And I relent.
The anger that flared in my chest a moment ago moves lower in my body as I melt in his arms. I collapse against him, curling my fingers into his shirt as he claims my mouth. My lips. My body.
Have I ever not been his? From the second I walked into the shop, has there been any moment that I didn’t belong to Finn?
His arm around my waist tightens before dropping lower, pulling my center toward his. My body is putty in his hands. I melt into him, wanting more. Needing more.
The fight leaves my body in an instant, and all that’s left is white-hot desire. It howls in my ears, rattling loose every bit of life inside me.
When we finally fall apart, I’m breathless. My head is spinning.
“You’re infuriating,” I manage to say between breaths.
“I was about to say the same.” His eyes flash. “I didn’t like seeing you talk to that dickhead this morning. Making plans with him. Going out with him.”
Finn’s arm finds my waist again. He nuzzles his lips over my neck, and another part of me melts. I’m sick of fighting this feeling. Sick of resisting.
I want Finn.
“I wasn’t making plans with anybody,” I say, closing my eyes.
Finn’s fingers work the button of my jeans open. “No? Because it sure sounded like it.”
“Are you jealous again?” I pull away, arching an eyebrow.
Finn’s lips hover close to mine. “Yes,” he rasps. “Horrendously. Viciously. I hated seeing you talk to him with every fiber of my fucking soul.”
“Is that why you brought me in here, then?”
“I brought you in here to remind you how much you liked kissing me.” He spins us both around so the backs of my thighs press against the desk.
“Not sure I needed reminding.” My voice is barely a whisper. His hand is still near my crotch, teasing at the zipper of my jeans.
His lips drop to my neck as a growl rumbles through his chest. “I think you did. Still do. You might need reminding every day for the rest of your life.”
Finn’s voice is rough. My nails sink into his bicep as he lowers the zipper of my jeans, kicking my legs apart as he does it. He’s commanding. Demanding. Needy.
And I give in.
I’ll take commanding over hesitant any day. I’ll take whatever consequences come from this if it means I get to feel his skin against mine.
I’m melting in his arms. I love the feeling of his body towering over me. His legs spreading mine apart. One hand unfastening my pants while the other cups the nape of my neck. When he drops his hand down my front, I let out a whimper.
His fingers slide through my slit as lust roars within me. I lean against the desk, letting a breath slip through my lips. Finn’s lips still hover near mine as the raw power in his body coils tighter.
“You shouldn’t be jealous,” I manage to say, my breath coming in short gasps. “I don’t like the whole possessive alpha-male thing.”
He slides his hand farther down, his fingers teasing my opening. He chuckles when he feels the wetness between my legs. “No?” he asks, his breath tickling my lips. “Because it sure feels like you enjoy it.”
My heart feels like it’s about to explode right there in my chest. I grip his arms like they’re the only thing keeping me upright. Finn’s hand moves slowly, the tips of his fingers teasing me as the fire inside me mounts.
He brushes his lips against mine, pushing me against the desk. His mouth moves to my neck and I feel his tongue slide out to taste my skin. He groans, moving his fingers ever so slightly deeper inside me.
I moan. My knees are weak.
“Tell me you want me,” he says in my ear. His palm presses against my clit and desire rips through me.
Of course I want him. I’ve never wanted anything more. I want him everywhere, all the time. He’s the only thing that I’ve truly wanted in years.
“Say it,” he growls.
“I want you,” I pant, my hands clinging onto him for dear life. “I want you, Finn. Right now.”
22
Finn
All my doubts and hesitations are silenced, drowned out by the screech of my desire. Touching Esme is ecstasy. It makes my heart thump so hard I think I might pass out. My pants grow tighter as she grips my arms, her nails digging into my skin so hard she might draw blood. Her head falls back, her mouth dropping open.
This is probably wrong. I’m breaking some covenant of friendship. I’m living up to my reputation as a playboy asshole.
Do I care, though?
Not even a little bit, because my hand is currently occupied between the two most beautiful legs Woodvale has ever seen. I reach my other hand up to Esme’s beanie, sliding it off her head and tossing it to the side.
She opens her eyes, meeting my gaze.
“You’re gorgeous,” I growl, sinking my fingers deep inside her.
She gasps, leaning her forehead against mine. Her face is rapt. Her eyes clear. I wonder if she feels the magic between us. The absolute uniqueness of the fire that burns when we’re together.
Our connection is different. I could feel it the moment I met her, and I’ve tried to fight it ever since—but I’m sick of fighting. Sick of resisting. Sick of pretending that there are a thousand and one reasons for us not to give in.
She wants it. I want it. What’s the problem?
Esme’s fingers grip my biceps tight, her legs trembling as she tries to stay upright. A smile tugs at my lips as I watch the pleasure relax her features.
“Have you ever felt this good, Esme?” I growl, watching as her tongue slides over her lips. I kiss the side of her jaw.
“No,” she sighs, her fingers squeezing me tighter.
I can feel the tension mounting inside Esme’s body. Being this close to her—touching her—it’s like a window to her soul. Her eyes open to stare at me, another whimper slipping through her lips.
The mask she always wears falls away. The toughness clatters to the ground, and her anger dissipates into thin air. The real Esme—the one who’s staring at me with bright, honey-brown eyes—is gorgeous, and open, and mine.
“Finn,” she sighs, kissing me clumsily. My name sounds so sweet coming from her lips. I catch them between my own, devouring her.
The energy between us shifts. It’s no longer frantic and needy. Angry and reckless. It deepens, swirling around us and intoxicating us with lust. I drag my hand through her honey, bringing my fingers up to my lips. Esme watches me taste her desire, her eyes widening. I groan, dropping my lips again to kiss her.
I want to savor this. Enjoy every second of it. Squeeze every bit of pleasure out of this moment that I can—I don’t know if it’ll happen again.
But then, Esme runs her fingers over my jaw. She tangles them into my hair, holding my gaze…
…and I know. I know this won’t be the last time I touch her. Kiss her. Pleasure her. It won’t be the last time I’m unable to resist the pull that she has on me.
I’ll drag myself to her again, and again, and again, until I’m a shell of my former self. Until my knees are raw from crawling toward her. Until there’s nothing left of me except for the desire that drives me onward.
I thought skydiving was better than sex? Ha! How could anything compare to this? All I’ve had is a kiss. A touch. A taste—and my head is already spinning.
Nothing comes close. Nothing can hold a candle to the inferno that Esme creates within me. I wrap my arms around her waist and sit her on the desk, sending a cup of pencils and pens clattering to the floor. We ignore it. Esme’s legs wrap around my waist as her arms hook around my neck.
Her kiss is needy. Her touch, insistent.
And I give in. I’ll always give in. The dam has broken. The floodgates are open. There’s no stopping me.
Reaching down, I lift her up and pull her tight, black jeans off her legs. She pants, helping me kick them to the ground.
“This isn’t exactly consistent with what you’ve been saying, Finn. Whate
ver happened to not wanting to cross a line with me?”
“I was lying,” I rasp. My thumb runs over her soft cheek, my fingers feeling the buzzed hair on her head. Her eyes are bright as she stares at me.
Esme’s fingers curl around my shirt until it’s bunched around my chest. I rip it off over my head, tossing it behind me to land on top of her pants. She sucks a breath in through her teeth, her eyes widening as her fingers explore my chest. They trace the lines of my muscles as I stand there, running my hands up her thighs toward her center.
A wet scrap of underwear stands between me and her. I run my palm over the outside of it as Esme shivers. Her fingers trace the muscular V of my lower abdominal muscles. I let my fingers drift over the outside of her panties.
“Finn,” she whispers again, unbuckling my belt.
“Yeah, beautiful?”
Her lips tug into a smile. When she unzips my pants and slips her hand into my boxers, I groan. This girl will be the end of me. One touch, and I’m already wanting to explode.
Esme stares at me through long lashes, her bottom lip sucked between her teeth. “I haven’t done this in a while,” she whispers.
“What, have sex?”
She dips her chin down, her eyes wide as she waits for me to answer.
My heart thumps. Esme’s face is completely open, and I know she isn’t the tough, punky chick she likes to pretend she is. She’s vulnerable. Sensitive. She’s been through so much.
And she’s here, giving herself to me. Waiting for me to accept what she has to offer. Baring everything when she knows my reputation. Knows what people say about me. Knows that I could hurt her.
My heart races in my chest as I move my hands back to her thighs, running them over her smooth, silken skin. She keeps her hand on my cock, and I groan. I lean my forehead against hers, keeping our bodies close.
“Are you sure you want this?” My voice is a breath. A whisper.
Please say yes. I don’t know if I’ll survive if she pulls away. I’ve tasted her. Touched her. Kissed her. I need more. I need it all. I need to make this girl mine, now and forever.
Something clicks into place in my heart, and I know that in this instant, she’s changed me. I don’t want to use her and be used by her. Esme’s showing me another side of her. She’s letting me into her heart as her defenses fall away. She’s taking off her mask and her battle armor, and she’s being real.
How can I not be changed by her? How could I possibly resist this woman?
Esme nods, brushing her lips against mine. “I’m sure.”
I groan, reaching into my pocket for my wallet where I keep a condom. Pushing my pants down to my knees, I tear the wrapper open and slide it onto my hardened shaft.
Esme watches, eyes wide. Her legs are wrapped around my waist, her ass hanging off the end of the desk. I lift my eyes up to hers, questioning.
She answers with a smile, running her hands up my arms and over my shoulders. My lips meet hers as I push her underwear to the side, groaning as I feel her wetness with the tips of my fingers.
Then, slowly, gently, I position myself at her opening. Esme trembles in my arms, kissing me fiercely as her legs tighten around my waist. I can feel the anticipation coursing through her body. The pleasure mounting at the slightest touch.
She’s giving herself to me, and I know it’s the greatest gift I could ever receive.
Right before I enter her, I stare into her whiskey-colored eyes and I know that she’s the one for me.
23
Esme
Ecstasy. That’s the only word I can use to describe the feeling rushing through my body. Nothing else comes close.
Finn’s hands are rough, yet gentle. His eyes burn. He stares at me, lips parted, and I know we share something special. There’s no sense in fighting it anymore.
I can feel his crown at my opening. I drop my head back. There are no words left to say. No pleading. No promises. No fighting. Sound is stolen from my lips, and Finn transports me somewhere else.
He enters me, and I’m complete.
His body fits into mine like we were made for each other. His eyes darken. His fingers sink into my flesh. His lips part, and a soft sigh escapes.
“Esme,” he whispers, grinding his hips toward me. He says my name like a prayer.
My knees fall open, and I give myself to him completely. Fire burns in my veins as he thrusts deeper inside me, and I forget everything except how good it feels to have him there.
Finn’s hands hold my waist. He grips me there, on the edge of the desk, and I wrap my legs around him. When he thrusts once more, a moan slips through my lips.
My blood runs hot. Electricity jumps down my spine. My thoughts disappear, and all that exists is him. His body. His hands. His lips.
His cock.
It spears me deep, sending me into the throes of pleasure. I gasp, wrapping my legs tighter around him as he leans over me, his lips finding mine.
We don’t speak. Our lips brush against each other. Finn’s eyes are hooded, pleasure written all over his face. I let out a happy sigh, knowing that I’ve made him feel like that.
When Finn’s hand moves from my waist, sliding down to reach between us, my breath catches. He touches me gently, twirling his thumb over the little bundle of nerves that screams for his touch. Eyes widening, heart thumping, I feel myself rushing toward desire. Pleasure. Lust.
It crashes into me, knocking me back. My orgasm splits me open, tensing all my muscles and stealing a scream from my lips. It lights up every nerve ending in my body, and I know I was right to give in.
Give in to pleasure. To desire. To Finn.
My back arches. My mouth falls open. My nipples pebble, and Finn reaches up to brush his thumb over one of them. Another jolt of pleasure zips through my body, making everything contract around him.
I've never had this. Not like Finn gives it to me. Not pleasure that tears me apart, splits me open, and lets him watch. A moan tumbles through my lips as Finn urges me on, one hand on my clit as the other teases my breast.
It’s too much. It’s not enough. It’s everything.
I wrap my legs around Finn’s waist a little tighter as he grunts, thrusting himself deeper inside me.
When his cock grows just a little harder, and his breath becomes more labored, I know he’s about to come. I wrap my hands around his arms and ride the last aftershocks of my orgasm as Finn drives himself deeper.
He empties himself inside me, grunting. His head falls over mine as his body stills, our hearts thumping in unison. My chest heaves as I struggle to catch my breath.
With my legs still wrapped around Finn’s waist, and my hands still gripping his biceps, I cling onto him until my vision clears and I’m able to take a full breath.
We fall apart, panting. I bite my lip, glancing up at Finn.
His hair is mussed. There’s a patch of red on each of his cheeks. He squeezes his eyes shut as he struggles to gulp a lungful of air. As he sucks in a long breath, he meets my eye.
“I’m not going to be able to resist doing that again,” he growls.
“I never asked you to.”
Finn chuckles, moving to lay a soft kiss on my lips. A soft kiss turns a little harder as his arms snake around my waist. He pulls me off the desk, cupping my ass with his rough, strong hands.
We jump at the sound of the shop’s doorbell ringing. Finn groans, his eyes at half-mast.
I gulp. “I guess I’d better go unlock the door.”
“Get back to work,” Finn grunts, giving my butt cheek a slap. He drops another kiss on my lips before pulling his pants up and fastening them. Glancing at me, his face softens. Without saying anything more, Finn steps over to me and cups my cheek, kissing me hard.
When we pull apart, I’m breathless. The doorbell rings again. I gulp, eyes shining, then throw my clothes on, stuff my beanie over my head, and rush out the door.
A couple is waiting on the other side of the door, hands cupped around their faces a
s they look in the window. I force a smile, waving at them as I rush to the front door. Turning the lock, I pull it open.
“Staff meeting,” I explain. “Sorry. You’re here to book a skydive?”
They smile, nodding, and I lead them to a couple of chairs in front of the reception desk. My heart still beats erratically as I paint a smile on my face. I can almost sense Finn’s presence just beyond the door behind me, and I can’t wait to wrap my arms around him again.
That night, instead of going home, I stay and Finn makes me dinner. We eat it on the roof, sitting on campaign chairs as the sun goes down over the ocean.
My heart beats calmly. I smile at Finn, staring at the curve of his jaw and the smattering of stubble on his face. His t-shirt stretches over his shoulders as he moves, and I marvel at the ridges and curves of his hard body.
We don’t say much. We don’t have to.
There’s no talk of Kit, or what will happen when he’s back. Right now, it doesn’t matter. It feels too good to be together.
We gather our dishes and head inside. Finn wraps his arms around me and lays a soft kiss on my lips. He leads me to his bed, lays me down, and we make love once more.
He’s tender, but possessive. Gentle, yet strong. In his arms, I forget what it felt like to be ill. To be dying. To wonder what it would feel like to really live.
Because with Finn, I am living. He trails his hands over my body and awakens something inside me I didn’t even know existed. When he gives me pleasure, I can tell by the look on his face that he enjoys it. He likes making me feel good. It turns him on to watch an orgasm wash over me. It makes him hard to see me melt.
That’s something I’ve never had. I’ve never been with anyone who took such pleasure in making me feel good. Someone who likes the way I taste, the way I smell, the way I look. Someone who looks at my shaved head and doesn’t see a former cancer patient. He sees a woman. A goddess.
Can't Have You: A Stand-Alone Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 14