Incite

by Heather Leigh

  I need to go faster. Slower. Faster. I just need her.

  Her hands skim up my back and settle on either side of my face, pulling me up until our foreheads press together. “Me too.” She groans, then kisses me passionately, nipping at my lips, sucking my tongue into her hot mouth.

  “Fuck, El, I can’t hold back,” I growl as my thrusts speed up and her hips buck off the bed to meet me in perfect rhythm.

  “I’m there Adam, don’t stop.” She pants and makes incoherent noises that drive me to pound harder into her tight heat. Her fingers weave into my hair and pull, sending a wonderfully painful shock across my scalp.

  Fuck! More, I need more. But I don’t want it to end.

  Ellie lifts one leg and wraps it around my back, changing the angle that I enter her. It feels so amazing that it makes my eyes roll up into my head. Without warning, the overwhelming feeling of white hot ecstasy crackles down my spine and jets out of me in one of the most powerful orgasms of my life.

  While I’m thrusting deep those last few times, Ellie calls out my name and drags her nails across my shoulders as she reaches her own climax. Her convulsions milk every last bit of pleasure out of me as she shudders for what seems like ages.

  Spent and sweaty, we stay like that for a while, skin to skin as I gently run my fingers through her hair, resting most of my weight on my forearms. She smiles and drags one hand up and down my back, her eyes filled with awe, as if she’s making sure I’m real and won’t disappear if she looks away.

  “I’ll be right back, Sweetheart.” I press a quick kiss to her red, swollen mouth and slip into the bathroom to clean up.

  When I return, Ellie is under the covers, chewing on her thumbnail nervously. At least she isn’t dressed and ready to take off. I duck under the sheets and pull her over on top of me, chest-to-chest so I can see the perfect face that I’ve missed every day for the past six years. We tangle our legs together and she looks at me affectionately. I can’t find a single trace of regret in her eyes for what we just did and that gives me hope. Hope that she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.

  “Ellie…” I stroke her back with the callouses that have formed on my fingers after a decade of playing the guitar and she shivers. “I love you. What happens now?”

  “Now? Let’s rest so we have enough energy to do that again,” she giggles.

  I know she’s avoiding my question, and for now, I’ll take what she’s offering. But there’s no way she’s leaving this suite without discussing our future. The future we both deserve. One that keeps us together.

  chapter 26

  Ellie

  I can feel Adam’s eyes on me as I get dressed in his hotel suite. We spent the last few hours in bed, making love several times in between dozing off and having a bite to eat from room service. He wants to talk about ‘us’, the future, whatever that means.

  “Ellie, we still haven’t discussed this,” he says, sweeping his arm in the direction of the rumpled bed.

  I yank on my boots and pull my hair back into a ponytail. “I know Adam, it’s complicated.”

  “How is it complicated?” His voice is getting louder and more upset by the second.

  Standing up, I watch as he paces the length of the room, clearly agitated. “Because it’s not that easy. I have a life here, a job, a… fiancé. Should I leave all that and just follow you around the world as your groupie?” Do I even have a fiancé anymore?

  Why am I being so difficult?

  Adam jerks to a stop and whirls around to face me, grabbing my upper arms. “You’re not a groupie, you’re mine. And yes, Ellie. You should be with me. You’re not safe here. Callum Murray is still out there, and he can and probably will come after you again. You can be our nurse for the tour, we always have someone with medical training with us. Then we can buy houses in L.A. and London, hell, wherever you want. We can even split our time in both places.”

  He has really put a lot of thought into this. My heart gets heavy at the thought of leaving my mum, at disappointing James. “I don’t know, Adam. I… I owe James a lot. He was there…”

  “Don’t you dare, El,” Adam snaps, his lips pulled back into an angry scowl. “Don’t stay with him out of gratitude. You don’t love him, I know you don’t.” Adam’s eyes bore into me, peeling back the layers to try and find my innermost secrets.

  I have to avert my eyes because it’s so uncomfortable. He always sees right through me.

  “You’re mine, Ellie. We belong together. I love you. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

  My cheeks heat up and I meet his passionate stare. “Of course it means something! Why do you think I came here today? It’s because I love you! I’ve only ever loved you!”

  Adam yanks me to him, slanting his mouth down on mine roughly until we have to stop and catch our breath. He glides a hand down my cheek in a loving caress. “Don’t leave me again, El. I can’t take it.” He presses several small kisses on my lips. “Let me get dressed, I’ll have my driver take you home.”

  “Okay.” I sit back on the bed and watch as he grabs some jeans and a T-shirt. “Wait,” I say as he’s about to put the shirt on. “Come here.”

  Adam walks over, eyeing me warily and stands between my legs, his glorious torso bared to me. I reach up and trace over the black ink that swirls up one of his arms, stopping at his shoulder. “When did you get this?”

  He steps closer, putting his hands behind my knees and wrapping my legs around his waist. “A year or so ago. I’ve been wanting it for a while.” He caresses the sensitive skin on my calves, brushing his fingers up and down.

  “Your drawings,” I whisper.

  “You remember?” He looks at me, astonished.

  “I remember everything about you, Adam.”

  “It’s not finished yet. I want it to come down over one side of my chest, over my heart.” I put my hand on the left side of his chest and hold it there until he blushes and steps back from my touch.

  “Let me finish getting dressed,” he says. “It’s getting late.”

  I nod and step out of the room so I can think more clearly. Being around him isn’t helping me to be rational about my choices.

  Adam’s phone buzzes from the coffee table where he left it. I see Dax’s name and giggle. Then I see the photo that Dax sent and my heart constricts painfully. It’s Adam, half-dressed, pressed between two semi-naked women and he’s obviously enjoying himself. Horrified, I drop the phone and back away, swallowing down the bile that threatens to rise up.

  I pull my own phone out of my handbag and see that I’ve missed… seven! calls from James. Shit! We haven’t spoken since our row last night in the car. What am I going to do? Did I break up with him the other night? Do I stay with James out of obligation, even though I don’t love him? I’ve stalled on setting a date for a wedding for so long that he must know something is wrong. But can I leave London? My mum? My job?

  Then I think about leaving Adam, how I would feel if I never saw him again after today, and my body reacts violently. I have to hunch over, as if someone kicked me in the gut. My heart is beating so fast it hurts, and sweat begins to form on my forehead.

  I drop onto the plush sofa and put my head between my legs. I have no idea what I should do. Can I be with a man who has fucked anything that’s been thrown at him? He’s always been like that though, even back in school he had slept with half of the girls there and it didn’t stop what we had from being amazing.

  “Ellie? Are you alright?” Adam has rushed over to where I’m sitting and is crouching in front of me, gently pushing my hair back from my face.

  “Yes, I was just thinking,” I take deep breaths to calm my nerves.

  “Thinking what, Sweetheart?”

  “Just about the choices I have to make.” I look into Adam’s eyes, the flecks of green and brown shining with emotion.

  He sweeps me up into a bone-crushing hug. “Chose me, you won’t regret it, El. I promise.”

  I think about th
at photo again and frown. That’s not the same Adam that I dated years ago. My Adam was caring and thoughtful and terribly sweet to me. Kate had hinted years ago that Adam took up drinking after we broke up. He’s not drunk now, in fact, he hasn’t had a drink all day except the champagne we sipped off of each other’s bodies. I’ve seen the gossip columns though, his drunken escapades have become legendary.

  But he’s not like that with me, never has been. I don’t think he would be either.

  Adam takes me down to the lobby, having already told his driver to meet us out front. He pulls his cap down low over his face and puts on a huge pair of sunglasses that make me giggle.

  “What?” he asks, smiling at me.

  “You look like a bug.” I flick his sunglasses with a finger.

  “Trust me, it’s better than the alternative.” He visibly shivers in disgust. “I can’t go anywhere if anyone spots me.”

  “Oh.” I don’t really think of Adam as famous, he’s just Adam. My boyfriend from school, not some international rock star. One with naked women draped all over him 24/7.

  “Stop overthinking things, Ellie. I know that’s what you’re doing.”

  Damn, how does he do that?

  The driver hops out of a sleek black car and opens the door for me.

  “El, you have my number. Ring me anytime, for anything. I have to leave tonight for our next stop on the tour. We only have a month left and then we can figure out everything else.” Adam leans in for a kiss.

  “Okay.” I murmur against his lips.

  “I’ll miss you so much El. We’ll be so great together, you’ll see. Just give us a chance.”

  We kiss one last time before I get into the car and he gently closes the door. I watch as he ducks his head and hurries back inside the hotel, not wanting to be recognized on the street.

  “Address, miss,” the driver says, startling me.

  I tell him where to go and rest my head back on the soft leather seat. Today was so wonderful, but it was so terrible at the same time. I reunited with Adam, the only man I’ve ever loved and it was amazing. I’ve also become a liar and a cheater, having been unfaithful to James, who I’m supposed to love and marry. Or were we already broken up?

  Of course, I don’t love James, and I’ve been putting off the marriage bit for months now. Still, he deserves someone better than me, a phony who keeps him around because she’s afraid of a bully from her past. It’s not fair to him. The thought of completely breaking it off with James makes me ill, but I haven’t got a choice. Adam should be my future, and I’ve waited long enough for that future to begin.

  Then there’s Adam’s fame to consider. Can I live like that? With beautiful women throwing themselves at him constantly, quite possibly right in front of me? I saw Adam in school and at that party in L.A. He would shag anything in a skirt. Not to mention that picture, which I’m sure is just one of many. He says he’s in love with me, but would that keep him from taking what’s always going to be so readily offered?

  “We’re here, miss.” The driver hops out and opens my door.

  “Thank you so much,” I tell the driver as I get out at the University College Hospital where I work. I have to get my schedule for the next two weeks, so I had the driver drop me off here instead of at my flat.

  My head aching and my body exhausted, I hurry inside and take the lift to my floor, grabbing a copy of the schedule out of the break room. I’m able to duck back out without any of my coworkers noticing me. I want to get home to think and I’m way too distracted to have any sort of social interaction right now.

  My phone rings as I ride the tube home and my stomach jolts when I see that it’s James. I can’t duck another call from him, I have to answer.

  “Hello?”

  “Ellie? Where have you been all day? I stopped by your flat and you weren’t there? And you didn’t answer your phone.” He sounds worried and annoyed.

  “Sorry, I went to the hospital to get my schedule and you know they have a no phone policy, so I turned it off and must have forgot to turn it back on.” The lie comes so easy to me that I feel like throwing up.

  “Oh, okay. I was so worried about you.” Guilt pierces through me at his concern. “Can I come round tonight? We can get take-out.”

  “I’m not feeling well, James. How about tomorrow?” I need more time to process my thoughts, to decide on my future.

  “Are you still mad at me about last night? Because you’re right Ellie, it’s none of my business who you used to date. We’re not over, are we?”

  So sweet and thoughtful, he really does deserve someone better than me.

  “No, I’m not mad anymore, I promise. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Okay, love you El.”

  “Me too,” I answer pathetically and hang up.

  God, I am such a shitty person.

  chapter 27

  Adam

  Dax and I are sitting in the back of the chauffeured car as we near our destination. I can’t sit still, drumming my fingers on my knee nervously.

  “Stop it, you’re driving me mental.” Dax swats my hand away from my leg. “You and your damn twitching!”

  “Hey! Watch it. You could break my fingers with those giant meat paws of yours. Then how would I play my guitar?”

  The bastard actually fucking laughs. Like there’s anything even remotely funny about this. Our manager would have our bloody heads on a platter if he knew what we were doing. At least I thought to bring one of the larger security guys from the tour with us. Ronin Walsh is a giant, mean looking, Irish bloke with a shite temper. He’s bigger than Dax or his brothers, and that says a lot. His head almost hits the ceiling of the car where he sits in the passenger seat in front of us.

  “He’d better be prepared to explain why Callum Murray was allowed to get anywhere near Ellie,” I mutter, clenching my fists in my lap.

  “I still can’t believe you’ve been sending that knob head brother of yours money all these years. You had to know he’d just pocket the cash and do absolutely nothing to help you.” Dax looks at me like I’m the stupidest dimwit on Earth.

  “Fuck off, Davies. He protected her while we were in school, didn’t he? How was I to know he’d stop? I figured if the money kept coming, he’d keep up his end.” Yeah, I’m that stupid.

  The car comes to a stop in front of a Chinese restaurant in a so-so area of Northeast London.

  “I guess I know where all of my money went,” I mutter under my breath, noticing the bright red, fancy German sports car parked out front.

  “Fucking prick spent it on himself.” Dax shakes his head in disgust.

  We climb out of the car, followed by Ronin, and walk up the path to the door. The hostess seems to have been expecting us. She gives us the ogling once-over before bringing us to a private room in the back.

  “Danny’s waiting for you,” she says, indicating that we should go on in. She touches my arm and gives me a seductive pout. I scowl and shake off her hand. This isn’t the time or place for a come on, as if I’d ever even consider fucking anyone associated with my disgusting brother.

  Dax snickers under his breath as we enter the room, Ronin right behind us. In front of us is my brother, sitting at the head of a large table like he’s some sort of Godfather, a spread of food covering most of the space. A ridiculously dressed thug is sitting next to him and is immediately told to move by my brother.

  Danny smiles at us, a man who looks so much like me, yet not like me at all. We have the same dark hair, same hazel eyes, but Danny’s are hollow and lifeless, indicative of someone who has seen and done things that most people won’t. He’s much thinner than me, a sign of too little exercise and too many drugs. His skin is pasty and there are dark circles under his eyes. The red rims around his nostrils are like a neon sign pointing to his drug of choice.

  “Adam! Dax! If it isn’t the famous rock stars. Have a seat and grab a plate,” Danny says, acting like this is some kind of family reunion instead of a forced
get together because of my brother’s supreme negligence.

  I reluctantly sit, but refuse to eat anything. I don’t want Danny thinking that this is a friendly meeting. Plus, this place is repulsive. There’s probably rat crap in the teriyaki.

  “Danny, we’re not here for food,” I say tersely. My body is so tense it feels as if the slightest movement will set me off, ready to explode in fury. I hate it, it reminds me of our dad.

  “Oh come off it, Adam. Humor your brother.” Danny sniffs and wipes his nose, his eyes gleaming as he leans back in his chair like he’s a respected Mafioso. What a fucking joke, he’s a small time drug dealer in the East End, not the head of a notorious international crime syndicate.

  “No!” I slam my fist down on the table, rattling flatware and dishes. “I want to know what you’ve been doing with the thousand quid a month I’ve been sending you, because it sure as hell isn’t being used to protect Ellie Palmer!”

  “Thousand quid!” Dax says incredulously. I hold up a finger to silence him.

  “I’m sure you’re mistaken…” Danny squirms uncomfortably under my sharp gaze. “My men…”

  “Shut the fuck up! I’m not mistaken, Danny! That sodding bastard has gone for her twice, and succeeded in hurting her once! Why the fuck weren’t your chavs keeping him in line?” I lean forward in my chair, within striking distance of Danny, whose smirk is really starting to piss me off.

  Right on cue, his idiot thug stands up and moves closer to me, which causes Ronin to move forward, shooting an intimidating glare at Danny’s thug.

  “Hey!” my brother says, holding his hands up in a sign of peace. “Let’s keep this civilized, shall we?”

  “It stopped being civilized the second Ellie was assaulted by that prick! What the fuck am I paying you for?”