Lost For You

by Jayne Frost

“Fair enough,” she said.

  We sat in companionable silence until Dylan climbed into the truck.

  “Don’t go into a sugar coma, T-Rex,” he warned as he pitched a small bag at me.

  Dumping the contents on the seat, I gleefully examined the assortment of Fireballs, Laffy Taffy, Lemon Drops, and other non-chocolate items. I’d learned the chocolate lesson the hard way when I was fourteen and my Hershey bar melted in the pocket of my cutoffs. I’d walked around all day looking like I had a serious case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Rhenn was forced to defend my honor, holding some kid’s head under the murky water until he apologized for insulting me.

  My lips tugged into a smile at the memory.

  Tearing open a Butterfinger, Dylan popped a piece into his mouth and then fired up the engine. When he looked over his shoulder to maneuver the big truck from the parking space, he caught sight of the longing in my eyes.

  “Don’t get this all over.” He tossed the remainder of the candy into my waiting hands. “I’m not kicking someone’s ass if they dredge up your old pet name, Shitty Kitty.”

  Tori fused her lips around the straw of her Big Gulp, her eyes widening as she tried to choke down the mouthful of soda. Giving up, she let loose, spewing Dr. Pepper all over Dylan’s pristine dashboard.

  “Damn it!” she screeched, pulling long strands of raven hair off her chest.

  “That’s what you get.” I smirked, popping in my ear buds to block out Tori’s grumbling and Dylan’s laughter.

  We got back on the highway, and moments later, my stomach fluttered at the first sight of the Guadeloupe, peeking through the trees lining the road.

  On days like this, none of us wore the personas we donned for the outside world. We were just us. The same group of kids that had climbed these rocks and floated this river since we were old enough to convince our parents to let us navigate it alone.

  “What the hell is he doing here?” I shrieked as Dylan pulled to a stop in front of the campground.

  Chase glanced our way as he lifted an ice chest from the bed of the Dodge Ram truck.

  “Fuck, Taryn, don’t kill me,” Dylan pleaded.

  I slapped the back of his head. “Why would you invite him?” I growled.

  Dylan’s eyes darted to Tori. “It was her idea. I mentioned the float trip to Logan the night of the show, and she said to invite them.”

  He jerked when I kicked the back of his seat. “And you didn’t think to tell me? What the hell were you talking to Logan for anyway?”

  Dylan squeezed the back of his neck. “I called them,” he admitted. “I didn’t want them to think we didn’t want them.”

  “We?” I challenged. “Did you suddenly decide to leave the stage and start managing talent?”

  “You know what I mean,” Dylan said.

  Dropping my head into my hands, I sighed. “Yes, Dylan, I know what you mean. Now drive me home. This isn’t my idea of a good time.”

  A light tap pinged off the glass, and I lifted my gaze, a handful of my hair still clutched in my fists. A smiling blonde stood at the side of the truck.

  “Who’s that?” Tori asked, teeth clenched into a smile.

  “How the hell would I know?” I replied as I hit the button to lower the window.

  “Hey y’all. I’m Lily. Cameron’s girlfriend,” she said. “Which of you is Taryn?”

  Lifting a hand as if she’d just called roll, I mumbled, “Here.”

  Her smile grew, if that were possible. The girl was downright perky. “Chase sent me over to ask if you have a mallet.”

  “Why?” My stone-cold gaze shifted to Chase, leaning against his truck and sipping a beer. “Does he want me to bury it in his head? That could be arranged.”

  Lily frowned.

  “That was a joke.” I showed some teeth to prove the point.

  “No,” Tori deadpanned. “It really wasn’t. But I know we’ve got a mallet in the back somewhere.”

  Lily gathered her long, blond hair in a pile at the top of her head. “Glad to hear it. We need to set up the tent so I can change. It’s hot as balls out here.”

  Hot as balls? I snorted a laugh despite myself.

  Dylan jumped out of the truck. “Nice to meet you, Lily. I’m Dylan, and that’s Tori.” He stuck a thumb over his shoulder. “And you’ve already met Taryn. She’s our own little ray of sunshine.” He cocked a brow at me as he turned Lily toward the back of the Hummer. “Let me get you that mallet before Taryn finds it and gives it to Chase herself.”

  As soon as the liftgate closed, I crawled over the seat. “Get your shit out of the back, I’m going home,” I declared. “You guys can catch a ride with one of the other guys.”

  Tori shook her head vehemently. “No way. I’m not getting stuck out here with these idiots. Do you know what can happen in three days on the river?”

  Nothing was going to happen, and Tori knew it. It was one of the few places the boys could go without being accosted. Everyone was too interested in making sure their inner tubes didn’t spring a leak to worry about our group of rock stars.

  “Look at Chase!” Tori exclaimed. “He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He keeps looking over here like you’re going to climb out of the window any second.”

  She craned her neck to get a better view, so I slapped her arm.

  “Quit looking over there.” I dropped my forehead to the steering wheel. “This isn’t high school, Belle. And Chase isn’t Beckett. I don’t have to have him in my life.”

  When I turned to peer at Tori, she looked very much her age. “You’re right. Chase isn’t Beckett. So maybe you shouldn’t treat him like he is.” When I blinked first, she swung the door open. “Come on. You know you’re staying.”

  “Debatable.”

  “Suit yourself.” She hopped to her feet. “But if you take the truck I’ll have Dylan report it stolen.”

  As soon as Tori joined the group, Chase broke away and walked right over. Reluctantly, I hit the button, and the glass slid down.

  Lifting the bottle of beer to his upturned lips, he said, “Why are you hiding over here?”

  “I’m not hiding. I’m probably not going to stay.”

  His tongue swept his bottom lip. “Don’t let me run you off.”

  Glaring, I pushed open the door, knocking him backward. “You couldn’t run me anywhere,” I called over my shoulder as I headed down the path.

  He fell into step beside me, suddenly serious. “Why won’t you talk to me. I’ve called and—”

  “There’s nothing to say. You lied to me and I—”

  “I didn’t fucking lie.” Gathering his composure, Chase blew out a breath. “I just didn’t tell you everything. There’s a difference.”

  Tori was right. Chase wasn’t Beckett. But the excuses were the same. “No, there isn’t,” I said, unshed tears burning my throat. “And if you were me, you’d know that.”

  Rather than embarrass myself, I turned away and trotted down the path. And when Chase called my name, I broke into a run and didn’t stop until my side ached and I couldn’t breathe.

  Chapter 27

  Chase

  The morning sun crept through the mesh window in my tent, and I threw my arm over my eyes to block the blinding dawn.

  Sweat trickled down my skin, sour from the beer and whiskey I drank last night.

  Last night …

  After Taryn arrived and we had our little falling out, I took solace in Shiner Bock. And now my head felt like someone had buried a hatchet in my skull while I was sleeping.

  Feeling around for the bottle of aspirin, I found a handful of stray tablets on top of the sleeping bag.

  I popped a few into my mouth, blanching at the taste as I chewed. When the pain was tolerable, I hauled myself up and ventured to the row of faucets on the edge of the campsite to brush my teeth. Skipping the shave, I stashed my supplies in a plastic bag, securing the gear in the pocket of my loose-fitting board shorts.

  Alcohol wafted from my po
res, so I headed to the river to hose off. When I cleared the tree line, I spotted Taryn waist deep in the still water, chestnut hair glistening in the early morning sun. And her skin … fuck …

  She jerked when I snuck up behind her. “What the hell, Chase?” she screeched, loud enough to shake the birds from the trees. “You scared me.”

  I dropped my hands on her hips. “That’s one way to get us some privacy.”

  “Not private enough,” she muttered as she wiggled out of my arms. “Just leave me alone.”

  “I would if I could,” I said truthfully.

  Since I had no power over my body when Taryn was around, I sank to my knees and let the murky water hide the evidence of her effect on me.

  She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. “So you’re just going to sit here.”

  I squinted up at her. “Yep.”

  When she made no attempt to leave, I took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Afraid you can’t control yourself?”

  “I can control myself just fine,” she said softly, without a hint of conviction.

  “So, this doesn’t do anything for you?” I kissed her knuckles, then the back of her hand. A gentle tug, and she fell forward, her knees digging into my thighs. “What about this?” I brushed my lips over her neck and up to her ear.

  She said nothing, just stayed still as the water lapped against us.

  “Damn, I missed this smell,” I said as I breathed in her sun-soaked hair.

  Taryn pushed away, and my arms fell to my sides. Then, to my surprise, she turned and reclined against my chest.

  After a long moment, she whispered, “I love it here.”

  “Me too.”

  I doubt we were talking about the same thing. She was taking in the scenery, her gaze fixed on the sycamore and elms cupping the opposite shoreline, while I was content just holding her.

  “I’ve always wanted to live by the water,” she mused. “I have a lot at Lake Travis.”

  Since I didn’t know how long the magic would last, I took full advantage of the conversation. “I know a good builder if you’re interested.”

  She released a tremulous breath. “Already have one. The house has been framed for six years.” Dropping her head back, she looked up at me with a sad smile. “Paige designed it. It was her house.”

  I swept a curl behind her ear. “I could help you finish it.”

  Turning her attention back to the trees, she shrugged. “Why? It would just be an empty house. I couldn’t sell it. And I can’t live there. It’s better to leave it unfinished. Like Paige.”

  Her voice cracked, so I tightened my hold, coaxing her back from wherever she was.

  “Maybe it’s better to have a short life filled with great things than a long life full of unfulfilled promises.”

  “Why can’t you have both?”

  I chuckled. “I wonder that every time I pick up a guitar.”

  She settled into the crook of my arm so she could see my face. “What do you mean?”

  Pondering for only a moment, I finally said, “I’ve been playing the guitar since before I could remember. My dad was in a band.” She nodded, and I could tell it was no surprise. “He used to make me go onstage before his shows. And it was so lonely up there. Just my guitar echoing off every wall, with only the techs and roadies to serenade.”

  Her brow furrowed. “You don’t like to play? But you’re so good.”

  I pressed a kiss to the little crease on her forehead. “I like a small stage where the audience can breathe with me. If I try to go bigger—”

  Whatever thought was about to escape receded into the dark space in my head when a group of ten or so kids bounded into the water.

  Taryn let out a little sigh as she climbed to her feet.

  “We should get back,” she said, squinting down at me.

  We. I liked the sound of that.

  I hauled myself up, nodding. “Yeah.”

  We’d just reached the shore when Laurel appeared at the tree line.

  “Where’s that green canvas bag?” she called. “I packed my extra bathing suit in it before we left the loft.”

  I was still trying to figure out what bag she was talking about, and where it could be, when I caught sight of Taryn looking down at her toes.

  She couldn’t think …

  But when she brought her gaze to mine, I knew that she did.

  “No, no,” I said, chuckling. “That’s Logan’s sister. She’s just a friend.”

  My explanation didn’t seem to matter because Taryn nodded and turned on her heel. She passed Laurel as the kid trudged to the beach.

  Tamping down my anger, which had nothing to do with Laurel, I dug my keys out of my waterproof bag and handed them over. “Look in the truck.”

  She tossed me a smile and then took off at a run.

  Shaking my head, I took a step, grazing my foot on a jagged rock protruding from the silt. I dug the stone from its hiding place to keep some unsuspecting kid from cutting themselves.

  The plain little rock had obviously broken away from one of the larger boulders. Jagged on one side, bright veins of color burst from the smooth surface on the other.

  The stone was too beautiful to throw back, even with its jagged, imperfect edges, so I stowed it in my pocket.

  Trudging back up the worn path, the rock bit into the skin on my thigh as I followed Taryn’s muddy footprints until they were no longer legible.

  We were already an hour late pushing off when I tossed my tube into the river. Sinking onto the float, I looked around.

  Spotting Laurel at the water’s edge talking to someone outside our group, I nudged Cameron’s shoulder. “What’s that about?”

  He followed my gaze, then shrugged. “No clue.” Securing his float to Lily’s with thick twine, he tested the knot. “Let’s hope Logan doesn’t get all twitchy,” he said. “We don’t need him throwing any punches.”

  A dry chuckle bubbled from my chest when my brother tied the knot again. And again. “Dude, I’d worry more about Lily’s narrow ass sliding through the tube than losing her on the river.”

  His brow creased. “I didn’t think about that.” He glanced at Lily, packing snacks in a waterproof bag a few feet away. “Maybe I should have her ride with me.”

  “She’s not a toddler,” I said.

  Cameron ripped a hand through his hair. “I know, but she’s never done this before.”

  “And you’ve been doing it since you were eight. She’ll be fine.”

  His concern was admirable, but at the moment, I just wanted to get this show on the road. The sooner we got to the campsite, the sooner I could disappear into my tent. It was easier to avoid Taryn when she wasn’t standing four yards away in a bikini.

  Hidden behind my sunglasses, my gaze roamed the length of her body, settling on her erect nipples. The pebbled peaks were barely visible, but of course, I noticed.

  Glaring at me, she folded her arms over her chest.

  Yeah, baby, I’m looking … sue me.

  I groaned as the tide pulled me closer to their group.

  Dylan pushed off the shore, sliding his float between Tori’s and Taryn’s. “Beckett’s tied up,” he said. “He’ll be here when he can.

  Taryn stared off into the distance as Tori and Dylan floated toward the open river.

  Sucking down the last of my beer, I tuned out the revelry surrounding me and then let my head fall back.

  A couple hours later, Taryn cut in front of me, kicking purposefully.

  “What’s your hurry?” I asked.

  She broke to the far right and continued to paddle. “No hurry.”

  From her position, a few yards ahead on the left, Tori called out to Taryn, “Hey! You said you weren’t going to do the drop! Get over here!”

  Repositioning herself atop the tube, Taryn waved at Tori. “I want to grab a shower before it gets too crowded, so I’m taking the shortcut.”

  Tori cursed as she floated to the left at the bend al
ong with the rest of the group. It was the easier route by far, with calm water that spilled out onto the clearing where we would make camp.

  I drifted to the right at the last moment, and followed Taryn.

  She looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Have you ever been this way?”

  “Many times.” I dropped a hand into the water, paddling toward her, but the tide picked up, widening the gap. “I’ve probably been doing this float longer than you have.”

  Minutes later, the trees became denser, blocking out a little of the sun. I sat up straight and examined the shoreline. The water was up at least a foot—maybe two—from the norm. This route was by no means treacherous. Tricky? Sometimes. But the sound of the falls ahead was louder than I remembered. Louder than it should be.

  A sinking feeling hit my stomach, and kept right on going,

  “Taryn!” I yelled. “Wait for me, baby.”

  “I … I can’t stop,” she said through gritted teeth. “The water’s a little choppy.”

  A little choppy? I was being thrown around pretty good, and I was six three and two hundred pounds. Taryn was almost a foot shorter, and couldn’t weigh more than a buck twenty.

  “Just hold on, baby.” I tried to mask the urgency in my tone as I wiggled to free my legs so I wasn’t a slave to the tide. Head first in the tube was never recommended. In calm water it was fine. But in chop, you could slide under. I didn’t even want to think about what could happen in this position going over the drop.

  I kicked furiously, but Taryn slipped over the falls before I could reach her. My leg scraped the jagged rocks as I followed her over, landing with a splash at the bottom.

  I looked around in a panic. “Taryn!”

  Spying her empty yellow float, I dipped under the water line. All matter of debris swirled in front of me as I tried to make out any shapes in the murky depth. Spotting her red bikini, I surged forward.

  Please … please … please …

  Grabbing her around the waist, I held on tight until I felt the muddy ground beneath my feet. A cough wracked Taryn’s body as I laid her on a patch of tall grass under a canopy of trees.

  “Baby …” I slapped her cheek lightly. “Taryn, talk to me.”

  “Chase …” She coughed out my name along with a mouthful of water.