Emotionless: (Prototype: Zero book 1)

by Shaina Anastasi

  The back door to the rave opened, and there was pounding music that grated eardrums. It exploded any sense of awareness as a creature in human form walked out. She noticed me and her dull eyes narrowed further. Whatever crystal was gleaming in her hands was quickly pocketed, and she walked away with her eyes still glued to me suspiciously. With a half roll of the eyes, I went through the door she came out of and landed in a place I really didn’t want to be involved with.

  It has been close to a year since I stepped foot into this place and I was vowing that that was the last time. Being down here, where a lot would try to kill me doesn’t sound so energy conservative.

  Pushing creatures to the side as I walked, some stepped down, averted eyes with the harsh monotone voices of, ‘the dragon is back’, which tends to make a blood vessel burst and grated teeth.

  It pisses me to the extent of something crazy when I hear the word dragon. There is a name that I was given, they know it, fucking use it. However, one mage has said dragon, and it didn’t bother me. As I looked around and locked eyes on two ignorant idiots gambling on a fight, I couldn’t help but be reminded of Eileen. Donte and Nixon’s twin, Eileen Frost has fundamental similarities to her twins. Same coloured hair, eyes, skin colour and shape of the face. Except she is considerably small and fragile as a doll would be. Porcelain. I don’t get angry when she calls me a dragon. It could be either because when she says it she doesn’t bare an expression of disgust or an expression at all or it may be because I find her attractive and am crushing on her. Probably both. Mika calls me dragon sometimes jokingly, and that pisses me off to the extent that I really want to throw something sharp and pointy at him.

  Leaning down to where they were crouched, I hissed, “Your sister is worried about the both of you.”

  The mention of Eileen raises their attention, as they straightened up, bailed on their gamble and grabbed the coin they have already won. They turned towards me with serious faces. Glancing at the two, analysing the features trained into me, I narrowed into Donte longer before I looked away and confirmed my suspicions about him.

  “What’s wrong with her? Is she ok?” Donte demanded over the noise of the high-pitched sound.

  “We called Hopper to go find her because we thought it was dangerous,” Nixon piped in, their voices were so fucking annoying right now. “Did her night and shining armour come get us for her? Aren’t you sweet?”

  “Shut up,” I said hoarsely. I was already feeling the pain of a headache. “You two shouldn’t be in here. Do you know what they do to mages down here?”

  “Then why are you here?”

  Tightening jaw, I turned and walked away. I wasn’t caring if they don’t follow. For all I care, a creature can pop up and . . . Breathing a sharp breath out, I turned around to see if they were following. Luckily, the dimwits were. They looked like a dog that has been caught doing something wrong. With their tail tucked between legs, they walked, ashamed.

  Close to leaving this tunnel, a hand grabbed my arm, and I stared daggers at the creature who thought it would be a superb idea to try to fight me. Narrowing eyes, I twitched a smile, and they pushed back. Their hand ripped away from my arm. They stumbled down, and I flexed fist, ready to knock them out when they crawled away and danced with the other lunatic creatures in this place.

  It makes me sick.

  Shrugging past the guard who stood at the foot of the doors exit, we walked down the darkened hallway when something caught my attention down another passageway. Stopping for a millisecond, I noticed a twitch of something inhumane on either side of their body. Narrowing eyes, I looked away and guided the oblivious dickheads away from someone that will kill them if I wasn’t here.

  I find my life complicated. As the creature before me is the one Eileen desires is also the one who really wants her dead. Valeria The Last, the reason this place exists. The only creature who holds the longest grudge of hate is the one Eileen wants. Strangely, what doesn’t make sense is the reason she saved her from the raging creature.

  All this thinking is making my head hurt. All I want to do is sleep, however, when we climbed back up, I felt refreshingly aware of my surroundings, as the sun is well set and darkness of night came out. Looking around at the gleaming stars that twinkled in the night sky, my eyes landed on the large bell tower up at Mage Academy.

  “Lawliet, are you coming to ours for dinner. Hopper won’t mind,” Nixon said with a wicked grin. It made me repel away from them further.

  “It will be a family gathering. Mum, Dad, Hopper. Wouldn’t it be fun, being a part of our family,” Donte smiled broadly?

  “This is the prime reason why we can never be friends. I hate both of your guts. No, I am not going to be playing house, I will see Eileen tomorrow sometime,” Glancing back up at the bell tower, I narrowed eyes and tightened jaw. “There’s something else I have got to do,” I muttered before separating from them.

  Walking on the rotting wood pillars of the bell tower, I ducked under the chipped part of the large copper bell engraved with the woven essence of magic that gleamed softly around the hem of the bell. Straightening up, I stood inside the bell. The darkness was suffocating and wrapped around as I peered along.

  It never occurred to me that this may not work. That being here without Eileen Frost means nothing. My second thought, as I noticed the glowing blue lights was ‘would it be wrong of me to watch and seek out knowledge of Eileen’s grandfather while she sits in her room and waits for her brothers to get home’.

  It seems like an intriguing notion. To step outside of this bell and see what she was up to, or even to walk around aimlessly until sunrise and wait out the exhaustion that sweeps at first light.

  Sighing irritably, I raised my hand and pressed it against the rune when nothing happened. One of the many blue runes dulled and the static of essence of magic was gone. What was left was a dead rune.

  “Shit,” I muttered, turned and groaned a little louder. “What do you want, besides to torment me?”

  “Curious,” Mika leant up and touched the dead rune. After a smooth swipe, he lifted his fingers off it and rubbed them together with mild interest as he looked up at me. “’A game you and a friend can play’” he quoted the poem Gospel Frost left his granddaughter. “It wouldn’t really be a game if you were playing it by yourself, correct? So, where is the little doll?”

  “Doing something stupid,” I answered and moved away from the dead rune. “She has decided to drop figuring out the reason behind the betrayal and now wants to find Valeria.”

  “That’s troubling,” Mika grimaced. “Does she know Valeria is partial to the reason as to why mages are becoming non-existent?”

  “Do you not have any idea where the fuck they have been for the past sixteen years of Eileen, Donte and Nixon’s life? Sheltered would be an understatement. Their parents, I don’t like them. Hiding shit from their children and always being absent. No wonder they are all cracked.”

  “Are you talking about them or your previous situation?” Mika said as he stared intently at a rune. “By how angry you are, I assume a little of both. You care about Eileen. Teenage love is the purest and dumbest expression of interest I have ever heard. However, that doesn’t categorise you and the little doll.”

  “How did we shift into this topic,” I muttered to myself.

  “I don’t know,” Mika shrugged with a small smile. “Maybe I am too curious as to what the Frost family is hiding.”

  “You’re always curious,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “You wouldn’t have agreed to be principal if you weren’t curious as to what is happening in Sorcerer City.” Glancing down at him, I said, “So, what do you think happened to Eileen to make her so passive?”

  “Something traumatic I presume. Why do you ask?”

  “The servant of hers came to the classroom one time. I must have said something she didn’t like because of the look in her eyes . . .”

  “Do tell.”

  “Dead. There was nothing there
. Usually, I could know what she is feeling because of her eyes, but she turned to me and looked dead. It was fucking weird. Emotionless.”

  “Interesting,” Mika mused. “Emotionless. Just like he used to be before the Phrelale flower blossomed.”

  “What?”

  “Oh, nothing. I need to research more on this Emotionless.”

  “Whatever,” I rolled my eyes and demanded. “What’re we going to do?”

  “We are going to jump through her memories discreetly.”

  “Because the last time your kind of stumbled right on through like the little kid that you are.”

  “It was fun. Stumbling makes you see things you’re not supposed to.”

  “Eileen?” I asked, and he nodded. “What?” I demanded.

  “You’re persistent,” he smirked, and I narrowed eyes. For good reasons. Eileen is special to me. I thought through clenched teeth, and Mika chuckled. Annoyed, I straightened up from my half-angered crouch at this termite of a guardian. “Shall we go see this special girl of yours?” he asked.

  “I said it aloud again, didn’t I?” I said as I ducked under the chipped part of the bell.

  “You tend to do that when you think too hard,” Mika chuckled darkly. “Oh, how adopting you was the funniest thing I have ever done.” Deeply heaving, I pressed fingers to temple and wished for a headache to disperse. “Oh, lighten up. It is the era of the dragon.”

  How does that . . .

  “. . . This is stupid,” I said gloomily.

  Part 2.

  Memories or Lies?

  Chapter 29.

  Eileen Frost – drowning.

  There was no motivation when I woke groggily, so I was thankful that it was still the weekend and a day off. I rolled to the side and faced the white walls when my eyes began to droop. I was drifting when the door creaked open, and the smell of Hopper's cologne wafted through with the crisp cold breeze.

  “My Mistress?” Hopper said. The bed bent, and I propped my head on the pillow and looked into the soft eyes of the bunny with fluffy ears. “Are you alright?” he asked, and I shook my head. He went from caring bunny to overprotective must give my Mistress everything she wants mode. “Water? Lemon water? Maybe a hot drink considering it is cold outside? Oh, I know!” he stood from the bed, straightened up and slapped a fist into his palm. “My Mistress loves dragon eggs! I will cook my Mistress as much as she –”

  “Hopper,” I sat up, and a wave of nausea hit me very hard. Hopper instantly leant down when half of my next words were caught in my throat. “I don’t feel so . . .”

  That gut-wretched feeling, as I struggled to push the rising motion down, however, it inevitably convulsive out of me and all over the smooth ironed black and white butler suit of the Shapeshifter who was trying to care for me. Throat burning, saliva dribbled out afterwards, and I wondered why I am so sick considering that I was okay before I fell asleep. With a pulsing headache and movements, everything turned dizzy, and I leant forward, thumped into his shoulder and closed eyes.

  “It’s ok. Close your eyes for a little. I will run you a bath,” he stood with me in his arms when Isilies voice came in quickly, too fast for my brain to keep up and moments later, I was shifted into his arms. An intake of breath when Hopper said, “Don’t,” a little too firmly, as he quieted Isilies from speaking further and swiftly moved me out of the room and to the bathroom.

  It was a wave of burning coldness, bitter and crisp that was removing me from the heat of mine and into the dimly lit hallway and into the bathroom. Still, drowsy, very sleepy, the sound of the rushing water was inviting me to sleep when I felt the sickness rise. I leant forward and let the vomit spool over the floor. That was when I realised it didn’t look healthy for vomit. Well, yes, vomit never looks healthy. With chunks of carrots when I didn’t eat carrots and the stench revolting. However, it wasn’t the smell nor the pieces. It was the colour that worried me. Covering the ground was thick blood, and it began to worry me as to how sick I really am.

  Feet went into the heated tub first. Socks still on, no one took them off nor the clothes I was wearing. Blurry eyed, I looked up and noticed Isilies was staring at me through suspicious silver eyes. After a second glance, he looked away and towards the tiles as if he has never seen the bland, dull white tiles before in his life. Leaning against the ceramic tub, I tilted back and listened to the distraught voice of Hopper who I assume is on the phone to someone while Donte and Nixon stared, horror-struck before they murmured, in the tiniest weakest voice, “It is happening again.”

  It peaked my curiosity. And as much as I want to ask what they meant by that statement, the fear of throw up crawling up my throat made me keep my mouth shut for now. Other than the concerning matter of them knowing what was happening to me, I tried to remember last night, but the hazy sweep of nausea swept through and clouded whatever thought I tried to grasp. All I could do is close my eyes and rest as Hopper, who came in after the phone call, began washing my face gently. His fingers were soft.

  “What do we do?” Isilies asked Hopper.

  “If her condition worsens within the day, your parents believe the best thing for her is to do what they have done previously before.”

  “I don’t think we can handle that,” Donte’s voice sounded broken. “I won’t let you strip her of her memories again!” he cried out.

  “I understand how you feel, master, but your parent’s words are absolute, and if she does get worse, she may not come back. It is a risk I am willing to take. I’d rather her have no memories to look back on then a . . .” he trailed off. Not just Hopper, all their voices began to drift, an erring silence and darkness suffocated, as I felt my body slip down under the water and drown me from this world.

  “Donte, I am scared,” a whisper, tiny bell voice broke through the darkness.

  “Don’t worry. Big brother is here to protect you,” a childlike voice of Donte I hardly recall responded back to the girlish voice.

  The cloudy haze diminished and the nauseating feeling, as well as the sickness that plagued me, was gone. What is here, however, is still the darkness. However, it isn’t the terrible everyday darkness. It was a familiar feel, as I brushed the tip of cotton, I realised that I was standing in the cupboard.

  The slither of light from the crack underneath the door showed two pairs of small feet on the other side of the closet, huddled together, and was meshing into a great ball of bleak blackness. Their words, as weary as it may be, sounded almost play filled and exciting. It instantly made me suspicious when the door burst open, and Nixon came in with a wave of messy brown hair. He looked around, silver eyes connected to two young children who were grinning up at Nixon who wailed, “FOUND YOU!”

  All three, brimming with sheer happiness ran after each other, one of them, with a tumble of brown hair, laughed merrily, as silver eyes danced with mischief almost as identical as the diabolical brothers of hers do. The smile, however, tugged at my heartstrings. A bright, innocent smile that I cannot remember spread widely across her face.

  “I don’t understand,” I murmured, as I watched all three of them chasing after one another.

  It is a nightmare plagued into a dream. Recurring and never-ending dreams of another me when I was thrilled inside and out. A girl that could spread joy with a singular smile and brighten up anyone’s day as she cheerfully jumps around, and pretends to be the one animal I adore. A rabbit.

  A nightmare, I confirmed, because this is what I always wanted to be like. Maybe not this out there and energetic, but a mage who can express herself openly without a struggle was a mage I desired to be for as long as I remember. I cannot remember what a smile would look like on my face, and here this nightmare is doing it without a struggle.

  Aggravated, I tried looking away, but it was as if a greater force was keeping me from turning into a different direction. A demon that was compelling me to look and watch from the sidelines of a girl I used to be. A girl that truly was happy and could remember what happiness f
eels like with the expression on her face. How could this be me, and why cannot I recall this young girl, as she hopped around in a white rabbit suit. Hopper, Donte and Nixon were watching on with crackling humour.

  Sitting down on the white sofa that was overlooking the big glass windows, the garden with vibrant coloured flowers displayed on the other side dripped with fresh droplets of water from the rain above. As darkened clouds loomed outside, a family of four laughed heartily on the inside. I stared, barely batting an eyelash and sat with no emotion. A new found hatred for my mum and Dad stirred for making me this monster with no feeling.

  Why did they take my emotions away from me? I wondered as I sat with little to no patience and wondered when this nightmare is going to end.

  Chapter 30.

  Nixon – Am I actually Nixon?

  A day has gone, and school never stops for anyone. Still half asleep, I stumbled out of the bedroom and down the hallway. Instincts kicked in, and I flickered a look at her door. It was slightly opened, enough for me to see someone in there with her, crouched beside the bed. Lowering eyes, I pushed the bathroom door open and went in at least to wake myself up before going to class.

  The smell of salted bacon and herbed eggs lingered into the crack of the door and made me hop on one foot as I put the uniform on. Half dressed, I flew out and ran to the kitchen to see Hopper was already placing the food on the plates. Three. I suppose it was normal for him always to put out a plate for all of us.

  As down as we are because of Eileen's sudden illness – that I am almost positive is the memory potion – I can’t help but eat her food. I was starved because no one fed me last night. Everyone was lurking around her room and was waiting for her either to wake up or to spiral deeper into her mind and unlock all memories that should be long-forgotten and erased.

  After almost finishing Eileen’s breakfast, Donte walked out with darkened circles under his eyes and hair a mess. It was hitting Donte harder than me. He has always had a connection with Eileen. They were inseparable before her memory swipe. It is somewhat funny. They would play tricks on me. Not just Donte. She was pure evil with her manipulative ways. We tended to do whatever she wanted. It was fun, until . . .