Slim Chance

by Jeff Erno

  Should he take a cab over to the church to see if anyone was there or wait till morning? He decided to wait. He wouldn’t be able to talk to Benjy in the middle of a rehearsal. Then again, would tomorrow be any better? He began to question whether or not he’d made the right decision in coming here. Maybe he’d have been wiser to wait for Benjy to return and talk to him back home.

  Something inside him—intuition perhaps—had drawn him. He’d known in an instant he had to go after Benjy. Benjy would need him. Benjy would welcome him. That’s what Oliver’s heart had told him, but now his head was saying something different.

  He changed into shorts and a tight tank top and headed downstairs to the fitness center the desk clerk had told him about. Relieved to find it empty that time of the night, he had the place to himself. He used the cardio equipment and some of the free weights, trying to make up for the fact he’d skipped his workout that morning. He finished off with some routine exercises—crunches, burpees, push-ups. As he at last rose to his feet, dripping with sweat, he grabbed a towel from the machine beside him and wiped his brow. He suddenly froze in place, terrified to move a single inch.

  “Oliver, what are you doing here?” Benjy stood before him, cuter than fuck in his shorts and matching Under Armour T-shirt. As slender as he was, wearing a crisp, brand-new pair of sneakers, he looked like he was headed to high school phys ed.

  “Benjy,” Oliver whispered.

  “I refunded your money, canceled your flight.”

  He nodded, taking a step closer to Benjy. “I bought another one.”

  “I see you did… but why?”

  Oliver didn’t detect hostility or defensiveness in his voice. Not even anger. It felt like a genuine question, something he really didn’t understand and wanted to know.

  “I came for you, Benjy. I love you, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop.”

  Benjy gulped, not speaking, then nodded.

  “How are you doing? How are you holding up?”

  As he looked into Oliver’s eyes, Benjy’s shoulders began to tremble. His eyes filled with tears, and he opened his mouth to speak. It took a couple seconds, and then at last he managed to utter, “I’m not… holding up, I mean. I’m terrified.”

  Oliver stepped forward, refusing to wait another second for permission, and swept Benjy into his arms, pulling him against his much larger body. “Baby, I’m here. Don’t be afraid.”

  Benjy’s arms slipped around him, squeezing him tightly, and he buried his face against Oliver’s shoulder, his body now vibrating against Oliver’s. As he trembled, crying in Oliver’s arms, Oliver rocked him back and forth, kissing his forehead and smoothing his hair with one hand.

  “I’ll go with you. I’ll be there the whole time, and when you feel anxious, you can look at me. You can look at me and remember how proud I am of you for facing your fear. And when it’s over, we’ll celebrate. We’ll talk about how smoothly it all went, how fucking sexy you looked in your tuxedo.”

  “Oh, Oliver! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

  “Baby, no. You didn’t do anything to me. I’m the one who’s sorry. What was I thinking, saying that to you, calling you—I won’t even say it again. I shouldn’t have pushed you to do so much all at once. We could have talked it out. We could have taken small baby steps together.”

  “That’s what my counselor says. I started seeing someone.” He pulled back from Oliver and stared up into his face. “She wasn’t even sure I should come to the wedding, but I couldn’t cancel on Sam.”

  “I’m so glad. And you know what? I’m going to see a counselor too. I figured out I’ve got some issues of my own. I’ve got to learn to get comfortable in my own skin before I go get some of it chopped off.”

  “You look perfect. You don’t need to chop any part of yourself off.” The fierceness of his gaze spoke the truth. He meant every word. “But if you do feel you want a surgery, you know I support you.”

  “I know.”

  Oh my God. He spoke in the present tense. Does this mean…?

  “Benjy, can I kiss you?”

  “Right here?” He smiled the most beautiful, coy smile Oliver had ever seen. “Right here in front of the whole world?”

  “Right here. Right now.”

  “What are you waiting for?”

  Oliver grabbed hold of Benjy’s face, framing it, and kissed him deep and passionate. He pulled back, just a little, and gazed into his gorgeous eyes. “Oh my God, you taste so wonderful.”

  Benjy bit his bottom lip. “I was going to work out, but….”

  “I know another way to work out.” Oliver raised his eyebrows.

  Benjy grinned wickedly. “But you’re already sweaty.”

  “I’ll take a shower, then get sweaty again… and again… and again.”

  “Mm-hm.”

  Oliver wrapped his arm around Benjy’s shoulder and guided him out the door, then grabbed his hand as he headed briskly toward the elevators. “Why weren’t you listed at the desk? They said you canceled your reservation,” he asked.

  “Oh, Sam insisted on paying for my room. She had already booked one, so I had to cancel mine.”

  “I LIKE it.” Benjy lay beside him, pressing his fingers gently into the skin on Oliver’s belly. “It’s soft and doughy like you said, but I can feel the hard muscle underneath.”

  “You’re tickling me, you know.”

  Benjy laughed, and Oliver couldn’t help but find it ironic. Benjy tickled him, and Benjy laughed, not Oliver.

  “You don’t think it’s gross?”

  “It’s you. It’s a part of the man I love.” He leaned forward and kissed Oliver’s abdomen, allowing one hand to travel downward and squeeze his cock lovingly. Fuck. They’d already made love twice, and Benjy still got him excited with a single touch.

  “I don’t think I have the energy for another round just yet.” Benjy sighed. “But by the looks of it, I might have to give you head.”

  “No….” This time Oliver did laugh. “No, I’m fine. You just turn me on.”

  “Mmm-hmm. I love your big broad shoulders, your strong chest. I love when you tower over me, pin me to the mattress, and fuck me like a wild man.”

  “Benjy, stop it!” Oliver groaned. “Stop talking dirty to me.”

  “Never.” He slid on top of Oliver’s body and kissed him squarely on the lips. Oliver caressed his backside, hands gliding down his naked body to his buttocks. He cupped the perfectly rounded globes as he savored the feel of Benjy’s svelte body atop his own. Benjy’s hard-on pressed against Oliver’s abdomen, and it too was rock solid again.

  “I love you.” He looked into Benjy’s eyes.

  “Even with all my imperfections?”

  “Especially with them. I love you because of your imperfections. Baby, you’re perfectly flawed… and so am I.”

  “You certainly are.”

  OLIVER SAT in the second row, right behind the bride’s parents. God, Sam was amazingly sweet. He totally understood how she and Benjy had become such close friends. Really, the whole wedding party had been awesome, welcoming Oliver as a member of the family.

  When Benjy walked down the aisle as an attendant of the bride, not the groom, he accompanied one of the groomsmen. Oliver wondered if it might be awkward, but to his surprise, their arms were linked, exactly as would be the case if one of them were a bridesmaid. They parted at the altar, and Benjy took his place on the bride’s side between two female attendants.

  Benjy looked spectacular, decked out in his tux, and as Oliver stared at him, he couldn’t stop smiling. He also found it difficult to peel his eyes away, even when the wedding march began. Finally he turned to see the gorgeous bride. He glanced back at Benjy, who didn’t seem a bit nervous. Benjy smiled as tears streamed down his cheeks. Fuck, he was going to make Oliver cry.

  After the ceremony, Benjy quickly found Oliver and hugged him tightly. Oliver could tell he was relieved he’d made it through and happy with the outcome. �
��You should be proud of yourself,” Oliver whispered. “I am…. I mean, I’m proud of you.”

  “I know. I don’t want to make this about me, though. This is Sam’s day.”

  “Of course, and that’s why you should be proud. You didn’t make it about you. You were perfect. You still are perfect, in each and every way.”

  Epilogue

  Five Years Later

  OLIVER PULLED his SUV into the garage, careful not to hit the tricycle. Benjy must’ve had Dylan out playing again. The toddler loved to race up and down the sidewalk. At two, he certainly thought he was at least five. When Oliver stepped into the kitchen, he inhaled deeply. Mmmm. Benjy had already started cooking dinner. He was a much better cook; Oliver loved when it was his turn. With their busy schedules, and with having Dylan, they were careful to divide up the household responsibilities.

  Benjy appeared in the archway of the kitchen, holding the little guy in his arms. Dylan’s hair was wet, and he had a towel wrapped around him. “Someone decided it would be fun to make mud pies.”

  Oliver laughed. “Well, it doesn’t smell like mud pie’s for supper.” He walked over, first kissing their son, then his husband. He took Dylan from Benjy, pulling him against his chest and hugging him.

  “Daddy Owie!”

  “Were you a good boy while Daddy was gone? Or did you drive Daddy Benjy crazy?”

  “He was an angel, as usual.”

  “Just like his father,” they said in unison, then laughed.

  They’d gotten married a year after their reconciliation in Missouri. A year after that, Oliver finally made the decision not to have the skin surgery. Instead, they wanted to use their money to pay a surrogate to carry their child. Maybe someday Oliver would get the skin surgery, but he wasn’t worried about it. He liked his body the way it was, and Benjy loved him exactly the way he was.

  Oliver didn’t go to the gym every day anymore. Three times a week now. He also remained active, and the two of them loved to bike. He no longer refused every dessert or weighed himself incessantly. He did have to consciously monitor his caloric intake, but not in the fastidious manner he once did.

  Oliver donated time at the gym helping guys like Leonard. Leonard had made a lot of progress, far more slowly than had Oliver, but his effort was impressive nonetheless. He now was a regular at the gym, at least a hundred pounds lighter than he had been five years previously. And there’d been other guys.

  The gym bunny foursome no longer frequented the Fitness Warehouse. They received one-year suspensions as a result of Oliver’s complaint and elected not to return. It was no skin off Oliver’s ass, and frankly, he felt their absence was a good riddance to bad rubbish.

  His parents remained actively involved in Oliver’s and Benjy’s lives, and they spoiled their grandson worse than any grandparents in the history of the world. Oliver and Benjy visited them several times a year, particularly on holidays, and Benjy seemed to only get closer to Oliver’s mom as the years passed.

  Benjy’s anxiety was now much more manageable. It hadn’t magically gone away. It might never, just like Oliver’s loose skin. It didn’t matter, though. There were times Oliver had to make concessions. He had to be patient and understanding, even when it was difficult. But it was such a small sacrifice to make, and he was so proud of his husband and all the progress he’d made.

  “You do realize next week will be four years.” Benjy spoke in a flippant, nonchalant manner as he pulled a tray from the oven.

  “Six,” Oliver corrected.

  Benjy scoffed, laughing as he placed one hand on his hip. “You think I don’t remember our wedding anniversary? It will be four years on Saturday.”

  “But we met two years before that. Why doesn’t that time count too?”

  Benjy rolled his eyes as he stepped over to the table. “Put your son in the high chair.”

  Oliver kissed the little boy once more, then did as he was told, lowering Dylan into his seat. “Him’s a big boy. He’s getting so big and strong.”

  “And we love him exactly as he is. No matter what,” Benjy said. He stepped over to Oliver and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tightly. Oliver kissed his husband softly on the lips, then pulled back slightly, gazing into his eyes.

  “Because he’s perfect,” Oliver whispered.

  “Absolutely perfect.”

  More from Jeff Erno

  Dumb Jock: Book One

  Jeff Irwin is short, timid, and studious. A bit of a social outcast, he lives quietly in the shadows of the popular kids at his school, his life ruled by his ever-present fear of rejection or failure.

  Enter high school football hero Brett Willson and the chance for Jeff to embark upon the challenge of educating the world’s dumbest jock.

  But what develops between Brett and Jeff proves far more challenging than any tutoring session. In 1983, rural Michigan isn’t ready to embrace love between two men, never mind two teenage boys. If they’re going to make a go of it, Jeff will have to come out of his shell—and Brett will have to prove he’s more than just a dumb jock.

  William Austin has always wanted to be a nurse, though he’s no longer sure the gratification is worth the pain of losing a patient. For now, he’s a nursing student and works two jobs—barista and private nurse. Will meets Blaine Coventry at the coffee shop, and when the altruistic young attorney offers him a job caring for his Uncle Elliot, Will accepts. Will finds that Elliot’s stroke has left him unable to walk or talk, and Elliot’s husband, James, says the goal is to keep Elliot comfortable until he passes. But Will starts rehabilitation, and his patient soon begins to make progress. When James resists, Will realizes something isn’t right, and investigates. Then he discovers a chilling secret that threatens to forever change Will’s life… or perhaps end it.

  Full Nelson: Book One

  Detective Chris Nelson and his husband Ethan are about to go on a weekend getaway to celebrate their third wedding anniversary. Instead, a case comes in for Chris. The brutally murdered body of a swim coach at the local military academy was found in the pool. Seventeen-year-old cadet Alex has already confessed. It looks like an open and shut case.

  However, when Chris interviews Alex and reviews the forensics, he becomes convinced Alex is innocent. Searching for the truth behind the actual murderer and why Alex would take the fall, Chris follows a trail through a series of students. He discovers they all experienced sexual abuse at the hands of the murdered swim coach. Digging deep, Chris finds further links between the school administration and the district attorney’s office covering up the allegations. When he finally solves the case, it will blow the conspiracy wide open.

  Full Nelson: Book Two

  When Detective Chris Nelson catches a police call at a gay bar, he finds a murdered drag queen in the alley behind the building. Andrew Brooks, the victim's co-worker at Bambi's, claims he found her. Because she is sprinkled in the same red glitter Andrew uses in his act, Nelson takes him in for questioning.

  Forensics clear Andrew but reveal the victim was into hardcore kink. Following a trail of evidence, Nelson arrives at his next suspect: Andrew's brother. Todd Brooks is an avowed neo-Nazi racist homophobe, but Andrew is still devastated. After the near-mistake with Andrew, Nelson isn't ready to rush to judgment again. Taking his time, he digs deeper, intent on apprehending the actual murderer.

  Full Nelson: Book Three

  Detective Chris Nelson faces another murder investigation. This time the victims are educators—a college professor and a high school teacher—and both are gay. Jared Bressman, the first victim, is found strangled in his apartment. A few days later, Stephen Hayes is found in his home, a victim of the same type of assault. Chris must piece together the clues to find a connection—if there is one—between the murders and stop the killer before he strikes again. Once he discovers that the killer also has a link to someone close to him, Chris races to beat the murderer to his final victim.

  Readers love Jeff Erno

  My Dumb Jock />
  “This “jock and nerd fall in love” series is one of the best I’ve read and has always held a special place in my heart…”

  —My Fiction Nook

  Teacher’s Pet

  “Very well-written story with amazing details…”

  —MM Good Book Reviews

  “If you like a fast-paced roller-coaster ride which moves in lots of directions at once, throwing you off the track, you may enjoy this murder mystery. Thanks, Jeff, for an entertaining story.”

  —Rainbow Book Reviews

  Glitter

  “I found this book well written with a distinctive plot. The main characters and the secondary characters were realistic. I loved the ending because it was not who I expected. I had a hard time putting this book down.”

  —Hearts on Fire Reviews

  JEFF ERNO began writing in the early 1990s. Originally his work was posted on a free, amateur website, where it was eventually discovered and published. He writes gay-themed stories that span several subgenres including young adult, m/m romance, gay fiction, BDSM, and sci-fi.

  Until recently, Erno worked as a retail store manager but now writes full-time. He currently resides in southern Michigan. He loves animals, particularly cats, and enjoys reading, movies, theater, country-western music, community service, political activism, and cake decorating.

  Website: www.jefferno.com