of water the pirates had given me. Actually, they'd originally given me a cup of something stronger, but just the smell of whiskey sent my stomach tumbling, and I felt so dehydrated I thought my veins must've turned to sand by now.

  I sat in the shade cast by the cabin. A shout went up and a few pirates clustered around the railing of the ship, pointing. I relaxed when I saw a teal-and-gold ship sail into view, speeding toward us. The ship pulled up alongside ours and the pirates threw a rope ladder over the side.

  My heart picked up its pace when dark hair followed by a handsome face peeked over the railing. A couple of pirates grabbed Hank's arms and helped him over. Inspector Bon followed right behind him.


  Amelia sighed and stomped over to Hank. He spoke a few words to Amelia, then spotted me. He strode forward as I stood. His blue eyes stayed fixed on my face, his thick brows drawn together. My legs grew weak at his expression.

  He didn't slow as he neared me. He scooped me up in a tight hug and pressed the whole of me against him. He pulled back and cupped my face in both of his large hands. He leaned closer, and I suddenly realized he was going to kiss me in front of the pirates, mermaids, Amelia, and Bon. I wanted him to, badly, but I couldn't if it embroiled Hank in a scandal.

  I turned my head at the last moment and pressed my cheek against his chest. He froze for a moment and then wrapped his arms around me again.

  The rhythm of his breaths comforted me.

  "Are you all right?"

  I nodded against him. "Better now."

  He chuckled. "You don't have to humor me."

  "Honestly, I'm so relieved you're here."

  He squeezed me tighter. "As soon as I saw the signal, I found Bon, and we came. I knew you had to be involved somehow, and I was afraid—" He let out a heavy breath.

  I leaned back to look at him. "How'd you know I was involved? Am I that much trouble, you see a murder alert and think—I bet Imogen had something to do with that?"

  He smiled, but his sparkling blue eyes were tight. "I was afraid Horace had something to do with it. I didn't think this through enough."

  I frowned. "What do you mean?"

  He gestured around us. "The gates will keep Horace out of the city, but we're outside their protection now." He sighed and lowered his voice. "I thought Francis would be here to guard you, but Rhonda predicted an earthquake in his village. They went back to evacuate everyone."

  I lifted my brows. "Are they okay?"

  He nodded. "Yeah. They got everyone out in time—barely." Worry clouded his eyes, but he blinked it away. "But they're busy helping rebuild and won't be back anytime soon. I'm going to make sure you're protected—even if I stay down here till you come back to the surface."

  I suddenly realized how pale he looked. "Are you all right?"

  "I wasn't all right till I saw you just now." He looked like he might be sick, and the strength of the emotion on his face left me breathless. I snuggled against his chest again, unsure what to say. I didn't want to let him go, and yet, with us in the middle of a possible crime scene.... I pulled back slowly and he trailed his hands down my arms and caught my hands. He gave them a squeeze and exhaled. "All right, since you're okay, can you tell me what's going on?" He looked around.

  "Bubbles, one of Queen Winnie's friends and...." I grinned. "I sent up the signal."

  His face lit up. "You did?"

  I nodded. "I don't know what came over me. The pirates discovered her body in the fishing net and in an instant, like it was instinct, I found energy in the sea below and pulled from it like you said to do, and shot my hand up in the sky and the police signal went up."

  A huge smile lit up Hank's face. I made him smile like that. Tingles shot through my body. "I'm so impressed."

  "I know." I lifted a shoulder and grinned. "I'm shocked, too!"

  Bon appeared at our sides. "Sorry to break up this little reunion, but a woman's dead."

  We sobered up. "Right. Sorry."

  Bon peered at me, then rolled his small dark eyes. "You. I should've known."

  I pressed my lips into a tight smile and gave a little wave.

  He drew out a long sigh and conjured a notepad and hovering quill. "I need to get your statement, Miss Banks, if you please."

  "Uh, sure, but—why aren't the mer police handling this?"

  He sighed again. "Because the mer kingdom has an agreement with the Water Kingdom that since they lack a police force of their own, in case of emergency we shall stand in. Now, they usually still handle their affairs internally, but since you sent up the signal, and your dashing prince here insisted we come, we've now asserted our jurisdiction. Which I can assure you, the queen will be just thrilled about."

  From up against the railing, Winnie shrugged. "I don't care."

  Bon gritted his teeth. "Not you, Queen Aerwyna, I was referring to your grandmother, old Queen Delphine." He lowered his voice. "Quite a pill, that one. I don't relish dealing with her again. So thank you, so much, both of you, for involving me in this investigation."

  Wow, someone was even crankier than usual. I scoffed. "Geez, Bon, you got a hot date you're missing or something?" I smiled at him, trying to lighten the mood.

  He turned a deep shade of red. "I do, in fact." He tugged on the lapels of his navy blue police jacket.

  Hank and I exchanged looks.

  I cocked a brow. "Really?"

  He cleared his throat. "Not that it's any of your business, but Frennie, the necromancer, and I have been seeing each other."

  My jaw dropped. "Frennie, Frennie? Madame Zerna's old assistant?"

  Bon narrowed his eyes. "Yes, Frennie, Frennie. How many necromancers named Frennie do you know?"

  I gave a small nod. "Point taken." But mousy, grumpy Frennie and Bon? It actually did make a strange kind of sense. I frowned. Man, was everyone finding love but me?

  Bon cleared his throat. "Now, your statement if you please."

  I told him about tanning with Winnie and Valonzy, our plan to spy, and pulling ourselves up in the rowboat. I hesitated when I got to the next part, glancing toward Winnie, who'd gotten some of the pirates to fan her and pour water over her and Valonzy’s scaled tails as they lounged on deck. Good Time Chuck stood nearby, but every time he tried to talk to Winnie she scowled and ordered him away.

  I swallowed. "And then we overheard the pirates speculating that Captain Charles, the Pirate King, had—um—maybe spent the night with Bubbles and—"

  Bon's thin brows pulled together. "Spent how—out dancing at the club?"

  I licked my lips. "No. Like—spent it together. They saw them enter his cabin together and never saw her leave." I scratched my cheek. "Winnie and Valonzy got really upset when they heard that, understandably, since Winnie and Chuck are engaged." My voice raised a couple octaves. "She might have threatened to kill Bubbles." I waved it off. "But I'm sure that was just the heat of the moment talking."

  The quill scribbled away and the page flipped on the notepad. Over Bon's shoulder I saw Winnie widen her eyes and give me a murderous look. Oh great.

  "And then the pirates hauled up the fish net and found Bubbles inside, and that's when I sent up the police signal."

  Bon turned and addressed the crowd of pirates and mermaids. "Don't go anywhere. Once the rest of my officers arrive, you'll all need to give statements." He frowned at Hank. "They would've been here already, but someone insisted we leave immediately, before I had time to round up my team."

  Hank leveled him a look. "As prince, that was my prerogative. The ship's already headed back for your officers—they'll be here to assist shortly."

  Go, Hank.

  He crossed his arms across his broad chest. "Now what do you think this is?" He glanced at me. "Any evidence of the Badlands Army being involved?"

  Bon's brow furrowed. "No, I should say not. They always send up their signal before an attack."

  We followed the inspector to the prow of the ship where Bubbles's body lay under a canvas tarp. Some pirates followed, and Winnie craned her neck to see. Valonzy kept her face buried in Winnie's shoulder. She'd sobbed uncontrollably for the first half hour and now she lay there against her queen's shoulder like all the life had gone out of her. Poor girl—she and Bubbles must've been closer than she’d made it sound earlier.

  Bon frowned at the crowd. "Everyone back up! I need space to work."

  The pirates looked at their captain, who leaned against the railing. Chuck gave a nod and the pirates retreated. He then went back to staring out across the sea, looking pensive. Bon glared at me. "I said everyone."

  Hank lifted a brow. "She's with me and she stays." Hank's face softened as he looked at me. "If she wants to?"

  I smile
d at him and nodded. But as Bon peeled back the tarp and revealed Bubbles's blue skin and vacant stare, I wasn't so sure I wanted to be included in this particular adventure. Bon looked her over and I slid in closer to Hank, his warmth comforting. Bon cleared his throat and pulled his wand from his pocket. He muttered under his breath and twirled the wand above her face. Her eyes closed and her mouth popped open. I jumped, and Hank hugged me closer.

  "Are you okay with this? You don't have to be here if you don't want to."

  I nodded. "I think I'm all right for now." As long as the corpse doesn't move again. I missed Maple—I needed to talk to my friend right now.

  As Bon twirled his wand, a dark brown, cocoa-covered ball floated out of her mouth. Hank and I moved closer.

  "What is that?" Hank asked.

  I feared I knew all too well.

  Bon reached into his pocket and produced a plastic bag. The ball floated into it. He turned it this way and that. "I'm not sure."

  I cleared my throat and steeled myself. "Can I—smell it?"

  Hank and Bon turned puzzled looks my way.

  "Excuse me, young lady?" Bon's lip curled in disgust.

  I sighed. "Right, yeah, I'm a super freak who loves sniffing things that come out of dead people's mouths." I rolled my eyes. "I have a hunch, all right?" I reached my hand out.

  Keeping his narrowed eyes on me, Bon slowly passed the bag over. Lord, this was gross. I lifted the bag and sniffed. Yep. I handed it back to Bon. "That's a brandy ball."

  Hank frowned. "So… she choked?”

  Bon peered at the brandy ball. “Well, she certainly didn’t drown.” He glared at me. “Do you have any idea where she may have procured this brandy ball?”

  I gulped. "I, uh—I made them. Well, Maple and I did."

  Bon's eyes widened and his face went blank. "I see."