Blind Reality

by Heidi McLaughlin

  Joey returns and raises her eyebrow at me for still being in bed. Would she do this if we were at home or would she crawl back into bed with me? I offer a small shrug and get up reluctantly. If I had my choice, we’d stay in bed all day and order room service, except that doesn’t exist here, or at my apartment. I make a mental note to whisk us off to a hotel as soon as the show’s over so we can have some time to ourselves without any outside interference. I think for me, I need to see where this can go.

  I reach for her hand as I pass her, holding her finger with mine briefly. I have to find a way to tell her how I feel before it’s too late. I should tell her before the end of the show, but I don’t want to cheapen things by telling her in the house where everyone can hear us.

  After I brush my teeth, and run my wet hand through my hair, Joey and I are called to the confession room. When I enter, she’s sitting on the couch, staring at the camera. This is our first time in here as a couple, as we tend to be called in here by ourselves. Maybe the lovely jackass producers will fill her in on what I said, making me look like a bigger ass for not being able to tell her while she’s awake.

  Sitting next to her, I put my arm around her and lean back. I’m lounging with no shirt on, and the shorts I slept in. At least Joey is looking respectable enough for the both of us.

  “Are they going to ask us something?”

  “Dunno. Is that what they usually do for you?” I ask her.

  Joey turns, bringing her leg up underneath her. She’s wearing workout clothes, reminding me that I should ask her if we could exercise together. Exercise could lead to pool time, or the shower.

  “Last time I was in here, I yelled at them for being jerks. They haven’t called me since. I wonder why they’ve done it now.”

  Because your husband is a moron and professed his love to you while you were sleeping and is too much of a chicken shit to tell you how he feels while you’re looking at him.

  “I don’t know. We could make out,” I offer, shrugging as if making out is no big deal. It is, especially now that I’m able to admit my feelings to myself. All I want to do is make out like horny teenagers and see where it can lead. Again, the shower would be nice, but since that day we haven’t even ventured in that direction. I don’t blame her. Jules ruined the moment.

  “Josh and Joey, tell the viewers what you miss about the outside world.”

  I glance at Joey and she looks at me. We both shrug. Honestly, living in the house is nice. We don’t have to grocery shop and I already do my own laundry. I guess I miss work the most.

  “Freedom,” Joey blurts out and I have to agree with her. Being confined to the house does have its drawbacks, but I also enjoy the privacy in the sense that fans are not hounding me all the time.

  “I agree with Joey. It’ll be nice to get outside and not be surrounded by walls all the time, and I’m looking forward to going back to work. I have a few projects coming up that I’m eager to work on.”

  “What’s the first thing you’ll do as a couple once the show is over?”

  We glance at each other again and smile, but it’s me who talks to the camera. “A honeymoon would be nice, but we’ll have to see what my schedule is like.”

  “The light went off,” Joey says as she points to the camera.

  I lean closer and sure enough the red light is non-existent.

  “Now what?” she asks because usually they call in the next person or couple and I’m not hearing anything over the loud speaker.

  “Do we stay?”

  Joey shrugs. “I’m not sure that’s what they’re looking for?”

  “What if it’s what I want?” I wiggle my eyebrows and receive a slap across my leg, giving me a great idea. “What if we fight?”

  “Fight?” she questions.

  I shrug. “Yeah, you know, play boxing. I’ll even let you kick my ass.”

  Joey stands and places her hands on her hips. The look she’s giving is full of sass. I struck a nerve, just like I planned. Standing, I mimic her stance. She glares and I poke her in the shoulder.

  “What do you mean, you’ll let me kick your ass? What makes you think I can’t do it?” She steps closer, her chest almost touching mine. Logic says to step forward so her breasts are touching me, but the child inside says to provoke her. Help bring out her wild side.

  “You’re a girl. I’m a guy. Laws of nature dictate that you can’t.”

  Just as the words leave my mouth, her leg rears back and connects with my leg. The kick to my chin stings and I have to hold back a hiss. I don’t want her to know she hurt me, even a little bit. I wasn’t expecting her to do it or I might have prepared better.

  “Did that hurt?”

  “No,” I lie.

  This time she pinches my arm. It isn’t a normal pinch either. It’s one of those where she grabs arm hair and twists. My mouth drops open, but I hold back the ‘ow’ that wants to escape.

  “What about that?”

  “Are you trying to hurt me?”

  “You said you wanted to fight. So I’m fighting.”

  “I don’t think I like the way you fight,” I tell her, much to her displeasure.

  “How do you suppose we fight?”

  “Like this,” I say, and without hesitation, I capture her lips. Starting off slow, our lips dance with each other. I have no doubt we’ll be explosive when we can be together. My tongue traces her bottom lip, while her mouth opens slightly, telling me that she wants more. Hell, I want more. The moment our tongues touch, she becomes alive. Her fingers are pulling at my hair and the sharp pain is worth it. When she moans, I just about come undone. I could kiss her all day and night if she’d allow me to. I leave her lips, kissing my way along her jaw to her ear, pulling her lobe lightly. Her neck beckons me, begging me for attention. Her soft whimpers spur me on, so I pull her closer, showing her what she does to me.

  My lips trail over the top of her breasts, and to the other side of her neck. She pulls my hair, bringing my mouth back to hers. As soon at our lips touch, I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. Sitting us down, I grip her hips, moving her back and forth. I need this with her. I can’t continue to hold back if I’m going to try something with her outside of the house.

  We need to win master suite because I need her.

  “Amanda and Gary to the confession room.”

  We both pull away, and lust filled eyes bore into mine. Our breathing is labored. I smile at her, and kiss the tip of her nose. I need to make my move before it’s too late and I’ve shut her out for good.

  “That’s the best fight I’ve ever had,” she says before standing up. She takes my hand in hers, and walks us to the door. I think I like the confession room now.

  The women are teasing us. They’re in the pool bouncing up and down while tossing a beach ball around. My gaze is focused intently on Joey, in her white and blue striped bikini. Every now and again, she looks over and smiles, sending my heart into a shit storm of emotions.

  My reasons for not being with her are quickly becoming excuses. At best, they’re weak ones. She’s an adult and should be able to make her own decisions on whether she wants to be with me or not. Just because we’re married doesn’t entitle me to make them for her. I can only tell her how I feel, but ultimately it’s her choice.

  When I finally accepted that I’d be on this show it was my intent to guard my heart, win as many competitions as my partner and I could, wow the viewer’s so we can get the votes, and walk out a winner. But that’s all changed.

  Before I entered the industry, I told myself and anyone who came along that I wasn’t getting married. Growing up in my house wasn’t an enjoyable experience. My childhood isn’t something I like to remember and I never wanted children to be a product of my situation. I know I can be different from my parents, but the fear that I’m not lingers in the back of my mind. When Jules and I broke up, it’s because she was caught a few too many times with Bronx Taylor—a man that I can’t stand for multiple reason
s. One being he sleeps with whomever he can to get a part. Sure it’s common, but when I’m losing parts because of it, it strikes a nerve. I’ve taken Jules back because she’s an easy pattern to fall into. I loved her once and can easily say that I don’t harbor any feelings toward her because of my wife; the one I married blindly and without reservation and felt an immediate draw to, the one who has put up with my crap—my back and forth bullshit on how I feel and she has never wavered on her feelings toward me—she’s the one I’m in love with. Now I just have to find a way to tell her, but it has to be done right, and not in front of the cameras for everyone to see.

  Joey’s laughter brings me back to reality. Her smile is infectious and I find myself grinning like a lovesick fool for no other reason except she’s smiling and happy. I’d like to think I make her happy, but I don’t. Not yet at least, but that’s about to change.

  “What’s so funny?” Cole asks as he sits down next to me with a plate of nachos. I’ve been so immersed with thoughts of Joey I hadn’t realized he had left. I look at Gary, sound asleep and snoring lightly. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this house is boring, but that’s far from the truth. At any given moment, we have to be ready to compete.

  “Just watching Joey,” I say, taking a chip off his plate.

  “She’s beautiful. I think you and I got lucky. Not sure how Gary puts up with Amanda.”

  Cole’s right, Joey is beautiful. She’s everything I’ve been looking for, but didn’t know I was. I needed a TV show and a blindfold to help me find my happiness.

  I stare at Joey as she climbs out of the pool and walks toward the house. I want her to come over to me, but she won’t. She doesn’t cross the boundaries too much and I respect that. Once we’re behind closed doors, though, she definitely likes to test the waters.

  “Where ya going?” I holler out as she passes.

  “Shower,” she replies without stopping to talk.

  “I think that’s my cue.” I don’t care if Cole knows what I’m about to do. For all he knows, Joey and I have been intimate this whole time. Even when Jules ousted my secret, I played it off like she’s a scorned ex.

  Cole mumbles have fun as I walk by and all I can do is chuckle. I like that everyone is outside, although it won’t take long for people to start filtering in. We wouldn’t be the only couple caught in the shower, but the last thing I want is for Joey to be embarrassed.

  I quickly undress and step into the shower as quietly as I can. She stands there with the water cascading over her body. Her long, toned legs and her perfect ass beckon me. Stepping forward, I mold my body to hers as if she were made for me. She’s the perfect height. I don’t have to bend over to kiss her, but I do have to lean. I can nuzzle her as we stand side-by-side and tangle my feet with hers when we sleep.

  “What are you doing in here?” she asks as her ass moves just enough to cause friction.

  “I thought we could shower together. You know, to conserve water and all that other environmental bullshit everyone is always spouting off.” I like that with the shower running we’re barely audible. We can’t wear mics in the water, and as long as we stay near the nozzle, the overhead mics can’t pick up what we’re saying.

  Joey turns to face me. Her blonde hair is now dark and slicked back away from her face; her eyelashes wet and highlighting her beautiful gray eyes. I don’t know why I’ve waited so long. She searches my eyes for a clue, a truthful answer to her question. The words rest on the tip of tongue, but my mouth can’t open and my voice can’t seem to make the sounds necessary to tell her that I’m falling for her or that I have already fallen. It’s a deep seeded fear of rejection that must be preventing me from telling her. What if she tells me that I’m no good for her, or she doesn’t believe me?

  “You want me?” she questions, knowing that I’ve given her the impression that I don’t.

  “You have no idea.”

  “What’s changed?”

  I pause and let her question sink in. I know I need to open the floodgates and tell her everything, but doing that could have repercussions, and this isn’t the time to talk.

  “You’ve changed me, Joey. You see the real me.”

  Trailing the backside of my fingers along her cheekbone, I move in stealthily when she closes her eyes. My lips graze hers, pulling away slightly before taking her bottom lip in between my teeth. This feels right. It feels natural being with her like this.

  “Please don’t start something that you can’t finish.”

  “Oh I intend to finish, Joey,” I say as I gently back her into the wall. She hisses from the contact the cold tile makes with her warm skin. The water hits my back as I tower over her. There’s a look in her eyes, a look of want and need. I trail my lips over her shoulder, my tongue blazing a path over her skin. Her taut nipples beckon me as I bring one into my mouth, pulling lightly with my teeth as her back arches. If I don’t act fast, I’m going to not only run out of time, but also have a middle school mishap and let go too soon. While lavishing her breast, my hands cup her ass, lifting her gently so she can wrap her legs around my waist. I groan when I come into contact with her pussy.

  “There are so many things I want to do to you, Joey, but that’ll have to wait until we’re in the master suite,” I whisper as I enter her. “Right now, I need to feel you wrapped around me again.” She doesn’t correct me, confirming what I already know. This isn’t our first time together and as much as I want to be angry with her for not being honest, I understand why she did it.

  My hands grip her hips as I slide her up and down my shaft. Joey rocks into me, creating a rhythm that belongs only to us. I watch as her eyes close and her head rests against the shower wall. Her heels dig into my ass, spurring me on to be faster. At the first indication of a moan, my mouth is covering hers as I slam us into the tile, my hand clutching the lip above to give me more leverage.

  This is not how I wanted our first coherent round of sex to be, but I can’t wait any longer. I have to know what it feels like to be lost in all things Joey. And I am lost, especially now as I feel her tighten around me. I want to hear her scream, call out my name, but not here. We’re rushed, and the privacy is lacking. I swallow her cries, matching each and every one as I thrust into her, harder and faster. Her legs squeeze me, locking around my waist as I push into her one last time.

  “Look at me, Joey.” When she does I lose all sense of what I was going to say. She gives me everything, and does so without hesitation or reservation. She never asked to be married to me, and given the chance, I’d choose her time and time again.

  The words are there, but I’m not sure if I can say them. I’m confident that she feels the same way, I’m just questioning if this is love that I’m feeling, or if I’m lonely. The way I feel when she walks into the room is nothing like I ever felt with Jules. My gut is telling me to follow Joey to the ends of the earth. To take her by the hand and profess my love to her, but I’m too afraid.

  Instead of telling her anything, I kiss her. I kiss her hard and fast, deep and crazy, as I hold us to the wall. When I pull away, the lust is there. The need and want is evident in her features.

  It’s time to man up.

  [Roll intro]

  “I’m Patrick Jonas, and welcome to another episode of Married Blind.”

  [Theme music plays]

  [Cut to commercial break]

  “Welcome back. Our third season has seen some fantastic competitions, we’ve witnessed a couple fall in love, a man transform for his wife, and a Hollywood romance take shape. Its day sixty and things are heating up between our newlyweds. Our online polls show the favorites right now are Joshua and Joey. I’m willing to bet it’s because of that steamy fight they had in the confession room, wouldn’t you? Let’s hear what the audience thinks about the latest developments.”

  [Camera pans to audience members]

  “Tell us who you think will win?”

  [Audience members stand at microphones]

  “Well,
I think Joshua and Joey will win, but Joshua is leading Joey on. He’s in love with Jules Maxwell, and rumors are she’s planning their wedding.”

  “Interesting thought, thank you for that. Let’s hope that’s not true for Joey’s sake.”

  [Pause for new member]

  “Who’s your favorite?”

  “Definitely Millie and Cole, you can tell they’re in love.”

  [PJ faces camera]

  “So there you have it. You’ve heard the views of some of our audience members, but we’d also like to hear what you think. Go to our website and take part in the latest poll to let us know who you think will win Married Blind. We’ll be back after the commercial break.”

  [Make-up fix]

  [Check lighting]

  [Break over]

  [Audience applause]

  “We think our newlyweds have had it a bit too easy, don’t you?”

  [Audience cheers]

  “For the remaining thirty days, our houseguests will compete not only against each other, but another couple as well. We’ll be introducing another couple and ... well, let’s say things are about to get interesting.”

  [Audience oohs]

  [Switch to the live feed]

  “Hello, newlyweds!”

  [All respond]

  “How is everyone tonight?”

  [All respond]