New Beginnings

by Lori Maguire

  Carefully, I slipped out of the bed. The bathroom was empty. Where the hell was he? Usually, he could sense my distress. I paused waiting to see if he would come bursting through the door, but he never came.

  As I made my way downstairs, another pain ripped through my body making me gasp and double over. I needed to find Xavier and I needed to find him fast. I searched the entire downstairs for him, but he was nowhere to be found.

  I stopped and stood before the sliding glass doors. Could he be out there watching the snowfall like I enjoyed doing so much? Suddenly, I heard distant laughing. One voice was familiar, but the other made my blood run cold. Xavier was out there and he wasn’t alone.

  Sliding the door open, I hesitantly stepped out onto the deck. My cold, bloody feet slapped on the deck. There he was in the hot tub with some unidentified woman. In a matter of seconds, several emotions ran through me; anger, hatred, jealousy, and finally sadness.

  They both appeared to be naked and laughing. His eyes widened with surprise as soon as he saw me. No! Not again. How could he do this to me?

  The instinct to run surfaced. This scene was something I had to get away from and as quickly as possible. I turned to head back into the house. Bloody footprints covered the ground through the trail of blood I left behind. I dropped to the ground feeling weak and exhausted and in horrible pain. I was losing the baby. I was losing Xavier. I wasn’t going to survive this.

  My eyes sprung open in a complete panic as I gasped for air. I was covered in a fine sheen of sweat. My heart was pounding. Xavier. I glanced over only to find that he wasn’t with me. I needed to find him now.

  In a rush, I tried to get out of the bed not realizing that my leg was tangled in the sheet causing me to stumble. I threw my hands out as I landed face first onto the hardwood floor with a horrible thud. During my struggle to get my leg lose the sheet was pulled off the bed giving me a clear view of the fitted sheet on the mattress. There was nothing but the white sheet. It was just a dream, just one crazy, screwed up dream.

  I sat on the floor trying to calm my breathing when I heard heavy footsteps charging up the stairs. The door flew open as Xavier came bursting into the room. His eyes widened as he took me in on the floor. He rushed over to me. Strong hands grabbed me under my arms like a child and lifted me onto the bed.

  “Ella. My God! What happened, baby? Was it another dream? Did you fall out of the bed? Are you all right?” He was firing off the questions faster than I could answer. His hands gripped my shoulders. There was nothing but fear in his eyes. I felt foolish for having been the cause of it.

  “I’m … I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It was just a bad dream, but I’m okay now,” I rasped. I tried to ease his fear, but my voice was thick with a combination of sleep and unshed tears.

  Out of the corner of my eye, there was a movement by the door. Xavier looked toward the movement and simply nodded. The door closed quietly. Gabriel must have rushed upstairs with him.

  I cleared my throat. “Where were you? I woke and you weren’t here.” I couldn’t help the accusing tone. He flinched slightly at my accusation as a pained look came over his face.

  “I couldn’t sleep, baby.” He brushed the hair off my sweaty forehead. “I went downstairs and Gabe and Tiffany were still up. I never would’ve left you, sweetness, if I knew you were having such a bad dream,” he said apologetically, running his hands up and down my arms. “What happened? Talk to me, please,” he said beseechingly.

  Part of me didn’t want to tell him what I dreamt, but because I was desperate to put him at ease, the words started to spill out. “There was pain and a lot of blood on the sheet. I couldn’t find you anywhere here in the house until I …” I looked up at him feeling slightly panicked. I knew how he was going to react when I told him how I found him.

  He frowned at me. “Until you what, Ella? Go on,” he urged.

  I took a deep breath. “Until I … I found you outside on the deck in the hot tub.”

  He silently studied me for a long moment. “And was I in the hot tub alone?” he asked carefully.

  The one question I knew he was going to ask, and the one answer I didn’t want to give him. Unable to get the words out, I just shook my head at him. His expression grew dark. Anger flashed in his eyes.

  “So you dreamt about losing our baby and finding me in the hot tub with another woman.” It was a statement not a question. “I probably don’t need to ask, but was the other woman Karen by any chance?” he asked in a rough tone. His hands clenched into fists.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Her face wasn’t visible,” I said quietly.

  He looked like he was about to explode with anger. Letting out a string of expletives, he got up off the bed and walked over to the window. I sat shocked by his reaction for several minutes before I could speak.

  “I’m sorry. I know it’s stupid of me. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I mumbled.

  He dropped his head pressing his forehead against the cool window. “Ella, please don’t apologize. I’m not angry with you. The damage that Stephen’s actions have caused … what he’s done to you … I just don’t know how to deal with it sometimes. I do know that I want to strangle him,” he said in a dangerous voice as a fist pounded the windowsill.

  I hated to see him like this. I got up off the bed and walked over to him. Wrapping my arms around him, I laid my palms flat against his taut stomach. I felt a shudder run through him. Squeezing him tightly, I pressed myself up against him. I rested my cheek on his back, and he relaxed just a bit at my touch. As I breathed in his intoxicating scent, I felt myself relax a little as well.

  “Xavier, you have done so much in such a short time to reverse the damage caused by Stephen. The day I left New Jersey I felt so defeated and broken. I swore I would never learn to trust or love another man again. Then I met you, and in such a short time you managed to change my whole entire world. In a week we’re going to be married. In just seven months we’re going to welcome our baby into the world. I don’t even know how to begin to thank you for all that my life is now.”

  His head remained slumped with his forehead pressed up against the window. My words didn’t seem to have the desired affect that I had hoped they would. “How happy could I possibly make you if you have such horrible nightmares that involve me?” he asked sadly.

  What could I possibly say that would take that sadness away? I thought for a moment. “Because my stubborn subconscious hasn’t caught on to just how happy I really am with you,” I said jokingly but truthfully. I wanted to lighten his mood. It worked. He chuckled.

  “Have I told you yet today just how crazy I am about you?” He turned around and lifted me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Before he could say a word, I began to kiss him wildly.

  When I broke away, I rested my head on his shoulder. “Please, come back to bed with me. I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to sleep without you,” I whispered in his ear as I nuzzled his neck.

  Silently, he laid me down on the bed, stripped out of his t-shirt and sweatpants, and curled up next to me. He shifted me so my back was snuggled up to his front. A big, warm hand splayed across my abdomen in a protective and possessive way that I was starting to expect and rely on. I soon drifted into a dreamless sleep.

  When Xavier and I headed downstairs the following morning, we found everyone in the kitchen. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. The mood was light and jovial between everyone. I loved how quickly Tom and Renatta fit right in.

  When I came to Seattle just four short months ago, I never imagined that such wonderful people would surround me. I was born an only child, but here people that I considered to be family surrounded me.

  Everyone smiled at Xavier and I and said their good mornings. Xavier waited until I was seated at the breakfast bar before he set out to get his coffee and fix me some tea. Gabriel came over and sat in the available chair next to me.

  He smiled sweetly at me. “How
are you feeling this morning, Ella?” he asked softly sounding concerned. He rested a hand on my forearm.

  “I feel well, Gabriel. Thank you.” I said as I smiled back. I covered his hand on my forearm and squeezed it reassuringly.

  “I’m glad to hear, Ella.”

  As soon as he relinquished the seat next to me, Renatta sat down. “I heard there was a bit of excitement earlier this morning,” she said looking at me carefully.

  Xavier handed me my tea with a wink and a smile. “Thanks, hotness.” When I brought my attention back to Renatta, she had an ear-to-ear grin on her face that I couldn’t help but return. “I just had a horrible dream. Since the pregnancy, I swear my dreams are more vivid. I wake startled and disoriented after most.”

  She made a sympathetic noise. “So much has happened so quickly for you over the last several months, Ella. Most of those things have been good and positive, though. Maybe the dreams are just your body’s way of trying to cope with it all.” She squeezed my arm and gave me a small smile. “I’m always here if you want to talk.”

  “I know, Ren. I appreciate you.” She has always been my rock. I never realized just how much I relied on her.

  The timer on the oven dinged just then. “What are you cooking, Tiffany?” Xavier asked.

  “Yeah, it smells delicious,” Tom said.

  “A quiche,” Tiffany replied.

  The three boys looked at each other in surprise. “A quiche?” Gabriel asked incredulously.

  “Guys don’t eat quiche,” Xavier chimed in.

  “That’s girly food,” Tom said.

  Tiffany looked over at Renatta and me and rolled her eyes dramatically. Renatta and I just giggled and shook our heads.

  “If quiche isn’t good enough for you boys, then you are welcome to fix yourselves whatever you want, but the girls are having quiche.” Tiffany proceeded to cut the quiche and give Renatta and I a slice.

  It was delicious with its eggs, cheese, bacon, and a very flaky crust. “Tiffany this is fantastic!” I praised. Renatta, with a mouthful, enthusiastically shook her head in agreement.

  The boys ended up caving and eating the quiche. They wouldn’t admit it, but all three of them clearly enjoyed it. We polished off both quiches easily.

  It wasn’t snowing out, but Gabriel opted to go snowmobiling instead of horseback riding. I was pretty sure Xavier had something to do with that, but I didn’t argue. I really enjoyed it the last time we went out. We headed upstairs to get our snow gear on as soon as we cleaned up breakfast.

  Gabriel had three two-seater snowmobiles out front for us all. How many snowmobiles does he own exactly? I probably didn’t want to know the answer to that.

  Xavier carefully strapped on my helmet before securing his own. “You know I am capable of strapping on a helmet,” I said sarcastically.

  “I am fully aware of that, Ms. Martin. But why should you when I am here to do it for you?” He smirked at me.

  I climbed on the back and wrapped my arms around him tightly. My stomach did a little flip as he fired up the snowmobile. The thrill of the engine vibrating beneath me got me excited for the ride we were about to take. Xavier followed Gabriel and Tiffany out. Tom and Renatta followed behind us.

  Gabriel led us through several trails that Xavier and I hadn’t traveled last time. The views were spectacular. Gabriel was very familiar with his surroundings. Every time we stopped to admire the view, Gabriel was sure to point out a specific body of water or mountain peak, which included Lake Wenatchee, Dirtyface Mountain, Sno Cone Mountain, Entiat Ridge, and the Cascade Mountains. He also told us at one point that our highest elevation was at 3900 feet. Again, I bought my waterproof camera and took tons of pictures.

  During our last stop, as we gazed out at the Cascade Mountains, I noticed Renatta staring at Xavier with her mouth blatantly hanging open. I glanced over at him. He was standing with Gabe, pointing at the mountains as they talked. My own jaw went a little slack. I had to admit that he was quite a sight. The sun was out and the way his blue eyes glowed was breathtaking. It took every fiber of my being not to launch myself at him like I did last time. Instead, I threw a snowball at Renatta. There were only a couple of feet between us so the snowball I threw easily hit its mark.

  “Hey!” she protested with a look of shock on her face.

  “Hey nothing. I had to do something to snap you out of your little trance.” I laughed at her.

  She walked over to me. “Geez, Ella. He’s gorgeous,” she said with a dreamy look in her eyes.

  “Hey!” I bumped shoulders with her forcing her to look at me. “You’d better remember whom all that gorgeousness belongs to, lady,” I said with raised eyebrows at her.

  “Seriously, Ella. How do you manage to get anything done when you’re around that?” she whispered in my ear.

  “Last weekend when we went snowmobiling, I totally tackled him in the snow.”

  She raised her eyebrows at me. We turned to each other and started giggling like teenagers. Suddenly, snowballs slammed into both of our backs. We turned around at the same time to see Tom and Xavier standing there trying to look innocent. That did it. An all out snowball fight broke out with Gabriel and Tiffany joining in. We ended up having a snowball fight that was boys against girls.

  It was hard to figure out exactly who was winning. The boys had better aim, but the girls were making the snowballs much faster than the boys. I effectively ended the snowball fight by launching myself at Xavier just like I did last time. I just couldn’t resist. Those eyes, that wide smile, his laughter. I just had to mash my lips to his or I thought I would go crazy.

  He was anticipating it this time, though and easily caught me around the waist. I thrust my gloved hands into his dark, wavy hair and pulled his mouth to mine as I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly. He let himself leisurely fall back into the deep snow, and I soon found myself straddling him. The contact between us never broke. Not until I heard a comment from Gabriel, which suddenly reminded me that we weren’t alone.

  “I’m beginning to understand how Ella managed to get knocked up so quickly,” Gabriel said laughing. Tiffany, Tom, and Renatta joined in on the laughter.

  I smiled against Xavier’s mouth. My cheeks were a flaming red. He sat up with me on his lap. Grabbing my waist, he helped me to stand before he got up himself.

  “Don’t be jealous, Gabe. You know I was always hotter than you,” Xavier teased.

  Tiffany must have seen this as a challenge, because she suddenly was launching herself at Gabriel like I had just done to Xavier. But, Gabriel wasn’t as tall or as strong as Xavier, and he wasn’t expecting her to charge him like that. She plowed into him and they both fell back into the snow a tangled mess. Xavier roared with laughter, which had us all laughing.

  Hours later, we got back to the house. We ended up staying out much later than we all expected. By the time we got back, we were all starving.

  It was late enough that we decided to blow off dinner. Tiffany laid out the fixings for sandwiches. Gabriel mentioned that he had cheese, crackers, and a summer sausage that he could break out later.

  Tom and Renatta were eager to head to the center of town once we were through eating. Gabriel mentioned that the snowmobiles had headlights. Soon a plan formulated to go to the center of town and then hit another trail while it was dark out. Xavier was a little leery of the idea not wanting me to push it after the day’s activities. After much coaxing on my part, and several kisses later, he finally agreed.

  We drove the snowmobiles to the center of town and walked the street to admire the lights. This was the first time Tom and Renatta had been to Leavenworth during Christmas and they were both in awe. I enjoyed watching their faces and reactions as they took it all in. I imagined my face had looked similar to how theirs did when I first experienced Leavenworth at Christmas.

  Even though it was Christmas Eve, the streets were still a flurry of activity. It wasn’t as crowded as it was during the weekend lighting ceremonies, but
it was much busier than I expected.

  When the flurries started to fall, we headed back to our snowmobiles. We only stayed out for about an hour. Snowmobiling in the dark was really a treat. There was no moon to light up the snow tonight. There were no streetlights to light up the forest trail. Only our headlights were illuminating our way. The snow glistened when the light hit it. It was beautiful.

  My cheeks were freezing by the time we got back to the house. Between my helmet and the goggles, they were the only exposed part of my skin. Even Xavier’s cheeks were pinked up beautifully.

  Gabriel started a fire in the living room. Tiffany headed into the kitchen to cut up some cheese and sausage. Tom and Renatta curled up on the couch while Xavier and I went upstairs to change into sweats.

  By the time we got back downstairs, the four of them were curled up on the two couches sitting across from each other, drinking wine, eating, and laughing. Xavier plugged in his iPod and started playing Andy Williams Christmas album. I curled up on the couch facing the fireplace. Xavier came out of the kitchen with two glasses of water for us. He sat down next to me shifting me so I was curled up next to him.

  “Gabriel, thanks for being an awesome tour guide this afternoon. Your knowledge of this area is very impressive,” I told him.

  He gave me a shy smile. “Thanks, Ella. Xavier and I have been coming out here for years. I’m sure you knew already that my parents were big nature enthusiasts. I know Xavier has taken you to the Bloedel Reserve.”

  “He has,” I said, looking up at him fondly. “It’s where he proposed.” Xavier leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose.

  “Awwww,” Tiffany said with a dreamy look in her eyes. “That is so sweet. I had no idea.”

  “Let me guess. At the reflection pool?” Gabriel asked.

  I looked at him in surprise. “Yes. How did you know?”

  “It was my parents favorite location there. It only makes sense,” Gabriel said.

  “X, that was over the top romantic. I proposed to Renatta over a steak dinner,” Tom said, sounding a bit embarrassed.