by Karen Woods
Harpur rushed in through the front door and flung her handbag onto the floor. Her sleeves were rolled up and she was ready to kick some arse. “MADDIE! Where the hell are you? Get your arse here now!” She was hysterical. Harpur stomped around the living room, throwing things, launching cushions about the room. She sprinted to the bottom of the stairs and yelled out at the top of her voice. “Maddie, get down here now! It's urgent.” There wasn’t a sound, she burst up the stairs and booted her bedroom door open. Her eyes flicked one way then the other. Not a sign of her.
Joanne appeared at the door, she’d been asleep and her hair was stuck up all over the show. “What time is it? Is it time to pick Joseph up from school yet?”
Harpur went nose to nose with her and slammed her body up against the wall, holding her by the throat. “Where is she?”
Joanne was struggling to breathe. “I... I... don’t know, I’ve just woken up!” Her warm breath was in her face. She could smell the stale tobacco on her breath.
“Tell me what you know about Paul Burton and my daughter.” Joanne’s eyes were wide open with fear, not knowing what would happen next. Was she going to tell her what she wanted to know or keep schtum? Harpur screamed at her again. “Tell me Joanne, for fuck's sake, tell me the truth before I twat you all over this house.” There was no need for that. It was Maddie she was furious with, not her. It was do or die time for Joanne. Her own neck was on the line if she didn’t tell her what she wanted to know. But, in fairness, she had no other choice, Harpur had a right to know. Joanne had watched Harpur crying and upset about her brother for months and all she ever wanted to know was the truth about his death. It wasn’t a big ask, she just needed closure.
Joanne gulped, she closed her eyes and made the decision. So what, her own infidelity would be revealed too. Harpur had done so much for her, she owed her this as a thank you for all her help and support she’d given her. Here it was, the truth at last, no more secrets. “Yes, I know about it. But I’ve only known for a few months.” Harpur’s heart stopped beating for a second. So it was true after all. Her body folded in half and her legs couldn’t take the stress anymore. She was gagging for breath, windpipe closing up, she was suffocating, sweat pouring from every pore in her body. Joanne knelt down near her and tried to calm her down. “Maddie said she was going to her nana's. You need to sit down and speak with her. It’s her web of deceit, not mine.” There were so many tears, desperation, anxiety. What the hell was happening to this family? This was her baby girl, how could she hurt her like this, betray her? And with him, that no-good bastard!
Neil had been ringing Harpur for over two hours now. She kept blanking him and he was now sending endless messages. He was begging her to speak to him, to forgive him, to let him try and make it right. She lay in her bedroom with the curtains closed in complete darkness. Her body was curled up in a tight ball. Harpur looked at the picture frame near her bed, she gripped it with her hand and looked at Brady with hateful eyes. “So, you kept this from me. You sold me out for drugs. Maddie is my daughter and I thought you loved her like I do. No wonder you ended it all.” Her knuckles turned white as she clenched the frame and slung it at the wall facing her. “You mean nothing to me anymore. I thought we had each other’s backs. You bastard, I’ll never forgive you for this!” All night long Harpur lay waiting for her daughter to come home, but she never did. Joanne must have told her she was on the war path. She was such a double agent. Harpur checked the clock, she needed to go and find her, bring her home.
*
Melanie Byfield was stood at her front door smoking as Harpur drove past. It was like the car brakes were pressed for her, she had no control over them. The vehicle skidded and made Melanie look over towards the car. Harpur regained her composure and sat thinking for a few seconds. This woman was always with her brother and it was time to pay her another visit. She parked the car and made her way over. Melanie saw her straight away and rolled her eyes as she began to speak. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen our Maddie have you? We’ve had murders and she’s not come home yet?”
Melanie was wrecked and stank of alcohol. “I knew that kid was nothing but trouble. But how can you tell someone they are wrong when they think they’ve got it all figured out?”
“Tell me about it,” Harpur replied, “she knows I hate Paul Burton with a passion and yet she’s been going behind my back with him.”
Melanie must have taken it for granted that the big secret was out and carried on talking. This woman was pissed and swaying about. “Brady did all he could to help her. He got the money together she needed you know, well eventually. You know what he was like with any money he got. I went mad at him when I found out he’d spent it and if it wasn’t for your mam and her sister, I would dread to think what would have happened. Paul nearly killed Brady when he spent the money he gave him for the abortion. And I can tell you now, he wasn’t proud of it either. He cried his heart out to me you know. He knew he’d fucked up big time and he hated himself for it.” Harpur had to pretend she knew all about this, she never flinched, her heart was beating in her ears, taking in everything she said. “I had a couple who were willing to buy the baby if she decided to keep it too. You know me, I’m always here to help. Do you know they even gave us a grand as a deposit for the kid when it was born?” Harpur sucked hard on her bottom lip and shook her head slowly. “Brady done that money in too. Yep, on my life he took it right from under my nose. And he spent every bleeding penny of it. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him. I swear, I was going to shoot him in the balls. He knew what he’d done and I can tell you something for nothing, it pushed him over the edge.” Melanie coughed and banged her clenched fist on her chest, she was choking. A big ball of phlegm came flying out of her mouth, landing on the floor near her. She took a few deep breaths and continued with her story. “Brady watched Maddie crying for days, it broke his heart how much he’d let her down. I suppose he let us all down. But it was her he cared about, her that pulled on his heartstrings.”
How could she just stand there and take all this? Harpur was as cool as a cucumber and kept her face straight all the way through the conversation. Melanie shook her head and her eyes clouded over. “I loved him you know. I know he had his faults but he kept me sane. He picked me up when I was down and always supported me. He knew I was on the game too yet he never turned his back on me,” the tears started to fall now and she was sobbing her heart out. “I think about him every day and if I’m being honest with you, I may as well be dead with him because part of me died too when he left me here alone. Nothing means anything anymore. He kept me going.”
Harpur choked up. She had to stay strong, she’d done so well so far. She had to show no emotion, say goodbye and walk away. “We all loved him Melanie. The past is the past isn’t it. If you see our Maddie will you tell her to come home please.”
“I will love, she won’t be far. She’s got a good head on her that girl has, don’t be too hard on her, she’s had a bad time lately. She’s just been mixed up that’s all.” How could she talk about her daughter like that? How could Harpur not have seen what was right in front of her? No wonder Maddie moved in with Diane, it all made sense now. The cunning bastards had it all planned out. Maddie had told her she wanted more space and to get away from Joanne, when in fact she was pregnant and hiding it away from her. Was she so caught up in her own troubles that she’d let her daughter down? Harpur’s head was up her arse, she clenched her fist into tiny balls and started the car up. Sheila knew all along and had kept it a secret. What else wasn’t she telling her? There was only one way to find out, she was going to confront her.
*
Sheila’s house was in complete darkness, only a dim yellow light seeped from her bedroom window. Harpur sat outside in the car, scanning the area. Her mind was in overdrive and she wanted to calm down before she got her mother out of bed. This was one conversation she was going to have tonight for sure. So what if it upset her mother? It needed sorting out! Heads were goin
g to roll!
Harpur locked the car and walked into the garden, slamming the gate behind her knowing Sheila would be up at the window any second. Her mother was a light sleeper and at the slightest noise she was up out of bed at the window, checking it out. Brady had made her like this, he was like an alley cat, in and out of the house all night long. Harpur stood back looking up at the window until she saw the silhouette of her mother appear. Sheila was squeezing her eyes tightly together trying to focus. “It’s me. Open the door.” Two more lights came on in the house and Harpur prepared herself for war. She’d already texted Diane to meet her here, saying it was an emergency. Sheila opened the door and was just about to start moaning.
Harpur pushed her out of the way and barged into the living room. So much for being calm. She growled over at her mother and pointed her finger towards her chair. “Sit yourself down there. You have some explaining to do and there is no way you’re talking yourself out of this one. No fucking way in this world. I want answers. Diane is on her way too. I want to see the whites of your eyes when I ask you both some questions.”
Sheila sighed as she sat down. “Have you been drinking? Are you pissed or something? What time is it anyway? I need to go back to bed.” Sheila tried to get up from her chair but
Harpur rammed her hand into her shoulder and made sure she stayed put. “It’s truth time mother. That’s what fucking time it is. Time to cut the bullshit.”
Sheila looked at her daughter and she was frightened, she’d never seen her like this before. She backed off and fell into her chair. “What’s going on? Just tell me, you’re scaring me now. Is Neil alright? Don’t tell me you’ve done him in?”
Harpur sat down and pulled a cigarette out of her packet. She didn’t say a word, she just kept her eyes firmly fixed on her mother. How could she have done this behind her back? How could she betray her? She was a fucking Judas. After a few seconds, she walked to where her brother’s photograph was and picked it up with both hands. Sheila watched her carefully, what the hell was she doing? Was she going to smash it over her head? She was anxious, shaking. Harpur’s voice was calm as she spoke to her brother’s image. “So our kid, it’s truth time isn’t it. I know you’re here somewhere in this house so you sit down too and listen to what I have to say,” her head spun around and she made sure she had her mother’s attention. “You two are a pair of no good, dirty, lying bastards.”
There was near silence, only the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece could be heard. Sheila’s eyes were wide open. This poor woman looked like she was going to have a heart attack. Here it was, the lie, the deceit that she was covering up. “So, mother, when were you going to tell me that Maddie was pregnant?” Sheila gulped, her eyes were all over the place, fidgeting. Harpur repeated herself and this time she sat facing her mother. “Tell me what you know, you lying old cow. I know you and Diane know about this so cut the crap.”
The back door sprang open and Diane came flying inside. “What’s up, what’s happened? Are you alright Sheila, is it your breathing again?”
Harpur let out a menacing laugh and held her head back. “Oh, here she is, your partner in crime. Take a seat, the show's just about to start.”
Diane was just about to talk when Sheila spoke. “She knows that we helped Maddie.” Diane’s eyes were wide open and she sat down on the sofa. The shit had hit the fan for sure. “Harpur, the girl needed help, how could we tell you? We just did what we thought was best that’s all.”
Harpur hissed and clenched her teeth tightly together. “She’s my fucking daughter. Didn’t you think I had the right to know if she was knocked up?” Sheila tried to touch her arm but she shook her away. “Don’t touch me you traitor. After everything that has happened, I really thought me and you were strong. How could you do this to me?” Diane was trying to hush her up but she was just adding fuel to the fire. “Just calm down and I’ll tell you what happened. I mean, we’ll explain.”
Sheila coughed and cleared her throat. “This is my family. He was my son, so I’ll tell her.”
Sheila picked the photograph of Brady up and placed it so everyone could see him. The small grin on the portrait seemed to fade now. Brady’s eyes seemed to be full of sadness. “This is your mess and you’ll sit here and see the hurt you’ve caused. How many times did I tell you what the drugs were doing to you? You’ve hurt everyone who ever loved you.” Harpur looked over at her and bit hard on her lip. Sheila played with the cuff from her beige nightie as she began to reveal the truth. Diane’s head sunk, she was ashamed of her actions, regretting ever being a part of this. “Brady told me when it was too late. Maddie was head over heels in love with that Paul fella. And even though at first he thought it was a bit of fun, Brady told her to back off from him. That evil cunt knew his weakness though and kept on ringing him, promising him drugs to bring her with him. Brady was weak where drugs were concerned and when I say the drugs had a hold of him I mean, they really had a hold over him. He was in a bad way and he would have done anything to score. It was the worst I’d ever seen him. I’m not sticking up for him here, he was a mess.” Diane closed her eyes as the tears started rolling down the side of her cheeks. The story started to unfold. This was some dark secret. How could they have kept this from her? They weren’t ever to be trusted again. This was her family, people she loved and trusted. There was so much pain in this room; regrets, grief, lies, betrayal, they were a broken family.
Harpur listened to every detail and she never flinched. Once Sheila had confessed all, she stood up and shot a look at them both. There was nothing left to say. How could she ever talk to either of them again? Harpur picked up her belonging up and trudged slowly to the back door. Her hand gripped the handle with force, her knuckles turning white. “I’ll never darken this door again. You two are finished with me. You’ve done some things to me mother, but this, even for you, has topped it all.”
Diane tried to talk, to try and make her understand, but Harpur left and never looked back once.
*
Harpur’s phone hadn’t stopped ringing. There were endless texts from Dessie, calls from Neil and long messages from him begging her to let him come home. Where on earth was this girl's head at? Where was she going to go? Everyone she had loved had hurt her, deceived her, took the piss out of her. It was past midnight now and there wasn’t a soul on the streets, not a sound, silence.
Bridget opened her front door and sighed. “Come in love, get inside. You look perished. You should have come here earlier and I would have come with you. You don’t need to face this on your own,” Bridget was holding her hand as she came inside the house, guiding her. “Has Maddie been in touch, has she come home yet?” Bridget held her arms tightly around Harpur, hugging her, feeling her emotions rising. This was a bond nobody could break. Bridget was always there for her no matter what. She’d never judge her, she had her back. Not like that shower of shit she’d just left behind.
Harpur snivelled. “I’ve been everywhere looking for her Bridget, nobody’s seen sight or sound of her. I just want to hold my baby. How could she have gone through all this on her own? Her head must be a mess.”
“I know love, come on, let’s get you in bed. You look like you’re going to drop down where you’re stood. Have you eaten anything today? I’ll make us some toast and a brew.”
Harpur was in some kind of trance and it would be fair to say she was on the edge of reason, she looked like she could blow at any second, snap, lose the will to live. Bridget escorted her to the bedroom and left her alone while she went to make something to eat. She had something to tell her, some news she’d just found out. But was this the right time? Oh, she didn’t know anymore, fuck fuck fuck. Harpur found a t-shirt lying about on the floor in the room. She bent down and picked it up and dragged it over her head. She fell back onto the bed and just lay staring at the ceiling. She didn’t move a muscle, she just remained totally still. Bridget came back into the bedroom holding a plate with toast piled high on it and a cup
of tea in the other hand. “Harpur, come on, get a few slices of this. It might make you feel a little bit better. I bet you’ve not eaten all day have you?” She placed the food on the side with the drink and lay next to her best friend. “Come on girl, you’ve survived worse things than this. Everything will look different tomorrow. Sam’s home too so that will take the edge off it. You know what he’s like, he’ll make sure he gets to the bottom of it.”
Harpur was shell-shocked. She couldn’t speak. Bridget lay next to her and something was lying heavily on her mind. There was no way she could hold it any longer. She’d found out by accident but she was sure that once Harpur knew what she had to tell her, Dessie Ryan would be carted, history, a thing of the past. “Harpur, I was on Facebook today and got talking to our old friend, Josephine Dillon, you remember her don’t you?” Bridget may as well have been talking to herself, there was no response. “Well, Josephine was talking about Dessie and well, she told me who he was married to.” Bridget paused. Could she tell her? Would it break her heart all over again? She looked over at her and noticed she was asleep. She sighed. This would have to wait until the morning, bleeding hell, this was getting worse by the minute. Bridget could hear a text alert, she reached over and took Harpur’s phone from next to her. Clocking the screen, she started to read the message from Dessie. Sat looking at the phone, she scratched the top of her head. He was a twat, he didn’t deserve her, not now, not ever. How could he not have told her? Bridget flung the phone across the bed. She cuddled up to Harpur and pulled the quilt over her cold body. Slowly, she stroked the top of her head. “Ssshhh, everything is going to be alright. I’m here for you always, we’ll get through this. Trust me we will.”