Seasons of Her Life

by Fern Michaels

  “What color is it?”

  “Color?” Andrew asked stupidly. He had to think. “Green and yellow. Is it important?”

  “No. It was something to say. You never talked much about yourself.”

  “Marines are like that. We’re private people,” he said, puffing out his chest.

  “Do you read?”

  “Everything I can get my hands on.”

  “I wish I’d known all this about you before.”

  “All you had to do was ask,” Andrew said softly. “I figured if I started telling you all kinds of things, you’d think I was bragging. I wanted you to like me for myself.”

  “How could I do that, Andrew, if I didn’t know you? These past months you were like a cardboard figure to me. Even now, all I really know about you is that you like to read, you can knit, and you have fresh hands. Not much after you’ve been seeing someone for a couple of months.”

  “How much do you know about that bird in the air force?” he asked sourly.

  “Enough. He took the time to let me get to know him.”

  “You weren’t interested in me. You told me so yourself. You even admitted that you used me to see him. How do you suppose I felt when ... that was a real cheap trick, Ruby,” Andrew said piously.

  Ruby blushed. “I know and I’m sorry. It’s just that my sister ...”

  “Speaking of your sister. I think I saw her the other day. She works at the Pentagon with you, doesn’t she? I had to go over there for my C.O. She didn’t see me, though.” Get it now, Blue, otherwise it’s a lost cause. The guys said to go through the sister.

  “Amber works at the Navy Annex.”

  Andrew motioned to the waitress. This time he didn’t snap his fingers. “We’ll have two shrimp salad sandwiches, two orders of potato salad, and some cole slaw. I’ll have another beer and the young lady will have a ginger ale.” She was dismissed the moment his gaze returned to Ruby. She looked surprised. Maybe he shouldn’t have ordered for her. Don’t lose the initiative now, he told himself.

  Andrew assumed a calculated pose of hurtful bewilderment. “I saw you first, Ruby. That should count for something. Is it my fault you had to go to the bathroom and met this other ... guy? I told you I was active in sports in school. Well, at the end of every game you had a winning score and at the end of the season you went on to participate in the finals or playoffs. If you won, you got a prize. That’s how I thought of you, Ruby. You were going to be my prize. I was playing the game the only way I knew how. I’ve been with a lot of girls, but I’m the first to admit I don’t know anything about them. Sure, I’ve played bedsheet roulette, all guys do, but it doesn’t mean anything.” He leaned back to better observe the conflicting emotions play across the girl’s face. Blue, you are a ring-tailed son of a bitch, he complimented himself.

  Ruby seemed at a loss for words. Andrew leaned across the table and took her hands in his. Ruby jerked backward and yanked her hands free. Andrew’s eyes turned sad and woebegone. “I’m really a nice guy. My parents think I’m one of a kind. I’m nice to little kids and dogs. I used to be a Boy Scout.” Christ, she wasn’t responding to anything he was saying. “You must have liked me a little to go out with me even if ... it was to cover up for that ... other guy. How much do you know about him, Ruby? And, yeah, I got the drift of what your boss was saying. When’s the wedding?” he asked softly.

  “It’s none of your business, Andrew,” Ruby said miserably.

  “It is my business. Everything is fair in love and war.”

  “You don’t know anything about me. You can’t be in love with me,” Ruby said tightly.

  “That’s true, I don’t know nearly enough about you. I didn’t want to go too fast, to rush you. I didn’t want to take advantage of you, and for God’s sake, don’t throw that hotel in my face. That’s what made me realize you were ... worth fighting for, worth waiting for. Ah, Ruby, rethink what you’re planning on doing. Don’t go off half-cocked and make the biggest mistake of your life. If you won’t tell me when, it must be soon.”

  “I’m leaving in five days. Now, you can go to my sister and tell her all about it. That’s your plan, isn’t it? It isn’t going to work. I’ve made up my mind and if you do anything to interfere, I’ll hate you forever. And if you care about me like you say you do, then you should want to see me happy. Look, I don’t care for shrimp salad, and cole slaw isn’t on my favorite-food list. It would have been nice if you consulted me before ordering.” Ruby fished around in her purse for change and laid a dollar and ten cents on the table. “Good-bye, Andrew.”

  “She dumped you, huh?” the gum-chewing waitress snickered. “You spit-and-polish marines are all alike. I could have told you she was going to do that the minute you ordered her food. I seen it in her face.” She slapped the check on the table and sashayed to her post.

  Fall back and regroup, Andrew cautioned himself. He still had five days.

  Ruby didn’t know if she was angry or elated as she stepped onto the trolley and dropped in her token. She settled back and rode through two full stops before she hopped off and crossed the center island to wait for a trolley that would take her back to Sadie’s.

  She was impatient, tapping her foot on the hard concrete as her eyes scanned the knots of people out for an evening stroll. Somehow she had to find Andrew. She crossed her fingers the way she had when she was little and expecting the worst. What would she do if he was gone? He hadn’t looked angry. On the contrary, he’d looked rather smug. And that could mean only one thing. He was going to go to her sister. Why would he do such a thing? Just to make trouble? She suspected he’d given her a real con job, telling her he considered her a prize, but it was nice to hear. Worth waiting for. And worth causing trouble for?

  Ten minutes later Ruby smoothed her skirt and shook her shoulders to try to relax before she entered Sadie’s. She decided to look into the window before she entered the crowded deli-bar unescorted. Her heart thumped crazily in her chest as she pressed her face up close to the frosted glass. Then her breath exploded in a loud hiss. Andrew was inside, laughing with three girls. Andrew chose that moment to lift his head. She swore she saw him mouth the words “Oh, shit” before she turned and ran. She hopped onto a trolley, bound for God only knew where. She dropped a third token, grabbed a transfer, and staggered to the back, where she sat next to an elderly man carrying on a conversation with himself. She joined in, muttering to herself. It wasn’t until she reached Dupont Circle that she realized the man was conversing with his dead wife.

  Andrew Blue’s face was disdainful as he went through the cafeteria line at the Navy Annex. In his crisp marine uniform he stood out like a pimple on a debutante’s nose. Not that he gave a damn. He was there on what he called a bullshit mission, and he could sling it with the best of his superiors. He knew he was being a real prick, but he didn’t give a damn about that, either.

  It was five minutes till noon, the hour when most secretaries took their lunch. He scanned the food trays and decided on ham and cheese and iced tea. He didn’t want any messy lunch staring him in the face when he spoke to Amber Connors.

  He’d gotten there just in time to grab a table for four all to himself. The swabbies were eyeing him and probably wondering what he was doing there. “Bullshit, men, pure bullshit,” he muttered, sinking his teeth into the dry-looking sandwich, his eyes glued to the entrance.

  Three minutes later Amber Connors walked through the door with her friend ... Edna ... Ellie ... something like that. No, Ethel. That was it. He waited as they chose their lunch, and when they came toward his table, he stood, his bearing Marine Corps all the way. He knew the swabbies’ eyes were on his six-foot-two frame, as well they should have been. By God, the Corps did turn out a superior individual.

  “Miss Connors,” he said just loud enough for Amber to hear. He motioned to his table in the rapidly filling dining room. Amber’s face broke into a simpering smile.

  He was courtly and gracious when he pulled the chairs fr
om the table and held them for the girls. “Fancy meeting you here. And I thought I was going to have to eat alone.”

  “What brings you to the Annex, Andrew?” Amber asked, shaking her napkin free and settling it on her lap. Remembering her manners, she said, “You met Ethel, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, and the pleasure was all mine,” he said. His smile, warm and wide, seemed to embrace both girls. Amber preened, and Ethel flushed.

  They talked about the weather, the seasons of the year, the approaching holidays. It was an awkward conversation, but Andrew adroitly managed to turn the conversation around to himself and Ruby.

  “I really liked her and I’m going to miss her,” he said with just the right amount of regret in his voice.

  Amber picked at her salad. “Oh, are you being transferred?” She didn’t sound as though she cared one way or the other.

  Andrew wagged his finger under her nose. “Aren’t you the sly one.” Amber smiled, as if it were a compliment. Another hayseed. “No, I’m referring to Ruby. Are you standing up for her? Gee, did I say something wrong? You being her sister and all. I just assumed ... guess I put my foot in it, huh?”

  Ethel stopped chewing.

  “What are you talking about?” Amber demanded, laying her fork across the plate.

  “C’mon, Miss Connors, don’t put me on the spot like this. I’m sorry if I said something that ... look, I’m sorry,” he said, gathering up his plate and napkin. “I’ve got the general’s staff car, and he’s going to need it. Gotta go. It was real nice seeing you again. Guess we won’t be seeing each other again.”

  “Wait,” Amber said, panic in her voice. “Explain what you just said.”

  “Look, I’m out of line here. With Ruby getting married tomorrow, I just thought you would ... Look, I really didn’t mean to upset you. These things happen in families all the time.” He was babbling now, something he was real good at when it came to females. Girls loved to think they were throwing him for a loop. He smiled uneasily, shifting from one foot to the other. He noticed that Ethel still wasn’t chewing. Amber’s face grew red with anger.

  Over his shoulder, sotto voce, Andrew said, “Give my best to Ruby and tell her I hope she’s happy with that ... that ... Filipino, or whatever he is.”

  “Filipino?” Amber gasped. “Come back here, Andrew,” she ordered tightly.

  “Can’t, Miss Connors, I’m late now. I hate to say this, but the gentleman in me has to. The best man won, and it wasn’t me.”

  Amber watched him leave, as did every other secretary in the dining room.

  Ethel resumed chewing, but her eyes were lowered.

  Amber took one deep breath and then another. Ruby was getting married tomorrow! It had to be some kind of joke, but the marine hadn’t looked as if he was joking.

  “My God!” was all she could say.

  “Wouldn’t Ruby—”

  “No, she wouldn’t,” Amber snapped. “She was always a sneak. She must be planning on running off. Right under my nose! I have to go now, Ethel. I have to call home. No, I can’t do that, either. My father won’t be home till four o’clock, and I can’t tell my mother something like this.”

  “Amber, wait,” Ethel pleaded. “Why do you have to tell them? Obviously, Ruby is trying to keep it a secret. If she’s in love, why can’t you let her be happy? If she was my sister, I wouldn’t tell. I think you should mind your own business.”

  “Ruby is my business,” Amber spat out.

  “Not really. She’s doing just fine on her own. I remember when she got here in June. She was like both of us when we arrived. Now she has a better job than both of us put together. She’s going to school at night. She’s got some nice clothes and ... Amber, she’s trying to be happy like the rest of us.”

  Amber pushed her tray away. “You don’t understand, Ethel. My father—”

  “I’ve pretty much figured it out about him on my own. You’re over twenty-one now, and there’s nothing he can do to you. Before you decide to fink on Ruby, you better look at what you’re doing yourself. Nangi is ... well, you know what he is. You can’t be this unfair.” Ethel stuck a forkful of lettuce in her mouth and chewed methodically, but her eyes remained on Amber. “Forget what this Andrew Blue said.”

  Amber leaned back in her chair. Nobody wanted to hurt Ruby. Why was that? If she listened to Ethel, she would be defying her father. He would hate her, blame her. Probably disown her. In her mind she wasn’t sure if her father didn’t hate her already, the way he hated Ruby, and her mother, and probably Opal, too. Maybe he hated all women. Damn, how had Ruby managed to pull this off? Without Andrew she still wouldn’t know. Part of her had to admire her sister’s deviousness and subterfuge. And there was something else to consider. If her sister really did run off and get married, she would be someone else’s problem from now on.

  Amber gathered up her tray and smiled down at her friend, her only friend. “Andrew who?”

  Ethel laughed and followed her from the dining room.

  CHAPTER THREE

  With the mail clutched tightly in her fist and her book bag thumping against her slender thighs, Opal Connors raced to her grandmother’s after school. Ohhh, she could hardly wait to read her sister’s letter. Her grandmother had gotten one as well. She would be so happy to hear from Ruby.

  Her mood sobered. She should write to Ruby. She should tell Ruby about how hard it was becoming for their grandmother to breathe. She should tell her that the doctor came by every other day, sometimes every day, and about all the pills she had to take. Her uncle Hank always looked scared now when he looked at his mother, and Uncle John stayed real close to home. They hardly ever left the house these days.

  Her own routine had changed too. Every day before school, she would skip over to the little fieldstone house to pick up the grocery list to drop off at the company store. She’d pick up the groceries and lug them home on her lunch hour, fix her grandmother a sandwich or a bowl of soup, and then go back to school.

  After school she would pick up the mail from the box at the post office, return to the little house, start supper, do a few odd chores, and then run home to do her own chores. She’d return again after supper to do the dishes for her grandmother and fold the laundry. She was doing many of the things Ruby used to do. Ruby had also ironed, though, and she had scrubbed and hung out laundry. In the summer she had even mowed the lawn if her uncles worked double shifts. Opal wondered how her sister did it all.

  Opal was always so tired and cranky, but maybe that was because she was keeping the state of her grandmother’s health from her sister. Keeping secrets made her dizzy. She wished she could complain to someone about how tired she was. She wished she had time to jump rope and play marbles and jacks with the other kids.

  Opal was breathless when she banged the kitchen screen door. “I’m here, Bubba, and there’s a letter from Ruby. Bubbaaaaa.”

  “Shhh, Opal,” Mrs. Matia, her grandmother’s neighbor, said, placing her index finger to her lips. “Your grandmother is in bed. She ... your grandmother’s had a stroke.”

  “What’s a stroke?”

  “Why it’s a ... it’s not important for you to know. She’s very sick, Opal, so you should go home now and don’t caterwaul like that again. You hear me, Opal?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Opal whispered. “Is my grandmother going to die?”

  “More than likely,” Mrs. Matia said briskly. “You best tell your ma and pa. Go on now.”

  Opal looked at the letters in her hand. Should she leave them for her uncles? Or should she take them with her so she could read them tonight in her room? Opal waged a battle with herself until her forehead beaded with sweat. She wanted to read the letters. She decided she would keep her own and leave her grandmother’s.

  “Mrs. Matia, will you take this letter to my grandmother’s room? My uncles will read it to her later. Ruby’s letters always make Bubba feel better.”

  “I’ll take it up and you tell your pa it isn’t right for neig
hbors to be seeing to a person’s own mother. You tell him to send your ma over here. I have my own family to take care of. Mind me, Opal, and do as I say.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Opal said, stuffing Ruby’s letter into her history book.

  Tears were dribbling down Opal’s cheeks when she came to the monument works. She’d never stopped there, not once, neither had Ruby or Amber. She climbed the two steps that led to the front office of Mr. Riley’s business. No one was there. Hesitantly, she pushed at the door leading to a cavernous room beyond. Sounds of chisels hitting stone grated on her ears.

  Opal stared at her father’s broad back and muscular arms as he hammered his chisel into a large piece of marble. Would he do Bubba’s stone?

  She waited for a lull of sound and said “Pop” in a squeaky voice. George Connors turned, his eyes full of something that scared Opal half to death. “Mrs. Matia said I should tell you ... Bubba had a ... a stroke and she’s most likely to die. She said to tell you it isn’t right for neighbors to take care of Bubba and you should send Mom over.” Opal turned and ran. She knew she’d get whipped for daring to enter her father’s place of work, but now she didn’t care because later she would have Ruby’s letter to read. She could read it all night long, over and over.

  Opal cut through the backyards and ran headlong into Grace Zachary, who was pulling weeds from her flower border.

  “Whoa, Opal.” She laughed. “Oh, honey, what’s the matter?” she asked as she noticed the tears falling down the little girl’s cheeks.

  Opal blurted out the past hour’s happening, ending with “I know he’s going to whip me. Mrs. Matia said to do it. My pop always said you have to mind your elders. It was important to tell him, wasn’t it, Mrs. Zachary?”

  “Of course,” Grace crooned, gathering the little girl in her arms. “Look, sweetie, I know this isn’t going to sound ... I mean you might not understand, but someday you will. Nothing is forever. Pretty soon you’ll be as big as Ruby, and you’ll go away. In the meantime you have to make the best of things. If you ever need someone to talk to, come right on over. Scoot now, go in the back door and you can be up in your room when your pa gets to the house. Hurry, Opal,” Grace said anxiously.