Hard Choices

by Ellson, Theresa

  Wow. That put Scott in a whole new light. He was a knight in shining armor! He’d saved that whole family – and then it hit me. Scott always needed to be the savior. He’d saved me from taking care of my entire family; when I’d gotten pregnant, there’d been no discussion. Of course we’d get married. Of course we’d raise a family together. As long as I’d been the stay-at-home mom, raising his young kids, he’d been in his element. But then I went to school. I started a career. And I didn’t need him anymore. Poor Scott. I’d taken his life’s purpose away from him, and I hadn’t even realized it.

  Kyle and I finished cooking, eating and cleaning up, then he took off. After our talk, I was glad to have the day to myself to ruminate on my new-found understanding of my ex-husband. It didn’t change things, of course. I was still glad to be divorced from Scott. But I realized that, since he’d left, I had mentally chipped away at all his contributions to our home, our family and our life together. I really hadn’t been fair to him. I hadn’t solely blamed him for our marriage’s slow death, but I had blamed it on his personal limitations. Now I realized, if I’d been paying a little more attention to him, and what he needed, we could have taken a whole different path.

  Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk. It’s entirely possible I could have done everything “right” and we still would have ended up divorced. We were so young when we married. I was not the same person I was at nineteen, but Scott was the same person he was at twenty. C’est la vie.

  ***

  By Sunday morning, I was ready for a respite from the soup that was my brain. I’d scrubbed the house the day before, thinking about what Kyle and I had talked about, and about what my marriage had really been, rather than just what I thought it had been. By six o’clock, I’d plopped down in front of the TV, happy to veg out and think about absolutely nothing.

  I woke up at my normal time, and hopped on my treadmill. It’s still dark at 5:30 am in March. But I enjoyed my hour on the treadmill by looking forward to seeing Aaron again.

  I finished my run, and went through my normal Sunday morning routine… except for the thrill of anticipation every time I thought about Aaron. I doubted he was an early riser, but I was anxious to hear from him. Finally, a little after nine am, there was a text on my phone:

  Are you wearing panties?

  Yes

  Why did you bother? Or wait – are they the kind of panties I want to see?

  I smiled as I texted back:

  I don’t know – do you like thongs?

  There was a pause, and I swear I could see that slow smile spread across his face. Then he texted:

  Leave the door unlocked and wait for me in your bedroom. Don’t start without me.

  I walked down the half flight of stairs to my front door and threw open the bolt. Then I went upstairs, back into my bedroom, and rifled through my underwear drawer, looking for the sexiest thing I owned. I had bought a nipple-less bra and matching thong years ago, in a futile effort to spice things up with Scott. Somehow, I knew Aaron would appreciate the red lace set in a way Scott never had.

  I paced in my bedroom, antsy while I waited for Aaron. When I heard the door open, I whipped around and faced my bedroom door. Aaron charged through it like a man on a mission. Or more like a bull in rut. He was already taking his shirt off as he came through the door.

  “Aar – “ before I could even finish saying his name, he had his pants stripped off and had thrown me down on the bed. Without saying a word, he slipped on his condom and slid into me. He hadn’t spoken, hadn’t kissed me yet. He hadn’t even looked me in the eye. He pumped into me, burying his face in my neck. I slipped my hands down his side and grabbed his ass in both my hands, pulling him into me as hard as I could.

  Finally, he pulled back and smiled at me. I looked at him questioningly and he said, “That was all I could think about since Friday night. I just wanted to be inside you,” he pushed deep into me as he said the last, and I gasped a little at the sensation of taking all of him. He grinned again, “And I’m not going to last long if you keep… doing… that…” I gasped with each thrust and gripped his ass tighter, pulling him into me.

  It didn’t take either of us long, and I shuddered only a few seconds before Aaron’s body went taut as he finally came, then collapsed and rolled off me.

  After a few minutes, I looked over at him, naked and beautiful, with his forearm thrown across his eyes. He felt my gaze and turned to look at me, grinning devilishly again. “Good morning, Aaron,” I said brightly. “How are you?” We both started laughing as I added, “Would you like some coffee? Maybe some breakfast?”

  He actually looked a little apologetic and said, “I hope I wasn’t too, um, quick, for you,” he grimaced and added, “but I promise that will only be the first time today, and I’ll slow down.”

  I nodded and said, “It better be only the first time today. I abstained from Big Ed all day yesterday.”

  “Aww, poor Ed,” he said sarcastically. “I think he needed a rest anyway, don’t you?”

  “I really do,” I said quietly.

  Aaron kept his promise, and we spent a leisurely Sunday eating, chatting, watching some baseball on TV… and fucking of course. Fucking all day.

  I finally said goodbye to Aaron around five, as he headed back to his parents’ for dinner, and planned to drive back to school that night.

  I was sated in a way I had never been before… and definitely looking forward to his next trip.

  Chapter 12

  “Where the hell have you been?” Molly practically shouted into my work phone Monday morning.

  “I’m really sorry, Molly,” I said sincerely. “I know I disappeared on you… but I have a really, really good excuse,” I lowered my voice, even though my office door was closed. “Remember Aaron?”

  I heard her gasp through the phone. “Oh my god, did you finally go out with him?” she whisper-screamed.

  “Well, we didn’t get out much,” I said lazily.

  Dead silence.

  “Oh. MY! god.” She said slowly. I had to laugh. We’d been friends so long, she didn’t even have to be there for me to see the expression on her face. “I’m coming for lunch. I want every detail imaginable. Every single one. Got it?”

  “Got it! See you later!” I chuckled and hung up the phone.

  ***

  I shared my weekend with Molly over lunch, which we ate in my office, sitting on my couch with the door closed and my blinds drawn. I didn’t want anyone in the reception area seeing Molly’s face and reaction as I told her about my weekend.

  “On… on the table?” I nodded. “I can’t decide what’s sexier – the table or doing it in the woods…” Molly shook her head. “Holy shit, Lyssa, it’s like you made up for a lifetime of blah sex in one weekend!”

  “I know,” I sighed. “And, I’m not done,” I smiled smugly. “Molly, as god is my witness, I am going to boink that boy every day that I possibly can. He is spec-fucking-tacular.”

  “Lyssa,” Molly whispered, eyes wide, “you are my hero.”

  “Well, at the moment, Aaron is my hero,” I said. “He went back to school last night, and I’m still grinning like an idiot!”

  “So what now?”

  I shrugged. “We said we’d see each other next time he’s in town.”

  That wasn’t entirely true. What Aaron had actually said as he left was, “I need to head back to school to rest up. Because we are definitely having more weekends like that. And this time, I mean it: think about me in the shower. Well, think about me next time Big Ed joins you for the evening.”

  “Awesome,” Molly said, standing up and brushing crumbs off her skirt. “Only problem I foresee is either your face breaking from smiling, or your hoo-hah breaking from overuse.”

  I balled up a napkin and tossed it at her head. “What?” she said innocently. “A broken hoo-hah is no laughing matter, young lady!”

  “Good bye, Molly!” I made shooing motions with my hands, sending her out the d
oor.

  “Byyyyyyye, Lyssa!”

  Molly wasn’t kidding about my grin. People at work were a tad bit suspicious, to tell the truth. Just after I poured myself a cup of coffee, I turned around to see Robert staring at me with his penetrating gaze. I smiled stupidly. Robert rolled his eyes and laughed.

  I opened my mouth to speak, and he held up his hands, “I told you!” he protested, “I do not want to know, OK?”

  I grinned and wandered back to my office, where I tried – and failed miserably – to concentrate on work.

  ***

  The weeks went by. Aaron and I texted back and forth furiously. He wanted detailed explanations about my adventures with Big Ed. I wanted him to get free for a weekend. Me going to see him at school was out of the question; aside from him being busy preparing for finals, he assured me his roommates would never keep their mouths shut, and without even discussing it, we both knew we weren’t considering “going public.”

  We never managed another weekend tryst, but finally, school was out. He arrived back in town Wednesday afternoon, earlier than I’d expected.

  I’m here. In town. The text on my phone read. I cannot get out of dinner with my parents. Can I come over around 8? Do you have plans?

  Sort of, I answered, but I think Big Ed will understand.

  You did that on purpose, so I won’t make it until 8, didn’t you?

  YEP. I laughed as I texted back.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon at work in a scattered and nervous mood. I was more nervous now than I’d been the first time. That time, I hadn’t had any time to think. And hell, I’d known any sex with Aaron was going to be the best sex I’d had in twenty years.

  Now I had more than eight hours to fret and freak myself out. What if that weekend had been a fluke? What if our attraction had burned itself out? What if that almost-magical fire didn’t catch this time? I was so air-headed, Jean finally asked me if I was all right.

  “Yes, sorry, Jean. I just have a lot on my mind,” I said absent-mindedly.

  “Of course,” said Jean sympathetically. “After all,” she looked around conspiratorially and whispered, “it’s only been a few months.”

  I had no idea what she was talking about. “A few months since what?” I asked, confused.

  “Well,” Jean hesitated and whispered again, “since your… you know… divorce.”

  It was hard not to laugh. But I certainly didn’t feel the need to explain myself to her. “Yes, right, of course,” I said dismissively. Then I sighed dramatically. “Well, if you’ll excuse me. I have a lot of paperwork to plow through.”

  I hadn’t thought about my divorce in weeks. I hadn’t given Scott a thought since that last encounter with him and his box o’ porn, and my conversation with Kyle afterward.

  I spent the afternoon trying unsuccessfully to focus on work. I got home and was still so wound up, I hopped on the treadmill and popped in a movie. I needed a double-whammy of keeping my mind and body occupied. I made myself dinner, took a hot shower, and tried not to crawl out of my skin with anticipation. I even considered having a round or two with Big Ed, but I was too nervous even for that.

  I had just gotten my hair dried when my phone beeped. It was only seven, but I had a text from Aaron.

  Dinner’s done. Can I come over? I’m about to explode. All I can think about is being inside of you.

  Holy shit. I felt instantly swollen, wet and aroused.

  Door’s unlocked. You remember where my bedroom is?

  You bet your incredibly fine ass I remember. Be there in 10.

  Now I was so nervous, I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I was glad he was coming an hour earlier, and freaked because I didn’t know what to wear… should I put on make-up?... Maybe lingerie? What had he said he liked?... I could not remember.

  Lyssa, I finally told myself, Calm the hell down. He obviously wants you or he wouldn’t be coming over. Just calm. Down.

  I threw open my closet and my eyes alighted on something I had totally forgotten about: thigh-high boots I’d bought for a costume years ago. They’d been sitting in my closet for years, untouched. I shrugged. What the hell? Maybe if I convince myself I’m in control, I won’t feel so out of control. I pulled out my black lacey push-up bra, too. And a black thong, just for good measure. Why not? I thought to myself, It’s OK if I show this kid who’s in charge, right?

  In my heightened state of awareness, I heard a car pull up outside. I peeked through the curtain in my bedroom and saw Aaron jogging up my front walk. Good, I thought, he’s as anxious as I am!

  I had left the door unlocked, so I hurried down the hall. When Aaron burst through the door, he looked up the half-flight of stairs and saw me decked out, leaning on the handrail.

  He took one look at me, and his jaw hit the floor. Then a slow smile spread across his face. “God damn,” he said, as he pushed the door closed and slowly came up the stairs. He stopped a stair below me and wrapped his hands around my waist. I put my hands in his hair, and leaned his head back.

  “Glad you could make it,” I said. My voice came out much calmer than I felt. The illusion was shattered, however, when Aaron leaned forward and ran his tongue from my bellybutton up to my bra. I shuddered, and truthfully, squeaked a little. The touch of his tongue left a line of raw nerve-endings going up my body. He continued kissing and licking me as he stripped off his jeans. Somehow, he managed to get out a condom and put it on as he continued licking and kissing my body, while I ran my hands through his hair and threw my own head back.

  Suddenly he hooked both sides of my thong around his fingers and yanked down. Miraculously, I managed to stay on my feet, even in the high-heeled boots. I stepped out of my thong just as Aaron shot into a standing position as he hoisted me up in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he put one hand on my ass to support my weight and the other on my back to keep my upright. Barely looking at me, he took my mouth, hard.

  Without me realizing it, he had walked us over to the couch. Suddenly he threw me down on the couch. Before I could even get a breath, he was on top of me, inside of me. He kissed me hard again, and I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him in as deep as I could. He pumped hard, moaning against my mouth, until his body stiffened and he thrust once more, deep, and stayed deep inside of me. I felt the waves of his orgasm wash through me, I felt the warmth of his desire and the weight of him on top of me. It was almost enough… but not quite.

  “I am so sorry, Lyssa,” he whispered into my ear. Then he pulled away and looked at me. “But when I saw you in those boots… and I have been thinking about you so much…” he laughed apologetically, “Well, there was no way I was going to last long the first time.” He smiled his panty-dropping smile at me. “But,” he pulled back and looked at me again, shaking his head, “I guarantee, it’s not going to take me long to be ready again.”

  “Hmm,” I said thoughtfully, pulling my arms overhead in what I hoped was a provocative pose, “what should we do while we wait for you to be ready ag – “ I couldn’t finish my sentence because he had dived between my legs. No build up this time – no slow, gentle move toward my clitoris. Aaron just set his tongue on me.

  I thought the last time had been intense. Maybe because it had been weeks since he’d touched me, maybe because I was aroused but not sated… I don’t know. Aaron worked my clit with his tongue and slid one, then two fingers inside of me, finding a spot that I have never managed to find. He worked me – not being slow or gentle – as I writhed on the couch, overwhelmed with the incredible feeling.

  It was so intense, I almost couldn’t breathe. When I climaxed, I cried out and my body shook and trembled as the waves washed over me. I actually lost awareness for a moment, because the next thing I knew, Aaron was on top of me again, inside of me again. I opened my eyes to look up into his smiling face.

  I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on his face. “Proud of yourself?” I asked breathlessly.

  He cocked a
n eyebrow and smiled lopsidedly as he gently moved back and forth inside of me. “Yeah,” he whispered, lowering his head to nuzzle my neck. The gentle movement felt so good after that orgasm had rocked me. I relaxed back into the couch and enjoyed the feel of Aaron inside of me, Aaron on top of me, feeling my way up his rock-hard arms and strong shoulders. When Aaron’s breath grew ragged, and I knew he was close to climaxing, I gripped him with my core muscles again. Once again, I didn’t think I could come again, and once again I was wrong. As he moaned into my ear, I felt myself release yet again. He collapsed on top of me, and laughed against my breasts as my body shuddered in post-orgasm euphoria.

  ***

  I worked Thursday and Friday, but Aaron came over as soon as he was done having dinner with his parents. Without really talking about it – without even needing to talk about it – Aaron went home every night. We were still both clear on what this was: a summer tryst, nothing more. Without any added pressure, we both just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves.

  As for working together, we hatched a plan that Sunday afternoon, as we lazed in my backyard in the late-spring sunshine. My hedges and trees were such that we were able to lounge unobserved by neighbors. We lay on a blanket on the grass, Aaron on his stomach in just a pair of shorts. I had on the very short, draw-string cotton shorts I only wore in this backyard, and a cami with a built-in bra.

  “OK, so you start at the office tomorrow, and – “ I started, but Aaron had cut me off.

  “Is there a broom closet you can meet me in, like every hour or so?”

  “Cut it out!” I’d slapped his ass, and let my hand linger there. “On second thought, watching this ass of yours in suit pants all day… that’ll make it really, really hard to concentrate.” I leaned over and laid my face against the small of his back, breathing in his scent: young, strong, and perpetually horny. Best combination ever.