California Wishes

by Casey Dawes

  She turned back to her mother. “I like doing what I’m doing. It’s my life, not yours.”

  Lola stood and faced her. “You’re just like Dana. Too bullheaded for your own good.” She wagged her finger. “You’ll see. You’ll wind up in the same place I did—alone while your man chases after younger tail.”

  “Don’t be crass, Lola. I’m not you, and I’m not Dana. I’m me.” The tension rose in her body, like it always did when her mother tried to control her life. “Why are you here?”

  “You never come home anymore. I’m lonely. You’re my only child. You should come visit me, not make me chase you to some God-forsaken place where they have bears.”

  If her mother hadn’t looked so pitiful, Mandy would have laughed. “I don’t like New Jersey,” she said. “And I can’t afford to visit.”

  Lola gave her simpering smile, the one she always used when she was about to cast her line into Mandy’s emotions and snag her hook in guilt.

  Mandy held up her hand. “Don’t. I’m too old for your games.” She waved at the pile of cosmetics on Lola’s bed. “Why don’t you finish your nightly routine and go to bed? I have an early call.” She pushed aside the tent flap.

  “Where are you going?” Fear simmered around the edges of Lola’s voice.

  “For a walk.”

  “You’re leaving me alone?”

  Mandy shook her head. “Nothing’s going to bother you, Lola. I’ll be back in a little while.” She sighed. “Just go to bed.”

  “But—”

  “Goodnight.”

  Mandy grabbed a flashlight and walked toward the lodge, away from James’s tent and Lola’s insanity.

  She tried to love Lola, and at some level she did. Since her first talk with the therapist, though, Mandy had begun to have hope she didn’t have to be her mother. She could forge her own life with her own dreams and actions. Even if she was bipolar, there were treatments to follow that would help her stabilize.

  Maybe she should see Dana. James and Sally said he was a good guy. While her mother said Dana Russell had never bothered to find out what was up with his little girl, Mandy was no longer sure that was true. Over the years she’d seen her mother twist the truth more than once to get her way.

  Why should the truth about Dana be any different?

  Her therapist might have some ideas on how to approach her father.

  A figure came around the corner.

  Her heart upped its pace.

  “Hello!” the man called out.

  She recognized James’s voice.

  Her heart didn’t slow.

  “Hi,” she called back, but stopped walking. Which James was this? The one with the plan? Or the one who wanted to kiss her?

  He came toward her. “Did you leave Lola alone?”

  “Yes. I needed a little time for myself. How about you?”

  “Thinking.” He looked down at her, his face shadowy in the dark. “I’m sure Sally told you about the set change.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m trying to figure out when this stuff happens. It has to be at night or we’d see someone.”

  “Do you have any idea who’s responsible? Or why?”

  James shook his head. “It’s making me look bad, though. Maybe that’s the point.”

  “Why would someone want that?”

  James shrugged. “The business is very competitive.”

  “Really? Competitive enough to sabotage an entire movie? You’re not the only one who gets hurt.”

  “True. Whatever the reason, it’s still my responsibility to find out who’s doing it and stop it. Mind if I walk with you?”

  She hesitated. “No kissing.”

  He paused. “Okay. No kissing.”

  She frowned at his answer. Drat. She was becoming as contrary as he was. Maybe she should tell him to go in a different direction, but if there was someone lurking in the dark, she’d be better off having James with her.

  She started across the parking lot. He walked by her side.

  Too damn close by her side.

  The moonlight was strong enough they didn’t need a flashlight. Without the hubbub of the traffic, the river’s rushing dominated the night sounds. They walked down the path into the meadows, near the spot where the Tuolumne River cut across the grass.

  She knew he wanted to kiss her. The tension radiated from his body.

  The trouble was she wanted him to kiss her, too. Had he meant what he’d said about the potential to change his life plan?

  “What are you going to do about Lola?” he asked.

  “Wait it out. She’ll get bored and leave in a few days.”

  “If she doesn’t?”

  “She will. Everyone here has too much to do to pay much attention to her. Not having adoration is a near-death-experience for Lola.”

  He chuckled. “Sounds like you’ve got her figured out.”

  “I should.”

  It’s you I’m having problems with.

  A breeze with a nip of winter crossed the meadow. She shivered.

  “Cold?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  “We should go back.”

  “Probably. It’s so beautiful out here, though, I hate to go back to the tent.”

  “And Lola,” he added.

  “Yeah.” She turned toward him.

  He put his arms around her and pulled her close. “I can’t help it, Mandy. You get to me. But if you don’t want me to kiss you, say the word.”

  She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t.

  His lips were tentative at first, giving her a chance to object.

  She should, but the touch of his lips flamed the ember that had been burning since the hike to the lake. She leaned into his warmth, her mouth accepting his. More than accepting—wanting. Needing.

  When had she desired a man like this? She wasn’t a virgin, but she’d never wanted a man with this much fervor. Kissing her former lovers had been like scratching an itch—relief when the moment was over and the discomfort gone.

  Kissing James would never be like that.

  He flicked his tongue on her lips. She yielded her mouth to his pressure, and his tongue swept inside her, stroking her passion. She hungered for him. But thin tent walls wouldn’t provide them the privacy they needed.

  Tents. What was she doing? This was Lola’s behavior, not hers.

  Mandy forced herself to cool. She stepped back.

  James looked at her, confusion written on his face.

  “I like you, James. I obviously like—” She gestured between them. “This. But our lives are totally different. You have your plan. I have Costanoa. There’s no future for us.”

  He stepped toward her and put his hands on her arms. “My plan went to hell when you walked into my life. Give us more time. Come to Hollywood.”

  Could she? The idea scared her, but when was she going to stop living her life from fear? “I don’t know. What do we have beyond attraction?”

  Even in the moonlight, she sensed his intensity.

  “I trust you, and I haven’t trusted a woman in a long, long time. You’re vulnerable enough that I want to protect you, but you have far more strength than I think you know. Your moods are pretty changeable, but I think I can live with that.”

  Mandy chuckled. “You mean like the first night we met?”

  “Yeah.” He feathered a kiss on her lips. “Think about it, Mandy. Please think about it.” He held out his hand. “Let me walk you back to your tent.”

  She took his hand, and they walked back to the lodge together.

  Laughter oozed from her tent as they approached. Mandy pushed open the tent flap and stopped.

  George Stubbins sat on her bed, looking like he was ready to make her lodgings his new home.

  “What are you doing here?” James’s voice was harsh in her ear.

  “Just visiting my old friend, Lola.” George stood. “I guess I better be going so you ladies can get your beauty sleep.”

 
His lascivious laugh nauseated her.

  “It was so good to see you again, George.” Lola stood and gave him a brief kiss on his lips.

  Mandy’s stomach churned. She’d always hated Lola sleeping around, a symptom of her undiagnosed bipolar disease. The right medication had tamed the habit, but never fully eliminated her flirty behavior.

  Mandy stepped out of the tent so George could leave without brushing against her.

  “Say, George,” James said. “I need to talk with you about a few things before we start shooting tomorrow. I’ll walk you back to your tent.”

  Mandy listened as the low rumble of male voices drifted away, but she couldn’t make out any of the words. She gave up eavesdropping and turned to face her mother.

  “I don’t want that man in my tent.”

  “Who? George?” Lola pulled the thick gold hoops from her ears, and the bangles from her wrists.

  “He’s a creep. He tried to attack me.”

  Lola put the jewelry in a cloth bag and dropped it in her suitcase. “He told me about that. He was just being friendly.”

  Mandy’s temper rose. “Friendly, my ass. This is my tent, my gig, and my life. I don’t want George Stubbins anywhere near it. Got it? What is with you two anyway? First, you tell me you don’t know him, and now he’s your long lost lover.”

  Lola stood and stared at her.

  For a moment Mandy wasn’t sure whether her actress mother was going to play the weepy card or the bitch card.

  Weepy won out.

  “I can’t believe you’re treating me like this. I came thousands of miles to support you and you’re being an ungrateful daughter.” A single tear trailed down her right cheek. “I suppose you want me to go away, too.”

  Mandy sighed and sat on the bed. “I have to hand it to you. You are a great actress.” She looked at Lola. “You came out here because you saw an opportunity to feel like you were part of Hollywood again.”

  “I’m only trying to protect you. Don’t you see that, darling?” Lola sat next to her and patted her hand.

  Mandy refrained from rolling her eyes. “I’m twenty-five years old. I can handle myself. Besides, if I get into trouble I have friends.” A warm strength rose in Mandy. She did have friends, good friends who would get her back.

  “You mean like James?” Her mother’s sarcasm didn’t hold the threat it once had. “He only wants one thing. You complain about George, but James is the same. All men are.”

  “Lola, men are the same to you because you look at them as if they’re all alike. You use them to feel better, and then you’re surprised to find they’ve used you as well.” She shook her head. “James is my boss. Maybe he’ll be more than that, but I don’t know. He’s got his own plans.” She drew herself up straighter. “I’ve got good friends in Costanoa, too. Not only do they support me and my dreams, but they’ve shown me how men and women can treat each other.”

  Lola’s face paled in a way that no longer looked like an act.

  Mandy took her mother’s hands. “It doesn’t have to be the way you and Dana did it. Couples can have strong relationships. I can have a good marriage someday.”

  “What about me?” Lola asked.

  No matter what was going on, it was always going to be about Lola. Mandy took in a deep breath. “Your life is in New Jersey. What about your new friend, the car salesman?”

  Her mother’s lower lip trembled. The actress was back. “We broke up.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. How come?”

  “We argued. He didn’t think I should come out here. He said he’d pay for a ticket for you to come out at Christmastime. He said you had your own life to live.”

  Smart man.

  “Seems like a little thing to break up about.” Maybe the salesman had seen Lola’s true colors and decided to leave while he still could.

  “No man’s going to tell me what to do.” Lola’s spine straightened.

  “He wasn’t telling you what to do, Lola. He was telling you what he thought—there’s a difference.”

  “Not for me, there isn’t.”

  Mandy sighed. They’d been over this ground before.

  “Okay. Whatever you say. I’m going to bed.”

  When she was finally able to lay her head down, Mandy said a silent prayer that nothing would prevent her mother from going home the next day. As she fell asleep, she wondered again what the story between her mother and George Stubbins had been.

  • • •

  “How long is your mother staying?” Sally asked when Mandy ran into her at the showers the next morning.

  “She’s leaving later today, driving to Oakhurst, staying overnight, and flying out of Fresno the day after.”

  “Short visit.”

  “Unnecessary visit.” Mandy rubbed her face with the towel. She was ready to get back to Costanoa, her own room, and her mostly unshared bathroom. She only had to accommodate someone else when the inn was totally booked.

  “You need to stop being so hard on your parents.”

  “You didn’t live with them.” Mandy threw her toiletries in her bag.

  “Resentment only hurts the person who’s angry.” Sally touched Mandy’s arm. “Look, I know it had to have been tough, but it was tough on them, too. Twenty or thirty years ago, people were only beginning to understand bipolar problems. We’ve come a long way in treatment. Things are possible today that weren’t then.” Sally ran a brush through her hair. “They did the best they could for who they were at the time.” She put the brush down on the sink and faced Mandy. “Are you?”

  Was she?

  Mandy zipped up her toiletry bag. “I’ll have to get back to you on that.” She opened the heavy steel door. “I’ll see you after I get Lola on her way.”

  Sally hesitated as if considering her next words. Then she shrugged. “I’ll get the list for Costanoa ready for you. You’re going down this afternoon, right?”

  “Yes. Sarah’s in Napa with her mom and the baby, so I’ll have the place to myself for the night. My appointment’s early in the morning. I should be back here mid-afternoon.”

  “Okay.” Sally picked up her hairbrush again.

  Mandy headed down the path toward the tent, thoughts whirling through her mind. She thought she’d left her problems with Lola on the East Coast when she’d moved across the country several years ago. She’d been wrong.

  She’d have a lot to discuss with Dr. Graham. Why did therapy always come down to parents?

  “Hi there.”

  The sound of James’s voice made her turn. “Hi yourself.”

  “You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders,” he said.

  “Just thinking.”

  “Everything okay? I mean, George didn’t cause any problems for your mother, did he?”

  The mention of Stubbins shook Mandy’s thoughts from her debate. “What did you say to him last night?”

  James grinned. “I reminded him to keep his hands—and other body parts—to himself. I also explained you were under my special protection.”

  She allowed a grin to turn up her lips. “Special protection, huh? Don’t suppose you could extend that protection to Lola, could you?”

  He laughed. “I’m afraid that one’s on you.”

  “Drat.”

  “I’d like to see you again before we wrap up—go for another hike or down to the village. How about tonight?”

  She shook her head. “I have to go to Costanoa.”

  He frowned. “To see someone. I thought I convinced you otherwise.”

  She took pity on him. “A therapist, James. I’m seeing a therapist.”

  “A therapist? You little devil. You were trying to make me jealous!”

  She laughed. “You should have seen your face. Sorry, but it was too good to resist.”

  “A therapist. That’s good, right?”

  “I’m hoping it will be good.” If she had her chart, she’d definitely mark this mood happy. Actually, she hadn’t marked her chart
since Lola arrived. She’d have to fix that before she saw the therapist. “How is the schedule going?”

  He smiled. “Good! We’ve managed to get back on track and the saboteur’s been lying low. Maybe our moonlit walk served more than one purpose. I’m hopeful we can wrap up when we intended. So, if you aren’t available tonight, when could I see you?”

  “Is this a real date or are we still ‘just friends’?”

  “Oh, no. Real date … I may find something special to do.”

  Her heart warmed. “Wednesday night after we finish with dinner?”

  “Wednesday night it is.”

  “See you later.” She kissed his cheek, turned, and walked back to her tent cabin and Lola.

  Mandy no longer wanted the shoot to end as quickly as possible, but she hoped everything would keep on track so James could reach his goal.

  Chapter 16

  Sally was standing in the set parking lot when James pulled in Monday morning, her normally calm face marred by anguish.

  She pointed a trembling finger to the canteen tent. “Over there. It’s disgusting. Thank goodness I don’t have to serve food today. The lodge sent sandwiches. Beth Ann’s only going over some close-ups with the leads. Small group. Thank God.” She sank down on the trailer steps.

  Her disjointed speech worried him. What was in the canteen tent?

  There was only one way to find out.

  Blood stench hit his senses when he walked through the flaps. A lump on the serving table caught his eyes. As he walked toward it, his stomach roiled in disgust, horror, and disbelief.

  A large raccoon was arranged on a serving tray like a stuffed pig, its head a pulpy mass.

  Who would do such a thing? And why?

  He left the tent, the bile rumbling in his stomach.

  “That’s pretty ugly,” he said.

  Sally nodded.

  “I’m going to check in with the ranger station. Don’t do anything until I get back, okay?”

  “No problem there.” Sally stood. “Ask them how we clean it up. I don’t think I can serve food in there. Between the idea and potential germs the crew and actors will riot. The tent needs to be fumigated. Maybe the lodge will let me use the one they have for the dining room for the week. There aren’t any other guests but us.”