A Dream for Hannah (Hannah's Heart 1)

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “Good morning,” the man replied as he extended a muscular hand to Jake. “Are you open for tours?”

  “Certainly,” Jake said. “Would you like to climb the tower?” He wished intensely this guy’s daughter wasn’t with him. His day had just been ruined.

  “I do,” the man announced. “Anyone else up to climbing the tower?”

  Jake hoped they all would go and he could be away from her face and the intense look in her eyes. When she shook her head, he knew his wish wasn’t to be granted. She had decided to stay on the ground along with who must have been her sister and mother.

  Awkwardly Jake stood there, but they ignored him while they conversed among themselves. Her closeness and her indifference to him only added to his feelings of anger. From where he stood, he could see the side of her face. It had the same curve to it, the same outline of the lips, and the same long dark eyelashes. Only slight differences kept him from the obviously impossible conclusion that someone else had also left the Amish.

  Only he hadn’t left the Amish, Jake reminded himself. At least he hadn’t in his own mind. He was just trying to get away from the pain, not the life he once knew. In fact, the old life was what he really wanted—a life that had all come to a halt that Sunday evening when Eliza broke the news to him.

  In her father’s house, where they had sat on the couch so many times over the years, she had told him. Words were spoken while the gasoline lantern hissed near the ceiling. She had simply and without any expression of regret said that it was over.

  “But the wedding is in three months,” he had managed to get out of his parched throat.

  “I know,” she had said. “That’s why I am calling it off…while there is still time.”

  “But I thought we cared for each other,” Jake had said.

  “We do,” she said, still without any emotion, her eyes avoiding his now tearful ones, “just not in this way. I’m sure you will find someone else—someone better suited to you.”

  Later he was thankful he had had enough sense to leave when he did. He found his horse in the dark and drove his buggy out of her driveway without any lights on. It wasn’t until he was halfway home that he even noticed he had forgotten the lights. Two weeks later she dated his cousin for the first time.

  The tramp of feet interrupted Jake’s thoughts as the men descended the tower’s wooden stairs. “It’s a nice view,” the man announced to the women.

  “We can see it from here,” his wife told him with a smile. “We’re perfectly alright.”

  As the group headed back down the trail, Jake noticed that one of the young men whom he had assumed was a brother took the girl’s hand in his in a clearly unbrotherly gesture.

  He glanced away from the sight. The hurt in his heart cut even deeper, and his anger smoldered against the unfairness of it all. I’ll never trust a girl like that again, he told himself. Never.

  Fourteen

  The next morning, Mr. Bowen insisted on leaving the Hutterite community early. Rising early, the travelers were able to eat breakfast at the eating house with the first round served to the men. Ham, bacon, eggs, and pancakes were all eaten at the long communal table. Hannah had never seen such a thing in all her life. Different, she thought, but she supposed it worked if you grew up with the custom.

  The sun came up as the van full of Amish passengers drove away from the colony. Billings was an hour away, and two hours beyond that, the mountains started. Hannah sat transfixed, watching the view through the windows of the van. The scenery was so different from Indiana. Mountain after mountain appeared from the flat country and faded away, and then more appeared even taller than the ones before.

  Sometime in the early afternoon, Mr. Bowen took the Thompson Falls exit off of the Interstate and drove up highway 200. From there they drove the west side of the Cabinet Mountains on highway 56 and arrived in Troy by four thirty.

  “Do you have the directions to your aunt’s place?” Mr. Bowen asked Hannah as he pulled to a stop in front of the town hall. Its gray stone front was offset by the colors of the American and Montana state flags flapping in the breeze on a tall flagpole.

  “Yes,” Hannah said as she handed the paper to him.

  Mr. Bowen studied the directions and then proceeded north out of town. A mile or so later, he turned into a driveway and past a mailbox fashioned like a mini log home with Mast printed plainly on the top.

  The house looked rustic with its unpainted, rough-sawn log siding. The barn had the same kind of siding. Two horses stood at the rail fence nearby.

  Hannah wasn’t sure this was her aunt’s home. She hesitated, and Mr. Bowen asked her, “Do you think it’s the right place?”

  Alvin said, “There are no electric or phone lines around. It could be the right place…unless the English live rough around here too.”

  “I doubt it,” Mr. Bowen ventured and said to Hannah, “Why don’t you go to the door and see if this is the right place.”

  Hannah climbed slowly out of the van. Once she was out of the van, the full smell and feel of this new land hit her. She could hear the rush of water flowing heavily and fast in the distance. Trees were everywhere. Through the branches were the outlines of mountains surrounding her on all sides. Timidly she walked toward the house.

  To Hannah’s great relief, her Aunt Betty opened the door, just then, her white apron dusted with flour. “I thought I heard a van drive up, but with all the sounds around here, you can’t be sure. We’re so glad you’re finally here! Where are your bags, Hannah?”

  “In the van. We weren’t sure this was the right place.”

  “Oh, it surely is,” Betty said. “I know we don’t look like the Amish places back East. But this is the West, and things are a bit different. It took a little getting used to for me too. But we just love it now. Welcome to Montana.” Betty wrapped her arms around Hannah in a tight hug.

  Betty then approached the van and shook hands with all of the others in turn. “I’m so glad to see all of you. It seems as if it has been years since we’ve had visitors although I’m sure it hasn’t been. If you had the time, I would start with the questions now, but I guess they can wait till Sunday. I suppose everyone is in a hurry to get to their places so I won’t hold you up.”

  “Yes,” Mr. Bowen ventured, “I should get these people dropped off. It’s been a long trip for everybody.”

  “I suppose you’re exhausted yourself, having to drive so far,” Betty said.

  “I am,” Mr. Bowen agreed, “although today’s drive wasn’t quite as long as yesterday’s.”

  Naomi smiled from her seat in the second row. “He did real well. I haven’t had a better driver in a long time.”

  Mr. Bowen nodded his thanks.

  “Well, like I said,” Betty repeated, “you can tell me all the news on Sunday.”

  She turned to Hannah as the van pulled out and gushed, “So what do you think of the West?”

  “I haven’t had much time to think of anything else,” Hannah said. “It’s absolutely beautiful—so different.”

  “Do you think you’ll like it?” Betty asked without much apprehension in her voice and wrapped Hannah in another big hug. “It’s so good to have you here.”

  “I’m glad to be here. It’s so big…all around.” Hannah motioned with her hand.

  “That it is,” Betty agreed. “God must have really used His imagination when He made this country.”

  “You think so?” Hannah asked, stirred by the thought.

  “Yes,” Betty said confidently. “As I have said to Steve, the East is made for the practical people. You know, for the ones who make the money. It’s for those who keep the country running, but the West is made for people who dream.”

  Hannah gasped. “But I didn’t come out here to dream. I came to help you.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Betty said. “Now let’s show you your room, and then we can look at the horses. Supper is waiting to be made after that. Dreaming will be on your own time.”
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  Hannah frowned. “There won’t be much dreaming for me. I came out to get over dreaming. I want to be practical—to work and help you. That’s what I came for.”

  “There will be time for both,” Betty said as Hannah picked up her suitcase and followed Betty inside. “Now, let’s go inside, and you can see your Uncle Steve and your cousins.”

  Jake decided that it was time to update his folks on where he was. They had all gone to the Greyhound bus station to see him off, but he had been clear from the start that he didn’t know when he would be back or where he was going.

  He recalled his mother’s tearful final words to him, “Just stay in the Amish communities.”

  She would want to know by now what bishop he had reported to. The fact that he had not done so yet would not be welcome news, but there was still time to do something about that. Since he arrived he had learned of a small community of Amish in Troy, just west of Libby. He hadn’t yet made any attempt to join a church service—partly because of his job, but mostly because he didn’t want to be reminded of anything to do with Eliza.

  The gathering of his kind on a Sunday morning could bring back a rush of unwanted memories. He wanted to forget, but he also wanted to stay Amish. Jake wasn’t sure how to make that all work together. He had kept his Amish clothing but didn’t wear them on his job. He imagined that could be explained satisfactorily. Although as a member of the church, he might be required to make a “confession” because uniforms were not allowed by most bishops.

  Jake truly wasn’t sure if wearing his uniform crossed the line, but he considered a confession a serious matter, one that would require him to admit his error and beg forgiveness of God and the church. Afterward the church would take a vote. As grave as that might be, it would be much better than a “knee confession,” which was required for more serious offenses.

  Jake had been baptized in preparation for his wedding, and the thought of that now sent bitter feelings through him. Yet, it was time to let his parents hear from him.

  He got out his paper and pen and wrote.

  Dear Mom and Dad,

  I arrived in Montana and have been working for the Forest Service since then. The work is wonderful, and the scenery is beautiful all around here.

  His pen faltered. Did he have enough courage to tell them what they really wanted to know? He gripped the pen tightly and tried.

  There is an Amish community close by, but I haven’t been there yet. I have no plans to become English. Just thought I’d mention that. Please understand that I need some time alone. If Deacon Henry asks about me, you can tell him that.

  Again he paused and wondered if he had said enough. He decided he had not and continued to write.

  If I would decide to come home today, I would look exactly the same.

  Those were code words for his haircut, and they would know what he meant. Few identifying features are as guarded by Amish males as their haircuts. Clothing can be changed in a few minutes, but cut hair takes months to grow out.

  Thanks for your understanding on this matter. I will try to be at church at the Amish fellowship in Troy this Sunday.

  Then Jake signed his name, addressed the envelope, and dropped it into the outside box where it would be taken into Libby later and sent out in the mail.

  Hannah woke the first morning of her stay in the West and felt more rested than she had in a long time. It was still dark outside when Betty called from the bottom of the stairs, “Time to get up, Hannah.”

  She answered in a muffled voice and got dressed quickly. She had lit the kerosene lamp on the dresser in her room but noticed no light in the hall. She figured the light was supposed to stay in the room and so she blew it out and managed to find her way down the sawn-log stairway without tripping. Hannah opened the stair door into the living room and found it dark except for the light from a gas lantern hissing near the kitchen ceiling.

  “We get up early around here in the summertime,” Betty informed her from the kitchen. “Winter’s a little different. Now it’s breakfast at five thirty. Steve has to be up by dawn because his ride to his job on the mountain comes at six.”

  Hannah rubbed her eyes, washed her hands at the sink, and got busy without much instruction from Betty. Her mother’s sister seemed to have much of the same breakfast routine. Hannah cracked eggs into the pan on the stove and then flipped them at exactly the right time, which brought a look of admiration from Betty. “Your mother taught you well. She always was the best cook around the house.”

  “She tried,” Hannah acknowledged. “Well it looks like you’re learning,” Betty said as she lifted the bacon out of the pan. “As soon as it’s daylight, I’ll show you how we do the horseback riding. I’m sure you noticed the horses yesterday, but with the English riders, it’s a little different. You have to follow a set of rules with them in case of injury and such. We have to be careful.”

  Hannah nodded as she lifted the last of the eggs out of the frying pan.

  Steve came through the kitchen door and took a chair. “Breakfast smells good,” he said. “Good morning to you, Hannah.”

  “Good morning,” Hannah replied, realizing at once she was very glad she had come.

  “The children eat later,” Betty said. “Kendra is old enough to start getting up earlier, but I just haven’t started that yet.”

  “How old is she?” Hannah asked and searched her memory from the evening before. “Ten?”

  “Eleven,” Betty said. “She just turned eleven this month.”

  Steve glanced at Hannah from across the table. “You are about seventeen, aren’t you? Any boyfriends yet?”

  “Steve,” Betty said, scolding him, “don’t start that with her.”

  Neither of them noticed that Hannah had turned pale instead of the expected blush of red at the remark. They took her silence as a no. There was no boyfriend, and, of course, they knew nothing about Peter. Her mom wouldn’t have written such news.

  Steve chuckled. “We have several boys around here—all who are still single. There aren’t as many choices as there are back East, but, still, they are a bunch of decent fellows. What we really don’t have are many girls to select from. That’s always a serious problem for the boys, of course.”

  Betty finally noticed Hannah’s pale face. “Now look what you’ve done,” she said. “You’ve scared the girl with these stories of our savage boys.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, laughing. “I’m just trying to give her some warning. You don’t have to be scared, Hannah. Trust me. They don’t bite.”

  Hannah was unable to find words, and so she said nothing. In one way it was a relief to know her mom and dad had told no one about Peter. But in another way, a great loneliness rushed over her. She wished someone did know. She wouldn’t feel so alone then. Out here no one knew about Peter, the accident, or her guilt. Hannah pressed back the tears and decided it would be best to keep things so. She wanted a fresh start, after all.

  Fifteen

  By nine o’clock, two cars were already in the driveway.

  “Looks like you’ll have on-the-job training,” Betty told Hannah. “I had hoped to give you more instructions first, but you’ll just have to follow my lead now.”

  “I’m nervous,” Hannah said.

  “Don’t be,” Betty said. “It’s not really hard. You read them the rules, saddle the horses, give them a map of the land, see that they mount safely, and send them off.”

  “I’ll watch you,” Hannah said.

  “I’ll stick with you for a few mornings, and then I’m sure you’ll be fine on your own,” Betty assured her.

  With Hannah in tow, Betty headed for the barn. “Good morning,” she said cheerfully to the two couples getting out of their cars. “Ready for some horseback riding?”

  Everyone nodded and smiled.

  “Well, it’s first come, first served around here,” Betty said. “You let me know how many horses you want and for how long.”

  “They were here first,”
the couple in the jeep admitted. “We’ll see how long they take and then come back. There are things in town we can do.”

  “What are the rates?” the couple in the blue Mazda asked.

  Betty told them.

  “We’ll take an hour, then, with both horses.”

  “I’m so sorry, we only have two horses,” Betty told the other couple. “It takes fifteen minutes to saddle up and go over the basics, and then they take their hour.”

  “We’ll be back,” they said and headed back toward Troy.

  “Okay, now for you,” Betty told the other couple. “Let’s see. First here are the rules.” She rattled them off and asked about prior riding experience. Both claimed to have had some.

  Hannah watched closely as Betty saddled the horses, adjusted the stirrups to fit the man and the woman, and finally directed them to the trail toward the mountain.

  “We sure could use another set of horses,” Betty told Hannah as they watched the two go around the bend.

  As if to confirm her words, another vehicle pulled into the driveway. Hannah saw they were another young couple, this time with two children. When the man rolled down his window, Betty asked them, “Are you looking for horse rides?”

  “Yes,” the man said, “my wife and I were hoping to go riding. We also need a place for the children to stay for the time we’re out. An Amish riding stable seemed like just the place. We used to do a lot of riding before we were married. It brings back good memories for us both.”

  “We would be glad to accommodate you,” Betty said, “but we only have two horses, and they are both out at the moment.”

  “When is the next available time?” the man’s wife asked.

  “I don’t know for sure,” Betty told them with some hesitation. “We serve our customers in order on a first-come basis. The horses are already spoken for during the next hour. Then another couple has reserved them after that. I could take your names for after the second couple has finished.”