Marry Me

by Karen Stivali

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I can’t have sex with you yet.” Oh my God, I can’t believe I just said that.

  He looked startled but quickly recovered, a smile tugging at his lips. “That’s all right. That sort of thing is generally frowned upon in restaurants.”

  She snorted. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt that out. I was just thinking about you walking me home and my no guys rule.” She realized she’d been assuming he even wanted to sleep with her. Oh God. Her stomach twisted with embarrassment.

  He reached out and took her hand, stroking his thumb gently against hers. “Look, Julia, in case you haven’t realized, I like you. I want to spend time with you. But I don’t ever want you to feel pressured to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

  She searched his eyes. He looked so sincere she felt like crying. “I don’t feel pressure. I’m just not very good at the dating thing.”

  “That’s okay, neither am I.”

  She remembered what Niles had said. Married his childhood sweetheart. One-night stands with groupies. But she wasn’t really supposed to know any of that. “Maybe not good is an understatement. My last boyfriend was…a nightmare. When we broke up, I swore to myself I’d never be in that position again. I don’t want to feel that way ever again.”

  Julia’s words hit Ben hard. He’d spent the last three years trying to avoid being hurt. He knew exactly what she meant. “I understand,” he said, though he was wondering what had happened that had caused her so much pain. “I promise you, we can take things as slow as you’d like.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Not at all. Though I suppose this means you’re still not ready to marry me.”

  She smiled. “No.”

  “But I can walk you home?”

  “I’d like that.”

  * * * * *

  The streets were unusually quiet as they strolled. Ben slipped his fingers into Julia’s and was surprised when she gripped his hand tighter than she had the previous night. The attraction between them was clear, he just wondered what pace to set. They arrived at her building and he stopped in front of her. Their fingers were still entwined and he ran his thumb across the silky skin of her wrist. “I’m going to have to start selecting restaurants that are farther from your flat so we can have longer walks home.”

  She smiled and he bent his head to kiss her. Her lips were warm and soft, molding perfectly to his. He breathed her in, wanting so badly to touch her but afraid to scare her off. He swept his tongue against hers and she responded with a low moan. The sound sent a rush of heat straight through him. He cupped her face and felt her relax against his hand, opening herself more fully.

  Not wanting to get carried away, he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers. “I suppose this is good night.” His fingertips stroked her satiny palm.

  She hesitated, then took a deep breath. “You can come up for a little while. If you’d like.”

  He pulled back and looked into her eyes. They were dark and round and he could have stared into them all night. “Are you certain?”

  She tightened her grip on his hand and tugged him toward the door. He followed her up the steep, narrow staircase.

  “Sorry if it’s a bit messy,” she said.

  “I’ve lived on a tour bus for weeks at a time, I don’t think I’ll notice.”

  Her loft was open and spacious. High ceilings, wood floors, whitewashed walls. All the color came from the furniture, large cherry-wood pieces and sumptuous overstuffed chairs, rich burgundy and burnt orange. Enormous prints hung on the walls. A small kitchen with stainless steel appliances graced one wall, pots and pans hung from a metal rack above a freestanding island with barstools. The main space was divided, half as a lounge with sofa and table, the other half as her workspace. Silver racks held hangers full of clothing and metal shelves of fabric lined the wall above a sewing machine. Tall, black lacquered Japanese screens obscured an area he guessed contained her bed.

  “If you think this is messy, I have to wonder what it looks like clean.”

  She smiled. “I don’t really like housekeeping so I always assume the place is trashed. I guess you actually caught me on a good day.” She rested her hands on the butcher block island. “Can I get you a drink? I have wine. Beer. Sweet tea.”

  “Sweet tea?”

  “Old habit. It’s a Southern thing. Iced tea with tons of sugar in it.”

  “Beer. Though I admit, I’m intrigued.”

  “You can have a sip of mine.” She opened the fridge and handed him a bottle then pulled out a pitcher of tea and poured a glass. “You’ll either love it or hate it, there’s no middle ground.”

  He took a sip of the deep amber liquid. “That’s actually quite nice. But I think I’ll stick with the beer. You said it’s a Southern thing. Is that where you’re from?”

  “Born and raised in North Carolina.”

  “Ahh, I thought I heard a hint of a Southern drawl.”

  Her cheeks flushed a deep pink. “It still creeps in from time to time. I worked really hard at getting rid of it when I first moved to New York.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “I moved up here when I was seventeen to attend Parson’s School of Design. Everyone else seemed so cosmopolitan and I didn’t want to sound like some hick.”

  “I find it hard to imagine anyone ever thinking of you as a hick. I rather like a Southern accent myself.” He loved the shy smile that spread across her lips.

  While Julia put the tea away, Ben strolled over to her work area. A drafting table was covered with sketches. “Are these all yours?”

  “Yeah. They’re just ideas. Once in a while I get hired to do custom work, but I’m always sketching stuff for my fantasy line.”

  “They’re brill. I know heaps of people in London who’d buy these in a heartbeat. Let me know if you’re in need of referrals.”

  “Thanks. I wish I had time to sew samples. I’ve been doing so many fashion shoots lately it’s left no time for my own stuff.”

  Ben settled himself on the overstuffed sofa. Julia sat at the far end, cross-legged, facing him. She took another sip of iced tea then set it on the end table. “Do you want to listen to music? Watch a movie?”

  “Music. My brain’s too fried to follow a movie plot right now.” The truth was he wanted to keep talking to her. Adrenaline pumped through him just at the thought of being in her flat. Clearly she’d trusted him enough to allow him up, and he was flattered. “Let’s see what you’ve got.” He placed his beer on the coffee table and perused her CD collection.

  “It’s mostly older stuff. I haven’t bought much music lately. Haven’t had time.”

  “I see you’re quite a fan of The Cure. Even I don’t have some of these.”

  “They were my favorite band for years.”

  “Mine too.” He pulled out Japanese Whispers and placed the disc in the CD player. The second he hit play, he realized the first song was Let’s Go to Bed.

  Julia didn’t seem to mind. She rubbed the area just beneath her fingers.

  “Hand cramps?” Ben asked, sitting back down.

  “Yes. I hate them. I’ve been sewing so much lately my hands and feet get ridiculously sore.”

  “That’s a classic drummer’s complaint. Here, let me help.” He reached for her.

  She hesitated a moment then placed her hand in his. He rolled her hand between both of his, then went to work massaging small circles up the length of her palm. He ran his hand up each finger, one at a time, applying gentle pressure at the tips.

  “You’re really good at that.”

  “I ought to be. Took three classes in reflexology. Most people don’t realize how grueling drumming can be. Other hand?”

  “Sure.”

  He worked his way through each finger, feeling the tension release as he went. Her tension. Being so close to her, having his hands on her, feeling her soft skin against his, was causing heat to knot his entire bod
y from the waist down. He could tell she was becoming more relaxed by the second. “I do feet too. Come, put them up.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive. Come on, you’ve run your hands all over me measuring this and that, I promise your feet are safe with me.”

  She swung her legs onto his lap as she reclined against the cushiony arm of the couch. He shifted so she wasn’t resting against the increasingly stiffening bulge in his jeans. He began the same routine, rubbing first, then pressing in small circles. Her eyes drifted close. She’s so beautiful. Her dark eyelashes cast shadows on her cheeks. Her lips, full and pouty, parted slightly. Within minutes she was asleep, breathing evenly. She may not be willing to have sex with me, but clearly she’s okay with sleeping with me. He chuckled and closed his eyes, letting the soft strains of music carry him away.

  Chapter Four

  Julia awoke feeling completely at peace. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so soundly. She shifted, realizing she was on the couch. Her eyes were dry and she blinked several times in an attempt to rewet her contacts. To her surprise, Ben was fast asleep on his end of the couch. Oh my God. I can’t believe I fell asleep. She sat up slowly, careful not to wake him. Even sleeping he was devastatingly attractive. His head leaned back against the pillows. A day’s worth of stubble shadowed his jaw, making his exquisite cheekbones even more pronounced. His streaky blond hair fell across one eye, giving him an innocent look.

  She couldn’t believe how sweet he was. No pressure. No expectations. All he’d wanted was to take care of her. She inched toward him, sweeping back his silky bangs. Her heart pounded with anticipation. Moving as slowly as she could, she lowered her lips to his.

  He startled and she pulled back. His eyes were a kaleidoscope of blues and grays. She held her breath, hoping she hadn’t made a mistake. What if he— Her thoughts were interrupted as he sank his fingers into her hair and drew her mouth back to his.

  Oh God. Kissing had never felt like this before. His lips were warm and firm, a decadent treat. He tasted like sex and sleep and she couldn’t get enough. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the strong muscles of his shoulders ripple beneath her hands. He eased her down onto the couch in a slow, fluid motion, gentle but in command. Her leg hitched around his hip of its own accord. Feeling him hard against her sent a wave of lust through her. She spiraled her tongue around his until she ran out of breath.

  He gave her another soft kiss then pulled back, his eyes swirling pools of desire. “Good morning.” His husky voice sent shivers up her spine. He rocked against her, rubbing his cock between her legs. Even with all the layers of clothing separating them she knew if he kept moving that way, with that rhythm, that heat, she’d come.

  “Morning,” she whispered, her voice catching, giving away how much pleasure she was deriving from his actions. He smiled, his gaze intently locked on hers, and braced himself against the arm of the couch. His hips moved in the most maddening pattern she could imagine. His thumb grazed her lower lip and she tipped her head back. His hair fell across her cheek as he bent to kiss her ear, her neck.

  She let out a soft moan, locking her leg tighter around him. She wanted him closer, inside her. As if he sensed her wishes, his mouth returned to hers, his tongue moving in tandem with the thrusts he made against her. The heat that concentrated in her belly spread in delicious rolling waves as she felt herself giving in. She cried out against his lips as the pulsations overtook her.

  He kissed her slowly, easing her down from her high. She combed her fingers through his hair. “Wow,” she said, when she found enough composure to speak. “I feel like I’m back in high school making out on my parents’ couch.”

  Ben let out a hearty laugh. “Please tell me your mum’s not going to pop in and forbid me to see you anymore. I’m not sure I could take that.”

  “No, she’s a safe ten-hour drive away.”

  “Good.” He kissed her again. She could still feel him long and hard against her. She shifted to the side, slipping her hand between them, running her fingers over the impressive bulge in his jeans. Her insides fluttered, begging for more.

  “If we’re going to continue like this, I’m going to have to ask that you start making my trousers with a bit more room in the crotch.”

  Julia stood up and reached for Ben’s hand. “Come.”

  The single word was enticing on all possible levels. He followed her to the far side of her apartment, to the edge of the Japanese screen. Her warm fingers ran up the length of his arm, sending shivers throughout his body. His cock strained against his jeans, aching to be let free.

  Ben dipped his head to kiss her. She went up on her toes, curving her body in toward his. Having her pressed against him, her breasts crushed into his chest, her fingers tangled in his hair, made him want nothing more than to make love to her, to be surrounded by her heat. Her words echoed in his head. “I can’t sleep with you.” Does that still apply? Even after last night? After this morning on the couch?

  Julia pulled away, breathless. “I don’t have any condoms.”

  His heart sank. “Neither do I.”

  She looked at him, eyes dark with concentration, then kissed him again, walking them backward behind the mysterious screen. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it loose from his trousers. His erection had long ago managed to work its way free from the confines of his boxers and the sensation of the shirttails dragging against his hyper-aroused flesh was maddening. She made quick work of the buttons and eased the shirt off his shoulders, running her hands over his chest as her mouth continued its exploration of his.

  He inched her sweater dress up over the tantalizing curve of her hip, pausing to caress her luscious bum. As his fingers slid higher, she raised her arms and he pulled the dress up over her head. Her hair tumbled down over her bare shoulders. His heart beat double time. The black lacy bra accented her breasts, making them appear even more lush than he’d imagined. He traced his finger along the top of one cup, feeling her nipple pucker in response.

  She slipped her fingers beneath his waistband as she popped open his button and slowly unzipped. His stomach tensed with impatience as she eased his pants and boxers lower until they dropped to the floor. His cock bobbed, seeking out any possible contact with her. The gentle touch of her skin was almost more than he could bear.

  Her warm hand slithered around his balls, cupping with a gentle squeeze that caused them to contract with anticipation. Tension coiled in his groin and he struggled to contain it. With agonizing precision, she ran the pad of her thumb up the length of him, pausing when she reached the tip, circling against the most sensitive spot with enough force that his breath caught in his throat.

  She curled her fingers around him, a sly smile on her face as she inched them backward toward her bed. The soft, cottony linens felt cool against his overheated skin as he eased himself down alongside her. He kissed her long and slow, savoring her sweet taste.

  The bed was much more comfortable than the couch and left him free to explore her body. He ran his hand along the smooth skin of her stomach, his thumb dipping into her bellybutton as his lips moved to her neck. She still smelled warm from sleep, her skin faintly salty. He kissed his way down to her breasts, reaching back to unhook her bra. The cups fell away and he wasted no time taking one dark, taut nipple into his mouth. She gasped, her fingers curling tighter around his shaft as he flicked his tongue against her ruched flesh.

  Julia shifted, slipping her arms from the tangle of bra straps, and he caught the first glimpse of her creamy breasts. She looked beautiful and vulnerable in a way that overwhelmed him. The tightening in his chest corresponded with the pulsing swell of his cock and he wondered how much longer he could wait before he came.

  He stroked her cheek then lowered his lips to hers. His fingers trailed down, over the delightful curves and swells of her body, until he reached the tantalizing space between her legs. He inched her silky panties down over her legs, loving the way she squirmed to h
elp him. She traced her fingers over his cock with a maddeningly slow pace as he made his way back up her long legs. His thumb teased the delicate skin just beneath her hipbone. Her kisses became more urgent.

  Moving as slowly as he could, he grazed her velvety patch of hair, his middle finger searching lower until he made contact. The swollen nub of her clit throbbed beneath the gentle pressure of his touch. Her responsiveness made him want her even more. He caressed in tiny circles, her soft moans encouraging him with every pass. He ventured lower, her slick folds enveloping his fingers, fluttering with increased intensity. The desire to be inside her made him lightheaded.

  He pumped his cock against her palm, groaning each time she swooped her thumb over his cum-slick head. His fingers matched the rhythm as he dipped in and out of her, swirling around her clit. Her breathing grew raspy, coming in short puffs as they moved in tandem. He felt her tense, her hips rolling upward then freezing as her body pulsed around his fingers. The sensation was too much—her sweet scent, her incredible warmth, the pull of her body. Every bit of his energy seemed to concentrate in his balls. His mouth went dry, his mind blank, all he could feel was the rush of cum as it coursed through his cock, rocketing out of him with enough force to knock the wind out of him. She stroked, maintaining her rhythm until the last burst shot out of him, then slowed her hand, gently caressing as the tremors subsided.

  He rubbed his nose along hers, eyes still closed, breathing her in as they caught their breath.

  “That was amazing,” she whispered.

  “Best non-sex I’ve ever had. Though I’m afraid your linens are a bit worse for the wear.”

  Julia got Ben a towel then headed to the bathroom for a moment alone. She closed the door behind her and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her face was flushed, her eyes glistening, her hair beyond tangled. She turned the water on full blast, splashing some on her face then letting it beat down over her wrists. What are you doing? What if he turns out to be some prima donna rock star? No more controlling men. Remember?