Barely Breathing

by Ancelli

  He stood when she came over to the table, kissed her cheek, and pulled out the chair for her. Waiting until she was seated, he sat across from her.

  “Thank you,” she said with a smile.

  Somehow, every time he saw her she was more beautiful. He wondered if it had always been about her outer beauty, if he’d imagined the person on the inside. “You’re welcome,” he said.

  “John, when are you coming home?” She took his hand in hers. “I’ve been back for more than two months, and I’ve proven to you that I’m clean. I haven’t had a drink in nine months.”

  He gently pulled his hand from hers, and picked up the menu. “I’m happy at your recovery, but that was part of the problem.”

  She also picked up her menu. “I haven’t been with anyone else, because all I want is you.”

  The waiter came over with water and took their orders.

  “Don’t you think Johnny deserves both his parents?” She gazed at him. “Don’t you want him to have what you didn’t?”

  He couldn’t believe she was using that line. “I think we need to take small steps.”

  “What do you call what we’ve been doing for the last two months? At least move back in.”

  “Okay,” he said, making her smile from ear to ear.

  “Okay, what?”

  “I’ll think about moving back in.”

  She got up, rushed over to him, kissed and hugged him. “You won’t regret this.”

  “I haven’t said yes yet.”

  “But you’re thinking about it, and that’s a good step.”

  At that moment he looked up and saw Sophia and some Spanish-looking guy heading out of the restaurant. He couldn’t help it; he felt a sting of jealousy. Sophia wore her hair in a French braid. He missed the feel of her hair between his fingers. The shirt she had on showed off her mocha shoulders. He missed the touch of her skin. Then Amy kissed him one more time and sat back down, which snapped him back to reality. In contrast to the tension inside him, he gave Amy a casual glance. It seemed she hadn’t seen her.

  When Amy’s cell rang, and she went to answer it, he couldn’t resist the opportunity and temptation.

  “I’ll be right back.” He stood and walked out to the entrance, and there she was standing at the curb, waiting for who he assumed was her date. “Sophia.”

  She turned around to face him, and their gazes met. Her eyes sparkled.

  He strolled over to her. “How have you been?”

  “I can’t complain.” She smiled. “You took my advice.”

  He couldn’t stop gawking at her lips.

  “I’m so happy you’re giving your marriage a second chance.” She looked nervous. “Well, it was good seeing you again.”

  “Sophia.” He clutched her wrist. “Did you get my messages?”

  “Yes. I’m not even going ask how you did it. I’m so thankful.” She stared at his hand. “I wanted to call you, but…”

  “But what?” He rubbed her wrist.

  “John, I can’t do this…”

  He released her hand. “Who is that?” he asked as the car pulled up to the curb.

  She chuckled. “It’s none of your business.” She surprised him by hugging him. He hugged her back, inhaling her scent. “I have to go.” She pulled away, walked over to the car and got in quickly and waved goodbye. He watched as the car pulled off, then returned to his wife.

  Amy hung up her phone as soon as she saw him coming. He found it odd but decided to let it go.

  “Where did you go?” she asked him, and then took a sip from her water.

  The waiter came back with their food, set it down, and excused himself.

  “I saw Sophia.” He said cutting his steak. He decided honesty was the best policy.

  Her face began turning red.

  “Calm down. I was just saying hi.” He took a bite.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t speak to her again.”

  He placed his fork and knife down. “Amy, if this is going to work, we need to try to trust each other. I’ve never told you who you can and can’t be friends with.”

  “You went out of your way to talk to her.”

  “I haven’t seen her in months. I just wanted to see how she was doing.” He picked up his utensils and started eating. “Fine. It was inconsiderate of me. It won’t happen again,” he said, trying to enjoy his meal.

  She smiled and commenced eating her food. “Thank you for understanding.”

  “You need to be honest with me, even if you think it will hurt me.”

  “The same goes for you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sophia sat in Kay’s back yard, thinking of everything she’d been through. Her life had been a mess since she was young, and now she had to pick up and leave again.

  It had been two weeks since she’d seen John at the restaurant. There was so many times she wanted to pick up the phone and tell him how she really felt but knew it wouldn’t be wise. Instead, she’d written him a letter, and had left it with Kay.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” Kay said, carrying a tray with tuna sandwich.

  “Mmm, how did you know I was hungry?” Sophia sat up and grabbed one.

  Kay gave her a suspicious glare. “It seems like you’re hungry all the time.”

  “I’m not.” She took a big bite. “Maybe it’s your fault. Maybe you make me hungry.” She laughed.

  “Here.” Kay handed her a glass of iced tea.

  “Thank you.” She took it from her, sipped, and continued to eat.

  Kay sat on the lounge chair. “Why can’t you stay a little longer?”

  Sophia placed the glass down on the lounge table and took Kay’s hand. “It’s time.”

  “I know. I just don’t want you to leave. You’re the sister I never had, and I love you.”

  “Kay, I will always be your sister.” She squeezed her hand. “We have to leave soon.” Sophia stood, and picked up her plate and glass. “Thank you for lunch.”

  They placed the dishes in the sink, and rinsed them off.

  “Cara, it’s time to say goodbye,” Sophia called out.

  The little girl came into the kitchen with Angel, Jacob, and Jeremy right behind her. “Mommy, do we have to go?” Cara asked her.

  Sophia gave her the stern stare that would tell her she already knew the answer. “Yes.”

  Cara hugged them one by one. Angel held on tight. “I’m going to miss you, Cara.”

  “Me too.” Jacob said, giving her his favorite teddy bear. “Here. He’ll keep you safe.”

  Cara took the teddy bear. “Thank you, Jacob.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Sophia kneeled down, kissed and hugged Angel and Jacob. “I love you guys.”

  “I love you too, Auntie Sophie.” Angel grabbed on tighter.

  “Me too,” Jacob said.

  Jacob and Angel sadly left the kitchen.

  Kay picked up her little boy, and walked them to Sophia’s car.

  “I’m going to miss you.” Kay hugged her tight.

  “Me too.” Tears ran down her face. She kissed Jeremy’s chunky cheeks. “Remember to give John the letter.”

  “I will.”

  Cara climbed into the SUV and buckled herself up. Sophia gave Kay one more hug, got in, pushed the ignition button, and drove off.

  In her rear view mirror, Sophia watched Kay and Jeremy wave until she couldn’t see them anymore.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “I heard you’re back with your wife,” Jason said from John’s office door.

  “Something like that.”

  “How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  He kept typing on his keyboard as Jason walked in. “I can’t complain.”

  He strolled over in front of John’s desk and sat in the chair. “How is everything with Amy?”

  He looked at his screen while he answered. “It’s okay.”

  “Just oka
y?”

  “Honestly, I’m trying for my son,” he said, still not looking at Jason. “I can tell she’s trying to be the mom Johnny needs.”

  Jason cleared his throat. “Do you still love her?”

  John gave him his attention now, and stopped typing. “I will always love Amy, but I think you were right. I think I have feelings for Sophia.”

  Jason arched his brow. “So you’re in love with two women.”

  “No. I love Amy because she is the mother of my son, but with Sophia it’s different.”

  “What?”

  “You don’t have to worry…I won’t let my feelings for Sophia interfere with my marriage. It’s not like she feels the same way about me.” He stood up and faced the window. “As long as Amy’s giving us her all, I will try.”

  Jason stood, walked over to him, and watched out the window, too. “Sophia left yesterday.”

  John turned. “She left?”

  “Yes, but she left this for you.” He gave him a pink envelope. “She told Kay to give it to you after she left.”

  “She didn’t even say goodbye.” He placed the letter in his suit pocket.

  “Maybe it’s for the best,” Jason said, patting his back. “See you in court.” Jason walked out of his office.

  John stood there. What was up with the women in his life leaving him letters? He pulled out the letter, opened the envelope, and read the first line.

  Dear John (lol),

  He got why she’d written lol, and smiled, but before he could continue reading, his assistant knocked on the door.

  “John, you’re needed in court.”

  “I thought it was at two?”

  “It was, but they pushed it up and failed to inform us. You have half an hour to get there.”

  He folded the letter, put it back in the envelope, and placed it in his suit pocket. He grabbed his briefcase and raced out of his office.

  ***

  As soon as he exited the courthouse, he looked for the letter but couldn’t find it. He went back to his office and turned it upside-down, searching. Frustrated beyond belief, he called for his secretary. “Helen!”

  “Yes, John.” She came into his office.

  “Did you see an pink envelope with my name on it?”

  “No, I haven’t. Are you sure you didn’t take it with you?” she asked, helping him look.

  “I thought I put it in my pocket, but it must have fallen out.” He searched his desk one more time, but didn’t find it. “It’s okay, Helen. It’s gone.”

  “I’ll ask the janitor if he’s seen it. Oh, by the way, Amy came by looking for you.”

  “Did she come in the office?”

  “No, I stopped her before she entered.” Helen stepped out.

  He couldn’t believe he’d lost Sophia’s letter. What could she possibly have said?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  John moved back in with Amy, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, trying to give Johnny a stable home. He didn’t tell her they were still legally separated. He still loved her, but his feelings had changed. There was something wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

  He sat on the bed listening to her in the bathroom, singing. Two months had passed and they hadn’t yet had sex. Overall, sex or no, she was just too happy, but a happy Amy meant a happy Johnny, and that was all that counted for now.

  He looked up as she opened the bathroom door and came out naked.

  She strolled over to the bed. “I miss you.”

  He stared at her body. She was a beautiful woman. Her breasts were small and perky, she had a perfect waist, and her legs—damn. He’d missed looking at her naked. “Amy…”

  At that moment, memories from his night with Sophia came back in full effect. His mind was filled with memories of the way her beautiful chocolate body reacted to his touch, of her strawberry scent and taste. After all this time, he still couldn’t shake the way his body felt. His cock responded to his memories.

  “Did you miss me?” She leaned into him and kissed his lips.

  Damn, he missed his Sophia, but that didn’t keep him from touching the woman in front of him. The woman he used to love with all his heart. He cupped her face, kissing her in return. Helping her get on the bed, he settled her on his lap.

  She started rubbing his covered cock. “Mmm, Big Daddy, did you miss me?”

  He didn’t answer, just groaned against her lips and squeezed her thighs.

  “I love you…”

  Those three words had meant so much a year ago, but not anymore. He rolled them over so he was on top of her and settled between her legs. With two fingers he parted her lips and played with her clit.

  “Yes, Daddy…” She moaned as his fingers went in and out of her.

  He saw desire in her eyes as he gazed at her. He leaned over to the dresser with his other hand, and pulled out a condom.

  She arched a brow, but didn’t say anything.

  He teased her clit with his thumb as his other two fingers kept pumping into her. He could feel her pussy closing around his fingers. She was about to come.

  She closed her eyes, and moaned louder. “Yes…yes… Oh…yes…Cha—”

  She couldn’t take it back, he’d heard what she almost said, making his dick instantly soft. He could feel the vein in his neck throbbing as he pulled his fingers out of her. He glared at her. “Who the fuck is Cha?”

  “What are you talking about?” She sat up.

  “You called me another man’s name, that’s the fucking problem.”

  She grabbed his hand, and he forcefully pulled away. “Don’t touch me.” He got off the bed, picked up his boxers, and tossed the condom into the trash can on the way to the bathroom.

  “It’s not what you think!”

  After taking a shower, he stepped out of the bathroom and began getting dressed. “Amy, I tried. I’m done.”

  “I said your name,” she said in tears. “Please don’t leave me. I need you.”

  “You don’t need me, you need whoever’s name you were calling.” He glared at her as he pulled up his jeans.

  He could see the guilt in her eyes. “I’m sorry…”

  “Amy, I have to leave, because if I don’t I might hurt you.”

  “John let’s talk about this. It’s someone from my past.”

  He laughed while he put on his shirt. “So you were going to fuck me, thinking of one of your ex-lovers? Fuck you, Amy.” He’d been thinking of someone else too, but he had more sense than to call out her name. He knew their marriage was over long time ago; this just sealed it.

  She placed her hands over her face, and cried. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m taking Johnny.” He picked up his wallet. “You’ll be receiving the divorce papers in the mail.” He walked out.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  John met Jerome for lunch at a little deli shop near the law firm. Though Jerome had called earlier that day and told him he had news, John couldn’t take any more surprises, and he didn’t want to talk about Amy.

  He entered the deli and saw Jerome in the back corner. He walked up to him and patted him on the back, then sat in front of him. “What’s up?” he asked.

  “Damn, man, it’s like that now?” Jerome arched a brow.

  “Sorry, man. It’s been a long morning.” He flagged down the waiter and ordered.

  Jerome took a sip of his water. “John, I have some information.”

  “About?”

  The waiter brought back his drink.

  “I never stopped the investigation on Ashley Delgado.”

  He stared at his friend. “You’re the one that told me to leave it alone, for her own good.”

  “I know, but there was something about this case that bothered me. I just couldn’t leave it, but now I wish I had.”

  John observed his friend as he opened an envelope.

  “After you told me the birth date of Ashley’s daughter, I searched several hospitals in the area where Terrell Williams l
ived before he got sent to jail.”

  “Why?”

  “With the birth certificate, I could find out more about her. Those records aren’t sealed.”

  The waiter came over with their sandwiches and excused himself.

  “I obtained a copy of the birth certificate.” He passed him a stiff sheet of embossed paper. “And as you can tell on there, a Delgado had a baby, but it wasn’t Ashley.”

  John read the certificate over and over.

  “Sarah Delgado gave birth to a baby girl named Carolyn Delgado, and the father is listed as unknown.”

  “Ashley isn’t her mother.” He just stared at the paper. “According to this, the baby’s mother was only sixteen. Is she still looking for her daughter?”

  “No, I did some more digging, and found out Sarah died in a house fire. The same fire Terrell was accused of setting. All charges were dropped on that case.”

  John remembered that when they’d been stranded in the cabin, she’d mentioned Terrell had tried to kill her by setting the house on fire. She’d said she could still smell the smoke, see the flames, and hear the screams.

  “Sarah was Ashley’s baby sister,” Jerome said.

  Losing his appetite, he pushed his plate away. “She was there when her sister died.”

  “According to my sources, after her sister died, Ashley disappeared with Sarah’s daughter.” He took a bite from his sandwich. “No one has seen or heard from her since.”

  “What else did you find out?”

  “I’m sorry, man, but her file is sealed.”

  “So how did you find out all of this?”

  “I went to her old neighborhood and spoke to some neighbors that still lived there. One more thing, John. She was a cop before she got suspended from the force.”

  John arched a brow. He hadn’t been expecting that. “A cop.” He remembered the scar on her pelvis, her moves when she’d punched Charles, and at the gun range, she’d been the one to teach him how to shoot. How had he missed all of that?