Vicki Hinze - [Seascape 01]

by Vicki Hinze

  And as much as she would like to ignore the possibility of... the other, there was a preponderance of evidence she couldn’t explain away. Hadn’t MacGregor said Aaron Butler hung onto Batty Beaulah’s every word, fascinated that her tales about Seascape might be true? Hadn’t Beaulah told Lucy that a ghost kept MacGregor landlocked here? Hadn’t Maggie herself seen Aaron on his bike down in the village and asked him if he’d ever heard any weird stories about Seascape, and hadn’t he spent ten minutes relaying Beaulah’s stories and ended with a shiver-inducing: Oh, yeah, Miss Wright, Seascape and all the land around it is haunted. And that’s the truth.

  She hadn’t believed him then. MacGregor warned her Aaron was a good kid but he was also the home-of-the-whopper storyteller of Sea Haven Village. Could that be true and at the same time Aaron and Batty Beaulah also be right about the haunting? If Maggie had seen what she thought she’d seen, then they were right. Question was, had she seen what she thought she’d seen?

  Maggie worried her lip. The heavy fog made it so difficult to tell. She could barely see MacGregor and yet she stood less than two feet away from him.

  Tony had stepped back, much farther away than two feet. Maybe he truly had been just a well-meaning villager out for a late night stroll and MacGregor hadn’t seen him because of the fog—and, for the same reason, when he’d talked, she hadn’t seen his lips move. Fog and mist certainly could distort perception.

  At best, the hypothesis rated unlikely. Tony had known her name. But then so had Lucy and Miss Millie. Gossip traveled fast around here, and the condom tidbit had been juicy. Heck, after the bulletin board incident, there likely wasn’t a soul in the village over the age of twelve who hadn’t heard her name. With that second posting—whatever it was for—her name remained posted even now.

  Furthermore, ghost or man—God, how she prayed he’d been a man—his voice belonged to someone. Mist and fog and that little bit of distance didn’t distort sound. MacGregor hadn’t heard the man, but Maggie sure had. And according to him, his name was Tony.

  Had he claimed himself Collin, she’d really have something to worry about here. But he hadn’t. So there was a strong possibility that this was a totally explainable occurrence and entirely non-entity related. It certainly couldn’t hurt to ask Miss Hattie if she knew of a Tony. That shouldn’t have the dear angel worrying and wanting to lock Maggie in a padded room with the white-jacketed inkblot studiers who ask too many questions about mothers.

  “Maggie, where are you?” Holding her by both arms, MacGregor increased the pressure of his fingers. “You seem so far away. I hate it when you drift off like that and leave me in the dust.”

  She looked up and saw that worry chiseled into his expression. “I’m sorry, I’m just so... confused.”

  He circled her shoulder and pulled her close to his side. “Just please don’t cry, Maggie. I can take anything but tears.”

  “I don’t cry.”

  He stared at her strangely, started to say something, then stopped and clearly said something entirely different. “We’ll sort through all this, but we don’t have to do it right this second. Sooner or later, we’ll get a firm grip on everything, okay? So long as you don’t regret what happened between us, there’s no reason to panic.”

  For the sake of her sanity, she hoped they resolved this matter sooner. “I don’t regret it. Didn’t I tell you that already? I know I did.”

  “Lord, but I love a feisty woman.” He grinned. “Let’s go back inside, mmm? You’re trembling.”

  “I’m cold.” She was. She shook like a leaf caught in an infamous Maine nor’easter. But it had nothing to do with the icy wind. This cold was internal. “Tyler, something has occurred to me and I want to talk about it.” Heading back to the inn, she stepped onto the stone path and followed it on down to the street.

  Seeing nothing but fog and darkness, they crossed over to Seascape’s lawn and Maggie huddled closer to MacGregor’s side. “When we’re together and not angry with each other, it’s usually sunny. But when we aren’t—like that week the entity told me to stay away from you—or when we’re at odds, then the weather turns foul.” She paused at the back door to the inn. “Have you noticed that?”

  When they were inside and putting their coats on the pegs, he answered. “From our earlier discussions, I think I know where you’re going with this, but I don’t believe Mother Nature is our entity, Maggie. Maine weather just changes like this. It’s normal here.”

  In the gallery, the clock ticked steadily. Maggie focused on the sound and climbed the stairs. “Okay, I agree the weather here can spike both ends of a thermometer in a single day, but you have to agree that when we stick together this entity seems, I don’t know, more content.”

  “That, I’ve noticed. It doesn’t hassle us as much. When we’re at odds, it lets us know it’s ticked.”

  She stopped on the landing. “Any idea why?”

  “’Fraid not. You?”

  “None whatsoever—aside from the obvious.”

  “It wants us together.”

  She nodded.

  “That’s about how I see it, too.”

  Standing at the top of the stairs in the dusky hallway, MacGregor looked as uncertain as she felt about where to go from here. He lifted his brows in silent question, asking her preference. Not knowing the proper protocol for lovers sharing a house these days—or any days, for that matter—she paused. At least about this she should just talk straight to the man. “Tyler, I—” Her throat muscles locked tight.

  His expression turned solemn. “I want to be with you, Maggie.”

  The weight on her shoulders lifted and, oddly, her muscles relaxed as if massaged. “Me, too.”

  Feeling that warm, sourceless breeze blow across her skin, she sensed approval, clasped their hands, then walked back to her room.

  The shades were up at the turret windows. Pale moonlight beamed into the room and slanted across the floor. Maggie didn’t pause to turn on the lamp, just stopped beside the rumpled bed and took off her robe, then slid between the sheets, nude and shivering.

  MacGregor was still undressing, and she cursed the darkness keeping secrets of him from her. Could his body really be sculpted as perfectly as it had felt to her hands?

  He lay down beside her, then pulled the sheet and coverlet up over them. “Come snuggle me, Maggie. I forgot my shirt and I’m freezing.”

  “I noticed.” Boy, had she. The man was walking temptation. Even from her side of the bed, she felt his heat, but since she wanted a good snuggle herself, she didn’t mention his warmth, just slid over, rolled onto her side, and into his arms. She rested her head against his shoulder. “MacGregor, can I ask you something, mmm, personal?”

  “Anything.”

  She pecked a kiss to his neck to thank him for that openness, and that earned her a gentle squeeze. “You won’t take it wrong?”

  “I can’t say for sure, since I don’t know what it is.”

  “Well, it could be taken as an ego stab—but I don’t mean it that way.”

  “This would be easier if you’d just define it.” He stroked her hair, scalp to ends.

  “It’s about when we made love.”

  “Finally, a little praise. No offense, Maggie, but you do leave a guy feeling wounded by not telling him whether or not you’re pleased.”

  Spit. How could she ask him after that remark?

  “Um, you’re not saying anything.” He swallowed hard. “This is about praise, isn’t it?” His voice reeked an uncertainty that tugged at her heartstrings.

  “Not exactly.” He went stiff as a board, and she gave his chest a soothing pat. “I think I’d better try to explain, after all.”

  “That would be... appropriate.”

  Inwardly, she sighed. His tone couldn’t be any more formal if he were participating in
a UN diplomatic debate. “You were

  wonderful—”

  “Of course.” He expelled a long breath she bet he hadn’t realized he’d held.

  “Arrogant jerk.”

  “That’s not praise, sweetheart.”

  “Really? You usually think it is.”

  “This isn’t usual.”

  She propped her chin on his chest and looked him in the eye. “You really were wonderful... physically.”

  His cocky expression turned to a glare.

  “Don’t even think about snarling, MacGregor. I said it was wonderful. That’s praise.”

  “You said, physically. That’s a qualifier. One that deals a man’s ego a pretty hard blow, in case you didn’t know.”

  “I knew you’d take this wrong. I just knew it.”

  “I’m still trying to determine what this is. How can I take it wrong when I don’t what it is? And you can’t toss in a qualifier on something like that and not—”

  “Okay, here it is,” she interrupted, her face hot with a good mix of temper and embarrassment. He wasn’t making this easy for her, damn him. “When we made love, did it feel... right to you?”

  Right? T.J. held off a grimace by a nail’s width. She sounded worried. What was she getting at? She had been satisfied. He’d seen to it. “What do you mean, right?”

  She twirled the hair on his chest, let the heel of her hand graze his nubbed nipple. “You know what I mean.”

  “I don’t.” He looked down into her upturned face, not sure he wanted to know. He’d been too needy for a stellar performance, but she had been satisfied. Evidently, though, only physically. He sighed.

  “I’m asking if you were... Never mind. Forget I brought it up.” She looked away.

  Forget it? How could he forget it? “It had been a long time for both of us,” he whispered softly. “It was too fast, Maggie, but I wanted you so—”

  “Then it didn’t feel right to you.”

  “I didn’t say that.” Oh, hell, she meant emotionally. Did the woman have a hotline to his soul? She couldn’t. He had to be reading more into this than was there.

  “You didn’t say it, but you felt it, Tyler. I know you did.”

  “Because you felt it, too?” His heart nearly stopped.

  Blinking hard and fast, she nodded.

  Not only a hotline, it appeared, but a personal 800 number. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you. I did. I still do.” More than was safe or wise for either of them. “You mean... a lot to me.”

  “Then what was wrong? Did I do something—”

  “No, you were perfect.” From her tone, she wanted reassurance. He stroked the length of her back with tender, long sweeps of his hand and decided to ask her. “Do you really want the truth?”

  “Yes.”

  She hadn’t hesitated. He pressed a kiss to her temple to let her know that pleased him. “I think I’ve done something unforgivable, honey. Something so bad I can’t believe I let it happen. And, I think, it’s got me unintentionally holding back.” He shuddered.

  “Nothing can be that awful, MacGregor.”

  “It can. Knowing what I know, it’s criminal and cruel that I think so much of you and yet I did this anyway, Maggie. What kind of person am I to do that?”

  Maggie winced. He sounded so sincere, so troubled. “What have you done?”

  “I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  Stunned, she went totally still. She couldn’t, she wouldn’t believe it. He was sincere, but he was wrong. He’d see that soon enough and, if she dared to believe it, then when he realized he’d been mistaken, she’d be hurt. “Tyler, you haven’t,” she reassured him, forcing a lightness into her voice that she sure didn’t feel.

  Why did knowing he didn’t love her hurt? She should be happy. Elated. Delighted. She was the woman who didn’t even like him most of the time. Instead, as Miss Hattie would say, Maggie felt depressed to the gills. “It’s just lust. You’ve been alone here for a long, long time. When you have no woman around, any woman appeals.”

  “That’s not true.”

  The seventeen mismatches. “Trust me, Tyler. Take lust, toss in a soft spot of caring because you’re tenderhearted—I dragged you over the cliffs, and I didn’t bombard you with uncomfortable questions—and you’ve got it. It’s not love.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  The hope in his voice crushed her. “I’m sure of it,” she insisted, swallowing a knot of sudden tears that had lodged in her throat.

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “I am.” Damn, she was going to cry. Why in the world should she even want to cry? This wasn’t a long-term thing with them. She’d known that going in. So why did she expect the rules to change in the middle of the game? Why did she want them to change? He could hurt her, and she knew it. He wasn’t like her father now. But surely her father had changed after her mother had fallen in love with him, too. Otherwise, she’d never have taken the plunge.

  T.J. sighed, as if letting go of the worry. “Maggie?”

  “Mmm?”

  “There’s a little problem.”

  “What?”

  “If it were lust, then when we made love, wouldn’t that end it?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.” No lie there. She hadn’t a clue. “Maybe it’s been so long that you’re just not satisfied yet.”

  “Are you?”

  “No, but it’s been a while for me, too.” Thank God for darkness. Her face had to be fire-engine red. The heat coming off it likely would scorch him, but at least he wouldn’t see her flaming face, too.

  “I’m not satisfied—neither of us are—and that’s my point.” He urged her onto her back with a hand to her shoulder, then raised up on his bent elbow, draped his leg across hers and cupped her breast in his huge hand. “If it were lust, I wouldn’t be here telling myself that I shouldn’t be here. I’d be having sex with you, slaking the lust, and not thinking about my feelings because I’d know that tomorrow I’d have no feelings and this thing between us would be over.” He dropped his voice. “But it won’t be over, Maggie. Not tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that. And I’m not lying here thinking of slaking lust and having sex. I’m thinking of how much I want to make love with you because I want to give you all of me, and I’m fighting it because I’m afraid of what will happen to you if I do. I’m afraid I’ll lose you, and I’m afraid of what will happen to me if I lose you. There won’t be anything left inside me.”

  “I’m not Carolyn.” Maggie blinked hard to keep the tears burning her eyes at bay. She would not cry. She’d never cry. Her father had loved her tears. Carolyn had loved them. But Maggie had stopped them then, and she’d stop them now.

  “No, you’re not Carolyn.” He stared down at her, his eyes riddled with torment. “You mean more. I can’t explain that. Please, don’t ask me to because I can’t. I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s... more.”

  He thought he loved her. But he didn’t.

  Miss Hattie’s words. About him and Carolyn. He hadn’t loved Carolyn, Maggie now agreed. But he didn’t love her, either. He just thought he did. And why that devastated her when it should relieve her, she didn’t dare to think about.

  Though it seemed redundant, her heart insisted she tell him again. Maybe, just maybe in doing so, she could convince herself, as well. She reached up and cupped his hand on her face. “It’s not love, Tyler. It’s the caring that’s confusing you. It’s our bond. And it’s because you’re a healthy, virile, and very physical man who’s abstained for a long time. When you’re in lust, you satisfy it, and it’s over. But when you care, well, the tender feelings linger. Yet that’s still not love.”

  “You seem so sure.”

  “I am.” He couldn’t possibly love her. What in the w
orld would entice him to love her? Of course, she was sure. And, God, how it hurt to be right.

  “Maybe we just need time for everything to settle.”

  They did. She grabbed onto the thought as if it were a lifeline. Because as much as he needed it, she needed it more. “Exactly,” she said. “We’ve both been under a lot of emotional strain. We came here as wrecks, MacGregor. Then the entity cranked up his antics, and we realized we share a strong bond. All that rolled together, and it has our true feelings for each other muddled.”

  He settled back onto his pillow beside her then stared at the ceiling. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we’re just clinging so hard because we’re out of control.”

  Missing his warmth, feeling disconnected from him and hating it, she agreed. “That’s about the way I see it.”

  The temperature in the room plummeted.

  Shivering, Maggie scooted even closer to MacGregor, breast to chest, stomach to ribs, thigh to thigh, to steal some more of his heat. She buried her head at the crook of his shoulder and neck and inhaled deeply. “Feel better now that you’re off the hook?”

  “Yeah, I do.” He slid his arm over her and cupped her bottom with his huge hand, then sighed. “But I think our entity is opposing.”

  So did she. It had turned frigid in here. She let her hand glide up MacGregor’s side, over his thigh to his ribs, then on to his chest where she stroked him, nipple to nipple. Hair-roughened, smooth and hard, like lush velvet over sun-warmed granite, the feel of him enticed her. Set her fantasies into motion. Had her longing, and her voice thick and husky. “Are we going to do anything about it?”

  She’d thought it, but she hadn’t meant to say it. Tony, are you interfering here? If so, get out. This is private, and voyeurs aren’t welcome.

  He laughed.

  Maggie heard it—and just as quickly, she denied that she’d heard it. Denied she’d prompted that laughter, and then that she’d heard it. She absolutely, positively refused to believe in ghosts. It’d be absurd.

  “Not just yet.” MacGregor tightened his hold on her as if to ensure she didn’t misunderstand and think he didn’t want her. “We both need to sort out some things first—so it’ll be right.” He pecked a kiss to her forehead. “I want it to be right between us, Maggie. That’s important to me.”