Cruel

by Raven Kennedy

  I checked the locker room for prying eyes as I made my way through. One time when I showered after gym, someone took a picture of me and leaked it all over the school. Luckily, I wasn’t ashamed of my body, but it didn’t stop the entire student body of Smith Academy from tormenting me for it. They treated me like I asked to have my naked self plastered all over everyone’s cell phones. After making sure the room was clear, I made my way to the showers, stripped, and let the warm water trail down my back.

  I was just washing soap out of my hair when I heard, “There you are.”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin as I whirled around and saw Godfrey leaning against the wall of the shower stall. With a hand over my heart, I glowered at the asshole that ruined my relaxing shower.

  “Back in the gym huh? I always did like watching you show off how...flexible you are,” he said with a wicked grin.

  He looked like the devil dressed in his pressed school uniform. His eyes were bloodshot, but his golden hair was neatly styled. I ran my eyes over the throbbing veins in his neck. I bet he expected me to get out of the shower and get dressed, cover myself up out of shame. But I wasn’t the girl that went the predictable route any more. I wasn’t the girl that ran away from a challenge, either. So instead, I dropped my hands and went right back under the stream of water to rinse the rest of the soap out of my hair. I kept my back to him, but made sure to slide my hands over my skin slowly, just to prove how unaffected by him I was.

  “You really are a little Heir Chaser now. Showing off for me, Scar?” The nickname burned through my eyelids, but I didn’t let a single tear fall.

  “You and Rogue keep interrupting my showers. It’s getting predictable,” I said dryly before turning around to wash my breasts and between my legs. Calling Godfrey predictable was the equivalent of slapping him in the face. When did I become so brazen? Based on the look on his face, he was asking himself the very same question. Godfrey’s gaze didn’t once slip from mine. He didn’t roam my body with his eyes or dip for even the slightest peek. He was the perfect gentleman, surprising me. Dammit. Without a word, he’d gotten the upper hand, meeting my play with a move of his own.

  I turned off the water and got out of the shower stall before walking towards him. He grabbed a towel from the pile of clean ones near the counter and tossed it to me.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, before using the towel to wrap up my hair, leaving my naked body dripping and exposed. His eyes sunk lower for a fraction of a second before he narrowed his eyes and then grabbed another towel, once again tossing it over. Huh. He was stronger than I thought. Okay, Godfrey. You win this round. I bet he was proud of himself for not looking, for keeping me guessing. I bet he would later brag to the others, lying about me having a disappointed look on my face.

  “Rogue wants eyes on you at all times.”

  “I bet he does,” I replied bitterly. Rogue wanted a lot of things. Didn’t mean I was going to give it to him.

  “You got to school early. What were you up to?”

  “I went to the gym. Needed to clear my head,” I said, and Godfrey’s eyes brightened. “And no, I’m not supposed to be here. I can already see you pocketing this information to use against me later, but if you could just not, that would be great.”

  Godfrey collected secrets like some people collected coins. I sometimes wondered where he stashed them all.

  “Your mama made you quit, yeah? Such a shame. Those tiny leotards you wore were my favorite,” he replied with a smirk.

  God, I missed wearing them. I missed everything about gymnastics.

  I let out an exhale before heading to the mirror. I pulled out my bag of makeup and slowly began applying my war paint. Godfrey grabbed a brush from my bag and started running it through my hair, making sure to scrape the bristles of the brush along my scalp in an almost painful way.

  “You’re going to look good at the Junior Debutante dance,” he said, changing the conversation.

  Surprised, I looked at him in the reflection. So that was it? No threats about how he was going to tell my mama? No blackmail bargains? I didn’t trust him for a single second.

  “I guess.”

  “You know, I’m surprised you gave in so easily. Frilly dresses and socialite bullshit was never really your thing. I expected you to put up more of a fight...maybe bargain a bit.”

  I traced my eyes with charcoal liner and bit my lip as I mulled over his words. He was right. I usually wouldn’t have given in so easily. But I’d been too shocked by the murder that I’d witnessed and too addicted to the possibility of being friends with them again to really consider it.

  “Yeah, I guess I dropped the ball on the manipulation tactics,” I said dryly. “You would know, since those are your speciality.”

  I started sifting through my various glosses until I found a pink tinted one, then slowly began applying it, puckering my lips once I was done to appreciate the color.

  Godfrey looked contemplative. “Your mama must be ecstatic. She’s always wanted you to be a Savannah debutante. Hell, she would probably give anything to have you up on that stage next year,” he said, looking at me pointedly.

  Our eyes met in the mirror again, and I suddenly realized what Godfrey was suggesting. And he was right.

  A smile bloomed over my face. I could bargain with my mama to do this. Feeling suddenly ecstatic, I spun around and wrapped my arms around his neck before kissing his jawline. I smiled when I saw the pink of my lipstick there. “Your evil genius never ceases to amaze me, Godfrey Taylor.”

  He reached up behind him and yanked my hands from his grip before pinching my cheeks together with his fingers. He stared at me, and there was a confusing mix of irritation and arousal in his eyes.

  “I learned from the best,” he said before looking once more at my lips. “But I need something from you, too.”

  Without warning, Godfrey leaned forward and placed his lips against mine. My first reaction was to compare his firm touch to Rogue’s devouring pout. He was clinical, moving in practiced swoops of his tongue and holding my neck in place as he did so. It was a nice kiss. And maybe if I wasn’t still on the high that was Rogue Kelly, I would have been able to feel more invested when he bit my bottom lip, or maybe I could have pressed my towel-clad body to his as he groaned against me. Maybe I would have shivered when he whispered that I tasted good.

  But it just wasn’t there. When he pulled away, his lips were covered with pink and I had to smile at that, because it felt a bit empowering. He looked feral, chest heaving as he trailed a finger along the veins in my neck. And even though I tried to hide it, Godfrey could always see through me.

  He dropped his hands, and a small sigh escaped him as he stuffed his fingers into his pockets. “It was always him, huh?” Godfrey asked.

  Of course he would know who I really wanted to be kissing. The Heirs had always been my friends. They were handsome and captivating. There was a time that I couldn’t decide between them. I liked flirting with them all, teasing them, playing with them.

  But when Rogue and I had come together on the stairs, everything changed. Our souls, our anger, and our desire imprinted on each other. We clung to each other like shadows. Rogue Kelly was my Achilles heel, and I’d never take another step without feeling the aching pain of his rejection.

  I was surprised when Godfrey decided to walk me to class after I’d gotten dressed. My pink lipstick was still smeared across his chin and I told him to wipe it off, but he was determined to let the world see, like I was some sort of trophy to brag about. It was when he brought me to the others that I realized what he was doing, but by then, it was too late.

  Luis saw us first and threw his head back and laughed. Bonham just grabbed Rogue’s arm, like he already knew where this was going, just as Godfrey yanked on my arm, turning me to face him as he swept my hair behind my ear in a sweet gesture that didn’t quite match the mischievous look in his eyes. I could have sworn he gave me a hint of an apologetic smile, but it was g
one before I could be sure.

  “You knew the drill, Scarlett,” Godfrey said in a loud voice, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Rogue spin around to stare at us. “You were fun, but I don’t take trash to class.”

  I stared at him in confusion. What the fuck was happening? A few snickers from behind me made me nauseous with unease, but I tried to cling to what Rogue had said the night before. I need to hate you for a little while longer.

  “It was fun, okay? But you need to back off now,” Godfrey said, his eyes locked on my face with challenge.

  A girl shouted, “Clinger alert!” and the crowd gathering behind me started growing louder. This was the bargain, right?

  This was what Godfrey needed from me.

  I wasn’t even sure when I wound my hand back and connected it with his cheek. The sound of my slap echoed across the hall, and for a split second, the crowd went deathly silent, like they couldn’t believe someone had the audacity to actually hit an Heir. I frowned when I saw a flash of satisfaction in Godfrey’s stare. For some reason, I’d done exactly what he wanted me to do, and that didn’t sit well with me. So I did the first thing I could think of. I one-upped him on his game and called him on his bet.

  “Screw you, Godfrey, you kinky bastard. Next time I ride your face, don’t call me Mommy. It’s fucked up.”

  The students around us Lost. Their. Shit.

  All of a sudden, the laughter wasn’t directed at me, it was at Godfrey, which I was pretty sure had never happened to him before. I might have fallen into the little trap he had set for me, but I was going to distance myself from them on my terms. It wasn’t just them anymore. I was going to have a say in this, too.

  I strolled up closer towards the rest of the guys, where Luis was hunched over in amusement, laughter bouncing in his chest. I felt Godfrey hot on my back, anger rolling off of him in waves as he stalked after me. “Look who's following who now,” I smirked, before chancing a look at Rogue. His fists were clenched as he stared at my pink lips and then at the lipstick covering Godfrey’s face.

  “Don’t make a scene,” Bonham whispered to him while eyeing the crowd.

  “It’s a little fucking late for that,” Rogue seethed, as the crowd started yelling “Mommy” to Godfrey. I watched him process everything while trying to calm himself.

  “What were you thinking?” he asked, but Godfrey was too busy being pissed at me to answer right away. He sent glares across the hall until the laughter cut off.

  After the bell rang and the students of Smith Academy started disappearing into their respective classrooms, Godfrey finally answered. “I was thinking you needed to be reminded of what we’re supposed to be doing,” he said, giving Rogue a pointed look.

  “And what are you guys supposed to be doing?” I asked in a harsh whisper, careful not to let any of the other students hear. “It would be nice if someone would explain it to me. I know there’s more going on than what you guys are telling me, and I’m sick of being forced to play the game without knowing the rules.”

  Rogue’s lips were pursed into a fine line, and once the hallways was completely empty, he grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall towards a vacant classroom. He closed the door behind us and flipped the lock, but kept the lights off.

  “What are you doing?” I asked warily, wondering if I should scream. Would anyone come to my rescue? Probably not. Hell, my own mama was wrapped around their fingers.

  He pulled the blinds down on the door, blocking us from view from anyone else that might walk by. I expected Rogue to go off about how I slapped Godfrey, or how I embarrassed an Heir, but instead, he surprised me. “Did you kiss him?”

  I blinked at his seething expression. “Yeah?”

  His jaw ticked. “Why?”

  I tried to think of why. I guess I could have pushed Godfrey away. I didn’t really owe him much of anything. “I...don’t know.” My answer sounded lame even to my own ears.

  “Not good enough, Scar,” Rogue replied before picking me up and placing me on one of the vacant lab tables. “Give me a reason.” He was gripping my hips so hard that it hurt, but it just turned me on. Was there anything Rogue did that didn’t turn me on? I was mad at myself for being in this situation again, but his touch on my skin called to the wildness that relentlessly paced inside of me.

  “I was curious?” My answer sounded more like a question than an answer.

  “About what?”

  “I was curious if I would like it.”

  That must not have been what Rogue wanted to hear, because he practically growled before slamming his lips to mine. I was so surprised for a moment that I didn’t move, until his mouth demanded it. With teeth biting my lip and tongue, I gave in, moaning into his panting mouth as he kissed the me like he was trying to drink my soul.

  He fisted his hand in my hair and pulled my head back with a painful tug before hovering his lips above my neck. “And did you?” he asked, his voice low and gruff.

  I grabbed the waistband of his pants and yanked him closer, while opening my legs wider for him so he could step between them. My thin underwear was soaked. He ground against me, letting me feel his hardness, and I arched my back as I sat on the table, trembling under his touch. Why did this feel so fucking good? Why did I want this so bad? I let go of his pants to pull at his tie. I wanted him closer.

  “No,” I finally answered. “I kept thinking of your hands on my body, Rogue. I kept thinking of your mouth. Is that what you want to hear? You want to know that I only get wet for you?”

  He groaned and palmed my breast through my buttoned up shirt. His brown eyes trailed over my face “Why do I want you so bad when I try so hard not to? Why can’t I let you go?” he whispered, as if he were asking himself.

  “Why do you want to?” I was desperate to understand. I didn’t want to stay in the dark anymore. I wanted to know what was keeping them from me.

  A sudden knock on the door made him wrench his body from mine, and he ran a hand through his hair before moving away from me to check who was on the other side.

  He opened the door slightly and Luis slipped inside. “You know, I’m all for a quick classroom fuck, but y’all need to get to class. Don’t want anyone wondering where we are, hmm?”

  Rogue looked like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to thank him, or strangle him for interrupting us, but he sighed and said, “Yeah, okay.” He pushed Luis out of the door before spinning around to speak to me one last time. He raised a finger to point at my face. “Don’t kiss Godfrey anymore.”

  I closed my legs and crossed my arms. “Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my boyfriend or my daddy. You don’t have the right.”

  We both glared at each other, neither of us willing to give in, but both of us wanting to. What we had together shouldn’t have been so goddamn hard. All of this intensity—this burning desire—it should have helped us come together. Instead, it was just making everything so much more complicated.

  “Go to class, Scar,” Rogue finally said, before opening the door and walking out, leaving me behind.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I wish I could say that my only reason for skipping last period and walking home was because I wanted to start operation “bargain with Mama” to start gymnastics again, but it was much deeper than that. I couldn’t focus. I needed time to decompress. Rogue Kelly was a mind fuck of massive proportions, and every time he pulled me into his orbit, I got lost in his gravity. I wanted him, but I didn’t. I missed him, but I missed feeling happy, too. After spending most of my morning rolling around in my dark thoughts, I cut class and let all of the fucked up desires in my brain carry my feet towards the train tracks.

  Godfrey said Rogue wanted eyes on me at all time, well good luck finding me now, assholes. I wished that I had started going against them a while ago. Every time I pushed back, I learned something new with them. Maybe they'd finally tell me why they started hating me all those months ago. Maybe they’d actually tell me who the man that they killed wa
s.

  I was too scared to ask. What if he had a family? What if he was just a man in the wrong place at the wrong time. My gut was telling me that the guys wouldn’t just kill for sport, but learning the truth might make it more difficult for me to compartmentalize. It was easier to overlook when their victim didn’t have a name.

  My mind wandered back to the hallway with Godfrey. Such a sneaky prick. I didn’t regret kissing him. In fact, I had half a mind to do it again just to see Rogue worked up. Rogue liked the fight in me. I could feel it every time I challenged him. It was like there was this electric charge zipping between us. Before, he’d always handled me like I was this porcelain doll. Something to protect and put on a shelf. But now, he relished it when I faced him with every chip and crack. He liked it when I showed him that I wasn’t afraid of him, even after I’d seen him slit a man’s throat.

  l checked my phone as I walked, knowing that the guys would’ve gotten out of class by now. A text popped up on my screen.

  Rogue: Where are you?

  I laughed. I could almost picture him, stalking around school and punching lockers like the caveman he was. A thrill shot down my spine at the idea of getting him all riled up. I loved it when he lost control with me. It was exciting and unnerving, and I craved it. I should probably book an appointment with a therapist.

  I clutched my jacket tighter against my body as I walked. The road leading towards the tracks was covered in drooping Spanish moss, creating an alley of dying plants and fall foliage. My boots kicked up fallen leaves as I walked, and I breathed in the smell of fall. I was sore, tired, and just plain confused. I looked down at my phone and frowned at the next message that came in from Bonham.

  Bonham: Call us now.

  Then another text notification popped up.

  Mama: Bought you a dress. Your fitting is in a week. Don’t forget the diet pills I left.

  I sighed and switched my phone off. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone or think about anything. Once the guys realized I wasn’t at school or at my dance class, they’d probably go searching for me.