When I'm Gone_A heart-wrenching romance story that will make you believe in true love

by Jaxson Kidman

  Chris wasn’t done just yet though.

  He kissed my neck, instantly sucking hard.

  I crunched my shoulder up and pushed at him.

  “Whoa. Hey. Wait a second.”

  Chris backed away a few inches. “What’s wrong?”

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Making you feel good,” he said. “Don’t fight it.”

  He pushed at me again, trying to kiss me.

  I turned my head one more time and he slurped against my cheek and down to my neck again.

  I was so caught off guard, I froze for a couple of seconds.

  His hands were next to make an intrusive stance, touching my hips, pulling at me. He thrust at me, then began to rub himself against my leg. I could feel him getting hard. I twisted my leg and lifted it a little as a warning. I didn’t exactly want to knee him in the balls unless I had to.

  Maybe he was just drunk. Maybe I gave off the wrong signals.

  But this was not happening out on a fire escape.

  No way in hell.

  Chris slid both hands up over my shirt and touched my chest.

  I pushed at him, moving him enough so that I could slip away.

  He moved really fast though. A second later, he had me pinned against the building. His hands took hold of mine.

  “Hey, relax a little,” he said with his beer laced breath. “Fuck, woman, just relax.”

  “Get away from me,” I said. “I’m telling you no. Fucking hell no.”

  “I like it when you talk like that,” he whispered. “Be rough. Scream. Beg me to stop.”

  My entire body shivered with an intense fear.

  Chris pressed himself against me again. Rubbing himself up and down against me, dry humping me. He kissed my mouth, even though I didn’t kiss him back. He kissed down to my neck. I threw my shoulder and hit him hard. Hard enough that he stumbled back. I watched his hand as it flew toward my face. My brain wanted to scream at the fact that some strange guy was about to punch me. My instincts kicked in and I hurried out of the way. Chris punched the brick exterior of the apartment.

  “Fuck!” he screamed. “You fucking bitch.”

  I dove at the open window and went face first onto the floor. I rolled and scrambled to my feet.

  I called for help, but saw that the bedroom door was shut.

  My body was in some kind of shock. The room felt like it was closing in on me.

  I got to my feet and made it to the door. I ripped it open and shut it behind me. I needed to give myself a chance to breathe and run. As I walked forward, I looked over my shoulder and shook my head.

  That guy was just messing around, right?

  I wanted to believe that, but I didn’t.

  When I got down the narrow hallway, I saw that the apartment door was open and more people were coming inside. What had been around ten people was now probably twenty, with more showing up.

  “Shit,” I whispered.

  I looked around, wanting to find Lexi and tell her I was leaving. I wanted to tell her about Chris and that he was a total asshole. But I couldn’t find her. For all I knew, she could have taken Chris’s friend into the bathroom for a little fun.

  “Great,” I said.

  I pushed by a couple of people and worked my way to the door.

  My new plan now was to get out of there and go home. My heart started to jump a little, fearing that Chris might do the same thing to another woman. Worse yet, what if someone had a few too many drinks and couldn’t defend themselves. My head spun with thoughts and it seemed that there was no easy or logical resolution here.

  I paused just outside the apartment and turned around.

  It wasn’t even a second before I saw someone appear way too close for comfort.

  It was Chris.

  He was coming toward me.

  And he looked really freaking mad.

  Chapter Nine

  The Things You Find at Night

  Kace

  “You dig the new place or what?”

  I turned, holding a beer bottle at my side, scanning the open plan apartment and looked right at Mack. “Did you just say dig?”

  “As in like,” he said. “Do you like the new place?”

  “Don’t ever say dig. And why are you wearing sunglasses again?”

  Mack took the sunglasses off. “Man, can you just take this in for a second? I got a hell of a deal on the entire building. This is happening, Kace. I’m going to redo this entire building and rent out the apartments. Then go to the next and the next. Completely update this entire area down here.”

  “Ah, come on, Mack, the shit hole isn’t that bad.”

  “I thought it was called the ass hole,” Mack said. “Since it’s the end of the town, where everything flows and rests.”

  I smiled. “I think every generation of kids calls this place something new.”

  “Except the ones who had to live here,” Mack said with a frown.

  “We all lived through it in some form,” I said.

  “I grew up three blocks from here.”

  “I know that.”

  “You grew up west of here.”

  “Still my own version of a shit hole,” I said. “Do you want to debate who had a crappier childhood? Or should we drink these beers and celebrate a little?”

  “Right,” Mack said.

  The apartment was a dump, but it fit Mack perfectly. It was a lot of work and he liked a lot of work. I kept looking around, making my own mental list of things I would do if the place was mine. The walls were beaten up, but could easily be saved. The floors needed to be sanded down and refinished, but they looked to be the original wood from when the building was built. The electric was a mess of wires, but it gave the place serious character. Of course, everything would have to be done up to code so nobody zapped his ass.

  I heard a thud and a scratching sound.

  I looked to my right and saw Mack sliding a box toward me.

  “Have a seat,” he said.

  “Does it recline?”

  “Yeah, sure,” he said. “You can fall on your ass to the floor then.”

  “What’s in here?” I asked.

  “Stuff,” Mack said. “You won’t break anything. Sit down.”

  I sat down and Mack slid another box across from me. He sat and twisted the cap off his beer.

  “Hey,” I said. “Cheers, man. This place is nice. I dig it.”

  Mack laughed. “I knew you would.” We clanked bottles and took a drink. “That’s why I want this to be our project.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “You’re looking at this place the way I look at the new bartender over at Archie’s.”

  “Shame about Jane, huh?”

  “I’m just glad it wasn’t me that got her pregnant,” Mack said. “But if she’s happy somewhere else with someone else, so be it. I’m not losing sleep over it. And the new bartender is… damn.”

  “Eve?” I said, raising my eyebrow.

  “Yeah. That’s a great name.”

  “It’s not bad.”

  “Why aren’t you all over it? A little rebound action is a good thing.”

  “I’m good where I am.”

  “Are you?” Mack asked. “I still don’t understand what happened there. One second you were talking about some woman jumping off a building. Then you’re going out with Kylie. I think she was cool as hell, Kace.”

  “She was,” I said. “Kylie’s amazing.”

  “What happened?”

  I ran it all through my mind and looked around the empty apartment again.

  “You’re not going to be able to put much on these walls,” I said, blatantly avoiding the subject. “These walls are really nice. No band and movies posters, Mack.”

  “I’m not twelve years old,” he said. “Back on topic, man. What happened with Kylie?”

  “She fell for me too hard.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “She was falling in love w
ith me. I wasn’t falling in love with her.”

  “Oh. Damn.”

  “Yeah. I figured it was easier to just end it before things got too crazy.”

  “Did you tell her what you just told me?”

  “I said what I said.”

  “So you didn’t. You came up with an excuse.”

  “Look, I did what was right. She might be hurt now, but it’ll pass. Better than leading her on and having things get worse.”

  Mack nodded. “Can I ask why though? I mean… why not love her?”

  “You feel what you feel.”

  “She was really cool though. Perfect for you. She understood what you did. She enjoyed it.”

  “I get that. It’s not about having things in common. Just let it go, Mack.”

  “All I’m going to say is that I haven’t seen you take on any restoration projects in a while. I won’t lie, I don’t mind having you help me with my work. I get jobs done quicker and get to make more by taking more work. But you seem way off, man. I figure as your best friend, I should ask about it.”

  I stood up. “That’s where you went wrong. You’re not my best friend. And if you bought this dump of a building to get me to fix it up, then you might be in love with me. Which is a little weird to me.”

  “Fuck you, man,” Mack said.

  “Thanks for the beer,” I said.

  I started to walk away and stopped after a few seconds. My eyes wouldn’t stop searching the apartment for work that needed to be done. The place was so stripped down that it actually worked to its benefit. So much of the original structure was showing, it was a dream for a guy like me.

  “You really bought this entire building?” I asked.

  “Yup,” Mack said.

  “You’re fucking insane.”

  “Yup.”

  “This is like the time you agreed to fight Mike. Remember that?”

  “Yup,” Mack said again.

  I looked over my shoulder. “You took on the high school quarterback when you were a freshman. You told the school that he had a small dick.”

  “Yup,” Mack said and slowly stood up. “He fucked the girl I was trying to get with. It pissed me off.”

  “He was going to pound you into the mud that day,” I said. “And you stood toe to toe with him. He had fifty pounds on you. Six inches in height. And you folded up your dumbass glasses and handed them to someone to hold. And you stood there, squinting, fighting him.”

  “Yup.”

  I shook my head. “And I had to come in and finish the fight. I knocked his ass out with two punches and became a hero.”

  Mack opened his mouth and I put my hand up. He didn’t say yup. He just smiled.

  “You’re like a pain in the ass little brother, you know that?”

  Mack didn’t respond. He just stood there and stared at me.

  “If I don’t help you, you’re going to do all of this yourself,” I said. “You’re going to update shit. You’re going to make it look new and modern.”

  Mack slowly nodded.

  “Then I’m going to have to kill you,” I said.

  Mack kept nodding.

  I put the beer bottle to my lips and downed the entire thing. I crouched and put the bottle on the floor. I rubbed my jaw and let out a long sigh.

  “There’s something I can’t really explain right now, Mack. Something I don’t want to explain. I don’t need anyone looking after me and doing favors for me. But if you need my help with this place, I’ll help. I’m not doing it because you bought this place like a damn moron. I’m not going to go into business with you either. This was a terrible idea, Mack.”

  “But you’re going to bail my ass out,” he said.

  “Yeah, I am. Right now, I’m going to leave. I’ll go home and think of some ideas for this place. Come up with a plan and a budget. Sorry we didn’t kill off the rest of the beer.”

  “Oh, that?” he asked, thumbing back to the twelve pack he brought with him. “That wasn’t for you.”

  “What?”

  “I gave you a beer out of pity.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Eve has the night off,” Mack said with a grin. “I told her I’m a real estate developer.”

  “Christ, that’s a stretch.”

  “Is it? I own this building. I’m developing it. And my plan is to buy more buildings.”

  I laughed. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”

  “I do. Get the hell out of here. I’ve got plans. Figured I would show you the place and get you all horny for it. Then send you home.”

  “Maybe I’ll catch Eve in the hallway on my way out. Tell her you just bought the place, but I’m the one making it beautiful like her.”

  “Oh, damn, that’s smooth,” Mack said. “Tell you what… you have the balls to do that, you can have Eve. I’ll drink myself stupid and wake up tomorrow alone.”

  “So, just a regular night for you then?”

  Mack lifted his middle finger.

  I laughed.

  “I’ll talk to you later, Mack. You’re a damn idiot for buying this place.”

  “Yup,” Mack called out as I walked to the door.

  I didn’t see Eve in the hallway or outside when I exited the building. I looked back at the building.

  I laughed.

  I looked at my truck.

  I didn’t want to go home yet.

  I didn’t want to go to Archie’s place either.

  Truthfully, I didn’t know what the hell I wanted to do.

  So I decided to go for a walk.

  In the worst part of town.

  I wasn’t going to look for trouble, even though I knew it was out there waiting.

  I walked with my head down as I did everything possible to just clear my head. Believe me, I wasn’t beyond feeling actual emotions when it came to what happened with Kylie. That conversation wasn’t the easiest I’ve had to have. Especially considering that she had been cooking food and just got done giving me a random present. But I couldn’t let it keep happening though. It made me a complete asshole, but it was far better than letting it continue for months and years before things imploded. The worst thing I could do to someone is waste their time. A heart would heal with time, but time would never come back. Somedays you can sit there and think about those times when your heart was broken, but it would hurt more to think about the time wasted. The way Kylie looked at me, touched me, wanted to be with me… it was far more intense than what I wanted from her and what I felt for her. Yet it still threw me for a loop.

  But if I had to be honest to the footsteps on the sidewalk and eerily quiet night, none of it had a thing to do with Kylie. She was a time filler and that was a mistake. I never admitted that to her though. That was for my heart’s safe keeping in the black box of dumb shit I had done in my life.

  What got me worse though was that people were noticing something was wrong with me. Call it a funk. Call it whatever you wanted. For me, it was unanswered questions that never seem to fade.

  I paused at a street corner and looked up to the soft light.

  The night was cool and very comfortable. I felt like I could just walk all night. Which wasn’t the worst idea I’d ever had. Maybe that would help me out a little. Just walk until I was so physically tired that I would sleep for a couple of days and wake up feeling refreshed. As though I hit a massive reset button.

  I turned to reverse my path, knowing that going home to down a few drinks and let my brain swirl with mushy thoughts was more realistic than walking all night.

  That’s when I heard a noise.

  It was a soft noise. An echoing sound coming from down the street a little.

  I paused and waited a few seconds until I heard it again.

  I turned and walked down the sidewalk, trying to follow the noise. I heard what sounded like a grunt and I paused one more time. For a second, it sort of sounded like two people were enjoying each other’s company. But then came the sound of a scream. It
was a quick scream and I swore I heard the word help being yelled.

  So I started to run. If I caught two people going at it in an alley, then so be it.

  There was a small opening between two buildings, just enough space for people to walk through.

  I heard the echoing of shoes scuffling and what sounded like a struggle.

  I gritted my teeth, not really sure what I was stepping into. This wasn’t exactly the best part of town to try and be a hero in. I’d more than likely end up with a bullet in my gut and be on the six o’clock news for ten minutes.

  “Shit,” I whispered as I turned at the opening.

  I stuck my hand into my pocket and thought about taking my phone out and trying to play it off as a gun. Of course, if someone pointed a real gun at me and was trigger happy, I was fucked.

  What I saw, I did not expect at all.

  It was a guy with his legs spread, holding his forearm against a woman’s chest. His hand covered her mouth, his fingers squeezing against her cheeks to keep her from screaming. Truthfully, that’s all I needed to see to take my hand out of my pocket and go into attack mode.

  I charged with fury, my right hand already balled up into a fist.

  I got close enough to throw a punch.

  I hit the guy as hard as I could, sending him away from the woman he was attacking. I put my back to her to keep her shielded. I grabbed his shirt before he fell to the ground. I swung him to my left, sending him flying. He stumbled and crashed to his knees. I realized then that his fucking pants were down at his knees.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I yelled. “What the fuck were you doing?”

  The guy looked up at me, eyes wide with surprise.

  “I was with her,” he instantly shouted. “She wanted it.”

  Just hearing those three words broke me. It took me back to a dark place. A dark place that I swore I would never revisit again. But seeing this punk ass of a man on the ground with his pants halfway down…

  I grabbed him by the shirt and started to drag him. He kicked and screamed, throwing punches at me. I took the punches to the face like they were nothing but gnats tickling me in the sweltering heat of summer.