Preacher Man (Renegade Souls MC Romance Saga Book 2)

by V. Theia

And then Preacher sat on the opposite couch and watched her sleep. And did some thinking of his own.

  Only when she stirred two hours later, unfurling like a little kitten, he watched the planes of her face change, from relaxed and serene to that first gut punch of realization, everything coming back into her mind all at once, her brows dropped and she took a shuddered breath.

  He knew that feeling well. It would live with her every sleep for a long time. Every time she woke it would hit her all over again.

  “Hey, Beautiful, good nap?”

  Her eyes found him. Smiled. “Yeah. Was I out for long?”

  “You needed it.”

  “I need to get back to work.” She yawned, slipped her feet out of the blanket, rested them on the floor.

  “Otis understands. So, does Rider.”

  “I know, but I need something to do.”

  It was now or never.

  “Come and sit over here, Ruby. I want to talk to you about something.”

  “Oh?” Wary eyes.

  “It’s nothing bad.” He gestured her over with his hand and fuck him, she came right away, took his fingers, allowed him to pull her down onto his lap and she curled there right into his chest, causing a forest fire of feelings.

  “You know all the stuff Archie has talked to you about?”

  “About how my circumstances make it more difficult but not impossible, to gain custody of Seb?”

  “Yeah. Well, we … I have a solution or something that can’t hurt towards your case in getting him. And know, before I tell you, this is me wanting to help you, baby. I’ll do anything I can, you know that?”

  She smiled shyly, a look he’d rarely seen on her face, his Ruby was usually the confidence in the room, the smartass, and the snark-queen. He took her chin and tipped it up. “I think we should get married, Ruby.”

  The pin dropped and the noise was earthquake loud.

  She gaped at him like he was suddenly speaking a foreign language. Preacher smiled worried and kissed her nose. “This is what finally renders you mute?”

  “I. Well. I.”

  “All good choices, beautiful.” He laughed and felt better about it suddenly now he saw she was nervous as well.

  “You want to marry me?” Two slow blinks.

  “Yes.”

  “So, I can get custody of Seb?”

  She’d caught the gist, now he was just wanting his answer. Not how he thought his first proposal would go, no wonder Rider sweated bullets every time he asked his Zara. And at the last count around the clubhouse Rider was batting 0 for 5.

  Fuck. His pits began to sweat a little under his shirt, eyes tracking over her flawless face. She had her hair caught back in a pink tie-thingy today, he played with the ends draped over her shoulder. “Yes,” he answered finally, gruffness in his voice. Say yes, baby.

  “I can’t let you do that, Asher. I mean, really. That might be the biggest, sweetest nicest, thing anyone has ever offered me, and you’ve been amazing this week, so it’s really sweet------”

  “It has nothing to do with sweetness. I’m not that man.”

  “We’re not even----I mean, we’re not like-----”

  He laughed lightly. “Yeah, we are. We were a thing the moment your eyes met mine and we got on the same page, beautiful. Do you doubt it?”

  She answered instantly, her eyes dipping away from his. “No. But this is huge, fucking life changing huge. Marriage isn’t the same as fixing a car for someone.”

  She was incredibly cute. And the ring he’d had in his jeans pocket was burning a fucking hole for the last two days. He fished it out and held it up, the couple diamonds catching in the sunlight streaming in from the big window.

  “Yep. I got that, baby. It’s a commitment I want to take.” He knew he should say something fucking romantic, talk about love and life and forever. He was a dumbass, and proof he sucked at offering a woman more than a night together. “This will help get the kid. We’ll fix up the room upstairs for him, let the CPS see we have a home here for him.”

  “You want me to move in?” Her voice squeaked, she seemed more surprised about that than the ring she was gazing at.

  “It’s kinda a package deal. Marriage and living together might be weird as fuck if we live apart.” Lips twitched. “What do you say?”

  “It’s for Seb? Like a convenience thing?”

  And for us. For me. “Yeah, beautiful. The boy needs some good in his short life, you’re the good he needs. I want to help you.”

  “Oh…” She chewed on her lip, looked at him, looked at the ring, her eyes came back up and held his “Maybe after everything was settled we could just get a quickie divorce? I mean then you're not stuck with this for like forever...” Either her declaration or the way her butt shifted slightly to the left on his lap had his brain fucking exploding. He swallowed his immediate fuck no. He wanted Ruby. With every fucked-up part of himself, he wanted her, but she had to want him back, he wouldn’t force it on her, she’d come to that conclusion or she wouldn’t. Either way, he’d help her with the kid. He was already invested in Seb.

  “If that’s what you want. So, it’s a yes?”

  “Are you sure?” Another ass-wriggle, he clamped his free arm around her waist, or his cock would tunnel out of his pants and do the persuading for him.

  “I’m the one holding a diamond, beautiful.”

  “It’s gorgeous.” She smiled and touched a fingertip to it, gliding it over the glass and white gold band. Before she could say no he slid it on her finger. Perfect fit. There was no amount of noise in Preacher’s head, only this time it was the good kind, the nervous kind. His feet didn’t even itch to run.

  This felt right. Even though he was fucking it up, doing it for another reason, wanting to marry Ruby was just small details in the grand scheme of, he fucking wanted her, needed her, but bigger than that, he did want to help, he realized pretty damn quick that first time seeing the kid he’d do anything he could to see him living with Ruby.

  That meant living with him, too.

  Shit. He’d be living with a kid.

  He’d be dad material. Shane was laughing his ass off wherever he was.

  Fuck. Fuck. Holy shit. If anything could make his brain blast apart for real it was the thought of being responsible for another human being, the man who had insisted no kids for him, ever, was turning his life upside to get a kid.

  Those tables had not only turned, they’d flipped the hell over.

  He found himself smiling. Really smiling, when he'd internally calmed down.

  She was the reason. She was his reason. Leaning in he laid his lips on hers gently, felt hers tremble, he stroked the back of her neck, holding her firm and gentle, as he knew she would, she mewled against his mouth.

  “I need a yes, Ruby.”

  “Firstly. I’m not saying no, Asher,” she announced, a slight crack in her voice, her eyes had turned serious. “But before I give you an answer, you should know something. It’s not actually relevant to this situation, maybe, I don’t know. But in the face of full disclosure if we’re going to do this, I want to you to know, no secrets between us.”

  Okay. Maybe he wouldn’t tell her of the men he’d killed before, but he could agree to that. It seemed a very marriage-thing to do. This adult shit was easy.

  He smiled “Are you going to confess you’re really a man? Because I know my little darling, and she’s all pouty-female down there.” Ruby laughed, the first one he’d heard all week.

  “If only.” Moving off his lap she sat at his side, her legs curled up under her butt. “Do you remember last year, that night at the bar, you held a door open for me, and I bit your head off?”

  “I’m not likely to forget. I eye-fucked you all night.”

  “I know.” Her smile was gentle. The dark circles under her eyes making her no less stunning to Preacher. He caught her hand, held it in his, brushed his thumb against her knuckle. “I did a little of my own. But what I want to tell you is the reason behind
why I was such a bitch to you that night, why I was standoffish after that. Then you’ll know every part of me, dysfunctional family business and all. And then you can ask me again if you still want to marry me. To help me get Sebastian.” She rushed on to add.

  Preacher frowned again. Suddenly the air had changed between them, it swirled cold and dark like he was missing a piece of a puzzle he didn’t know he was playing with and Ruby was about to reveal that piece. He didn't know where it came from because he didn't fear much, but he had the queasy sense he wanted to tell her not to say whatever it was, not to have it between them. He bit his tongue and let her go on. But she had to know first.

  “Marrying me is all up to you, Ruby. Whatever you have to tell me, the offer is there, say yes now, and then tell me, it’s no reflection on what you have to share, I promise you that.”

  “No. I.” She took the biggest gulp of air and that gesture had Preacher troubled. He remembered that night at the bar well, she had angry flames spitting out of her eyes, and she’d never been more appealing to him, even as she’d fired venom at him, he’d been confused by it since they’d hardly exchanged a word let alone a bad word, he’d put it down to his reputation. He was guessing looking at her now it had nothing to do with that at all. “I feel like I need to tell you first, then you can decide.”

  “Okay, beautiful.” Watching her with unguarded anticipation he saw as shutters came down over her eyes, bare shoulders with the thin camisole straps stiffened, composing herself and she took a slow breath, let it out, and met his eyes.

  This was going to be something he did not like hearing.

  “About a week before that night I saw you … I was raped, Asher.”

  It was strange how a single word, a relatively small word could pack such a devastating punch to Preacher’s midsection. Winded, every bit of air vacating his fucking torso, he could only gape at her as she stared back at him. But then----

  “I think I was raped. I’m not even sure anymore.”

  And like her tear ducts had restocked, one slipped out of the corner of her eye.

  There was going to be worse things Preacher could envision, world disasters, atrocious deaths, vile terrorism, but in that slow sticky long minute of the words coming out of Ruby’s mouth and those same devastating words reaching his ears, registering the look of nausea and unhappiness in her features, he couldn’t think of a solitary event this miserable world had even witnessed that felt worse than this. His fingers clenched around hers.

  Someone had hurt his tiny dancer.

  Red hot anger began to boil in his sternum.

  Somewhere in the back of his brain, in the part that wasn’t planning a brutal murder of hunting down an animal, dragging him to the club’s slaughterhouse and cutting his dick off, he counted the months between that week and right this very second. He counted the days, added up the weeks … all this fucking time … air shuddered through him, his fingers tightened on hers.

  Foolish to ever think that it would be his PTSD that pushed Preacher over the edge of sanity, finally.

  As he listened to Ruby recount her ordeal, he swallowed reflexively. Deep breath and regroup. Knowing someone had hurt her was what was going to put him over the motherfucking edge.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  “Having a man like Preacher in my corner was the most epic and calming feeling of all.” - Ruby

  Her world shrank to a tiny pinpoint. This couch, her and him, she had no more room for anything else when her pulse was beating rapidly, a cold sludging beat. She had to push her grief aside, let it sit by itself for a minute, or she couldn’t get these awful words to come up her throat, to fall off her tongue, and she so wanted to unburden herself.

  He‘d asked to marry her.

  Who did that?

  Would a bad man do that? From all she once knew of the Renegade Souls men, their reputations heralding long before she’d met any of them, the very first night working at Otis' bar she was warned against getting too cozy with the Renegade Souls men, so would the concept of that man offer to marry her in order to gain custody of her nephew?

  It was wild. Unbelievable. A dream within her own nightmare.

  But Ruby had to deal with this first.

  Want was such a small word until it became important. Until it was every heartbeat and breath. Ruby wanted so little and so much at the same time. She wanted Preacher to believe her as she drove the words passed her lips, her eyes downcast and fingers clenched together on her lap. It felt like they were the only two people in the world. “I go on a yearly hike for a week, to regroup from the shit that is life, if only I could have gone to Bora Bora instead. I probably shouldn’t have gone last year, I could have used the money elsewhere, but I’d saved for it and said fuck it. The first night was as blissful as always. I hiked until my legs ached and then went back to the cabin ate hotdogs from the can and read an entire book. I was planning to do the same the next day when I came upon a guy needing help. He was injured. Stupid, right?” She looked at him. His green eyes boring into her face like he hadn’t taken a blink in the last five minutes. Please don’t think less of me.

  “You’re thinking abort, abort! Yeah? It's the classic movie with the stupid girl going down to the basement. That’s what I should have done as well, but I helped this guy. He seemed harmless enough. Another red flag I ignored. He was quiet most of the time, didn’t say much and then his fever set in and he was passed out.” The details kept coming, how she treated his leg wound that looked suspiciously like a bullet hole and then became scared as he warned her not to call for help.

  “I was planning to get rid of him. I just wanted my week to myself, I needed it so bad. Rita had been threatening to stop me seeing Seb and my uncle Silas was in one of his ‘Jesus will save us all’ phases, sitting outside grocery stores lecturing the damned. I needed that week alone. Be careful what you wish for.”

  “Beautiful.” His voice sounded like nails as he reached over, she didn’t know her hands were fisted until he took one, unfolded her fingers gently one at a time and slid their palms together, laced their fingers together. She grabbed on, her only lifeline, held tight, never letting go. “He didn’t hurt me.” she went on. “You expect rape to be brutal and violent. I didn’t even have a scratch and it’s not because I didn’t fight. I did, Preacher, I did I…”

  “Shhh, baby. I believe you.”

  “He was too heavy. I just couldn’t. But. But.” And this was where words got stuck right at the base of her throat, the part she didn’t want to tell him, because what did that make her, what would he think of her once he knew? Sicko. Disturbed. She started the deep breathing technique that was meant to help anxiety, she’d seen it once on an Oprah show years ago when her mom was high on drugs and she’d stayed home from school to take care of her. She didn’t feel any less calm and Preacher squeezed her fingers. She squeezed his back. “I didn’t want it, Preacher, I want you to understand. This man didn’t beat me or hurt me physically, he didn’t threaten my life, but I told him no, I told him no and to stop so many times, I was terrified. The --- the attack ---the fucker made my body enjoy it and I---- I… shit.” She wouldn’t cry, she’d done too much of that last year, this was recounting a memory, not to swim in its depths again and let it affect her sense of well-being, because if she let that in alongside her grief Ruby was afraid she wouldn’t resurface again and she had to be strong for Seb’s sake. “I hate myself most of all for that. I didn’t want it. Who does that.” The rhetorical question came out before she could stop it, not entirely sure she wanted an answer or an answer that would make her understand. The voice that came out of Ruby was unrecognizable. Brittle.

  “Who does what, Ruby? Survive? You. You fucking survived. Come here, you’re too fucking far away, I need you right fucking here.” When he threw so many fucking’s out she knew he was angry. The flash of green was lovely. His angry tone made her laugh and she let him haul her the two inches separating them onto his lap, his hand at the back of her ne
ck, the other brushing her hair from her face, tipping her chin up so she had no choice but to look into brilliant emerald.

  There was a moment of silence as she looked at Preacher and he looked at her. Those seconds ticking by.

  “What’s going on in that beautiful mind, Rube? You think I’m going to think less of you because a bastard took something from you and your body reacted? I’m so fucking glad you’re okay. So, fucking glad you’re here to tell me about it.” His forehead rested against hers. “I want to hurt anyone who has hurt you. I would kill that bastard if I could. Don’t for a second have guilt over this, you hearing me? This was not your choice, Ruby. You survived, that’s what matters. Don't you hate yourself for this, not when I think so fucking highly of you, I have it on good authority I have excellent taste.”

  How did he know the right things to say? She gave him a watery smile, clutched fingers in his chest and just left her forehead resting against his. She was glad to be alive and here with him too.

  But there was still more to tell.

  “I know who the guy is, Asher.”

  His head reared up. Eyes pin-sharp and deadly. So, lethal she sucked in her breath.

  “Who? Tell me who, Ruby.”

  “Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and saw the madness swirling in the depths of the irises? That’s how it was. I looked at the insanity that night. The devil smiled at me and said sweet things that chilled me to the bone. The funny thing is, if it can be called funny, I think he thought I was someone else. He kept calling me sweet love and asking if I’d missed him. I swear the second he was passed out again I took off and didn’t stop driving until I was home. And then I tried to forget about it until recently.”

  Something in Preacher’s gaze had changed. He’d turned from furious to downright sick, his face washed out. Her brow puckered as she went on. “Those wanted posters up all-around town. That’s the guy who...who raped me.” The tug of worry nibbling on her guts intensified when she felt him go unnaturally still, feeling as though he might need some space to process all this before he reconsidered his kind proposal she made to slip off his lap, only to have Preacher halt any movements, his big hands latched onto her thighs, eyes all over her face.