Hook Up Daddy

by Naomi Niles

  “Don’t fucking come at me like that, Tanya. I’m not blowing my boys off for shit, all right? I’ve had this audition set up for the past week and here you come, calling last minute because your irresponsible ass planned something at the last minute.”

  “Oh, my God. Look. How long is your bullshit audition? I’ll reschedule my appointment for later.”

  “Yeah. I’m sure your psychologist won’t have a problem rescheduling for one of his patients.”

  “Just what time, Ezra?! Damn it!”

  “I’ll call you when I am done. Maybe 3 or 4 pm.”

  “Fine.”

  She hung up before I could respond again. On a good day, we would go back and forth for at least 10 minutes, insulting each other until we’d had enough. I had a love-hate relationship with her. I loved the fact that she hated me and I’m sure it worked vice versa. I glanced in the mirror one last time, checking out my 5 o’clock shadow to make sure it had enough tint. Afterward, I grabbed my shades and headed out of the door. If I had to put this role in a submission hold, that is what I was going to do, because I was not going to take no for an answer.

  The room was filled with men, everywhere from their mid-20s to mid-30s. Most of them were fit and attractive; pretty boys, much like myself, but I didn’t care about that. I kept Tanya’s mockery in my mind with each step I took, lighting the passion inside of me to impress everyone at this casting call. I checked in and leaned against the wall on the side of the room, waiting for my name to be called. As I waited, I flipped through photographs on my phone.

  Naked pictures of women who I’d slept with in the past. Brunettes with large breasts and erect nipples. Blondes with their legs spread-eagle and their fingers stroking their clits right before I went inside of them. Brown-skinned women posing in the mirror with their phat asses resting on countertops. I had a particular type, but when it came to beautiful women, I didn’t discriminate. I used the pictures to get into the right mindset. When I messed around with those women, my confidence was always through the roof, and it had to be. They weren’t the average chicks.

  “Ezra Hammond.” I glanced to the front of the room as a short and round young woman stood front and center. I raised my hand and began walking towards the front of the room as she looked down at her paper, making a few strokes onto the sheet with her pen.

  “A pleasure to meet you, Ms...” I offered my hand to her with a crescent smile on my face.

  “Ms. Anderson,” she said as she placed her hand in mine. Her thin, prescription glasses had a red frame. Freckles clustered together on her cheeks like cherries on a tree. She blushed as I kissed her hand.

  “Ms. Anderson.”

  “Right this way,” she said as she turned around and led me down the hallway. Decorative floor designs were etched into the polished tile floors. Her high heels clicked against the ground as we walked side by side down the corridor. “So,” she said, “is this your first time going for a major role?”

  “Yes, it is. And,” I said, making eye contact with her, “this will be my first time starring in a major movie.”

  “First time starring?”

  “Yes. I am going to get this part. And yeah, I know how many other men were out there waiting to come in, but the part has to go to someone, right? And that someone will be me.”

  She smiled as we approached a white door near the end of the hallway. “Well, I must say… I do like your confidence.” I grabbed the door knob before she could. “Thank you.”

  I bowed my head as she walked into the room. As soon as I walked in, there was a stage positioned in the front at least six feet above the ground. On it, there were four women, all middle-aged, sitting side by side. I looked around the room. It was a banquet hall that had been transitioned into a room specifically for this purpose.

  I removed my glasses and walked closer to the front of the room as Ms. Anderson walked down the side of the room until she got on stage. Once there, she leaned down and whispered into one of the ladies’ ears. The lady fixed her eyes on me and nodded her head as Ms. Anderson spoke. Once she finished, she exited the stage and went behind a black curtain.

  “Well, Mr. Ezra Hammond, welcome to the casting call for Satin Sheets. How did you find out about this event?”

  “Well,” I said, increasing the bass in my voice as I stood front and center. “My manager, Marc Harris, got me through the door and… I know that my talent and charisma alone will get me the part.”

  “Oh?” she said with a smile as she folded her hands on the table.

  “Absolutely.” I glanced at the other three women as they stood, seemingly hanging on every word that left my mouth. I wiped the side of my face, then ran my tongue slowly over my lips.

  She cleared her throat. “Well, I am Elizabeth, the writer and director of this movie. That is Shannon,” she pointed to her right, “and that is Janet and Morgan, respectively,” she said, motioning to her left.

  Shannon spoke up. “So, what experience do you have an as actor?”

  Without saying a word, I lifted my shirt above my head. The ripples in my abs looked like a cage for my stomach. My chest sat above them like boulders as I tossed my shirt to the side. Afterward, I wrestled with my belt and dropped my pants to the ground. “Um,” Shannon said, but Elizabeth put her hand up, ordering her silence.

  They followed me as I walked on stage and pulled Elizabeth’s chair away from the table with ease. With a grin, she invited me to do whatever I came to do. I slid on top of her lap and grinded my hips into her crotch while I took her hands and ran them over the ripples on my chest. My dick stiffened while I was on top of her, damn near escaping its entrapment as it poked her in her stomach.

  “I have a lot of experience as an actor,” I said as I settled down on top of her. “But I have intangibles that you can’t teach to go with it. I know what this part calls for, and I can save you all a lot of time right now. I am your man. Shut this shit down so we can make a movie… and then… make a movie.”

  Elizabeth’s smile was unbreakable. Janet and Morgan looked as though they wanted a sample of what I gave Elizabeth, but Shannon was the one that seemed like she would be the hardest to break. “Um,” Elizabeth responded with her cheeks reddened. “Yeah, so… um… we will call you and let you know um...we will let you know that you are our guy, um,” she cringed, “IF... IF you are our guy.”

  “Thank you, Ezra,” Shannon said, “But if you could please put your clothes on so we could finish the auditions, it would be greatly appreciated.” She smirked as I got off Elizabeth and made my way back to my clothing.

  “Thank you for the time, ladies. I look forward to shooting this movie.”

  I walked out of the room just as confident as I was when I came in. As I closed the door behind me, I heard one of the women yell out, “Yes, Lord!” I laughed to myself as I made my way out of the building. This part was mine to lose.

  As I pulled up to Tanya’s house, I got a phone call from an unsaved number. “Hello?” I asked as I shut my engine off.

  “Hello, Ezra?”

  “Speaking.”

  “Hi. This is Elizabeth, one of the writers for Satin Sheets. I would like to inform you that you have the part for the movie.”

  I slammed my fist onto the steering wheel out of excitement, blowing the car horn in the process. “That is great news! I know I will bring this part to life the way you envisioned it.”

  “Oh, I am sure you will.” I looked at Tanya’s house as she poked her head out of the front door. “So, we are having a casting call for potential female roles on Monday, and we need you to be there for that. We need you to read a few parts with them so we can get an idea of how you two would look, and work together. Can you make it? I know it is last minute.”

  I looked at Tanya as she shook her head, then walked back inside the house. “Yeah, absolutely. I will be there, just let me know the time.”

  “Eleven am.”

  “Awesome,” I said as Tanya walked out of the house
with the boys. “Eleven am. I will see you then, Elizabeth, and thank you.”

  “Thank you, Ezra!”

  I hung up just as Tanya opened the door. “Who were you on the phone with? One of your whores?” I laughed to myself and held my smart remark in. The last thing I wanted to do was disrespect my boy's mother right in front of them. I wanted to tell her that I had just landed a part in a major movie, but I felt it would have been more justice if she found it out on her own.

  “No. Business. Just business.”

  Chapter Six

  Hannah

  I stood in my closet like a zombie, looking over the same clothing for the past 10 minutes as I decided what to wear to the audition. My hands tremored as they glided from hanger to hanger, pulling dresses from their position just to drop them onto the floor when I realized it wasn’t what I wanted to wear. My audition was four hours away, and I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep since I’d tried to go to bed last night.

  I kept waking up during the middle of the night with nightmares of me screwing up during the casting call. Stumbling in my high heels, tripping over my words and looking like a flat out idiot. I grabbed another shirt and held it up. Moments later, I rolled my eyes and dropped it into the pile of clothes on the closet floor.

  Forget it, I thought, as I sighed and crawled back into my bed and blanketed myself with covers. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this work. Hell, I couldn’t even pick out something to wear without trembling with thoughts of a disastrous audition. Just then, Carrie knocked on my door and invited herself in. “Um, Hannah? Why are you still asleep? Do you know what time it is?”

  I spoke from beneath the covers, “Yes, I know what time it is, and I am not going.”

  “Not going?” She plopped down next to me on the bed. “What are you talking about? Why not? Are you dying?”

  “No.”

  “Do you have a fever?” She tugged at the covers, but I held them firmly in place.

  “No. I’m just not going. I’m not cut out for this.”

  She exhaled. “Oh, my God, Hannah. This again? Listen. You are going to that audition if I have to pull you out of this bed and drag you there myself. You are,” she tugged at the cover until she was able to yank it out of my grasp. “You are not going to keep doing this, OK? I don’t know what the disconnect is between what I see and what you feel, but it has to stop. Hannah,” she looked me right into my eyes as I sat with my arms folded over my chest and my bottom lip poked out.

  “You are the most talented actress I know, and on top of that, you are fine. Drop-dead gorgeous. Even with your morning breath and everything.” I slapped her on her arm as she laughed. “I am serious. If I was a guy, I’d smash. No question.”

  She always had a way of making me smile, even when I didn’t want to. “You sound crazy right now, Carrie.”

  “No. What sounds crazy is you missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime just because you are doubting yourself. You don’t see eagles around here saying, ‘uh, I wonder if I can fly? I mean, I have wings but deeeer, I don’t know.’ Do you?”

  “Eagles can’t talk, Carrie.”

  She grabbed a pillow and smacked me in the face. “Stop being dumb, Hannah! You know what?” She got up, walked to the closet, and scanned through my clothing. I could hear hangers smashing into each other as she pushed them across the rack. Suddenly, she tossed a dress out onto the bed. “There. You will wear that. It will show off your ladies, and at the same time, you can have the men, or whomever else, salivating over your legs. I mean, you don’t have a big ass or anything, but you got enough to grab someone’s attention.”

  I pressed my back against the headboard and shook my head. “I am not going.”

  She walked out of the closet with her hands on her hips, her arms shaped like the handle of a teapot. “Yes, you are, Carrie.” Her nightgown hung open down the middle, exposing the small pouch on her stomach. “Now, you are going to get your stinky behind in the shower and get dressed. Then, we are going out for breakfast, and right after that, I am taking you to the audition.”

  “Carrie–”

  “You better get ready, and I am not playing. Or else I am going to give Robert your number and tell him you want a date.”

  My mouth hung open. “You wouldn’t.”

  She moved her lips to the side and raised one eyebrow above the other. “Try me.”

  I wasn’t in the mood to test her. She was known to do outlandish things for the sake of proving me wrong, so I knew her threat was more of a promise than anything else. After a brief stare-off, I threw the covers off the bed. “Fine, Carrie. I’ll go. And you’re paying for breakfast.”

  “That’s fine…” she walked to my door. “Because I don’t have my half of the rent.” She slammed it shut before I could respond.

  “Carrie! Carrie! Ugh!”

  After I had got dressed, we headed to the pancake house not far from where my audition was last week. She sat across from me, dressed in sweatpants and a white T-shirt. She wasn’t one to put on her best attire on a daily basis, but even so, guys would still approach her. I felt out of place with my black dress. It was cut low in the front and stopped just beneath my ass. I kept adjusting the top to make sure my breasts weren’t going to pop out.

  Carrie smacked my hand, “Girl, leave them alone!”

  “I’m trying! It feels like one of them will pop out any moment!”

  “Let it! Shoot, hopefully, it happens during the audition.” I lowered my eyes at her as she placed her phone on the table. “What? You don’t know what this movie is about?”

  “Sort of,” I said as a couple walked by our table, escorted by a hostess. The man walked behind his wife, stealing a glance at my chest on the way. I rolled my eyes, adjusted my dress again, and continued speaking to her. “I know it’s a love story or something.”

  “A love story?” she laughed. “Um, yeah, that is one way it could be classified. Buuut, I think–”

  “Here you go, ladies,” our waiter said as he placed our food on the table. “One short stack for you, and another short stack for you with a side of eggs and bacon.” He put his hands together as he smiled. “Is there anything else I can get for you two?”

  “No,” I responded. “We are good.”

  “Excellent. Well, if you need anything, just flag me down. Otherwise, I’ll be back to check on you two soon.”

  “Thank you.” As he walked away, Carrie drenched her pancakes in syrup until it covered the bottom of the plate. “What were you saying about the movie, Carrie?”

  “Huh? Oh, um, yeah, it’s a love story. I’ll just leave it at that.”

  “No. Tell me what else you were going to say.”

  She took a bite of her pancakes. “Ummmm, my goodness, Hannah. These are soooo good. I forgot how good this place was. I haven’t been here in ages. Good choice, sweetie.”

  “Carrie!”

  “Fine. It is a love story. About a man and a woman. And they love each other. A lot. And they show it. Over… and over...and over...and over,” she smirked as she chewed her food. “And over…and over–”

  “Wait, is this one of those freaky-ass books? Like, porn with words?”

  “No, not really. I mean, it has those parts in it.” She grabbed the syrup and poured more onto her pancakes. “But it really is a love story. Seriously. You should read the book.” I sat in my chair as she went to town on her food. A part of me wanted to snatch the keys out of her purse and make a run for the exit, but I knew I wouldn’t get far in this tight-ass dress. “Hannah, eat your food. You don’t want your stomach growling while you’re in the audition. They might think you are passing gas. That will be embarrassing.” She covered her mouth as she laughed at the thought, but I wasn’t amused.

  After we finished our food and made for the exit, I saw the guy from my last audition. “Brian?” I asked as he walked through the door.

  “Hey, Hannah, right?”

  “Yeah. How is it going?”

  He leaned in fo
r a hug as I extended him the courtesy. He wrapped his arms around me tightly for a few moments before we released each other. “It is going well. Just stopped in to get a bite to eat before I head to another day of auditions.”

  “How is that going?”

  “Dragging along, as usual.” He looked to the side. “And who is this?”

  “This is my friend, Carrie.”

  He extended his hand to greet her, “Hi, Carrie. Nice to meet you.”

  “Same to you, Brian.”

  “So,” he said, turning his attention back towards me. “Where are you headed dressed that, um, attractive? That looks like another audition outfit.”

  I sighed. “Yeah. I have an audition for that movie called Satin Sheets.”

  He wrinkled his eyebrows, then smiled, “Oh, right! That sex book that they are turning into a movie.”

  I glared at Carrie, then looked back towards him. “Yeah. That one.”

  “Well, look. You definitely have the look, and like I said before, just be yourself. Be that woman that I spoke to in the hallway and I am sure you will blow them away. Without a doubt. You have the total package. Seriously.”

  I smiled as Carrie nudged my arm. “Thank you, Brian.”

  “Absolutely. I’m expecting to see you starring in that movie whenever it comes out. I expect you to be the female lead and nothing less.”

  “Hopefully, I will.”

  He looked directly into my eyes. A sea of brown exuding with passion. “You will.” A smile suddenly flashed across his face, “But I need to get going. I ordered my food to go, and I don’t want to be late. Kent, ‘the asshole,' will have apoplexy if I am.”

  “All right. It was good talking to you, Brian.”

  “Good luck.”

  As we walked to the car, Carrie scrunched her face. “Apoplexy? What in the hell is apoplexy?”

  “I don’t know, and I didn’t want to ask since he assumed I did.”

  “Good point,” she said as she unlocked the door. “What can’t both look like idiots.”

  We laughed as we got into her car and headed to my audition. It was 10:26 am when she drove me to the front door. We sat in front of the building, watching different women walk through the doors, dressed in little to nothing on their way in. I shook my head as I looked at them as I felt Carrie’s hand on my leg. “Don’t worry about them, girl. You got this. Just be yourself. That’s all I keep telling you. Once you step into your own character and personality, you will woo them over. You are the complete package. Trust me.”