A Distant Shore

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A Distant Shore Page 10

by Caryl Phillips


  “You fucking animal. I don’t know why they bother to feed you.”

  Gabriel ignores the man and he begins to stuff the white bread and jam into his mouth as quickly as he can. Soon all of the food is gone and Gabriel is no longer hungry, but a raging thirst still causes his throat to burn. Gabriel finishes the tea and then slowly stands and crosses to the door of the cell. Once there, he looks down the corridor and sees the back of the television set and the man’s feet up on the desk.

  “Please, Mr. Collins, some water.”

  “Drink your own piss. Isn’t that what you lot do in the jungle?” The man next door begins to laugh at his own humour.

  Gabriel says nothing and he simply focuses on the night warder’s feet, but they do not move. He watches the reflected light from the television set flickering against the wall, and then Gabriel turns from this strange cinema and climbs up onto the top bunk. He lies flat on his back, but then he realises that having been tied up like this he would prefer to adopt a different position. Gabriel rolls over onto his side, which somehow makes him feel less tense, and he faces the door to his cell so that if anybody tries to enter he will see them. However, having eaten, he once again feels tired, and so he closes his eyes, and soon his mind and body begin to feel heavy.

  The heat of the day gives way to the noises of the night, but Gabriel is in pain, for his bladder is full and he is stiff with cold. When the truck finally stops, the dozen men are able to escape from beneath the tarpaulin. They climb to the ground, and as they relieve themselves they look around, but nobody seems to know exactly where they are. Once he has emptied himself, Gabriel sits with his uncle at the side of the dark road and stares at the star-speckled sky. Joshua asks his nephew if he has heard any voices of disquiet among the group, but Gabriel lets him know that despite the difficult conditions he has heard none of the men complain. The night-time stop lasts a little over an hour, and then as light begins to appear on the horizon, the men are once more shepherded onto the truck and the tarpaulin is pulled tightly into place. As the temperature begins to rise, and the blazing heat of the second day bears down upon them with full force, Gabriel cuts two holes in the tarpaulin so that air might pass through with greater ease. Having done so, he once more submits to the dull, uncomfortable rhythm of the journey.

  Again day gives way to night, and just when Gabriel fears that the men will no longer be able to endure their confinement, the truck comes to an abrupt stop. Gabriel listens closely, and he can hear his uncle talking with men whose voices are charged with anger. After what seems an age, the tarpaulin is finally peeled back and the cargo is encouraged to step from the truck. Gabriel immediately realises that this stop marks the end of the first stage of their journey, for he can see that they are on the perimeter of an airfield. In the distance stands a large plane. Momentarily forgetting his hunger and his thirst, Gabriel stares blankly at the aircraft, for this is the first real evidence that he will be abandoning his country. He stretches his cramped limbs and looks across at his uncle, who is conversing with two men in military garb. Joshua says something to both men and then, as though late for an appointment, the men sprint to their jeep and begin to roar across the tarmac in the direction of the one-storey terminal building. Dust rises in their wake, and as they pass out of sight Joshua moves around to the back of the truck and prepares to address the men. Gabriel positions himself so that he is standing next to his uncle, and together with the rest of the men he waits to hear what their fate might be.

  “The plane over there will take you to Europe.” Joshua lifts a weary arm and points. “However, we have to hurry for the aircraft must leave within one hour.”

  Gabriel is surprised to hear himself speaking up.

  “And what will happen to us when we reach Europe?”

  Joshua turns to Gabriel, aware that his nephew has asked the question that most of them wish to have answered.

  “I will tell you in Europe, for I am coming with you.”

  Gabriel is helpless to prevent his mouth from falling open in astonishment. However, before he can ask any further questions, his uncle continues.

  “When we reach Europe I will tell you of the next stage, and if you wish to follow me, then you must do so. But if you choose to go on your own, then I will respect your decision.”

  For some moments Gabriel stares at his grey-haired uncle, and then the older man breaks the silence. He turns to the driver of the truck.

  “Do we have more water?” The man nods, and Joshua continues. “Pass out the water, and after everybody has drunk their fill you must all return to the truck and we will leave.”

  As the driver begins to pass round the gourd of water, Gabriel touches his uncle’s arm.

  “Is everything all right?”

  Joshua looks all about himself before answering.

  “Gabriel, there has been another massacre. I cannot go back.”

  “And your family?” asks Gabriel.

  Joshua shakes his head and the two men stare at each other.

  When the truck reaches the shadow of the plane, the dozen men climb down and wait eagerly on the tarmac. They huddle together, while all around them men with powerful guns shout instructions to each other in a language that Gabriel cannot understand. Joshua raises his voice in order to be heard.

  “This way. We must hurry now.”

  A flight of steps has been pushed up against the plane, and Joshua leads the way. At the top of the steps, Gabriel turns and looks down at the one-storey terminal building, and the dimly lit runway, and the dark bush that spreads out flat in every direction as far as the eye can see. And then a man pushes past him, and then another, and Gabriel realises that he should not linger. Once he is inside, Gabriel is surprised to see that there are already perhaps one hundred men and women who are seated on the floor with their backs to the wall of the plane. There are no seats, and to Gabriel’s eyes the interior looks like a large tubular warehouse. Those who have not been lucky enough to find wall space squat awkwardly.

  From where he is sitting Gabriel is able to peer through one of the small round windows, but all he can see is blackness. The plane quickly levels out and the noise of the engines achieves a monotonous roar. Soon Gabriel begins to feel cold. He steals warmth from his uncle’s body, and he tries desperately to fall asleep, but each time he closes his eyes he feels compelled to open them again, for he knows that in order to stay warm he must concentrate. He notices a man to the side of him with one leg and an unwashed blue rag covering his stump. The man looks in pain, and his eyes are brimming with tears, but Gabriel looks away and imagines this plane cutting neatly through the clouds with the bush carpet, and then the sand carpet, and then the water carpet way down beneath them.

  The loud jolt of the plane hitting the tarmac wakes Gabriel up, and he tumbles into his uncle’s lap. The runway lights race by, briefly illuminating the interior of the plane, and as Gabriel regains his balance it is clear to him that some of the women and men, including his uncle, appear to be sick. He gently pushes the older man, who speaks without opening his eyes.

  “I’m fine, Gabriel. Everything is just fine.” But his uncle sounds weak.

  Gabriel follows a frail Joshua down the steps and into the warm air. It is night time, and in the distance it is possible to see the bright lights of a great city. Once they reach the tarmac Gabriel is able to see that they are still some distance from the large terminal building, and should they be expected to walk, then he is sure that this task will prove too much for his uncle. An unshaven white man hands them a single paper cup of water, and the man is careful to make sure that they each receive only one cup. They gulp down their water and then hold their cups in their hands as though unsure of what to do next. Joshua’s group of a dozen men, who two days earlier began their journey under a tarpaulin in the back of a truck, stand together. As though obeying some unheard order, the other voyagers have reclaimed their natural groups, and they all stand idly in the shadow of the huge plane that has carr
ied them out of Africa. Dust begins to rise, and Gabriel watches anxiously as a fleet of buses races towards them, but he remains unsure whether the buses are hostile or friendly.

  Once the buses reach the terminal building the new immigrants are all ushered through a narrow door, on the other side of which are stationed men with guns who look upon them without respect. The air inside this building is stifling. Joshua leaves his dozen men and approaches a uniformed white man who appears to be in charge of the whole operation. Gabriel eyes his uncle closely and tries to guess what is happening, but it is only when Joshua returns, and gathers his men around him, that it becomes clear what the next stage will entail. Joshua holds a hand up to his mouth, and tells them that they are to be transferred to a room where they will be able to wash themselves, and then the same buses will take them to a place where they will make a short journey across some water in a boat. After this they will be in Europe proper, and then they will board a train to France and then on to England. Joshua reminds them that once they have crossed the water they are free to strike out on their own if they wish. Joshua pauses, but nobody speaks, and so he says that they must hurry because they must cross the water and board the train before the sun rises.

  Gabriel barely has time to step out of his clothing and pile it onto a bench before a white man is shouting at him, and pushing and prodding his naked body into a powerful stream of icy water. Some men around Gabriel scream and rush to reclaim their clothes, while most seem grateful for the water and try to drink as much as possible. Gabriel runs quickly through the water and pulls on his clothes, despite the fact that his body is still dripping wet. As they pass through the city Gabriel looks out of the window and can see that the buildings are tall, but most of them are boarded up on the ground floor. On the higher floors, windows are open and curtains flutter in the breeze, but there is nobody to be seen. However, it is the neon glare from petrol stations, the signs in garish reds and greens, which catch Gabriel’s attention. The men stare at the lights, which seem to suggest festivity, but one by one they all tire and adopt the fatigued position of lowering their heads onto the back of the seat in front of them or into their sweating, cupped palms.

  Gabriel had imagined that the bus journey would be a short one, but they seem to have been trundling into the night for ever. Through the window he can see that they are now travelling along narrow country roads, with only the occasional house on either side. An exhausted Joshua leans against his nephew, and his head bobs first one way and then the next, causing him to roll from side to side like a puppet. Although it makes him feel guilty to notice, Gabriel can smell Joshua’s unwashed body and he turns away from his poor uncle. As he does so the noise of the raucous engine begins to change, and the bus slows down and then pulls to a halt. Gabriel shakes Joshua, who wakes up with a start. He seems embarrassed that he has fallen asleep.

  “Is this where we take the boat?”

  His uncle rubs his eyes and stands up without answering Gabriel. He walks to the front of the bus to speak with the driver.

  Gabriel continues to stare out of the window. He can see that there is a small pier and moored against the pier there is a boat. Far across the water he sees a low line of lights, which suggests that this is a very wide river. One by one his fellow travellers wake up, and then stretch, and then they too stare out of the window at the water, and at the land in the far distance. Gabriel turns his attention back to his uncle, who is still talking with the driver of the bus. The conversation is becoming increasingly loud, and then Joshua gesticulates angrily with both hands and walks back down the aisle. Once again he takes up his seat next to Gabriel, and then he turns to his nephew.

  “We have to wait for other buses.”

  Gabriel looks puzzled. “How long do we wait?”

  “This is the problem,” says Joshua. “We do not know.”

  “And what if the other buses do not arrive?”

  Joshua ignores his nephew’s question.

  Gabriel huddles next to his uncle in the boat as the cold wind whips off the water and stings their faces. He can see that the boat’s cumbersome engine is tracing a dull line in the moonlit water, a line that quickly disappears as the shallow swell erases all evidence of it. The heavily laden boat inches along with a laboured bearing, and Gabriel listens to the muted whisper of the water talking to itself. Out here on this night river that is full of the reflection of stars, the stiffening wind threatens to become spiteful and Gabriel feels a series of shivers course through his slender body. Above them the sky is beginning to relinquish its black pallor, but as yet there is no sign of dawn. Gabriel gazes ahead to the shoreline where the ribbon of lights moves ever closer, and then he hears the boat’s engines being cut and he feels the vessel beginning to drift. A barefoot boy jumps up on the prow of the boat and tosses a rope to some scruffy-looking men on the quayside whose cigarettes glow especially bright in the twilight. And then the boy disembarks. Gabriel’s eyes hurt, for his pupils feel as if they have shrunk so that they are now too small to hold the imminent daylight. However, as he looks around a sense of relief warms his empty stomach. This is Europe. Tired, hungry and disorientated, the weary migrants stumble ashore.

  Joshua stands in the doorway to their cramped train compartment and explains to them all that under no circumstances are the plastic window screens to be raised. He then requests that Gabriel join him in the corridor. Gabriel is worried, for he is sure that he will now lose his coveted seat by the window, but Joshua waits patiently for his nephew to stand. Once they are in the corridor, Gabriel can see that stationed at either end of the carriage there is a uniformed man with a gun.

  “Until we reach France, you will be in charge.” His uncle scratches furiously at his mesh of grey hair. “Nobody must move in or out, unless it is to use the toilet. And then only with your permission. The customs police have been paid, but they do not wish to see us.”

  Gabriel nods. His uncle knows that he was a major in the rebel army, and Gabriel imagines that Joshua assumes that his nephew is therefore familiar with issuing orders and having men obey him. But Gabriel knows that issuing orders is one thing; having men obey you is something entirely different.

  When Gabriel returns to the compartment he has to force himself down and into a new space for, as he suspected, his seat by the window has been taken and everybody has spread out and made themselves more comfortable. Gabriel explains that they will have to stay in this compartment for two, maybe three, days. Whenever the train stops they will not be allowed into the corridor, and under no circumstances are they to look out of the window. They listen to Gabriel, who tells them that they will be passing through Italy before they reach France, and that when they reach France it will be a relatively short journey to England. Everybody listens intently, but Gabriel feels somewhat awkward in this new role of leader and so, having finished what he is expected to say, he soon falls silent.

  Gabriel looks over at the young woman in the corner. She had been in one of the other groups, but had apparently found it difficult to understand everything that they were saying because she did not share the same language. When she heard Joshua’s group on the boat she realised that they might help her. Gabriel sneaks surreptitious glances at this quietly beautiful woman with large almond eyes, whose child is sleeping among the bundles of cloth that are swathed around her body. She looks up and catches Gabriel staring, and so he quickly lowers his eyes and listens intently to the sound of the train. Gabriel can feel his head beginning to roll about on his shoulders, but he continues to concentrate and think about what he will do once this journey is over and he has reached England. Some hours later Gabriel opens his eyes and he can see that his fellow passengers, with the exception of the woman, are now all asleep. She is breast-feeding her child, and when she feels Gabriel’s eyes upon her she looks up. Gabriel is momentarily embarrassed, but although he knows that the decent thing would be to look away, this time he continues to stare at her. To his surprise the woman ignores him.
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  In the morning, Gabriel eases himself out of his seat without waking the others, and he slides back the door and steps into the corridor. Through the partially shaded corridor windows he can see that the train is moving slowly through what appears to be pasture land. His uncle is seated on the floor with his back to the compartment, and, having cast a surreptitious glance at the uniformed men to his left and right, Gabriel takes a seat next to him.

  “How much longer?”

  “Suddenly you are impatient?” Gabriel says nothing, and so his uncle continues. “Are the men becoming restless, is that it?”

  Gabriel glances behind him and whispers.

  “What is the woman doing among us?”

  Joshua smiles. “My nephew, everybody is leaving to go to a better place. Is she causing problems?”

  “No, no.” Gabriel is quick to speak now. “I do not know what to think about the child.”

  “Well, is the child your problem?”

  “Of course not.”

  Joshua chuckles under his breath.

  “Gabriel, the woman would not be here among us if she did not know how to take care of herself and her child. Do not worry about her. We have enough troubles of our own.”

  Gabriel turns to face his uncle. “What do you mean?”

  “We are going only to Paris. These men say that if we wish to go to England, then we will have to do so by ourselves.”

  “But we have paid our money for England. That is where they have to take us.”

  Joshua shakes his head. “They say they can take us to a place on the coast of France, and then we can try to pass through the tunnel to England. But it is heavily guarded.”

  “But the French will not give us papers.” Again Gabriel glances at the guards at either end of the corridor, and then he looks again to his uncle. “We cannot stay in France.”

  “At least in France they will not kill us.”

  Gabriel stares at his uncle and understands that their conversation is at an end. It is his responsibility to go back into the compartment and, when the time is right, tell the others. His uncle has closed his tired eyes, and his head is now beginning to fall towards his chest.

 

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