Breaking Elle

by Antoinette Candela

  “Well, you make it hard for a guy when you dress like that,” He says, shooting me a pointed look.

  “Are you giving me shit about what I’m wearing to work?” I mock, throwing my hand on my hip, modeling my white shorts and black tank top. No skirt today. Thank God.

  “Geez, let me rephrase that; you look very attractive today. Better?” He raises his eyebrows and grins. “So anyway, we need to order some first aid kits.” He says, reading some plaques that are hanging on the wall.

  “We’re running low already?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I know Reed needed one. He fucked up his hand today.”

  “Is he okay?” I ask, surprised. Swamped at work, I haven’t seen Reed since I heard about his one-night stand with Mindy. I remember her name from Evelyn’s ranting. I’m keeping a low profile at the center since what happened with him; avoidance is my best bet. Who knows how many others he has had over the past few days? This is the first time I’ve actually thought about him. I haven’t had the opportunity or desire to interact with him unless it involved work related issues.

  “Yeah, I saw him punch the wall out on the courts. I didn’t press him because he looked like he didn’t want to talk about it,” he says, nonchalantly poking at the forms covering the desk. He sits down on the old plastic armchair facing me, propping his size thirteen’s on the desk. I wonder what has Reed all bent out of shape that he would hurt himself like that. I hope everything’s okay. There I go again.

  “Okay, I’ll put an order in. Is there anything else?”

  “Nah boss, just that for now.” He grins rubbing his hands together. “So on to some serious business.” He pauses, placing his elbows on the desk and smirks. “A bunch of us and Cane are going to meet at the pool later, so when you get a chance to come up for air, why don’t you meet us?” He agilely rises from the chair, winking as he steps back.

  “It all depends on if I get this work done.”

  “Just get it done. We’ll be out by the pool at seven thirty, after hours. No kids. If I don’t see you, I’m gonna come and drag you out.” He counters, rising from the chair.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you would love that.” I smile coyly.

  “I’ll do anything to get you in a bikini.” He grins scratching his head thoughtfully.

  “Cut it out,” I reply. Just like that, he’s managed to change my mood. I don’t know what I’d do without him as I stare at the piles of papers. The idea of relaxing by the pool after work actually doesn’t sound so bad. I dig through on a mission to get the work done so I can rejoin the living.

  Wow, she’s making this difficult. I know that she heard, because almost everyone at the center has. I’m pissed at Evelyn for flapping her gums, but more pissed off at myself. It kills me to see her looking at me like that. Sure, I may have screwed up, but I don’t deserve the silent treatment or the evil eye. It’s been a week, and she still won’t talk to me. Not even a hello or good morning. Shit. I cozy up to other girls here, but they aren’t Elle. I’ve gotten stares and winks all week from some of other female counselors. I could bag those girls if I want, but again, they’re not Elle. No woman can resist me once she gets to know me. Not to sound like a dick, but it’s true.

  This type of thing has never stopped me before. I’ve had plenty of these one-night stands. Shit passes and we all move on. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Pretend those feelings that passed between us never happened? Why does it matter to her who I sleep with anyway? She has Cane. I should let it go, leave her alone, and just do what I set out to do when I moved up here. Keep things simple and be with whom I want to be with. But it’s not that simple, not with her.

  Evelyn gave me shit about her friend Mindy and the way that I left her hanging by having my roommate kick her out. But what was I supposed to do? I had shit to do. I don’t have time to babysit my one-night stands. I kind of feel bad leaving her like that, but she’s a big girl. She seemed to know what she was getting into and I know she enjoyed it.

  “Watch it!” A tennis ball whizzes by my ear. That’s what I get for daydreaming about how to fix things with her. Fix what, though? She’s the one making a mountain out of a molehill. This is why I didn’t want the word to get around. I can’t fuck up again. My personal and work life can’t overlap. I’ve got to be smarter next time. I hope that another story will come out that will eclipse mine, and life will go back to normal.

  “Stop zoning out there, Reed or you’re gonna suffer a serious injury.” Tyler warns me a second time.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I wave him off, laughing.

  “Seriously, dude, this kid has got a wicked forehand.” Another ball shoots across my line of vision, and I duck anticipating another bullet.

  “Alright, alright!” I step out of bounds and monitor the progress from a safe distance. My phone starts ringing. I don’t recognize the number, but I break my rule about not answering unknown callers. Who knows? It might be someone important or maybe something about my family.

  “Hello?” I answer. As soon as I hear the throaty voice, I want to hang up. I say nothing as I trudge over to a secluded area under a tree, and wave to Tyler that I need five minutes. A large pit has settled in my stomach, and all I can think about is Momma and my friends back in Texas. I clench my fists, pacing back and forth across the court listening, only responding when necessary. I want to keep my contact with this person to a minimum.

  I squeeze the phone, picturing this person’s neck. I’m fucking pissed at myself for answering the phone and not sticking to my rule. How did they get my number?

  “I understand.” I thrust my hand through my hair in frustration. “I need more time.” I reply to the voice on the phone. My jaw hurts from clenching my teeth. I’m so mad that I can barely get the words to come out of my mouth. My fist meets the brick wall, but I don’t feel pain as I watch blood drip from my knuckles. I’m so angry that I’m shaking. I’m ready to strangle someone.

  “Sure... Yeah... Yes...” I’m not sure what they’re getting at. You asshole. I hate feeling defenseless, under someone’s control, but this is entirely my fault. The last thing I hear before I hang up is someone barking for another shot of jack.

  “Hey, you alright?” I shove my phone in my pocket and spin around to face Tyler. He glances down at my bloody fist and raises his eyebrows.

  “Yeah, man,” I say, pulling my hand behind my back. I scratch my head with my other hand. I hope he didn’t hear any of the conversation, not that he missed much. My bloody hand says enough about how the phone call went.

  “You’re gonna need something for that.” He motions with his chin at my hand. “The first aid kits are in the lounge if you need that wrapped up. It looks bad.”

  “I’ll take care of it in a minute, bro. I just need to make a quick phone call.” I nod, hoping he’ll let it go.

  “Alright.” He frowns.

  “Thanks, man.” I smile, anxious for him to leave.

  “No prob.” He pats me on the shoulder and heads over to the basketball court. People from Texas tell me that people from Boston are unfriendly. I guess I lucked out. The only person who’s been unkind to me is Elle, but I’m partially to blame for that. I keep a smile on my face despite the fact that I just got the phone call that could end everything I have here. I punch in Tommy’s number, worrying that he won’t pick up. Thankfully, he answers right away.

  “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you to call. What’s up?”

  “It’s good to hear your voice, Tommy.” I watch the blood on my knuckles as it starts to dry. My voice is tight; my breath catches in my throat. “I’m in need of a friend right now.” I exhale loudly. “What do you think about a trip to the Northeast? Hit a couple of casinos out here, have a little fun. Maybe lady luck will be good to us. You down?” I smile weakly. I haven’t been in a casino in almost six months, and I don’t know how much control I’ll have once I get there.

  “I’ll take care of things with your mom and book the flight today!”

  “Don�
�t tell her anything about this. I told her I was done with this. I don’t want to disappoint her. I don’t think she’d be able to handle it.” I brush my hand across my face. “When you get here we need to talk.”

  “I got your back. You know that.” His voice is reassuring, making me feel like I’m not alone anymore.

  “Is she there?” I smile thinking about her.

  “She’s sleeping. I’ll have her call you.”

  “No, I’ll call her once I take care of everything here.” I’ve got to protect my family.

  “Got it.”

  I know I hurt some people back home, but at the same time, they understand that I need to do this, especially Momma. Even after all of the things she went through, she let me. It was hard at first, but with her blessing, I was able to move up here. In exchange, I have Tommy’s promise that he will always be there for her to keep her and my sister safe

  I picked Massachusetts, this little state on the edge of the map with nice beaches and some good universities, so that I could get as far away as possible. I applied to and was accepted at a couple of places, but decided on Boston University. That’s what locked in my decision. At least I’m doing something productive while I’m clearing my head and getting away from things in Texas.

  “What happened to your hand?” It’s the first thing she asks when I walk into the office, her face creased with worry. She looks awesome today. Every day. This is the first time in days that I’ve really been able to look at her since she’s been avoiding me. I can’t have that. I don’t care what I have to do to get close to her. If I have to make her feel uncomfortable, then that’s what I’ll do. I know it’s selfish, but I’m not going to let this one slip away, not without a fight.

  “Oh it’s nothing, just a cut. I’ll be fine. Thanks for asking.” I hesitate, pulling my hand behind my back so I don’t have to explain what happened. She doesn’t need to know, and I don’t want to lie to her about it.

  “So, do you need something?” She flips through a pile of papers, pulls out a pen, and places it behind her ear, eyeing me critically. “Can you please make this quick? I’m really busy with this report.” Her chest falls as she exhales softly, falling back on the chair; she stares at me, waiting for me to speak. “Well?” She shoots me an annoyed look and all it does is make me more determined to win her over.

  Damn, the things I can do to this woman. She can push me away and avoid me all she wants right now, but I always get what I want in the end. I don’t want to have to imagine touching her, kissing her. I would give anything to have her in my bed, between my sheets, underneath me.

  “You look nice today.” I slide my eyes from her eyes to her chest.

  “Why are you doing this?” She replies, trying to hold back a smile.

  “Doing what?” I laugh innocently. Giving you a compliment?”

  “I know your type, Reed.”

  “Oh, yeah, what type is that?” I smirk confidently.

  “You’re trouble.” I totally agree with her, but it still doesn’t change anything. It only makes me want her more. “What did you come in here for? I don’t have time for small talk.” She looks away and types something in the computer.

  “You know, you’re so sexy when you’re angry. Has anyone ever told you that?” I enjoy watching her get frustrated with me. Knowing that I get under her skin makes me cockier by the second.

  “No. Most people I deal with don’t usually make it a point to piss me off intentionally and Cane never gives me a reason to get angry.” She snaps, turning to face me. “Can you cut to the chase and tell me what you want? I need to get back to work and so do you.”

  I want you. Go ahead and build this wall because I’m going to chip away at it until there’s nothing left between us. I grin. “I need to take a couple of days off. Something last minute has come up that I need to take care of.”

  “That’s fine. You need to find someone to cover your shifts. I know that Tyler is looking to pick up some extra hours, so you might want to ask him.” Her answer is businesslike.

  “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll ask him,” I answer, ready to eat her up.

  She angrily scribbles something down in an appointment book and peers back up at me, nonchalantly pulling her ponytail out, letting her hair cascade around her face. All I can think about is tugging her hair back and turning her face up so I can kiss her.

  “So, is your contact information current in case we need to get in touch with you?” She waits for my reply, biting on the tip of the pen. Her eyes reduce to slits, and her ruby lips are a tight line that I wish I could kiss.

  “Yes,” I answer. Fuck. Does she know how damn irresistible she is right now?

  “Okay, well, let me know when you talk to Tyler, so I can put him down on the schedule.” Her tone softens a little, but the way she’s gripping the pen right now tells me that she’s still annoyed. She should take all of her frustration out on me; God knows that I can make it all go away for her if she lets me.

  I’m jerked from that thought when she asks, “Did you hear me?”

  I shake my head; I’m so lost in what I’d do to her if I had her alone that I can’t form a verbal response. She waves her arms trying to get my attention.

  “Hello, I think we’re done here, right?” Her eyes flicker with anger. That fire inside of her is so fucking sexy.

  “Yes, yes, we are. Well, this was fun. You just made my day, ma’am.” I wink, sensing her blazing eyes on my back as I turn to leave. I know I just acted like an arrogant son of a bitch, but what do I have to lose? She probably already thinks I’m an asshole so I might as well have a little fun with her.

  Thankful that work is over and it’s time to relax, I dip my toe in the indoor pool and wish that I were at the beach on the sand with Cane. We need to go there for a getaway. I notice that everyone else is already in the pool except for Evelyn and Reed. Evelyn is laughing and giggling like a schoolgirl, flipping her hair, thrusting her chest out. She’s not holding back on anything. Rein it in girlfriend; less is more. Doesn’t she have any self-respect? I silently cringe, picturing how other girls must fall to their knees for him. From what I’ve gathered in the short time I’ve known him, he’s the type of guy that only likes to receive.

  “Dammnn, Elle.” Tyler whistles. “Is that what you’re hiding underneath your clothes these days? Cane is one lucky man.” He says, wrapping the towel around his neck and glancing away as if he’s in pain.

  “Cut it out.” I turn, blushing even though it’s just him. “Don’t act like you’ve never seen me in a bikini before.” I notice that he’s been working out. His abs are amazingly defined and his arms muscled and tight. Looks like he’s been hiding something under his clothes too, but I’ll just keep that to myself.

  “Just saying,” he murmurs. Looking back at me, he thrusts his hands through his wet hair.

  “Hey baby!” Cane grabs me from behind, wrapping his wet arms around my waist, dripping water all over my body. Tyler looks over at Cane for a second before he looks back at me. Why does he feel the need to make this awkward?

  “I’ll talk to you guys later,” Tyler finally says, walking towards Evelyn and Reed who still haven’t gotten in the pool. Evelyn hasn’t stopped flirting. I wonder if Reed gets bored with that kind of obvious display. I look away when his blue eyes fall on me and bat away the butterflies in my stomach. I stare at the wet tiled floor trying to recover. Thanks to Cane’s warm breath on my neck, it only takes a second.

  “What’s up with him?” Cane asks, nodding his head towards Tyler’s back and squeezing his arms around my waist.

  “I don’t know.” I tip my shoulder indifferently. I know that look. How can I not? I don’t want to acknowledge it. After Cane cheated on me, Tyler became a little more protective of me, and a little more distrustful of Cane. He hated that Cane hurt me, and never understood why I took him back. “Baby, I can’t believe you drenched me.” I smile, trying to pull away from Cane. “You’re so cold.”

 
“You look so irresistible in your bikini that it’s hard to keep my hands off you,” he whispers, kissing me on the shoulder and moving his wet body up against my back. Goose bumps dance on my skin, and it’s not because of the cold water anymore. “You’ve been hiding all day, but you’ve made it worth the wait as usual.” He moans, eyeing me hungrily in my red string bikini.

  “I don’t want to go in there. Come in the hot tub with me.” I lead him to the other side of the pool and away from Reed.

  “I’ll go anywhere with you, baby,” he says, playfully smacking my ass. I squeal as he pulls me into him.

  “Hey, guys.” The familiar male voice echoes around us and my insides quiver.

  Both Cane and I stop in front of the hot tub. I watch the bubbles foam up, picturing the blood in my veins doing the same thing. How is it I’m in the arms of the man I love and crave, and I’m instantly turned on by that drawl, the voice that makes my ears tingle? I glance over at Reed. He stands off to the side grasping his towel around his neck, causing the muscles to flex in his forearms. I spot a tattoo on his chest before I look up at his eyes.

  “Hey,” Cane says, standing behind me with his hands on my hips and his body pressed up against mine.

  “Hi Reed.” I manage to squeeze out of my mouth, crossing my arms across my chest, and feeling completely exposed in my bikini. I already get flustered around him when I’m fully dressed, and now he’s standing in front of me while I’m practically naked. I wish I considered that before coming out.

  “Hey.” He looks at me, keeping his eyes steady on my face. I can see that he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes up north. “I was just coming by to say goodbye. I am leaving for a couple days, heading out tonight. A friend is coming into town.”

  “Cool,” Cane replies.

  “Yeah, boss lady here gave me the okay.” He winks, unsmiling.

  “Just as long as you take care of your business.” I reply, pushing past the nerves. Get a grip. He came into your office acting like a complete ass; he’s not worth the time or the stress.