“Interested? I’ll order extra pineapple!” she giggles.
“Don’t be crazy, Mel. You’ve got work tomorrow morning, and I don’t want you falling asleep in the office again.”
“What can I say?” she giggles. “It’s a really boring job. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
“Yes, promise.” I yawn, pulling up outside the hotel entrance.
“Okay, then. See you tomorrow, babe. I’ll leave the key under the watering can by the side gate.”
“Okay, Mel. Love you. Sorry again for what happened.”
“You don’t have to say sorry. It’s not your fault. I never should have let him in.”
“It is my fault. If I had just gone with him, he never would have lashed out. He actually had a really romantic night planned.”
“Romantic?” she scoffs. “In what world? He was like a caffeinated monster; neither of us had a chance once he snapped.”
She’s one hundred percent right, but I can’t think about that right now. “Bye, Mel. See you tomorrow.”
“Make sure you lock the door.”
I sigh. “Yes, Mom, I’ll lock it.”
THREE
Five-star hotel or not, I had the worst sleep of my life. Every time I rolled onto my side, my face felt like it was going to split or explode. I tried putting ice on it, courtesy of the minibar, but it made little to no difference.
I don’t know what I’m going to say to Mel when she sees me, but I can’t stay in this hotel forever. I checked in under the cover of darkness and leave before the sun gets up. I know it’s a little crazy, but I want to do all I can to avoid people at the moment. My arms are bruised, and my face is a mess. And then there’s my head—I feel like all the wires in my brain have disconnected.
Shit. I mean, what the hell do I do? Before this happened, I was just worried about little old me and my silly little problems. But now I’m worried about everything—the police getting involved, Mel, my parents, the family house, Hugo and how violent he was last night, whether I should marry him or not … I know I shouldn’t. I KNOW THAT. Every particle of me is screaming for me not to, but it’s not that simple. It’s not that easy to walk away, especially knowing that if I do, my family will lose everything.
I don’t drive straight back to Mel’s. I put it off for at least eight hours and then some. I’m not ready to answer questions yet. How am I supposed to convince anyone that everything is fine when I can’t even convince myself?
I drive back to where Hugo and I were parked last night when I spoke to Dad. I don’t know what made me come back here—I guess I thought maybe I’d get some sort of divine intervention, a message or a clear voice telling me exactly what I should do. But I don’t.
Instead, I sit and wait in silence, watching the planes come and go, watching the raindrops run down the tinted windows of the car. I thought I was smart; my grades always indicated that I was. But now I know there’s a heck of a big difference between street smart and school smart because if I were so smart, I wouldn’t even be contemplating getting back with him. Yet here I am, doing exactly that. And then there’s Ash. What the heck do I do about him? Push him away? Ignore the feelings I have every time I’m around him? Ignore the weekend we spent together? Ignore the freedom I felt in his arms?
When I finally convince myself that living on the side of the road in Hugo’s car isn’t a viable career option, it’s completely dark out. I’ve been here all day, yet it feels like only one minute has passed. I don’t know if I was awake the entire time or asleep. The drive back to Mel’s is long and boring. In normal circumstances, I would have had the radio up full-blast, windows down, and the breeze rippling through my hair. But not this time. Right now, I can’t think straight.
The noise from my red-faced monkey is driving me bonkers. The little furry shit is having a field day amongst the broken wires of my brain, and I want to scream at it, but I don’t even have the energy.
Thank god for Hugo’s inbuilt GPS, otherwise, I never would have found my way back. If you get in the wrong lane here, it’s not like you can just pull over and ask some dear old lady. Oh no. You’ve got to keep driving and driving in the nose-to-tail traffic until the next exit appears and then try to figure out where you went wrong and how you can get back on track.
I miss home. I miss my old life—the simple one. To make me seem even more cuckoo, I’m still wearing his ring—the one that he so romantically shoved onto my finger. The thing is, right at the moment, I can’t decide if it’s going to stay or go, but I’m worried that if I take it off, I’ll lose it. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
We’re done, monkey! I smile, pulling into Mel’s driveway and yanking on the hand break. I’m taking a shower now, and good luck trying to harsh my mellow in there.
Minutes after I shuffle inside, my phone rings. It’s Hugo. I don’t know how I feel. Nervous? Numb? Frightened? If I’m honest with myself, probably all three. But I’ve got to take the call. I can’t ignore him or the situation. And anyway, I don’t even know why I’m hesitating. In the past, I would have jumped to hear his voice. Oh, I guess that’s why. It’s no longer the past. It’s the present—and the gift of that is far scarier than my past ever was.
“Hey, you.” I kick my shoes off as I lie back onto the bed. “Yes, I got home safe. I got in just a few minutes ago. How was your flight?”
He tells me it was enjoyable and then questions me about his car like it’s his first-born child. “Yes, yes I was very careful with your Lexus. I know it’s very expensive.”
I roll across my lumpy mattress, hearing the key rattle in the front door. “Mel must be home. I should go. Yup, okay, I’ll call you tomorrow. Say hi to Mom and Dad for me. Okay? Yup, I love you too. Bye.”
I don’t know why I said “I love you too.” That was a lie. But what was I supposed to say? Thank you? That would have gone down like a plane with no wings.
“Hellooo,” Mel calls out. “You here, missy moo? Or is that sparkling Lexus property of the mafia?”
“Mafia?” I snort, stepping out of my bedroom and walking into the hall. “Turn it up, crazy head.”
“So it’s yours?” she laughs, tossing her purse across the counter, eyes firmly glued to her mail.
“It’s all mine, babe, and you’re welcome to check the trunk if you don’t believe me,” I giggle.
“Holy shit—your face!” Mel squawks as she glances up, immediately rushing over to me.
“Please, don’t hug me so hard,” I wince. “It’s not as bad as it looks, promise. You know what I’m like. I bruise like a peach.”
“And your wrists?” Her mouth drops open. “What did he do to you? We have to call the police.”
“No one will be doing that.”
“Laura, he bashed you up.”
I shake my head. “I was drunk. We started drinking, and I walked into a door on the way into the hotel. It was a stupid mistake.”
“Don’t even try to say that’s what happened.”
“I - I did,” I stammer, not wanting to meet her eyes. “That’s what happened.”
“And what? He just gave you the Lexus?”
I shrug. “Guess so. He never liked my submarine; it’s a deathtrap.”
She crosses her arms. “And what? He’s not?”
“Mel,” I chew at the edge of my fingernail. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“And what the fuck is that?”
Mel swears more than me, sure. But not just out of the blue. And right now, she’s being so pissy I’m starting to think that living at the airport wouldn’t be such a bad option after all.
“Well?”
I exhale. “What are you talking about? Why are you getting so shitty with me?”
“That!” She frowns pointing at my newly acquired ring.
“Oh,” I mumble, “yeah.”
“What’s it doing on your hand?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth.”
/> “He still wants to marry me, Mel. He um … he got me a new ring.”
She snorts. “Hah! As if the last one wasn’t big enough. Looks like he’s trying to make up for something else.”
“Shush.” I smirk. “I’m not talking to you about his dick.”
“Can we talk about what a dick he is?”
I frown. “No. Can’t do that either.”
“I’m sorry for swearing, but you’re not gonna marry him, are you? Not after all this. You’d have to be off your rocker.”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.”
“So why are you wearing his ring?”
I can’t look at her. “It’s pretty,” I mumble. “And I didn’t want to lose it.”
“How can you forgive him after all he put you through, not even mentioning last night. HOW?”
I shrug. “Maybe I overreacted?”
“Overreacted?”
Knock. Knock.
My lips pull into a smile. Whoever it is couldn’t have timed it better. “Are you going to get that?”
“Don’t think I’m not going to come straight back to what we’re talking about.”
“Yes, Mom,” I giggle.
Knock. Knock. “Laura?” a deep voice calls out.
“Shit, it’s for you.” Mel whispers, her eyes as large as bagels. “Do you want me to call the police? Or should we barricade the door?”
My heart is racing but not from fear. I can’t do this right now. I can’t see him like this. “Can you get that for me, please?”
“But what if it’s Hugo?” she squeaks, clutching onto my arm.
“You say ‘Hugo’ like he’s an axe murderer.” I roll my eyes. “It won’t be Hugo. I was only talking to him a moment ago, and he’s back home. Just, please, can you get that? I’ll be in the den.”
“You mean hiding in the den?”
“Yes, hiding in the den,” I giggle.
“Are you sure you don’t want to get it?”
I shake my head. “We both know who it is, and I’m sorry, but I’m just not ready to see him yet.”
“Okay,” she exhales, shuffling to the door. “You hide.”
“Hey, you must be Mel.”
Fudge, I so wasn’t ready to see him again. If just his voice is making me want to hump the wall, I definitely need more time.
“Oh, um, hey,” she giggles, “yeah, that’s me.”
Great, now she’s getting all hot and bothered. She’s such a flirt. It’s almost embarrassing when she wants someone. And with her figure and looks, nine times out of ten, she gets exactly what she wants. Whore.
“We haven’t met, but my name is Ash—Tom Ashton. I go to school with your roommate, Laura. We went out over the weekend.”
She giggles again. “I know who you are, Mr. Ashton, and may I just say, enchanté.”
What the—? Now she’s French? That’s the last time I ask her to answer the door for any guy who comes to see me.
“Is everything okay with Ra?”
She looks back over her shoulder, her pouty red lips pulling into a straight line. “Ah, yeah, I guess so. Why, handsome? Is there a problem I can help with?”
“Well, I’ve been trying to contact her, but she hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts.”
“Maybe she’s out of minutes,” she giggles.
“Well, she wasn’t in class today either, so that’s when I knew something had to be up ‘cause I don’t think she’d ever miss a class.”
She pulls a face. “Oh.”
“Is she here?”
Mel looks back over her shoulder, and I shake my head. “Um … no. I’m sorry, she just popped out.”
“Do you know when she’ll be back?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t.”
“But you’ve seen her since yesterday? She was home?”
“Yes,” she nods. “I was talking with her just a few minutes ago.”
“And she’s okay?”
She shrugs. “I guess so; she’s hard to read.”
He laughs. “You’re joking, right? I don’t think she’d win an Oscar for her acting.”
“Maybe not around you,” she laughs, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. “And I can see why.”
“Can you tell her I stopped by?”
“I’ll do that, sweet cheeks.”
“It was nice meeting you.”
“Likewise,” she giggles, closing the door.
I frown. Mel has never been subtle.
“He’s gone.” She sighs dramatically, leaning her back against the door. “I wish he wasn’t, but he is.”
I shake my head. “You know I love you, but man, you’re dodgy. I can’t believe you called him sweet cheeks.”
“Excuse me?” she laughs. “You were the one who wanted me to get it.”
“I meant get the door, not him.”
“Oh.” She laughs. “I see. My mistake.”
“Well, thanks anyway.” I whisper. “I just couldn’t face him today.”
“Why are you doing this? Have you forgotten how gorgeous he is? Don’t you remember how happy you were when you got home yesterday afternoon? You were in tears, you know—and not crazy tears but happy tears.”
“It was just adrenalin.”
“Oh, ass!” she fumes.
I shrug. “I dunno. I guess I was confused.”
“Confused? You didn’t seem that way to me.”
“I wasn’t thinking, Mel. You know how much I went through with Hugo. He was my life up until I came here.”
“But isn’t that why you came here? To discover something new about yourself?”
“I moved away because I was too devastated to stay.”
“But none of that has changed. He still cheated on you.”
“People make mistakes.”
“What about what he did to us yesterday? Weren’t you scared?”
Scared? More like petrified. But for some stupid reason, I shrug like it’s no big deal. “If I had gone with him from the beginning, he wouldn’t have acted like that. He had no other choice. I already told you that.”
“No other choice?” She shoves my shoulder. “Shit, Laura! Have you seen yourself? He really messed you up.”
I thought she understood me, but hearing her go on like this reminds me how different our worlds are. She doesn’t understand what I’m going through. She doesn’t get any of this. Unlike mine, her parents are rich. And she certainly didn’t grow up moving from one foster home to the next. She’s got no idea about anything.
Great. Now she’s tapping her foot at me like I owe her some sort of explanation. I throw my arms in the air. “Mel, just stop it, will you? Nothing I say is going to make things better. I know you think Smit’s the bad guy. You always have. You told me you never liked him. So how am I going to convince you otherwise when you’ve already made up your mind?”
“I know you, babe, and I know how happy you were when you were with Ash. Plus, in case you’ve forgotten, he’s a freaking god.”
I look down at the engagement ring on my finger, watching as the diamond catches the light. “I’m really tired. I just want a shower, and then I’m going to bed.”
“When are you going back to class?”
“When my face settles down a bit, I guess. Makeup can only hide so much.”
“Laura …” Awesome. Now Mel’s eyes are filling with tears. “You know how much I love you, right?”
I can’t look at her right now. If I do, I’ll start crying too.
“Do you?”
“Yes.” I exhale, lingering in the doorway of the bathroom.
“Well, why can’t you understand that Hugo’s love is not the sort of love you or any woman should be smothered with?”
I can’t take this right now. First the monkey, and now Mel. “I really wanted you to be my maid of honor, Mel …”
“But?”
“But if you can’t handle my relationship with Hugo, then I think it’s best if you don’t come to the wedding.
”
Her expression breaks my heart, but I ignore it.
“I drove back this morning because Hugo wanted me to. He knows marrying him is a big decision, and he didn’t want to rush me. If he was as controlling as you say he is, I would’ve been in the jet back home with him last night, after blowing him in his car, or I’d be dead in some gutter. But instead, he suggested I take as long as I need to think about it, and then whatever decision I come to—he will respect it.”
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