Breaking Elle

by Antoinette Candela

  Our gaze never breaks. Even as the heat from the sun burns on my skin, I feel a chill deep inside. It seems as if I am in a dream as the rest of the crowd parts for us and all sound is lost as he approaches. Reed is well aware of who I see. The strain in his smile and the way he softly squeezes my hand indicate that he’s not prepared, but he’s ready to face this. It’s inevitable.

  “Hi, Elle.” He stops, smiles at me, and acknowledges Reed with a slight nod. Reed does the same. I close my eyes, soaking in Cane’s familiar voice. I miss it but I know I have to move past it. Suffice it to say there is some tension in the air, so I force my eyes back open and respond.

  “Hi.” I’ve never experienced such an awkward moment in my life, meeting my ex like this who was my first for everything. I can tell it hurts him too, but I’m still angry with him for hurting me, knowing how hard it was for me the first time he cheated.

  “So, this is Miranda.” He steps away from her. “She’s my sister’s friend from college who came up to visit from New York City. Just showing her the sights today since my sister got tied up with something at home, but she’ll be meeting up with us later.” He says simply. She’s attractive, wearing a long flowery green sundress tied behind her neck with strappy tan sandals. Cane looks great too in the yellow shirt that I bought for his birthday.

  “Nice to meet you.” I can’t help wondering if she’s with Cane, and he’s just trying to spare me.

  “Same here,” she answers. “Boston is great.”

  “Yes.” I laugh. Her voice is shrill and whiny like nails on a chalkboard.

  “Is this your boyfriend?” She smiles sweetly, her eyes flickering over to Reed.

  The question throws me. I don’t really know what we are exactly and what’s happening. Cane’s eyes never leave my face. At times like this, I’d usually grab a strand of hair and start winding, but Cane knows what that means. I feel like jumping out of my skin. I glance over at Reed and then at Cane when Reed interjects.

  “We’re just friends.” Reed answers, looking directly at me. “Elle is my tour guide today. Seems my roommate neglected to show me around Boston since I moved up from Texas.” He laughs. I can tell he’s uncomfortable, but trying to be as accommodating as possible to diffuse the obvious tension in the air. It doesn’t work because Cane’s eyes now shift entirely onto Reed. There’s nothing friendly about his stare. He seems to shake out of his daze and returns his attention to me, a small smile touching the corners of his mouth.

  “Cool,” Cane replies. “Don’t let us keep you. It was nice seeing you, Elle.” I never see it coming, not like this in front of Reed. Cane steps forward and hugs me, and then whispers that he misses me, his lips brushing against my ear. He looks right in my eyes as he pulls away. I’m drifting as I look at him; the loss I feel is complete and it tugs at my heart. I want to keep what we shared, but it needs to be set free. From the look in his eyes, I’m not entirely convinced that’s Cane’s going to let me go that easily.

  “Whatcha thinking about?” Reed asks, cocking his head playfully. I soak in his voice and notice the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. It makes me forget what just happened with Cane, forget the past, and focus on the here and now with him.

  “I hope that you liked the tour today. I wanted to redeem myself from our last...,” I laugh, unsure of what to call out first meeting.

  “Date? I know. What do you call it? Seems so long ago.” He smirks and touches my hand. “To answer your question, perfect. Ten outta ten. Exceptional so far. I’ve seen more of Boston today with you than in the two months I’ve been here. Just one thing. The train ride?” He shakes his head and laughs, pinning his baby blues back on me. “No more train rides.”

  “That’s the consensus with most people.” I giggle.

  He grins crookedly, pushing his brown hair away from his face. His jeans and t-shirt cling to his body, and it looks like he didn’t break a sweat all day. I can’t believe I’m standing here talking to this gorgeous man who, only a few days ago, was just some hottie at work. I anxiously look past him, watching as the lights dim around the park signaling the fireworks show will be starting soon. “I think we should be heading back, or we’re going to miss the fireworks.” I motion towards the Esplanade.

  He grimaces, looking back over the crowd and back at me. “Maybe we can find a spot right here.” He waves his arm at a spot under a small tree, flashing me a boyish grin. “Unless you like fighting through large crowds and really need a blanket.”

  “No.” I shake my head thinking that right here on the grass, alone with him, is just right. “This is perfect.” I follow him to the tree where he sits facing the river. He pats the spot next to him, and I sit, crossing my legs out in front of me, clearly aware of the small smile on his face as his eyes travel up my legs.

  I lay on the grass next to him. He leans back on his elbow, looking up into the sky and then back at me, as we get ready to watch the show. “This is perfect,” he murmurs watching me as a breeze catches wisps of my hair and blows them across my face. He gently tucks the strands behind my ear, his finger brushing against my neck. I hold my breath with anticipation, unable to string a sentence together. I simply smile as he moves closer to me on the grass.

  The first fireworks begin to go off above us, lighting up the sky with a rainbow of dazzling colors that flash across his face. When he smiles down at me, his eyes slip to my mouth, and I melt. He licks his lips and slowly leans over me. My breath hitches at his movement. I freeze, waiting to see what he’s going to do. He touches my cheek with his fingers. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers placing his lips on mine. I feel the only fireworks that I will remember from tonight—his soft, sweet lips on mine, and his arms pulling me closer.

  I rise from the grass, watching as she grabs her phone from her purse to read a text, and think to myself that this shit can’t be happening, that this girl in front of me actually may feel something for me too.

  “Is it okay if Tyler and his date meet us out?” She looks up as I help her up from the grass and she slips on her flips flops so we can head back to our original spot to grab our blanket. I can’t get enough of the taste and feel of her lips on mine. We missed most of my first fireworks show in Boston. Well, not really. We kind of made our own. Elle is much better than some flashes of light in the sky any day.

  “Sure,” I answer, feeling her hand softly brush against mine as we walk back in the twilight. She reaches for my hand and laces her finger through mine. My breath catches from the rush I feel when we touch. When I look down at her, she smiles. I think she felt it too.

  “So, where we meeting Tyler?” I ask, trying to fight the big cheesy grin that wants to break across my face.

  “In front of the Half Shell. Probably can’t miss him. He’s with Phoebe, the girl from your party.” She laughs and swings my arm. God, she’s so damn stunning.

  “Oh yeah, Phoebe,” I answer. Not that I care. She breathes deeply, folding the blanket and placing it in her bag without looking at me. She wants to ask me something and I have a good idea what it is. “How do I know her?” I say folding my arms across my chest. She looks up and smiles softly, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

  “Really none of my business.”

  “My roommate Luke knows her. The first time I saw her was at my party.” You have nothing to worry about, trust me.

  “Hey!” Elle raises her eyes and her face lights up as Tyler and Phoebe walk up. Elle sizes up Tyler’s date before she says hi and gives Tyler a hug.

  “Did you guys see the show?” She asks as she pulls away. Stepping back next to me, her hip gently grazes my thigh. I’m fighting the urge to grab her. Tyler’s eyes track my every move. It’s not hard to tell that he’s only trying to protect her from getting hurt again. I totally understand that, but I’m not going to do anything like that to her.

  “Hey, Reed.” Tyler extends his hand to shake mine. I nod as he turns back to answer Elle. “Yeah. I hate the crowds though.” He looks back acros
s the river. “So, what do you want to do? I want to get outta here.”

  “I’m thinking ice cream.” Phoebe chirps. “I need some sugar.” I laugh at Tyler’s expression when he looks at Phoebe, the perky blonde wearing a blue and white skin-tight strapless dress. I know what kind of sugar is on his mind.

  “JP Links, next stop on your tour,” Elle says as she grabs my hand.

  Her touch is electric on my skin. I get this craving to kiss her hard like I did a few minutes ago. I know I’m in trouble. I’m in deep shit with her. I notice how Tyler glances down at our hands and back up at Elle before we leave. I’m not worried about this guy. I know it’s got to be hard having a best friend who looks like Elle.

  Tyler takes the hint, and he and Phoebe go off to their own little table to share their ice cream. I make sure that I’m not in his line of vision so that he doesn’t get the urge to interrupt Reed and me at any point. Tyler is easily tempted. He always seems to have this uncanny ability to show up at the most compromising moments.

  “So, why are Tyler and his date sitting all the way over there?” Reed asks, running his fingers through his thick brown hair. I find myself staring, imagining my fingers in his hair again, but this time pulling it. I clear my throat and look away.

  “I think Tyler wanted to spend some alone time with his date.” I answer casually, looking over at him as Phoebe feeds Tyler some of her chocolate sundae. Tyler glances between the crowd, catches me looking at him, and winks. I shoot him a wry smile and look back at Reed.

  “I notice the way he watches you. I swear, I thought he was going to kill me for holding your hand.” Reed grins, laughing a little.

  “Yes, I know he means well, but I have to put him in his place sometimes.”

  “Well, you can tell him he doesn’t have to worry with me.”

  I can’t fight the smile from hearing him say that for some reason. “I’m worried about your roommate. Two months in Boston and your roommate never brought you to JP Licks? That’s a crime.” I grin as Reed hands me my chocolate cone. I close my eyes, take a quick lick savoring the rich chocolate in my mouth, and feel the cold ice cream slip down my throat. Popping my eyes open, I blush, noticing how his eyes flick to my mouth when I swipe my tongue across my lips to lick off the chocolate. He swallows hard and almost drops his cone when the person hands it to him from behind the counter.

  “Actually, I’m kind of glad he didn’t. Watching you lick a cone is much more entertaining.” He winks before he takes a lick of his. “What is that saying? Something about ice cream and screaming?” Reed asks as we walk outside onto the open patio.

  I can only imagine what he’s thinking right now. I instantly feel this twinge of desire. The jolt of electricity from my stomach shoots down between my legs and is so intense that I need to lean against the wall. The sensation of heat grows, spreading wildly through me. I lick my cone again and watch as he does the same with a small smile on his lips.

  “Rainbow sprinkles?” I giggle. Reed’s cobalt eyes flash devilishly under the flickering strings of light that hang from the patio of the ice cream shop.

  “Yep. Always have to have rainbow sprinkles on my vanilla ice cream. My favorite since I was a little kid.” He shrugs his broad shoulders, smirking as he flips his eyes at me. I shoot him a long full look and smile coyly. “What?” He questions, looking at me and back down at his pastel colored ice cream. “Does this ruin my big tough guy image?” He grins, and when he licks his ice cream again, I imagine how sweet his mouth must taste. My breath quickens at the way his tongue swirls around the cone. He tilts his head and looks at me, smiling wickedly. Realizing my thoughts have turned inappropriate, I fish for something to say.

  “I find it rather sexy that you have a weakness,” I whisper.

  “So, chocolate is your weakness I take it?” He nods at me holding my chocolate cone covered in chocolate sprinkles.

  “Just a little bit.” I smirk taking a lick of my cone before it starts melting. “You wanna taste?” I ask innocently, but not really.

  His mouth tilts up in the corners. “Very tempting.” He murmurs as he takes a step towards me, his eyes floating over my cone then to my lips. I flush from head to toe. “But this guy prefers ice cream from you.” He says huskily, his lips brush softly over mine. “I could really fall in love with chocolate,” he whispers, pressing his soft, cool lips on mine.

  I taste the lingering flavor of vanilla on his lips and inhale, feeling a little dizzy from tasting him. I pull away, needing and wanting more, but not quite sure how long I can wait.

  “You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream.” I breathe softly.

  “What?” He says, pulling away slowly, his eyes trained on mine.

  “The saying,” I whisper, looking up at him through my lashes. “You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream.”

  “Yeah.” He shakes his head softly. “That’s right. I’d like to do that.” He purrs suggestively.

  “Do what?”

  The corner of his mouth lifts in a sexy smile. I know full well the game he’s playing, and I don’t care. I’m still reeling from the after effects of his kiss. Placing his hand on my chin, he runs his thumb along my jaw line and leans into me. All I can do is stare into his deep blue, blazing eyes.

  “Thanks for tonight. This is the best time I’ve had since I’ve moved here. How can I top this?” He murmurs, his silky voice sending shivers down my spine.

  “Surprise me,” I whisper breathlessly.

  “I will.”

  It was hard enough to stay away from her when I couldn’t have her. Now that there’s nothing to keep us apart, I can’t get enough of her. I don’t think I ever will. The more I get to know her, the more I fall. I never thought that any girl could get to me like this. I know she’s still fragile. I can see it in her eyes. She’s afraid. I only want to make her trust me, to protect her, to make her happy. These are unchartered waters for both of us.

  I stare at the ceiling and wonder how I will ever be able to tell her half the crap I’ve been through. There’s so much she doesn’t know about me. Should I tell her before we get in too deep? Should I put that all on her? Pull her down with me? Is that fair to her? I want what we’ve started to work. She’s right; I’m fucking trouble. I know this. That’s why I haven’t found any peace.

  My mind tells me I should leave her alone, while my heart tells me I need her. The thought of being without her now makes me sick to my stomach. I hang my head in frustration because my heart always pays for my mistakes, but not this time, not with her.

  I pull on my running shorts and lace up my sneakers. I shake off the little bit of sleep I got last night, and head into the kitchen, wishing I had the place to myself for once. Luke is cooking breakfast for his overnight guest who’s sitting on the couch channel surfing. Wearing one of his worn out college baseball jerseys, her long black hair is in a ponytail and her tanned legs curl up underneath her. Like me, Luke has no problem picking up some good-looking girls. It’s seems that Luke has a different lady friend every other night. I feel as though that’s not me anymore, and I don’t think I will miss it at all.

  “Morning, sunshine!” He jokes. “You want some pancakes?” He grins through droopy eyes. Looks like the late nights are catching up with my roommate.

  “Nah, man. Not unless it’s take out. I don’t trust your cooking.” I scratch my head laughing, watching him move awkwardly around the kitchen.

  “Shit, man. I’m a chef.” He turns to flip one of his burning pancakes.

  “The last time I checked, you managed to set a pizza on fire in the oven, and it looks like you’re not doing much better this morning.”

  “Dude, I was drunk that night. I couldn’t read the box. Honest mistake, man.” He cringes, throws the sooty pancake in the trash, and then pours more batter into the sizzling hot pan.

  “We won’t be seeing your ass on Food Network anytime soon, Champ.” I laugh, shooting him a questioning smirk regarding the girl si
tting on the couch.

  “Damn, where are my manners? Reed, this is my friend Diana. Diana, this is my roommate, Reed.” He waves the spatula, grinning from ear to ear.

  “Hey there,” I reply. She turns and smiles, then returns to the TV without a word. Luke shrugs his shoulders and frowns, turning to flip his pancake before it burns.

  I grab a bottle of water in the fridge, imagining Elle sitting on the couch with one of my t-shirts on. I know I’m jumping the gun on this, but it’s always nice to have something to look forward to. I head out the door to meet her at the track. I can’t wait to see her this morning. I live for this, to see her. She makes my problems disappear.

  She’s always early. God, I love watching her. Running with her is the only thing that gets me out of my bed with a smile. I would like nothing more than to wake up with her in my bed. She’s one of those girls that you wait a lifetime to meet. So perfect for me, but also flawed in her own way. That makes her so damn sexy to me. That and the fact that she’s wearing red. Fuck, I just died and went to heaven. I wish I could see her tonight, but I’ve got a big card game with Tyler and some high rollers I met at the casino during my last trip with Tommy.

  I shield my eyes from the sun so I don’t lose sight of her as she stretches under the tree, her hair falling across her face. I get a vivid image of her under me, touching her, feeling her skin against mine. That alone makes me run across the field in a full sprint. A couple of long strides into my sprint, pain shoots up my leg and brings me to my knees. Holy shit. The ache is so fuckin’ unbearable. I fall back on the grass grabbing my knee to my chest. It’s been over a year since my surgery. The same thing happened last week, but it wasn’t this bad. Doc told me that I shouldn’t feel anything like this, that I should be a hundred percent by now.

  “Reed!” Even when she’s yelling, her voice is music to my ears, melodic and sweet. She gazes down at me, her face creased with concern. “Are you okay?” She kneels down beside me, touching my knee with her hand. I’m so turned on by her in her running shorts and sports bra that I forget why the hell I am sprawled out on the grass.