Another Shot At Love

by Roy, Niecey

  But it wasn’t Roxanna. The sight of Matt standing under the dim glow of my patio light, his hair soaked from the rain as he’d climbed the stairs out back, made my breath catch. His eyes gazed in at me intensely, dark and sexy, full of emotions I couldn’t read. I didn’t even try; I was through trying to understand men.

  I don’t know why I hesitated—it was rude—but I didn’t open the door right away. I just stared into his eyes through the glass. Maybe I was waiting for him to disappear. And then the rain started pouring again and snapped me out of my daze.

  I unlocked the door and slid it open so he could step inside. It was all I could do not to throw myself into his arms. But I didn’t. I helped him out of his wet jacket and busied myself with hanging it beside my jacket on the coat tree.

  “Gen,” he said, his tone hesitant.

  “Hi,” was all I could manage, still unable to look him in the eye. There was too much unsaid, too much tension and awkwardness now. After a moment of silence, I centered my attention on the wall clock over his shoulder, too afraid to look him in the eye, not certain I would like what I saw there. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

  He raked his hands through his hair. I was mesmerized at how black his hair was when wet and how the ends waved a little. If he grew his hair out he’d have curls.

  “I shouldn’t have taken off like that the other night. It was childish. I’m sorry.” The uncertainty in his voice was what finally forced me to look him in the eye. Worry creased his brow.

  “Matt, I knew what I was getting myself into. I didn’t want a relationship either. I get that you’re not ready, but…” I took a deep breath and shook my head. “Honestly, I’m not up for this. My relationship with Brent was horrible; at least, it ended badly. This one was over before it even started and it’s my fault for feeling more than either of us wants. You were right to leave.”

  I didn’t want to think of him as the kind of guy who ran when things got heavy. Wasn’t that how he’d explained his marriage to me? His ex-wife hadn’t been up for the grown up part of their relationship and now, with me, neither was he. I knew I wasn’t being fair, but I was still hurt. I turned to walk back to the patio door, hoping he’d go now because there really was nothing else to say. And my heart hurt.

  I felt stupid, and empty. And if I looked at him, I might cry.

  “No,” he said firmly, and spun me around by the shoulders to face him. He placed a finger to my lips before I could speak. “That’s what I’m trying to say—it wasn’t right for me to leave. I got…scared. Because this—” he gave my shoulders a little shake, “—us, this thing we have, it’s real. And you make me happier than I have been in years. I didn’t want to ruin things by moving forward too quickly. Losing you, Gen…I’m not okay with that.”

  My heart hammered in my chest.

  “I…okay.” I was stunned, and scared to answer. Yes, I was a coward, but I was too afraid to say anything that might change the way he felt, even if that fear was irrational as hell.

  “I don’t want to be your friend, Gen.”

  I swallowed and blinked at him. “You don’t?”

  “No.” He stared at our feet. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You have this beautiful soul, this heart that is so big. And you see me. I can’t keep pretending that what I feel for you is as simple as friendship. I want more. I want to date you, to kiss you in the grocery store line whenever I feel like it—and I always feel like it.” He laughed and the smile reached his eyes. “You’re nothing I was looking for, nothing I expected, but you are exactly what I want.”

  It was ridiculous how elated his words made me. Was this what soaring above the ground would feel like if I had my own wings? The immense relief was a testament to how far I’d fallen without realizing, without actually meaning to.

  My silence must have worried him. He said, “I know I wasn’t looking for a relationship when we met, and you were just looking for a date to your sister’s engagement party. But for me, that’s changed. If you’re not ready, I understand. I really, really don’t want what we have to end. I want you to be a part of my life.”

  I smiled, my heart caught in my throat as I touched his face, resting my fingers against the whisker-rough line of his jaw. “Ever since Brent, I haven’t been interested in dating. At all. And then I met you.”

  I dropped my hand to his shoulder and rested my thumb against his neck. “And now that you’re here…I just…I want you to stay.”

  And there was the lopsided smile and dimples I’d been scared I’d never see again. He reached for me. “Good. I was scared I’d lost you.”

  Funny, but that’s what I’d been worried about, too.

  And then he kissed me. I had to stand on my toes, my lips pressed hungrily against his. I didn’t want to come up for air, and when I grew lightheaded I realized I’d forgotten to breath. He ripped his lips away from mine and trailed kisses down to just under my ear.

  “Tell me to stop,” he whispered against my tingling skin and the sinewy muscles of his back tensed beneath my fingers. I opened my eyes and found him gazing at me with such intensity, I sucked in a breath. The need I felt was written in the taught lines of his face. “You should tell me to stop.”

  I shook my head and whispered, “I don’t want you to stop.”

  He swept me up into his arms and I clung to him as if letting go would destroy me. Maybe it would. I wasn’t interested in finding out. I kept my eyes closed until he set me down on my bed, the comforter and sheets still rumpled from the night before. He claimed my lips again and any doubts I’d had melted away. This was right. I felt it.

  I wouldn’t let this moment be wrong.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Our kisses grew urgent and my lips devoured his with a passion that took me by surprise. I couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t taste enough of him. When his hands grasped me by the hips and settled me down over his lap, I pressed into him so I could feel the evidence of his need against the thin cotton of panties under my dress. I moaned, but it sounded so distant; my ears were ringing.

  The sensitive flesh between my legs was already slick, the cotton rubbing against me had me near orgasm already and everything hummed.

  “Not yet,” I moaned, mostly to myself. I hadn’t felt a man’s touch in so long and my body took over. I needed to feel him inside of me and that need had me tearing at his clothes.

  He chuckled and covered my hands with his. “We have time.”

  Then he picked me up by the waist and laid me back onto the bed. I whimpered in protest, but he settled a moist kiss to my lips, silencing me. Soon, I was lost in the heat of his kisses before I realized my dress was gone. I lay in the dark in my bra and panties, shivering.

  His silhouette shifted in the dark of the room as he shed his own clothes. Though I wanted to see him, I was glad for the dark and the courage it gave me to reach for him, pulling him down so I could feel his bare skin against mine. Every muscle in his body was taut under my fingertips and the darkness allowed me to lose myself in the sensations; the anticipation of joining with him burned inside of me.

  “In the drawer,” I gasped against his lips and he understood, fumbling with the top drawer of the night stand. Normally, I might have been embarrassed at the prep work, because I’d bought the condoms with the intention of seducing him and now he knew that. But it also didn’t matter now, because he’d come to me, not the other way around. He wants me too, I thought and smiled.

  He tore open a wrapper and fumbled with it; he was just an outline in the dark.

  He leaned over me again and his fingers touched the insides of my thighs. When he lowered his face to my belly, I squirmed beneath him. I clenched my eyes shut with the first flick of his tongue against my stomach. My lips parted to pull in a gasp of air.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered against my flesh. His hands lifted my butt off the bed and his lips touched the cotton of my panties, kissing me through the material, nipping at the flesh beneath, and I
moaned.

  “Please, Matt.” I had to beg him; the waves of an orgasm were growing in intensity with each touch of his tongue through the wet material. He didn’t listen, though. Instead, he snagged the cotton aside with his thumb and placed his mouth against the center, rubbing his tongue against the sensitive nub, and I cried out.

  I almost blacked out at the waves of warmth that cascaded over me, through me, blanketing me in a fuzzy cocoon. I didn’t think anything could ever feel so good, until he was inside of me, so deep and so complete that all I could do was hang on because I was lost. Every thought was lost. All I knew for certain was the fireworks and heat, the feel of him sliding out before pushing deep inside again.

  The second orgasm was just as intense as the first one, but this time it left my whole body limp in his arms. I pressed my mouth against his shoulder as the sensations crashed into me, clinging to him as he lay spent on top of me.

  I was too weak even to smile. He shifted above me, capturing my lips in a gentle, passionate kiss that stole my breath. He moved his lips to kiss my nose before rolling over on his back and tugging me against his chest. “That painting…”

  “Yes?” I said and rested my cheek against his racing heart.

  “Thank you.”

  I closed my eyes and his heartbeat lulled me to sleep.

  Sometimes the morning after is awkward. It wasn’t with Matt, though. I stirred from a deep sleep, wholly aware of the man beside me, warm and firm. My body was still wrapped around his and, when I opened my eyes, I gazed upon his face, relaxed in sleep and breathtakingly beautiful. My palm on his chest rose and fell with every breath he took.

  With the morning light slivering through the curtain and slanting over the bed, my stomach fluttered. I breathed in the very male scent of him and my loins warmed with the memories from the night before. The way he’d touched me, kissed me—God, I’d been missing that my entire life. The man was perfection.

  He must have sensed me watching him because his arm closed around me, pulling me closer into his chest. He kissed the top of my head while I lay with my ear to his chest, listening to his heart beat at a lazier pace than mine.

  “You’re adorable when you sleep,” he murmured and I froze. He chuckled softly and ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

  “I…do?” I knew I did. Mostly, I did it when I was really tired. Or drunk. This time, it was because we hadn’t gone to sleep early—I hadn’t wanted him to stop kissing me. His lips were a miracle. And then I’d awoken in the middle of the night to feel those lips again, on my neck and, well, I spent the rest of the night naked.

  He rolled me over and slid his naked body down against mine. His lips brushed my nipple then flicked the tip with his tongue.

  “Yes, you do,” he said, then moved to the other breast.

  “What...did I...say.” I was panting now, and squirmed beneath him.

  “You said my name once, which was really, really adorable.” Matt’s mouth was now at my navel. There was no point in trying to force back the shivers that traveled down my spine, making my stomach muscles contract.

  “I did?” I wasn’t capable of embarrassment; my breathing was heavy and my head was swimming.

  “Yes. I liked it.”

  Now his lips were kissing my hip bone and I closed my eyes. “Good.”

  “I’m glad I came over last night,” he said.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting. His breath teased my inner thigh as he gently nudged my legs apart. My back arched under his touch, his kisses traveling higher on my thighs. “I’m glad you did too. I missed Roxanna’s party, though. She’s going to kill me.”

  “I don’t know what that means, but if Roxanna planned it, I’m sure she’ll never let you forget you missed it.”

  “I’m not worried about it right now,” I said, nearly panting. He grasped my thighs and his throbbing flesh slid into me.

  He leaned down as he drove deeper, whispering against my lips, “God, you’re beautiful.”

  I kept my eyes closed and reached for him.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “I can’t believe you didn’t come out last night.”

  I grasped Roxanna by the arm and yanked her into my cubicle. She teetered on her heels and held on to my shoulders to catch her balance.

  “What the hell,” Roxanna gasped.

  “Sorry,” I said and nudged her into the corner between my desk and the gray partition. “I need to tell you something.”

  I glanced around to see if anyone was watching and she tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned, she said with a grin, “You dirty, dirty girl. You had sex with him, didn’t you?”

  My eyes bulged and I covered her mouth with my hand. “Do you have to say it out loud? Jeez.”

  “I want all the details,” Roxanna insisted and took a seat on my desk. “All of them, especially since you missed the most interesting night of the year.”

  “Of the year?” I asked, doubtful. It was a dramatic statement, even for Roxanna.

  “Just tell me about your night and I’ll tell you about mine,” she said.

  So I did.

  “I knew this Matt-thingy would be good for you!” she said, and clapped her hands together. “And you talked about things, which is good. I know this is something you want, so I’m happy for you. Now, you have to tell your mother that your fake boyfriend is now your real boyfriend.”

  I winced. “Yeah…fun times.”

  “She won’t care. You’ll have a date to the wedding and it’s Matt, so she’ll be happy.” She studied my face with a smile. “He makes you all flustered.” Roxanna fanned herself and batted her eyes. “And all ooey-gooey lovey-dovey. I like him.”

  I let out a breath of air and fell back into my chair. “He makes me so happy. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling since I met him.”

  “Good,” Roxanna said. “You deserve to be happy. Now, here comes the biggest shocker of the month.” She gestured with a head nod and I tipped back in my seat just enough to peek my head into the aisle.

  I heard giggling first, and then Richard and Britney walked into view, his arm around her shoulders, hers around his waist, and something Richard whispered had Britney all moony-eyed. But that wasn’t what had my attention, even though it was a surprise. I was looking at a big, angry bruise over Richard’s swollen-shut eye.

  “Oh my God, Richard. What happened to your eye?!” I didn’t mean to sound so horrified, but I couldn’t help it, the words had spewed out of my mouth before I could get a handle on them.

  “Yeah, that’s what I was going to tell you about,” Roxanna said and stood. She went over to the couple in the aisle and touched the edge of the bruise. Richard squinted but held still.

  “Wow,” I breathed.

  “There was a crazy development over the course of Cheer-Britney-Up Night, ending with Richard rushing to the aide of his new lady friend.” Roxanna sounded like she was holding back laughter.

  Despite the swollen mess of angry purple and red, tinged with blue, Richard flashed a big grin and Britney stared up at him adoringly. “Oh, it’s nothing,” Richard said, beaming a smile at Britney. “I just couldn’t let that jerk get away with insulting Britney. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, even if it means kicking some ass.”

  He went to lean against the partition between Britney’s and Tricia’s desk, and Tricia jumped to her feet to yell, “Don’t lean against that!”

  He jerked away from it, but didn’t lose the smile. “I’m just sorry the night ended in violence.”

  I exchanged a glance with Roxanna, bubbling with laughter.

  Britney couldn’t take her eyes off her hero. “Richard was so brave!”

  “It was a good thing my cousin tagged along last night or Richard might be a little worse off today,” Roxanna whispered in my ear. “Some creep grabbed Britney’s ass and wouldn’t leave her alone. Richard got in one really bad swing before the guy landed a solid punc
h to his eye, and Leo had to hold the guy off because Richard was knocked unconscious for a few minutes.”

  Richard puffed out his chest and winked at Britney. “Pick you up for lunch, sweet cheeks.”

  “Sweet cheeks?” I whispered to Roxanna.

  But Richard didn’t leave. He sauntered over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I hope you don’t mind me dating other people. I know we said we’d be friends,” and Richard threw up finger quotes, “but I think it’s best for both of us to just move on.”

  Roxanna snickered from behind me, but I ignored her. I nodded at Richard and managed to keep a straight face. “Of course, Richard. Sounds great. Britney’s awesome. Good…luck.”

  When he was gone, Britney gave me a look of concern. “I hope you don’t mind, Gen. I don’t want to make you jealous or hurt your feelings.”

  “Of course not! I’m so happy for the two of you,” I insisted.

  “Oh good.” Britney’s smile was illuminating. “He’s just so macho.”

  Hmm. I pursed my lips together, but didn’t say anything. I supposed macho meant different things to different people.

  “Hey, have you talked to your sister?”

  I turned to find Roxanna scrolling through my cell phone messages. I took it from her hands and said, “No. Why?”

  Roxanna shrugged. “No reason. Just wondering what Lexie and Leo’s little chat was about. She left all flustered and fuming.”

  “Wait, Lexie was out with you last night? She told me she had some fancy dinner with Jeremy’s parents.” I frowned.

  “She met up with us late last night then stayed at my place. I figured she and Jeremy had a fight. She told me not to tell you though, so don’t tell her you heard it from me.”

  That didn’t sound good. It sounded even worse if she hadn’t wanted to talk to me about it. I sat down in my chair and Roxanna went back to her cubicle. After a minute, I peeked above the partition and said, “So, she was with Leo last night?”