by Karen Woods
Maddie needed this sorting out and quick. It was a stalemate. They both had secrets they wanted to keep but who was going to make the first move? Maddie cracked her knuckles and continued. “So where do we go from here? As I see it you can tell my mam about Paul and then I will tell Sam about you sleeping with him too. Is that what you want to do?”
This was clever, she put the ball in her court. Joanne twisted her hair around her finger. In two days Sam would be home and if he got a whiff of her being unfaithful he would make her life a misery, batter her until she was black and blue, tell everyone about her. There was no way she wanted that. She held her hand out towards Maddie and opened her eyes wide. “If you keep quiet, then so will I. It’s up to you. We can shake on it if you want?”
“That’s fine with me because either way we would both suffer. There is no love lost between us but I’ll be civil to you for my brother’s sake, that’s all. Just keep your big trap shut.”
Joanne agreed. “It’s fine by me.”
Maddie left the bedroom. So that was the secret she was hiding. What a dark horse she was. Harpur would have strangled her if she ever found this out, she would have disowned her. But for now, their lips were sealed and their secrets were safe.
*
Harpur sat in the taxi with Dessie. They were heading to the house Bridget had sorted out. Dessie had hold of her hand in the back of the car and every now and then, he lifted it up to his warm lips and kissed it. Considering what this woman was going through, she was doing, well to hide her true feelings. Any other woman would have been on the floor, never getting back up. They arrived at their destination and Dessie paid the fare. Harpur casually walked to the front door of the house as if she owned the property. This gaff was situated in a lovely area and it all seemed so peaceful and quiet, tranquil. The lovers entered the house together and the minute the door closed, Harpur grabbed hold of Dessie and kissed him passionately. This was their time, nobody else’s. Inside these walls, anything could happen and they could be whoever they wanted to be. This was hot and passionate lovemaking. Two bodies eager to feel each other’s touch, ravishing every inch of skin; kissing, touching, caressing. The need to be loved, fulfilled. There was no bed needed. The sex was all over the house, stairs, kitchen, floors. If this night ended right here, right now they would never forget the time they’d shared here together for the rest of their lives. These two had chemistry, passion, lust, love, an aching for each other, never wanting to let this moment go.
Harpur lay next to him in the king-sized bed, stroking her finger across his firm toned chest. Was he her destiny? Was he the one? Her eyes held so much sadness and it looked like she was going to break down crying any second. Dessie swept her hair back from her forehead and twisted her to look at him. “Harpur, you know I love you don’t you?” Did she? In her head this was fun, a bit of slap and tickle but now they were face to face, he’d confused her by saying he loved her. This wasn’t ever part of the plan, she had just wanted a bit of fun. How had she ended up like this? She supposed if you play with fire you always get burnt, no matter which way you look at it. It was time for her to confess, tell her lover all about her troubles.
“I caught my husband spying at my son’s girlfriend, Dessie. I’ve flung him out and I’ll never ever let that man near me again.”
He swallowed hard and asked her to repeat herself. He wasn’t sure if he heard her correctly. Once she told him again, he froze. What should he say, what should he do? His grip tightened on her. “I’m so sorry. How could he do that to you?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore does it. It’s done. They say things happen for a reason and I believe I’m no longer meant to be with Neil.”
This was music to his ears. This meant she was free, single, could do whatever she wanted. He was getting excited. “Come and live with me. Come to Spain and let’s start a new life together. I promise you Harpur, you won’t regret it.”
She thought about it. Yes, it would have been a great idea, an amazing time. But this was his life, his dream, not hers. “Dessie, I hardly know you. Okay, we knew each other when we were younger but things change. I’ve changed. Anyway, you’re married. You have commitments.”
Dessie raised his eyes and ragged his hand through his hair. “There is some stuff I haven’t told you. The timing for us is perfect. My marriage is over too. The moment I started talking to you again I knew where my heart was. Wendy is not who I planned to spend the rest of my life with. She made me lose the only girl I’ve ever loved.”
Harpur started to fidget about in the bed. He said his wife’s name, this made it real now. This was too much for her. Her heart was racing, head all over the place. Why was he saying all this stuff to her now? The years had gone by and if he loved her like he said he did, why didn’t he ever try coming to look for her? She was frustrated, confused. “Dessie, don’t say any more. You left me for the hanging slapper when we were younger. You could have come and tried to put things right with me but you never did. No, you carried on with your life and probably slept with a hundred more women. So, don’t lie to me about always loving me. It’s just lies and it makes my blood boil.”
Dessie sat up, he was fighting his corner now, he had tell her how it was. “You were with him, that tosser. I was going to come and see you but the next thing I heard you were pregnant. What could I have done then, ay?” This was getting heated. Dessie was quiet for a while and he dropped his head. “There are some things you don’t know about me and I need to tell you some stuff before I leave.”
Harpur was drifting off to sleep and she’d switched off. “Go to sleep love, I’m just so tired. Talk to me later. I feel like I could sleep for a year.”
Dessie stared into space. His hand stroked the bottom of her back. He’d lost her once before and he was never losing her again, no way. As soon as the morning light cracked through the curtains he was going to tell her everything, the truth.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Harpur left Dessie still sleeping. She had so much to sort out, so many problems to solve. It was a good job she had an appointment with her counsellor today because she needed some help, somebody to listen to her, to tell her everything was going to be alright. She started to walk down the street. She didn’t really have a clue where she was going but once she got to the main road she would gather her bearings. A car honked its horn in the distance. A man was waving over at her.
“Oi, sexy. Where do you think you’re going?” It was Donny shouting from across the road. Harpur pulled her coat tightly around her. This was the walk of shame for sure and there was no way she wanted Donny to know she’d not been home all night. Harpur walked over to his car, perhaps he could give her a lift home? “Morning, what are you doing around here?” he asked in a curious voice.
“Oh, it’s a long story. Any chance you can give me a lift home?”
Donny opened the passenger door. “For you my lady, anything.” Harpur liked his style, he was so confident and there was just something about him. Okay, she’d been out with him for dinner but that was as far as it went. He was too good looking, a pretty boy. Why on earth did he want her when he could have had any woman he wanted? Perhaps he was looking for a mother figure; a cook, a cleaner, someone to look after him? The two of them drove onto the main road and she could feel his eyes all over her. “So you were out last night then? I mean, I can tell a woman who’s stayed out after a night on the beer a mile away.”
She giggled and knew the game was up, she had to come clean. “Yeah, I was at a friend’s party and I must have got that pissed that I fell asleep on the sofa.”
Donny examined her and held his head to the side. “And, your fella, he doesn’t mind you not coming home all night?”
She should have kept her mouth shut really but she was flirting and didn’t care anymore. “I’m single now Donny. So I can come and go whenever I want.”
Donny was gobsmacked, he rubbed his hands together; his day had just got better. “So you’re free to come
on a night out with me then?”
“If I wanted to but at the moment I’m just chilling. It’s been years since I’ve been single and I don’t want to jump into anything so soon.”
Donny sniggered, “I wouldn’t mind you jumping into bed with me love.”
Harpur smirked, this guy made her laugh and if things had been different, she would have given him a chance. But, no, she wasn’t going to lead him on. “Donny, you’re bloody gorgeous. But you need to find someone your own age. I’m too old for you and I have to be honest. Me and you are never going to happen.”
Donny was shocked. “What, ever?”
She smiled and replied. “Not ever.”
“Can we still be friends then? And if you ever fancy a hot steamy sex session, you know you can always give me a call right?”
She reached over and patted the middle of his arm as he carried on driving. “Donny, if I ever need some sex I’ll make sure you’re the first person I call.” These two were good friends now and she knew if she ever needed a friendly ear to bend, he would be on her list. He was sweet and caring and just what she needed at this moment in time. Donny took directions from Harpur and headed home. He turned the music up and wound the windows down as he danced about in his seat. He was so lively, so full of life.
As Harpur walked into the house, Maddie stuck her head out of the front door. “Mam, who was that who dropped you off?”
“Just a friend love, no one you know.”
Maddie slammed the door shut and marched behind her mother into the front room. “Have you just spent the night with him?”
Harpur sniggered and brushed the comment off. “No, he’s just a man I know from work that’s all. I stayed at Bridget’s and he gave me a lift home. It saved me getting on the bus didn’t it? Piss off anyway interrogating me. I’m the mother here not you.”
Maddie was on one and she ranted as she continued following her about the room. “Don’t think you can go sleeping about now with random guys just because my dad isn’t here. Angela’s mam started off like this and now her name is shit around here, don’t end up like her.”
Harpur stopped dead in her tracks. Who did she think she was talking to? She wanted to learn some respect for her elders. She stormed back and pointed her index finger in her daughter’s face. “For your information sweetheart, if I want to drop my knickers for the whole estate I will. Don’t you ever think you can dictate to me! When I need your advice I’ll ask for it, so until then, keep your mouth shut.”
Maddie knew she’d overstepped the mark. “I’m just saying that’s all. God, you can’t say anything in this house anymore without somebody biting your head off. Everybody needs to calm down and chill out.”
“Don’t say anything then and we’ll be fine. If anything, you should be round at your dad's telling him about his late night affairs, not pecking my head.”
“Mam, he made a mistake. One lousy mistake and you’re going on like it’s the end of the world. Our Sam’s home tomorrow, what are you going to tell him, ay? Have you even thought about the trouble it will cause in this family? He’ll snap with Neil. Kick his head in, is that what you want?”
Harpur snorted and sneered over at her. “If Sam finds out then so what? I’m not protecting his dark seedy secret.” Harpur left the room and headed upstairs. She was late for her appointment already and she had to rush.
Mark was checking his watch as Harpur hurried through the door. “Late again Harpur. You’d be late for your own funeral you would.”
Obviously Mark had a sense of humour today, he was smiling. Harpur dragged her coat off and blew warm breath onto her hands. “That funeral may be sooner than you think Mark, when I tell you what’s been happening.”
He sat forward in his seat. He loved this woman’s life, there was never a dull moment. There was a text alert on her phone but she just ignored it. Mark sat eagerly listening to her story, he’d never heard anything like it in his life. This was a drama for sure. She told him about Dessie too and now she was waiting on his wise advice. “Should I go and live with Dessie? I mean, give it a go?”
Mark had to think about this and took a few seconds to gather his thoughts. There was no way he could make the choice for her, she needed to do it herself. “So, this Dessie says he’s always loved you?”
“That’s what he said but I’m not sure. If that was the case then why has he never tried to contact me before now?”
Mark nodded, she made a good point and he knew she had her head screwed on. “What is your heart telling you to do?”
Harpur had to think about this, she wasn’t sure. Since her brother’s death her heart was in a right state, it wasn’t working properly anymore. It just ached twenty-four hours a day and she wasn’t sure what she felt anymore. Was she feeling anything in her heart for Dessie, was this real love or just an escape from her stressful life? Mark could see she was struggling with an answer. “I think you need time alone to figure out what you really want. If this man says he loves you then he will wait forever for you won’t he?”
These were wise words and she knew he was right. Her head wasn’t in the right place at the moment and she shouldn’t be making such big decisions where her life was concerned. Today was her last appointment with Mark and she wasn’t really sure if he’d helped her in any way. Yes, he’d listened to her problems and probably helped her deal with her past, but had he really got her over her issues? Maybe it did help to talk to someone about the problems, or maybe it didn’t.
As they finished, Mark stood and held his hand out towards her. “I wish there was more funding to keep you here for a few more months Harpur but the NHS cuts have hit us all hard. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and I wish you so much happiness in the future. If it’s any use to you, I’d follow my heart. It’s never let me down before. You get one chance at happiness, so take it with both hands and enjoy it.”
Harpur choked up, this was emotional. This man knew her darkest secrets, her fears, things that made her happy. She felt like she was saying goodbye to a dear friend. It wasn’t professional but she grabbed him closer and hugged him tightly. “Thanks for everything Mark. I know I’ve been a handful at times but thanks for the time and effort you took trying to fix me.” Harpur looked at him one last time before she left the room. It was up to her now, she had to be the one who made the choices.
As Harpur walked towards her car in the car park she could see a man in the distance looking in all the car windows he was passing. Her pace quickened, heels clipping along the pavement. This man was a thief, she knew the signs and he was definitely ready to smash a car window to get whatever he had clocked inside the vehicle. Harpur froze, eyes squeezing tightly together, it was him. She sprinted towards the man and gripped him by the back of his hood. “Gotcha, you little rat.”
The man was trying to break free but when he saw who it was, he held his hands up and fell back onto a parked car. “Harpur, what the fuck are you doing, I shit it then. I thought I’d been lifted?”
This was no time for small talk, she wanted answers. “You know what I want from you and let me tell you something Tony, if you don’t tell me what you know, then I’ll make sure I get you nicked. I’ll say you attacked me,” she watched his jaw drop. “Yes, you’ll be in the cells for hours rattling.. You know how that feels don’t you Tony? So, what is it going to be then?”
Tony gulped and his Adam’s apple was bulging through his thin grey skin. A night in custody was more than he could bear, just the thought of it made his toes curl. “Nar, Harpur. I’ll tell you anything I will. I’ve just been busy that’s all.”
Harpur knew she had him by the short and curlies. Her plan had worked. “Right, get in my car. I won’t keep you long. Ten minutes, tops.”
Tony shot his eyes about, he was cornered and there was no escape. He opened the car door and plonked his scrawny body inside. Harpur made sure he was safe and pressed the button for the central locking, he was going nowhere. The smell from this man was put
rid, he stunk of horse shit. She opened the window slightly and moved her body away from him. Popping a cigarette into her mouth, she passed one to Tony. “You know what I want to hear so don’t make me waste my breath. Tell me what went on with Brady, cut the bullshit too, I just want the truth.”
Tony dropped his head and turned the cigarette round in his yellow stained fingers. This wasn’t easy for him; he was grassing his best mate up. Bubbling on him. “It was Paul who got him involved. He fancied her from the moment he first saw her and he was constantly ringing him trying to get him to sort a date out. She is gorgeous, everyone fancies her. She was like the forbidden fruit to him. He gave him free drugs, tablets, food, everything to keep him sweet. Honest the guy was besotted with her. What did you expect him to do?”
Harpur was puzzled. What the hell was he going on about?
“Maddie liked him too and that’s when the trouble started. Paul had a girlfriend and she was only ever going to be a bit on the side. Brady tried to sort it out when it went pear-shaped but Paul was too big for him. The prick didn’t care about Maddie once he’d slept with her and he threatened Brady that if she grassed him up to his girlfriend, he was going to put him in a body bag. Brady was fucked, how could he have done anything? Maddie was heartbroken and then she told him about…”
Tony stopped talking, he’d said too much already. Harpur scratched her head. This wasn’t sinking in. Did he say her daughter’s name or was it someone else? “Who’s Maddie?”
Tony was sweating now, agitated, ready to leave, his hands pulling at the door handle in a mad panic. “Your Maddie. Come on now Harpur, I need to go. I’ve said too much. I made a promise to Brady that I would never say a word about this to anyone. Melanie knows more than me, go and see her.”
Harpur pressed the button to open the door. There were no goodbyes, Tony sprinted off into the distance. Harpur dropped her head onto the steering wheel. “NOOOOO!” she screamed at the top of her voice. Her fingers trembled as she tried to turn the engine over, legs shaking. She needed to find her daughter as soon as possible. She needed answers, she needed to know the truth. The car raced out of the car park. She was driving like a lunatic, weaving in and out of the traffic. This couldn’t be true, her own daughter, her own flesh and blood had deceived her. There was yet another text alert on her phone. She ignored it again. There was only one thing on her mind right now and that was finding Maddie.