Emotionless: (Prototype: Zero book 1)

by Shaina Anastasi

  It angered me.

  Veins began to throb, connect to one another and were twisting and joining. Lifting my arm, I pointed it directly at them and narrowed my eyes the slightest. I felt the attack rune activate. About to attack, break the rune, anything, when a wooden staff slapped my arm gently down, and I noticed Head Mage beside me. A firm shake of his head as he looked at me.

  “Make them stop,” I demanded softly.

  “I can’t because I am the one who classified this,” he stated. “I cannot keep him safe if I didn’t know where he was on the first day of the excursion.”

  “Why?”

  “I said to keep –”

  “Why do they have to be here?” I elaborated.

  “Are your parents that happened to be here a bad thing?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Mika,” my mum’s voice, velvety and silky smooth breathed out and my stomach twisted into a double knot. “There is nothing suspicious nor erased from his memories. I will inform the Organisation of this matter.”

  “That is one down and three to go,” Mika murmured. “Eileen, did you come up here to meet Lawliet?” he asked, and I nodded firmly. “Would you mind staying with him while I talk to your parents? He will wake up soon.”

  Walking towards him, they released the rune, it dispersed from the ground, and they walked by without a second glance at me, their daughter. As if they have no recollection that I existed, they walked out with Mika to talk in hushed voices.

  I brushed down my jeans, wiped away the nervous sweat, and crouched down until I landed on my knees and then shuffled forward to the sleeping Lawliet. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep where he can wake up on his own. He would have to wait until the rune wears off to wake. The rune is illegal for anyone outside of the organisation and illegal unless signed for permission either from the one that they are doing it from or in this case, the guardian. I find it a breach of privacy because they can backtrack to the day that he was born and start from there. They were flicking through memories and watching them all until satisfied. To look at his darkest days and know everything. Violating Lawliet to the core.

  Moving strands of hair to the side, his arm snapped up and grabbed hold of my hand. Melancholy gold eyes opened slowly and were aware of his surroundings.

  “Did you see?” he asked, and I shook my head, confused. “Good.” Shifting up to a sitting position, he slumped shoulders and drew a random activation circles on the ground. “All I need is for you to look at me as if I am broken.” He lifted his finger, and fire licked up, warm and inviting. Raising my legs, I wrapped my arms around them and rested chin on my knees. I stared at the flickering orange flames and the streams of smoke that was simmering in the air. “Something bad happened on the excursion, and I feel guilty for not telling you sooner, but I didn’t want you to get brought in the middle and asked uncomfortable questions. Avoiding you didn’t work. All I wanted was to see you, isn’t that weird?”

  “Yes,” I agreed but didn’t voice that I was feeling the same as well. Empty.

  “Whatever, anyway,” he breathed out heavily and leant forward. “Rokk went missing. They wouldn’t have found it suspicious if there weren’t blood splatters found in the snow. His blood. Right now, Mika has to take it as a murder case and to question everyone around that time individually. The ones who didn’t have an alibi is Me, Rebecca and . . . And your brothers.”

  “Donte and Nixon?” I asked, and he nodded slowly. “I see.”

  “But, hey,” he shuffled close to me and reached his hand up and placed it on my cheek. “It will be over soon, and then we can get out of here and find your grandfather. Just the two of us.”

  Placing my hand over his, I averted eyes and felt my face heat up as I whispered, “I would like that.”

  “Lawliet, are you alright?” leaning away from each other, Lawliet nodded at Mika and his eyes softened. “You’re in the clear. Your story checks out, and someone saw you around that time. We’re somewhat lucky the salesman remembers seeing you when you came in to buy that book or else it will be more complicated.”

  “Did they leave?” Lawliet asked, his hand, I noticed, fell beside mine. Fingertips are twitching.

  “They went to speak to the others.”

  Others? I thought for a moment and felt my heart sink lower, as I recalled what they did to Lawliet. I quickly stood when I noticed the staff appear. My veins felt threatened and heightened again. The familiar feeling of being in the gears of time happened, and everything stopped. Lawliet who was about to stand to calm me down was in a crouched position. Mika, who nearly slammed his staff down froze in place, or so it seemed, as I ran past, his eyes followed frequently. Merely, he was pretending, as for the first time since I could remember, I ran.

  Heartbeat accelerated, pounding in my chest, painfully hitting my rib cage. I ran down the stairs when time sped up. Lawliet was calling, and I assume that he was running after me as I rounded the corner to the cafeteria. Running through ghosts who floated up from the floor, a long hard chill froze spinal cord, however, I was persistent to get to my brothers, to see if they were ok. No one wants to relive memories, as the ones who abandoned Donte and Nixon shift through. They don’t believe their own children, so they have to use force to put them to sleep and look through. It isn’t right. Donte and Nixon aren’t murderers! They would know that if they spent time with them as I do. But they will never know because they have never been there. They have never shown any type of affection towards us as we grew up. We have been at an arm’s length the whole time.

  I felt that them coming here, not because they wanted to, but because of a work-related thing, it was the trigger to my sudden anger. I swallowed it down all I could, tried so hard to make them see that they’re tearing themselves away from us and they still don’t seem to care. When it comes to my parents, we’re all pushovers. Pretending everything is ok. That is all we ever do. Act like we live this perfect life.

  “Eileen?” Charlie questioned as I ran by her. She wore bright pink pyjamas and pig slippers. I glanced back to notice her look at me with those dumb-struck eyes as I ran up the stairs.

  I have never run or thought about running. So, seeing me do so would be a surprising sight.

  Taking the steps at a time, I ran to the door to the home when arms grabbed me from behind. Being dragged backwards, I stumbled as well as they through a door and landed with a thud on the other side. Laying their flat, I rested on Lawliet’s chest, both our breaths were harsh as we breathed in and out. His heart pounded in his chest. It was pulsing in my ear.

  “You’re so fast when you want to be,” he said breathlessly. “I had to run through walls to catch up. You’re such a pain in my fucking ass.”

  “Ok.”

  “You’re not going home tonight.”

  “Ok?”

  “You’re not going to fucking time warp or whatever when I let go.”

  “Don’t.”

  There was silence, as his fingers twitched along my waist, where they gripped harshly moments ago when he tugged me back away from my door.

  “Whatever, this is so stupid . . .” he trailed off and wrapped them around my back. Sighing softly, I relaxed my shoulders and closed eyes. I watched the strange colourful swirls sluggishly move under lids. “We’re so not friends,” he murmured.

  “I know,” I agreed, and the tension of everything that happened tonight washed away, as I fell asleep in Lawliet’s arms.

  “Shit. How am I supposed to . . .” his voice trailed off?

  The smell of alluring sweets tickled my nose. Groggily waking, the blurred images wavered for a moment until everything soaked in. I wasn’t on the ground nor randomly sleeping in someone’s arms. I was in a comfortable bed, in a chocolate brown room with cream coloured sheets. Sitting up, it oddly reminds me of a - I think Charlie calls it - one nightstand. She said, ‘I cannot lay around in their bed, it would be awkward, so I would need to try to sneak out because it would be embarrassing on how I got h
ere and what was said’. However, I wasn’t embarrassed by sleeping here, but I cannot lie and say it was because I was over exhausted and distressed by the fact my mum and Dad are home, and that’s how I ended up in this situation with Lawliet. These strange feelings have been swirling inside, confused, and without knowing what to do with them but steer them in the right direction. Somehow, possibly, reciprocated confusion seems like the most appropriate answer at this moment.

  Rubbing eyes and yawning, I stood in the bedroom and looked around. It was a comfortable and large bedroom, with a dark chocolate oak chest of draws. The top was cluttered with old books that were stacked up carelessly. A small round mirror near in-built cupboards with glass sliding doors and wooden trimmings. Nice panelling cream walls with darkened wood and a fanlight that was spinning lightly around and around the ceiling. I wondered why it was on until I realised I am a little bit warm in this room. Feet slid across the fluffy cream carpet, and I stood, still half-asleep, not ready for today. I walked out of the open door and stepped straight into a lounge room. There were blankets folded up on the armrest of the white leather couch. Grey rug over white tiles and a large glass television unit with the large television propped over the top and was hanging on the wall. It was bland, with one warm glow light over the top and was casting everything in mild yellow light.

  A sizzling sound came from around the wall and into the kitchen that divided them both. Along the back wall was a frying pan with scrambled eggs and bacon that was sizzling in it. Lawliet was sleeping on the countertop. It doesn’t come to a surprise that he fell asleep. I still believe he is part vampire.

  Reaching for the frypan, I noticed the bandages and stopped short of grabbing hold of the handle. I had done something like this last night. Burning my hands and then my brothers had to play doctor. If they were not so stressed with being suspects to a murder case – which I still cannot believe happened – they would have been evil, and my doctor experience would have been traumatic.

  “Morning,” he mumbled from behind me. Lawliet lifted the pan and scraped the bacon and eggs on one plate. “Enjoy.”

  “Thank you,” I said as I took a bite. “Yum. Dragon eggs.”

  “Hmm,” he grunted. “I think you should stay here for a few days to cool off before meeting your parents. I won’t take up any of your space. Probably won’t be in here. It’s been awhile.”

  “Ok.”

  “You can take my bed. I never slept in it, so the sheets are clean if you were worried or whatever,” he yawned, stood and grabbed my plate. “I want to relax. I couldn’t move last night because you suddenly fell asleep on me in my hallway.” Grabbing my arm, he directed me to the lounge room, placed the food on the coffee table and lifted the remote. “Rune channel should keep you occupied.” Nodding vigorously, I leant back and sat on the lounge when Lawliet did the same. He tipped to the side until he fell on my lap. “If you get uncomfortable, remember, payback is a bitch. This is for you sleeping on me so suddenly last night.”

  Touching his hair, I murmured, “Soft,” and heat climbed up his neck, and his cheeks flushed while his eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Cute.”

  “Stop,” he hissed while he averted his eyes. Lifting my hand, he threw daggers at me with his eyes and mumbled. “I didn’t mean that. Just stop talking, I am trying to sleep.”

  Definitely a hostile dragon who wants things his way. Puffing cheeks, I twirled fingers through his soft white hair while my eyes were stuck on the television screen. It was captivating and relaxing to sit here with a personal heater on my lap asleep. I find this can be as relaxing as the classroom. He could substitute Hopper in bunny form. Then Hopper can finally have free time besides having me pinch his fluffy ears while I struggle to sleep.

  I should be thinking about runes on the television or my runes, except, I was thinking about Lawliet’s. Scanning his face, down his throat and then was getting aggravated at his long-sleeved top. I contemplated in taking hold of his hand to focus on the runes on his fingertips or to watch runes I have seen countless of times on the television screen.

  Oddly enough, I find that I have become daring since coming to Mage Academy. To rephrase that, I have become bold and was knowing about it. I have, when it comes to runes, always moved towards it mechanically without caring if I bothered someone. I find, when it comes to Lawliet, I tend to think a lot more before doing it because I don’t want him feeling uncomfortable or awkward. It is precisely like befriending a dragon. An impressive dragon I cannot help but think of. A sick twisted aneurysm that was spreading like ink in my brain and was soaking up every other thought and placed Lawliet in them all. It was taking up space because I find him a compatible ‘more friend’ and want to do more things than just runes with him.

  I believe this is what being attracted to someone is, except I am afraid of openly admitting it until everything is done and dusted. Right now, I doubt I will tell him how I feel, not until after this Rokk dilemma, also finding out what my Grandfather is trying to tell us and when I am in the right mindset with Mum and Dad. All I want is to bring someone into a broken house when his home has already been shattered. It isn’t inviting.

  “Eileen,” Blinking, I looked down at Lawliet who was staring drowsily at my hand that was stroking his hair but is now in his hands. “What happened?”

  “I burned it in the oven,” I admitted lamely.

  “Certainly, not useful with domestic life. That’s ok. We will make some runes too . . .” he trailed off and went back to sleep clinging onto my hand.

  He has never portrayed himself to be a sleep talker in class. Makes me wonder was he actually asleep whenever we were in the east tower or pretending. It would make sense on how he would wake almost instantly at the slightest of sounds when he is slouched on the table with his eyes closed. It is either that conclusion or the way he may sleep. The more relaxed he is, the more he can let go of nauseating tension.

  “Runes for what?” I persisted.

  “. . . Not going to happen,” Lawliet opened his eyes and glared at me. “Don’t talk to me when I am sleeping.”

  “You spoke to me,” I complained, and his eyes widened, a lot, busted from his midnight conversation while I was half asleep but still reciprocating sound. “It’s ok to be scared.”

  “Shut up,” he looked away and heaved a sigh. “I hate talking about them, and I know you do as well. Trying to act tough doesn’t get you anywhere. Besides, you talk too much when you’re around me. I hope I am not influencing you to do so.”

  “Maybe,” I responded.

  “Not that much of a droid anymore,” he chuckled lowly.

  “I wondered as well if a kiss will make me normal and not a droid.”

  “I was merely observing why you slept. A theory if you must know,” he explained with a slight yawn. He revealed pearly white teeth. His canine sharp and pointed.

  “How’d you come up with that answer, dragon?” I asked as I leant down with curiosity.

  “They used to tell me fairy tale bedtime stories,” he mumbled with embarrassment.

  By them, I am assuming it was his parents.

  “Is this a fairy tale?” I replied.

  “Probably not. If it were, you wouldn’t be here. You would be with that stupid wanna be soccer Dad,” he growled angrily.

  “Who?”

  “Spencer,” he answered.

  “I see,” I murmured as I still twirled a finger in his snow-white hair. “He told me he liked me.”

  “Hmm, did you just stare at him blankly like a droid?”

  “I said I didn’t know him that well to like him, so he asked if it was because I was in love with you, Lawliet.”

  “And..?”

  I shrugged and looked away. I don’t really know what to say at this time.

  “You always do that. Shrug when you don’t want to answer.” Lawliet sat up and brushed the strands I was playing with to the back. They flopped down messily. It made me have this urge to touch and fix them up. “You do it
constantly.”

  “I know,” I agreed dully.

  “. . . You’re so stupid. Don’t change.”

  “Ok?” I questioned, but he didn’t elaborate on it.

  “Did you want a shower? I can get your clothes.”

  “Can I come?” I asked, and he nodded slowly. I think he might have been wondering if I was sure.

  I wasn’t sure. Nowhere near sure to see my parents or my brothers who were probably pretending to be one big dysfunctional happy family. It is not in my best interest to be playing house once again, however, as soon as we knocked on the door, I wanted to step behind Lawliet and cover. No matter how strong I may seem, I am still afraid of my parents. They are undeniably smart and intimidating. Thankfully, that it was only Hopper who opened the door, except he doesn’t seem overly pleased to see the dragon standing with me. Raising an eyebrow, Lawliet twitched a lip with amusement as Hopper stood aside and let us through.

  “My Mistress. Your mother and father are not home if that was the reason that you came back. To talk.”

  “Clothes. I don’t want to be here when they’re here,” I murmured softly. Barely audible.

  “My Mistress,” Hopper tried to plead as I walked down the hallway and into my room. “You cannot be thinking of staying with Mr Clarintine. It is unorthodox. To sleep in the same house with the opposite sex that isn’t family.”

  “Far out,” Lawliet grunted. “I am not a creepy fucking mage. I won’t touch her.”

  “He won’t have the time,” Nixon and Donte came in, and I eyed their bags suspiciously. “We are staying with them.”

  “I don’t think so,” Lawliet hissed. “You two are god damn assholes.”

  “You should make friends with the brothers if you want to get the girl,” Nixon smiled innocently. “We are your gate. Impress us, and we will let you in.”