by Bonnie Vanak
It would be fine, he told himself, his confidence rising. He would not let them down.
Never.
* * *
She’d always admired him, but now Adrian’s clear leadership capabilities came to the forefront. Darcy gripped Nia’s hand as the Lupine struggled to deliver her child. Darcy fell silent, awed at how his commands made Nia focus even as she cried out, how cool and steady he seemed. And suddenly, his big hands held a furry, dark head that emerged from between Nia’s legs.
Fascinated, Darcy watched Adrian slide a tiny bluish form from Nia. A bloody wash of water spilled out, bathing his hands and the child. He massaged the newborn’s back, crooning to the squalling babe. A collective gasp rippled through the room.
Nia sagged against her mate, as Darcy felt an absurd urge to weep. She squeezed Nia’s arm instead and smiled. “You have a baby.”
“A strong, healthy girl.” Adrian looked up, the infant in his arms. To her surprise, moisture filled his eyes. “She’s beautiful.”
Life, in all its incredible, brutal and awesome force, had taken place before her. Darcy stared in marvel as Adrian handled the newborn with all the tenderness of a new mother. Then his usual aplomb returned as he tied string about the bluish-white cord winding from the baby to its mother. Adrian cut the cord, wiped the baby down, covered her in a warm blanket and handed her to Nia.
Darcy smiled through her tears. This was the most thoroughly unconventional, unpredictable and wonderful male she’d ever met.
Samantha rushed into the room with a middle-aged woman, who wore blue scrubs and carried a bag. “She’s here! Darius rushed out to get her. Her truck had a flat.”
“I’m so sorry, Aiden. I didn’t count on the storm, and oh my.” The woman beamed. “Good job.”
“Let’s give them some privacy,” Adrian suggested to Darcy.
They left the alpha pair with their friends and the midwife. Adrian hooked a right into a hallway bathroom. Blood from the birthing had splashed on his clean, white shirt. Leaving the door open, Adrian stripped off his bloody shirt. The taut flesh of his broad, naked shoulders captured her gaze. He bent over the sink, used water to scrub his hands and arms fiercely.
“You were magnificent,” she said softly, standing in the doorway.
Adrian stopped. Soap lather coated the dark hair on his arms as he braced himself over the basin. Beneath the smooth skin of his back, muscles rippled. Dark, fathomless eyes studied her with intensity.
“I was doing what I know how to do, Darcy. What any capable alpha would do for a woman in distress.”
Heaving a deep sigh, she stared at the black and white tiled floor. “You’re never going to forgive me for who I am.”
He finished washing. Drying his hands off on a clean, white towel, he gave an elegant shrug. “What’s there to forgive? It is what it is.”
“You bastard,” she whispered, backing away. “How can you be like this? You just delivered a baby, saved the mother and child, and you’re more frozen than winter. And I loved you. I guess love will never be enough for you, huh? No, you have to have perfect. Well, damn it to hell, Adrian, I’m not perfect, and I never will be!”
Darcy stormed away but not before she caught his look of loathing as he gazed into the mirror.
As if he’d seen into a glimpse of his soul and hadn’t liked what stared back at him.
What did it matter? The joy of watching a new life enter the world soured over her own personal fate.
She’d fallen for Adrian, for his wicked charm, his gentle side, and he turned out to be as cold and unforgiving as her family.
But Darcy knew she couldn’t keep wandering forever. She tired of the nomad life and, after the glimpse of hell she’d seen in the mine, knew she lacked the energy to keep fighting evil alone.
Her powers depleted, she wasn’t useful to the goddess anymore. Time to ask Danu to release her.
It stopped snowing, but a cold wind blew as she stepped out of the lodge’s back door and headed to a small copse of woods. Darcy huddled into her thick parka. Snow crunched beneath her boots. Sparkling icicles dangled from the fir limbs overhead, and she heard the scurrying of wild animals nearby.
After a few minutes, she found a clearing with a large ring of stones and the ashes of a bonfire. Wood seats ringed the fire pit.
Good of a place as any. Darcy knelt on the packed snow.
“Honored Danu, great goddess who created the race of OtherWorlders, I, your servant, Darcy Chambers, call upon you to beg a favor.”
A brilliant green flash filled the clearing. She knew, without looking, that the goddess stood before her.
Darcy lifted her troubled gaze to Danu’s serene visage, the lady’s thick, red hair tumbling down to her waist, her body clothed in a simple, green gown, her eyes like sparkling emeralds. So lovely. So capable of many things.
Can you give me my heart back? Or shut it away so it doesn’t hurt anymore?
“What do you wish, child?”
“I wish to be free of serving you as a Changeling Shifter.” Shame crept over her. “I lost my powers and my abilities to shift into other forms when I fought and killed Lars in the mine.”
“Are you certain this is what you wish?” Danu’s sweet, gentle voice reminded Darcy of wind chimes in a gentle breeze.
Being a Changeling had been a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it gave her freedom to be whatever she wished.
A curse because other shifters looked upon her with suspicion. She could never have friends, never join them because they didn’t trust her.
Darcy nodded. “If you will allow it, my lady.”
“Very well. You have served me faithfully, Darcy. You showed tremendous courage and strength in the mine. I now release you of any obligation of further assignments. I have provided money for you, enough for you to live on for many years, in your bank account. You are free to go wherever you want, do what you wish.”
Bowing her head, she felt the goddess lay a hand on her shoulder. Warmth tingled down her spine.
“Remember, Darcy, your heart will lead the way if you ever get lost.”
And then Danu vanished, as quickly as she’d arrived.
A lump clogged Darcy’s throat. She was free to do whatever she wanted. Go where she wanted.
Why, then, was she so miserable?
13
She’d left in the middle of the night, taking the rental car. Ever since meeting with the goddess, she’d managed to avoid anyone. Instead, she’d remained in the guest room they’d assigned her.
Avoiding the cheerful gathering at dinner had been awkward, but Samantha—sweet, considerate Samantha—brought a tray to her room.
Eating it felt like her last real meal. She’d gulped down the hot beef stew and the tea and then scribbled Adrian a note.
Took the rental. You can afford to borrow another. Goodbye. Have a nice life with your people.
Darcy departed the Mitchell Ranch and drove south, not knowing where she headed, only knowing she had to get out of the lodge, away from Adrian. Her backpack on the passenger seat floor, her heart heavy, she fled.
Thirty minutes on the road, she started realizing how stupid she’d been. The lightly falling snow had begun when she pulled out from the lodge driveway started to stream down in giant flakes, blowing in what promised to be a real Montana blizzard.
Not many provisions were in her pack, not even much cash. All her credit cards were locked away in a safe deposit box.
Danu had told her there was a good amount of money waiting for her in her bank account. But Darcy had only three twenty dollar bills on her right now.
Still, she knew why she ran.
Self-preservation. It wasn’t cowardly to leave and go off by herself and drive far away from Adrian and the Mitchell Ranch. Far as she could go, to put distance between herself and the only man she’d ever loved.
The goddess had granted her freedom, and she could do anything she wanted.
Go anywhere in the coun
try.
Why, then, was she crying? Darcy blinked fast, trying to clear her vision. Hard enough driving at night on this dark road. Exhaustion claimed every bone in her body. She had no idea where she was going, no idea where she’d live or what she’d do.
For the first time since she was sixteen years old, Darcy felt lost.
“Not fair,” she whispered, her white-knuckled hands gripping the steering wheel. “Why did I have to be attracted to you, Adrian? Why did you have to be so sexy and so nice? If you only stayed the arrogant asshole I thought you were and you didn’t show me what you’re really made of, I could walk away and never look back. I wanted to hold on to you and never let go, but no…”
Darcy pulled off the side of the road and shut off the engine, letting the tears freely spill.
“You let me go, Adrian. I’m a beautiful, intelligent person, and you couldn’t make room for me in your family, just like my family couldn’t make room for me because I didn’t fit in with them either.”
Scrubbing a fist against her eyes, she stared at the snow blowing against the windshield, dancing in the beams of her headlights.
“Will I ever fit in with anyone?”
The sobs poured out of her as she buried her face into her hands. And then, ever practical, she wiped her face and blew her nose on a handkerchief found in her backpack. It had monogramed initials—AW.
Adrian gave it to her on the airplane after she’d woken up. So stupid, weeping because of some silly dream she’d had of a perfect life, with a strong mate like Adrian and a house filled with kids, everything she hadn’t dared imagine could be hers.
He’d told her she was absolutely lovely and the linen handkerchief was a token.
If someone had asked her long ago what her heart’s desire was, she’d never have said love. Power, yes. Freedom, of course. But never love and settling down with one guy.
One very special alpha werewolf.
With a sound of disgust, she tossed the wet handkerchief aside. Shivering, she turned the key to start the car.
Nothing but a sputtering sound. Okay. Don’t panic.
Darcy tried the engine again. Snow billowed against the windshield and danced in the light of the headlights cutting through the thick darkness.
Headlights that would soon go out because she couldn’t start the car. It was dead.
Dear, sweet hellfire, she was stranded out here, on a dark country road, snow falling fast. So fast she could barely see the road. Darcy reached for her cell phone. Don’t panic. Maybe roadside assistant could come out this far…
No signal.
Now you can panic.
Oh god, she was so screwed. A bitter laugh escaped her. I’ve finally gained my freedom to go wherever I wish, and I’m going to freaking die on a lonely country road in Montana.
Terrific.
Her backpack had a warm change of clothing and a blanket. Darcy rummaged inside and pulled on an extra-large sweater that Adrian had worn and given to her. Who cared about memories of scent when you were freezing?
Darcy huddled into the sweater, inhaling Adrian’s fragrance, as tantalizing as cologne, as delicious as homemade cookies. She put her parka back on and then her wool hat.
The headlights on the car began to fade.
Battery was dying as well. Soon, she’d be stuck here, in a car without heat. In all her close escapes from death, she never imagined perishing like this.
Fighting a nasty creature from the underworld, yes. Dying from her own stupidity because she’d underestimated the harshness of this climate?
Well, no.
If only she had the energy to shift into a wolf with fur thick enough to withstand the cold, or a bird, and fly out of the storm. But she’d weakened herself in the mine. Nor had she consumed enough raw meat to turn into a wolf, as most Lupines did.
Nope. Here she was, stuck in a human skin suit.
Minutes passed. Not sure how many, because she was slowly sinking into a morass of pain and icy needles stabbing this too-frail skin. Eyes fluttering, she tried to stay awake. ‘Cause even a toddler knew that if you fell asleep in the cold, you would die.
Distant lights shone on the horizon behind her. She didn’t dare hope. Maybe a kind stranger would at least offer a ride.
And then a big pick-up truck rumbled by and pulled slightly ahead.
A tall man, dressed in a warm ski cap and a parka, jumped out of the back seat. He hurried to the passenger door, opened it and climbed inside.
“Hi,” he rumbled in a deep, sexy voice. He picked up her hands, tucking them beneath his armpits. Warmth slowly stole over her.
“H-hey,” she mumbled. “H-how d-did y-you f-find me?”
“I worried about you. We all did. When I saw the rental was missing, I asked Darius and Samantha to search for you. We tracked the GPS on your phone until we lost the signal.” Adrian inclined his head, where Darius and Samantha waited in the SUV. “Besides, there’s only one way back to the city, and this road is it. Come on back to the ranch, Darcy.”
Teeth chattering, she huddled deeper into her jacket, imprisoned by her hands beneath his armpits. Rescue by Adrian wasn’t on her Top Ten list. But it was better than freezing to death.
“O-only i-if y-ou r-ide in the t-truck’s bed. A-a-shole.”
Sheesh, sounding tough and uncaring was tough when your teeth clicked together.
“That’s Mr. Asshole to you,” he said, smiling, and then removed her hands. He wrapped the blanket he held around her shaking shoulders and softened his voice. “Please. We need to talk, and I’d hate to see that cute little ass of yours turn into a chunk of ice.”
Too numb—and hurting—to fight back, she sank into the blanket’s warmth. “T-he r-rental.”
“They’ll send someone for the car tomorrow, when the storm ends.”
After he rounded the car and opened her door, she leaned against him, letting Adrian help her out and into the back seat of the truck. A blast of toasty, warm air from the truck’s heater surrounded her. Moaning with pleasure, she huddled into the blanket.
Samantha turned around, passed her a mug of something hot and good. “Drink, honey. It’ll warm you from the inside.”
“And put hair on your chest,” Darius added, looking at her in the rearview mirror. “Just joking.”
“Ha,” she murmured, not caring, because she’d finally begun to feel her toes once more. Darcy drank. Coughed. Hot apple cider spiked with brandy. She drained the cup and Samantha took it from her.
Adrian climbed into the truck, tossing her backpack onto the floor. He shut the door and nodded at Darius. “Let’s go.”
All the way back to the ranch, she tried to ignore him. Impossible, because he sat close, loaning her his body heat, his arms wrapped around her much as the blanket. Maybe she had pride, but pride meant nothing compared to frostbite.
But after thirty minutes of feeling this wonderful warmth, all her numbness fled and she became aware again. Aware of the amazing aroma of him, the warm spices and hot male flesh. Adrian smelled like hot apple cider on a snowy night.
Aware of the wiry strength of his body, the ebony bristles on his chiseled jaw as she turned her face toward him.
Aware of the steady beat of his heart and the complex emotions he hid there.
The last made her finally pull away to protect her own heart. She had to hold it together here. Not let Darius and Samantha, nice as they were, hear her internal scream.
Why? Why? What’s wrong with me, Adrian?
Everything she worked her entire life to hold together threatened to fall apart if she released those feelings. Instead, she pulled the blanket around her shoulders once more. “I’m warm enough now. You can quit groping me.”
Soon as the words were out, she regretted them. Adrian had been a gentleman. Hurt flashed in his dark eyes, and then his expression smoothed out.
“Fine,” he said curtly and pulled away, pressing against the truck door.
The distance between their bodies exp
anded, and she felt cold and bereft once more. It felt almost as bad as when they’d first parted more than eight hours ago at the lodge.
Darcy opened her mouth to apologize. Closed it.
“Sure is cold in here,” Darius quipped, yanking up the heater.
Samantha and Darius began talking cheerfully about everything and nothing at the ranch, from the alpha pair’s new baby to repairs needed for the barn. Darcy scarcely heard the words for the blood rushing in her ears, the yearning pull she felt toward Adrian.
If only sex would suffice. But after making love with him, she knew it went beyond the physical. They might both lose interest in each other. That post mortem examination of their relationship would be simple and logical. But this bracing flurry of feelings, this crazed deep love, was neither.
Darcy felt like a chocolate addict craving her favorite sinfully delicious caramel dark that sat within tempting reach and yet wrapped in layers of steel she couldn’t undo. Mouthwatering cravings riddled her. Her fingers itched to unzip his parka, lift the cable-knit sweater and explore the play of muscles rippling under tanned flesh. Slide her hand up to his chest, toy with the dark, curly hairs there, maybe toy with each small, brown nipple and then slide down, dipping past the waistband of his jeans to cup his…
Blowing out a breath, she shrugged off the blanket. Fanned herself.
Adrian turned, his intent gaze capturing hers. “Oh?’“ he said softly.
That singular word told her that he knew everything through his wicked wolf’s sense of smell. Knew she’d recovered from her frozen apathy and felt a heat far different from the warmth blowing through the truck’s vents.
Knew her mind wanted to keep him at arm’s length but her body sang out to cuddle close—and do more than cuddle.
Grumbling, she turned her head to look out at the darkness rushing past them. It was going to be a very long drive back to the ranch.
When they finally reached the lodge, Darcy felt strong enough to bound up the stairs to her room. She closed the door.
Adrian opened it a minute later. Panting, he stared at her.