Breaking Elle

by Antoinette Candela

  I clutch my head with my hand to try and contain the pounding pain that seems to cut through my skull every time I move. I attempt to sit up, but a searing pain rushes up the right side of my body, forcing me back on my pillow, and I clutch my arm to my ribs to restrain the growing ache. I notice that I am wearing the same type of pale blue gown that my momma was wearing a few short days ago, but it feels like years since I’ve seen her.

  “Reed.” I recognize the sound of my sister’s voice and turn to it; her face fills my hazy eyes. She lights up the room with her dazzling smile and the pale yellow dress she’s wearing. She looks like a ray of sunshine.

  “Hey.” I half smile, exhaling heavily. My throat is raw. I need a drink and my jaw is sore from all the punches I endured. I can’t imagine what I look like covered in bruises. Caleb was probably enjoying the fact that he wiped the shit-eating grin off my face. “How long have I been here?” I ask as Juju pours me a cup of water. I immediately gulp the water down when she hands me the cup.

  “A couple of days. You really got beat up,” Tommy answers. “Couple of broken ribs, broken arm, and a concussion. All in a day’s work for you,” Tommy chuckles, standing on the other side of the bed. I try to laugh but can’t, tightening my arm across my ribs instead from the pain that seems to push through every part of my body.

  “Stop it, Tommy,” Juju says, giving him a pointed look. “It could have been worse.”

  “Sorry little one.” He winks at her, and she blushes a sweet shade of red. I catch the look in my sister’s eye when she smiles back at Tommy, and I instantly miss Elle. I need to get out of here and call her. I need to get back to her.

  “How did I get here?” I groan, anxiously stretching my legs below me, the only part of my body that not affected by the attack, which is a blessing since I can’t have anything happen to my knee again.

  “You weren’t answering your phone, and Tommy found you at the hotel. You were robbed.” My sister answers as I glance over at Tommy. “You need to stay with me and Momma from now on. There are some crazy people out there.” I try to rebut, but she places her finger in front of my lips. “Case closed. It’s a done deal. I need my brother. You’re staying with us from now on. No more seedy hotels.”

  I grin, knowing that I have no say in this. I know I won’t win the argument with her, and I’m fine with that. I glance back over at Tommy who smiles and scratches his head; we definitely need to talk about details because I don’t remember anything.

  “Does Momma know?” I ask, glancing away to look up at Juju.

  “God no!” Juju explains. “Do you know what this would do to her? Can’t tell her something like this in her condition.” I watch her bright eyes grow moon size and her brow crease.

  “Speaking of condition. When can I get out of here?” I ask, staring at the thin gangly doctor hovering at the foot of the bed.

  “A couple more days and you’ll be all set to check out,” the doctor replies reassuringly, as he places the clipboard under his arm and the pen in the pocket of his white coat. I smile at him and laugh, thinking he kind of looks like Dr. House but without the fucked up attitude. I pay the price for it, courtesy of my broken ribs, cringing as I feel the pain race up and down my body

  “We’ll give you some more pain killers for that. You might feel sleepy, but if you want to get out of here, that’s what you need to do,” the doctor decrees.

  “I’m okay with that, Doc.” I smile. “What about this?” I say, slowly raising my bandaged arm. “How long do you think I’ll be in this cast?”

  “Give it about six weeks for both the ribs and the arm. You’re lucky they weren’t bad breaks.”

  Fuck. I can’t wait that long to get back to Elle, but I can’t have her seeing me this way. I can call her and let her know that I’m okay. I hope she’ll understand.

  “How does it feel to be released into the wild again?” Tommy says as we burst through the hospital doors out into the hot Texas sun.

  “Feels good. Really good,” I reply. I rise from the wheelchair, shielding my eyes from the sun while inhaling the fresh morning air. My lungs are singing right now. The hospital clogged every inch of my body with that sterile lifeless air. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you, but since they were pumping all of them painkillers in me for the past couple days, I was in a drug induced fog and didn’t remember shit.”

  “What’s up?” He asks, pushing the wheelchair back to the waiting attendant and falls in stride with me as we walk to his truck.

  “Who came up with that robbery story?” I deliberately make eye contact. “I know you don’t have an imagination to come up with something like that. Too many moving parts for you to put that together.” I laugh, punching him on the shoulder.

  “Hell. I made that story up. I didn’t want to face your sister. It’s hard keeping her in the dark about anything. She’s always asking questions.” Abruptly raking his hand through his hair, he glances at me. “Dude, I heard everything on your phone that night. It was some scary shit. I didn’t know what to do. After I heard all that, I went straight to the hotel, and you weren’t there. I waited all night, man. I didn’t know what the fuck happened to you.” He glances away and hesitantly turns back to me. My gut tightens when I see his nervous expression. “I even called Elle to see if you talked to her and well... she didn’t take what I had to say too well.”

  “Shit Tommy, you called her?” I whisper harshly, rubbing my head in frustration.

  “Yeah, man.” He frowns. “I didn’t know you didn’t tell her,” he says, raising his eyebrows.

  “Fuck.” I stop, pacing back and forth in the parking lot, raking my hands through my hair. I soak in his every word, imagining what Elle was thinking when she got the call. “What did you tell her?” I say pointedly.

  “That you were in trouble, man, and that’s all she needed to hear.”

  “Damn.” I mumble, thinking I took the gamble, and I lost with her, too.

  “Then the next night I got a call on your phone from someone named Caleb saying they just dumped you back at the hotel. You know I was in the truck in seconds to get you,” he says, as he makes his way around the truck and pulls out his fob to unlock the doors.

  “Caleb.” I laugh, remembering the little punk.

  “You told them something about the money you had in Boston, too. Do you remember that?” He questions, as we stop in front of his truck.

  “I don’t really remember anything from that night, but I know the only ones that know about that cash are you and I. So it must have come from me to save my own ass when I was getting the beat down.”

  “They said if they get that money, they’ll wait for you to get the rest of it when you sign that NFL contract that you’ve been banking on, and they won’t hurt anyone.” He smiles, sliding his hands in his pockets. “You plan on still trying out, right?”

  “Definitely. Probably in April,” I answer, scrubbing the back of my neck. Thinking that far ahead is making my head hurt. I need to focus on my current problems with Elle.

  “Well, that right there is almost a guarantee for you.” Tommy stops and clears his throat. “So, what’s the plan now? How do we get that money?” Tommy asks.

  “You need to go to Boston, get that cash, and bring it back. I can’t go back and risk Elle seeing me like this.” I breathe roughly, squinting into the Texas sun, and welcome the warm rays on my bruised tired skin.

  I can’t stop the tears of guilt that spring to my eyes when I think about her. That’s all I’ve been doing these past couple days since she hasn’t taken my calls. It’s impossible to keep my mind on anything but her. I remember the last time my eyes took her in at the airport, knowing that I wouldn’t get to touch her for five long days, but now it’s going to be longer than that. Maybe never. I recall her reaction to when she found out about me and part of my life back home. How do I explain this shit to her if she’s not picking up her phone? She’s probably already made her decision.

  I just want to e
xplain. If I can do that, I’ll be happy. I might be able to walk away and leave her alone so that she can go on with her life. The thought of not seeing her, being without her, hurts me more than I can handle and is a thought I wish I didn’t have to entertain.

  I saw the pain in her eyes so often, and it destroyed me every fucking time. I had to witness that shit, and feel the rage that would burn inside of me, not even knowing what was causing her all of that suffering. Now I’m not there to protect her, to hold her like I want, like I told her I would over and over again. Now I’m the one she probably needs to be shielded from. I never meant to do this to her. I want her to know that. I was going to go back and come clean, but like everything else in my life, others seem to dictate my path for me. I know that I somewhat have a hand in that too.

  Tommy drags me from reverie. “So, you haven’t talked to her?”

  “She won’t take my calls. I don’t blame her. I majorly fucked up. I shouldn’t bother going back, not until this is all said and done. I can’t risk anything.”

  “He agreed not to do anything if he got the money.”

  “I know, man,” I say. “It’s the in between I’m worried about. If she’s not taking my calls now, she might’ve already moved on. God knows that Cane would jump at the chance to get her back, and Tyler has been on the sidelines, chomping at the bit for me to fuck up so he can swoop in and save her. She told me from the beginning how she felt about a guy like me, and I’ve proven her theory right at every turn. I’m trouble, and I always will be.” I say. I hang my head, kicking at the dirt under my feet, wondering how I am going to fix this shit. I don’t think there’s anything I can do.

  “Not with her, you’re not. If she’s not going to take your calls, then go see her. Wait until you’re all pretty again, of course, and then go and tell her everything. You’ve never walked away from anything in your life, so don’t start now. This could be the biggest fucking mistake of your life if you do. You know that and I know that. I’ve never seen you like this over anyone. She might just be the one.”

  I knew I had to be careful with her, seeing her amazing passionate eyes filled with pain one too many times. I was trying to help fix her, and I wanted her to fix me, but I think all we did was cut each other on our broken pieces.

  “Fuck Tommy. I can’t wait six weeks.

  I don’t know where to begin. Eight months ago I typed Elle on a blank screen and from there Breaking Elle was born. I’m overwhelmed at the idea that I just published my first book. I’d never thought I’d be here writing acknowledgments to all of the wonderful people that dragged me away from the ledge so many times when I couldn’t see the light. They pulled me through with their encouraging words and motivated me to see this project through.

  There are so many people that I want to thank for shoving me and slapping me silly along the way. I’ve learned so much from so many fabulous people. So, now begins the wonderful process of thanking all of you one by one!

  A.L. Zaun, I am so grateful and blessed to have met you through Kindle Buddies. You are the first one who read my first chapters and saw the talent that I didn’t see. You yelled at me, complained about lack of comma use, answered all of my questions and was always up at the wee hours of the night when I needed someone to chat with or show me how real “research” is done. I sincerely believe that you are a major reason why I saw this project through. I needed that one person and I can honestly say it was you!

  Jennifer Short Benson, you are the beta reader from heaven that saved me! I owe you so much. To your fabulous brainstorming sessions where you came up with the most amazing ideas, for loving my characters as much as I do, to figuring out my ending, that I was stuck on for a whole month. If it wasn’t for you and our late night chats I don’t think my book would have come together. You came along at just the right time when I was about to give up on this book. You are an amazing, patient and wonderful person to put up with me and my craziness!

  To the girls In the Indie group, Carey, Michelle, Louise, Melissa, Chelle, Saoching, Suzanne, Megan, E.K, Julie, Miranda, for being there to answer all of my questions and cheering and encouraging me along the way when I was feeling lost and wanted to give up. You all are such talented writers who inspire me!

  To the ladies in ANGTFT your advice and support is priceless. I am so honored to be surrounded by a talented group of writers. Thank you so much for answering all of my questions and sharing all of your wisdom with me!

  To Ltmk Hooked on Books who coordinated my cover reveal, my blog tour and all the complicated stuff that I had no clue how to coordinate or put together. Louise you are wonderful and totally awesome. You made my life so much easier! I cannot thank you enough for what you did for me!

  To the Writers Block for being the first group I joined and the catalyst that got me here. You do not know how much you’ve helped me! Being part of this supportive and encouraging group from the beginning was the best thing that could have happened to me.

  To the countless betas that kicked my ass to make this a better book. For all of your wonderful ideas and suggestions and pushing me to make my story better. I am forever thankful for each and every one of you! Jenn D, Paige, Becky S, Becky C, Julie, Kristina, Lisa S, Nicki, Christina and Heidi.

  To Katie Mac, my editor for putting up with me and my constant nagging and last minute tweaking of my story and being so good under pressure. I loved how you quickly caught everything and how much you enjoyed my sex scenes. Writing them completely crippled me. You polished my little baby so that she sparkled like a diamond. Thank you!

  To Angela from Fictional Formats: For being patient with me as I tried to figure out my release date and for being so accommodating! Thank you for taking my manuscript and making it pretty and perfect! You are amazing at what you do!!

  To Jovan Carlton the talented photographer who took the beautiful photograph on my cover that captures my characters perfectly. I am so thankful and honored to have this gorgeous image on my first book.

  I know I may have missed a few during this whole crazy ride but just know that I appreciate and respect each and every one of you for helping me through this journey. I could not have done it without you all. Thank you!

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