Shades of Truth

by Sandra Orchard

  “And you believe him?”

  “The story explains what you saw.”

  “Maybe too well. Aaron is the interim director of a youth detention facility. If his story’s true, he had a moral obligation to report the girl’s boyfriend to the police and present the drugs as evidence.”

  Kim chewed on her bottom lip. “Okay, I see your point. But if he’d reported the incident, none of the kids would confide in him again.”

  “And because he didn’t, her boyfriend could be Miller’s Bay’s next overdose victim.”

  Kim winced. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “Something to keep in mind when the board votes on whether to make Aaron’s appointment permanent. I doubt they want a director prone to such serious lapses in judgment.”

  She frowned.

  He let her stew on his remarks while he finished his coffee. “Was there anything else?”

  “Yeah, one thing.” Her expression changed. Her eyes lit with challenge. “About you.”

  His heart gave his ribs a hard kick. “Oh?”

  “Yes. If you expect me to help you, you can’t keep any more secrets from me.”

  “No problem, you figured out my one and only.”

  “I don’t think so. You’re hiding something else.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “You don’t strike me as the kind of person who’d be uneasy around someone simply because they’re handicapped.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You are around Joy.”

  His throat thickened. He shifted his attention to the water, but its pristine beauty only made the ugly memories surface faster. She’d bull’s-eyed his darkest secret. He crushed his coffee cup in his fist, tossed it into the trash and forced himself to face her. “Joy led me to the Lord. She’s very dear to me. I can’t imagine why you’d think otherwise.”

  “You went ashen at the mere mention of her name.”

  He buried his hands in his pockets, studied the ducks in the water. Okay, maybe a relationship with Kim wasn’t in his future, but why give her another reason not to want him?

  “Now you won’t even look at me. You listen to me, Ethan. I’m in the middle of this investigation whether either one of us likes it or not. And Joy is around my family every day at the hospital. If she has something to do with this case, I need to know.”

  He pulled his hands from his pockets, splayed his fingers over his thighs, and let out a sigh. “She doesn’t. Believe me.”

  Kim laid her hand on his arm. Her touch felt cool against his skin. Not unkind, but unrelenting. “When I told you I talked to Joy, you said she must’ve given me a thorough description of the accident. You meant Joy’s accident, didn’t you?”

  “This has nothing to do with my case. Joy has nothing to do with my case,” he growled, hating how callous he sounded. But he couldn’t tell her what he’d done. Something inside him wouldn’t let him feel even a whisper of hope that Kim could look at him without disgust if she knew the truth.

  “I’m beginning to suspect that Joy has something to do with every one of your cases,” Kim said softly.

  Ethan gritted his teeth and gave his head a hard shake. “Let’s just stick to this case. I’ve been down this road before. It’s not pretty.”

  “I work with young offenders. Not pretty is my specialty.”

  Ethan tried to unlock his clenched muscles, to relax his shoulders, to sit back on the bench rather than on the edge with his hands gripped on his knees.

  He’d almost succeeded until Kim coaxed him to meet her gaze. “I don’t understand why thinking about Joy bothers you so much. She told me that you helped her through a tough time in her life.”

  “You’re right. You don’t understand.” He lurched forward, but Kim caught his arm and forced him to stay seated.

  “So explain it to me.”

  “Forget about it.” His brusque response only made Kim tighten her hold.

  “I can’t do that, Ethan. As much as you hurt me with your deceptions, seeing you so tormented hurts me more.”

  Her unexpected mercy nearly undid him, and to his horror, he realized he was on the verge of tears. He fisted his hands, letting his nails chew into his palms to divert his thoughts. Bit by bit, the lump that had risen to his throat dissolved and the stinging in his eyes eased. How did the mere prospect of talking about something that had happened more than fifteen years ago have the power to derail him so completely?

  Some undercover cop he’d turned out to be. He couldn’t even keep his emotions under wraps.

  “I know I have no right to probe into your private life, Ethan. But I can see that whatever you’re keeping bottled up is eating away at you. If you don’t want to talk to me about it, you should talk to someone. Otherwise its hold over you will only grow stronger. The power of secrets is in keeping them secret.”

  Kim’s invitation lay tantalizingly before him like a lifeline he longed to grasp. But he’d tried opening up once before. With Stephanie. And the only thing his confession had freed him from was her. “I don’t deserve your sympathy. It’s better you learn that now instead of later.”

  “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

  Her voice was so soft, so sweet, her gaze so sincere, he felt as if a weight were being lifted from his shoulders. Maybe she was right. He certainly had nothing to lose. Not anymore.

  He drew in a deep breath and stared out over the lake, letting his emotions go numb. “I’m the one who put Joy in that wheelchair.”

  He expected Kim to startle, gasp, wince, something, but she simply gave his arm a gentle squeeze. “Tell me how it happened.”

  Her calm acceptance cracked open the walls around his heart. And in that moment, more than anything, he wanted to trust her. He didn’t care if his heart would be stripped in the process. She deserved the truth. He relaxed his clenched fists. Let the images tumble through his mind. “It was a beautiful day like this one. My buddies and I were heading to the beach to celebrate the end of school. Top down. Radio blaring. We were young, foolish and feeling invincible.

  “The guys passed around a joint, and pestered me to try it. I took a short puff to get them off my back.” He winced at how easily he’d given in. “The football team’s quarterback and his car full of cronies picked that moment to pull alongside us on the two lane road. I let off the gas, but the car stuck to us like Velcro. ‘Show him what you got,’ the guys shouted, and I gunned the gas.”

  His gaze shifted to the shoreline, but in his mind’s eye all he saw was the yellow line that marked the center of the road. “My car took the curve at double the speed limit. By the time I saw Joy…it was too late.” He looked at her, but caught between the present and the past, his eyes couldn’t focus. “One second Joy was running—strong, beautiful. The next she lay sprawled on the ground, her head wrenched at an impossible angle.”

  Kim smothered a gasp. “That’s why you looked so panicked when you found me in the ditch.” She cupped her hand over his. “You must’ve felt horrible.”

  “Still feel.” He turned his palm up and felt as if he’d been granted a gift when Kim laced her fingers through his own. Realizing his mistake, he pulled away. “I don’t deserve your pity. Now that you know what you wanted to hear, you should go.”

  She didn’t move. “Joy has forgiven you, you know.”

  “I know.”

  “Don’t you think it’s time you forgave yourself? You can’t change the past, but you can change what happens now.”

  Ethan bolted to his feet. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the past fifteen years? I lock up punks like me so women like you can feel safe jogging the streets.”

  Her face went white, and he mentally kicked himself for reminding her of the atta
cks against her yet again. Except…her gaze wasn’t glazed as if she were reliving those incidents. It was fixed on something behind him.

  He jerked his attention to the parking lot. “What is it?”

  “The kid!” She squinted. “I think.”

  “The kid who vandalized your car and snatched your purse?”

  A lone black SUV pulled onto the street and disappeared around the corner. Otherwise, the streets were empty. The shops not yet open. The water lapping the shoreline quickened to impatient slaps.

  “Where? I don’t see him.”

  “I’m not sure now. It was so far away.” Kim’s gaze remained fixed on the road. “I thought he climbed into that SUV.”

  “Did you catch the plate number?” Ethan yanked out his phone. “It’s probably stolen.”

  “I don’t think so.” Her gaze shifted to his. “I recognized the driver. I think.”

  “Who?”

  “The guy from the hospital. The one who stopped the kid from getting away.”

  What if Ethan tracked down the SUV?

  Kim unlocked the admissions room door. She hadn’t dared admit that she’d seen the driver exit her father’s room a week ago. Ethan already thought her purse snatcher was connected to the drug ring as part of some convoluted blackmail scheme. His wild imagination would be connecting Dad to the drug ring next.

  She dropped into the chair to wait for Melvin to return from court. The guy in the SUV was probably someone who helped street kids turn their lives around. Like Dad. It would explain why he’d visited Dad. If he was the same person.

  But not why Dad had been so upset afterward.

  She twisted the phone cord around her finger. Maybe she should’ve told Ethan. If he’d trusted her enough to admit to causing Joy’s paralysis, how could she not trust him enough to admit her dad might know the man who’d picked up the kid?

  What Ethan had shared was huge. No guy had ever opened up to her like that before. Nate would never have trusted her with that.

  Of course, that’s because Nate was untrustworthy.

  Not that Ethan had been up-front with her about why he was really here. He’d wooed her to use her. Still…

  If Dad knew the driver of the SUV, he could give them a name, tell them where they could find the person, so he could lead them to the kid. Of course, Ethan didn’t need to know where she got the driver’s name. She dialed Dad’s hospital room.

  Mom picked up the phone. “Kim? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted to ask Dad something.”

  “He’s sleeping at the moment. Had a bad night. He’ll probably be out for a few hours. Anything I can help with?”

  “Maybe. Dad had a visitor the night I wrecked my ankle. Do you know his name?”

  Silence greeted her question.

  “Mom? Did you hear me?”

  “Yes…just trying to recall who it might’ve been. I’m not sure. Your father gets so many visitors. Why do you ask?” The cheery note in Mom’s voice sounded more forced than usual.

  Dad’s illness was taking such a toll on her. Kim hated that Mom felt she had to put on a cheery front.

  “Don’t worry. It’s not that important.”

  “I doubt your father would remember with all the pain meds he’s on,” Mom said, but Kim knew she meant Don’t upset him by asking him something he won’t be able to remember.

  Kim ended the call. Now what?

  She glanced at the clock. Melvin wasn’t due back for a few more minutes. Should she call Ethan?

  If Dad couldn’t remember the name, what was the point?

  In need of a little moral support, she called Ginny instead.

  Ginny instantly guessed the reason for the call. “You talked to him, didn’t you?”

  “I had to know.”

  “Sometimes it’s better to nix your compulsion to know what’s bothering people. Especially when said person is a jerk.”

  “Ethan isn’t a jerk.” Clearly, telling Ginny about Ethan had been a mistake, but she’d needed to talk to someone after his cop revelation, and who safer than the wife of a cop?

  “Kim, wake up. He’s using you.”

  “Like Rick used you when you landed in the middle of his undercover investigation? Anyway, I was right. He did have another secret. But it has nothing to do with the manor.”

  “What is it?”

  “Uh…I can’t tell you. He shared the details in confidence.”

  “Don’t let him suck you into a relationship. You’re going to wind up hurt.”

  “This from the woman who’s been harping on me to date more?”

  “I was wrong.”

  “Well, you’re in luck. I get the impression he doesn’t think he’s good enough for me.”

  “Or he’s playing on your sympathies. I hate to tell you this, Kim, but you’re a pushover for a sob story.”

  “Well, I’d rather be a pushover than callous.” No matter why he was here and how he’d used her, she couldn’t bring herself to look away from his pain. Guilt was eating him alive. There had to be some way to help him overcome his remorse for Joy’s accident.

  A police car pulled into the garage. “My arrival’s here. I’ve gotta go.”

  “I know you want to help Ethan, but think about what I said. Okay?”

  “Sure.” But she could help him without getting her feelings involved. If she spent all her time worrying about not getting hurt, she’d never help anybody. Kim clicked off the phone and turned her attention to the officer holding Melvin.

  While she signed the paperwork, the officer removed the youth’s handcuffs.

  Once free, Melvin ripped his hands from the officer’s hold and rubbed at his chafed wrists. “Thanks for nothing.”

  The officer gave her one of those looks that said He’s your problem now, and then left without a word.

  Kim motioned Melvin toward the debriefing area where prisoners were searched before returning to their unit. “How’d your hearing go?”

  “How d’you think?” he said caustically.

  “Not the way you hoped?”

  He snorted. “Your brother can’t fix squat.”

  “My brother?” How did he know she and Darryl were siblings?

  They never used last names around the residents, or discussed relationships, for fear residents would use the information to manipulate them. If she’d been quicker, she would’ve asked, “What brother?” Instead, she said, “What’s my brother got to do with your hearing?”

  Melvin—the kid who got picked on by everyone, the kid who whimpered in his room at night when he thought nobody could hear, the kid she’d done her best to mentor over the past few months—glared at her with an icy sneer. “Like you don’t know.”

  Refusing to rise to his bait, she waved toward the door. “Let’s go.”

  “Or maybe you don’t wanna know,” he said over his shoulder.

  She squared her jaw and escorted him in silence. Melvin wasn’t the kind of kid who’d mess with people’s minds. If not for Ethan’s investigation, she would’ve assumed that Darryl offered to vouch for Melvin’s good behavior, nothing more.

  Instead, all kinds of troubling explanations preyed on her mind.

  Not one of which she’d believe for a second.

  “What a farce this place is,” Melvin grumbled. “I’d have been better off at the detention center in Hamilton.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  He stopped and faced her.

  She imagined he was going for a fierce scowl, glaring down from his six foot three inches, but his reddened face atop his skinny frame looked like a sunburned scarecrow.

  “You people talk about God and—” His g
aze shifted abruptly. “You don’t wanna know.” He turned on his heel and stalked down the hall without another word.

  Curious about what had caused Melvin to clam up, Kim glanced behind her.

  Aaron stood outside his office door. He strode toward her. “Everything okay?”

  “Sure.” Right. The boy would be intimidated by the director’s appearance, afraid of getting in trouble for mouthing off to staff. “Mel’s just letting off steam.”

  “Glad to hear it,” Aaron said. “Looking forward to the meeting tonight.” He gave her a wink before heading back to his office.

  Kim unlocked unit three’s door and then, leaving Melvin in the common room, she stepped into the staff station to add his paperwork to his file. Aaron’s appearance had reminded her of yet another matter she had to deal with—what to do about his lapse in judgment regarding the drugs the teen girl had given him. Aaron had shared the explanation in confidence, so Kim didn’t feel right about relaying it to the board without discussing the matter with him. If he recognized the folly of his decision, as she had when Ethan had presented it to her, then perhaps nothing more needed to be done, except give the police a heads-up on the boyfriend.

  She smiled, remembering the jealous undertone in Ethan’s voice when he’d asked about her meeting with Aaron. Ethan had made it clear that he worried about her seeing Aaron because he was a suspect, but part of her liked to think there was more to Ethan’s feelings than he wanted to admit.

  She shook her head. The whimsical thought was nothing more than her mind’s defense of her bruised ego. Her only interest in Ethan was to help him overcome the remorse that paralyzed him as completely as the accident that paralyzed Joy’s legs.

  And to keep him from destroying Hope Manor.

  Distantly, she realized that someone was talking to her, but the words had been background noise to the clamor in her head.

  Darryl stood at the door, a curious look on his face. “Did you hear anything I said?”