Torque

by Shauna Allen

  Something dark and arrogant filled his face as he diverted and started our way. I shoved up out of my chair immediately, causing my friends to silence and stare up at me.

  Blake stood as soon as he figured it out. “Jesse. Dude.”

  I glanced his way. “Yeah. I know.” I gave my other friends a cursory nod as they stood by my side as well. “I’ll just go.”

  I grabbed my cell, threw down a five for my drink, and brushed past Joel. I gritted my teeth, ignoring the taunts he mumbled under his breath.

  In the parking lot, I inhaled a big gulp of humid air and tried to clear my head before I ripped out on my Harley. It took all I had to pull out and head home. Maybe if there were any other place to hang out in this one-horse town, I’d go. Maybe. It pissed me off that I even had to consider that for the likes of Joel Mackie.

  Ten minutes later, I turned into the apartment lot, anger and frustration still coursing through me with no outlet.

  Killing the engine, I bowed my head, my fists still squeezed around the handlebars. Would any of this ugliness ever go the hell away?

  The gentle clearing of a throat brought my head up. Rachel’s dark eyes took me in, her face unreadable, as she crossed her arms under her breasts and lifted a brow in question. A thousand emotions warred within me. Desire. Hope. Despair. Fear.

  I stifled them all as I slowly removed my helmet, giving myself time to think. But it did no good when I glanced back and took in her skin tight jeans and tank top.

  I stood and crowded her, but she didn’t move. Points for her.

  “How do you know where I live?” I asked, my voice thankfully not betraying me.

  “Huh?” Her head snapped back in confusion. Then her eyes cleared and a tiny almost-smile touched her lips. “It’s a small town, Jesse. Plus, I have best friend benefits, and that comes with perks.”

  I studied her, not comprehending.

  “Delilah,” she said in exasperation. “My bestie’s married to your friend and boss.”

  Ah. I sidestepped her, palming my keys. I could not handle this right now.

  “Jesse.”

  Her voice, a demand and a plea all at once, stopped me. I pivoted reluctantly and took her in.

  She was silent a moment as we studied each other. “Were you seriously trying to turf me off on the competitor?”

  I said nothing.

  “Why? Because of the kiss?”

  Not ‘our kiss,’ not ‘a kiss,’ not ‘my kiss.’ No. The Kiss.

  She sure knew how to cut to the chase. I began to shake my head, but she cut me off, anger spiking her color.

  “That’s bullshit, Jesse, and you know it. What are you so damned afraid of?” She stormed in my direction, her eyes alight with emotion. “Huh? Tell me!”

  Rachel

  I was vibrating and pissed and hurt and frustrated as hell that Jesse would barely look me in the eye. I hated being ignored, but this was even worse. How could he just shove me aside like I was nothing? Did he honestly think that would work?

  “Well?” I prompted.

  He raked a frustrated hand through his hair, making the blond glint in the streetlight. “No.”

  “No, what?”

  “No, it has nothing to do with the kiss. I was just looking out for you, that’s all.”

  I studied him, soaking in the hardness of his features. But there was something below that. Something that looked an awful lot like pain. I felt myself soften toward him. “I thought we already covered this.” I took a step in his direction when he didn’t acknowledge me. “Jesse.”

  He slid his arm away when I reached for him. “Mike is a good mechanic.” His voice held a subtle warning.

  “Be that as it may, I want you.”

  His blue eyes flashed. “No. You don’t.”

  Why was I fighting this battle? Was I the only one who felt . . . something . . . between us?

  I opened my mouth to protest, but the agony that ripped across his face stopped me. Whatever this was, it had nothing to do with me and I couldn’t fix it. Not now, anyway.

  A warm breeze rustled my ponytail and his eyes tracked the curls that swirled around my face. Yes, he felt something, too, but he wasn’t going to let himself go there. Maybe it was for the best.

  I bit my lip and nodded once. My heart quivered when he relaxed and spun away toward the stairs. His head was bowed as he gripped the handrail, pausing momentarily. Long enough for me to think, ‘What the hell?’

  “Jesse!”

  The breath drug in and out of him in great bursts as I approached. Warily, he faced me. I wanted to cry at his wounded expression. His eyes tracked my hand as I lifted it, ever so slowly, and cupped his cheek. My thumb traced his lip.

  My heart was galloping like a racehorse and I knew, no matter how angry I was, or how he’d hurt me, he was hurting worse, and I’d do anything to fix it.

  I leaned up on tiptoe and brushed my lips to his. Once. Twice.

  On the third pass, he groaned and yanked me toward him, his mouth slanting and opening to devour mine.

  We eventually broke apart, panting, our foreheads pressed together. He clutched me fiercely, his eyes squeezed shut, as he waged some internal battle.

  I pulled away after brushing one more soft kiss to his lips. “I won’t be using Mike or anyone else, Jesse.” I stepped back and he opened his eyes to study me. “You call me when you’re ready.”

  He didn’t say anything as I turned and rushed to my Audi and drove off into the dark Texas night.

  I went home and called Jewel to see how she was acclimating at her new job then drowned myself in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s before taking a bath and sinking into a fitful sleep. All the while, hoping that Jesse would call.

  But of course, he didn’t.

  I woke up groggy and unrested, and dressed in a gray pantsuit that matched my mood. Minimal makeup, hair in a low bun. Glasses. That oughta do it.

  In a moment of weakness, I hit the Starbucks on my way to work for a Caramel Macchiato, then parked around back. Huffing a breath, I grabbed my coffee and briefcase and made my way inside the office.

  Thankfully, Angelo wasn’t anywhere around as I let myself into my office after a quick hello to my assistant, Gracie. I slid into my comfortable leather chair. I really loved this chair, it was one of the few things I’d chosen myself and the bright red suited me.

  Sipping my caffeinated heaven, I checked my messages and booted up my computer. Mrs. Casey would be in later this afternoon to discuss her case and I had some prep to do, as well as meet with a new client seeking some sort of custodial arrangement as her baby’s father was in prison and she worried his unstable family would seek custody.

  Setting my coffee down, I frowned at the email popping up on my screen.

  Urgent meeting with all partners. Attendance mandatory. Tuesday 9 a.m. sharp.

  Angelo Moretti, Senior Partner

  Chaseman and Moretti, Attorneys at Law

  Family & Criminal Law

  Who the hell did he think he was, announcing a “mandatory” meeting without discussing it with me first? With a glance at my wall clock, I strode from my office at 8:57 and stormed down to the conference room.

  Shoving open the door, I found Angelo sitting at the head of the table, rifling through some papers. His head snapped up at my entrance. “Rachel.”

  “What’s this, Angelo?”

  His brows dipped. “A meeting. Didn’t you get the memo?”

  I stepped in his direction, slightly thrilled to see him blanch. “Yes. I got the memo. Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?” I stopped when I was in his space and crossed my arms, looking down my nose at him. Just because we’d ended our personal relationship, I’d be damned if I’d let him bully me in my own firm.

  His face cleared as he steeled whatever balls he had. “It’s not. I told you the other day, we needed to discuss our clientele.”

  “And I told you—”

  I was interrupted as our junior partners, April M
ead and Don Strickland, bustled in, coffee cups in hand, already murmuring about cases and legal precedents.

  I stifled my anger and forced a smile. “Good morning.”

  April, uptight as usual, with her mousy brown hair in a rigid bun, sat first. “Morning.” She began straightening the papers she’d brought along.

  I turned my attention to Don and his ready smile and gleaming silver hair. He was always jovial and grandfatherly and I’d loved him since the day I hired him. “Good morning. Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

  I breathed deeply and forced my shoulders to relax. I agreed because even in my gloomy mood, I couldn’t deny the Texas sky was bright and blue this morning, humidity low.

  I sat down next to Don and focused on Angelo to see what this was all about, just as our newest partner, Andrew Stripling, strode in like he owned the place. “Good morning, everyone.” He sat to Angelo’s right, barely acknowledging me or April.

  Excuse fucking me.

  I stared him down until he lifted dull gray eyes to mine. I tilted my head ever-so-slightly, silently calling out his chauvinistic dismissal. Again, my firm as much as Angelo’s, and I’d had a hand in hiring him, too.

  His gaze dipped as he tipped his head in apparent apology.

  “Now that we’re all here, let’s get this meeting started. I know we all have a busy day ahead,” Angelo began.

  I sat back to watch the spectacle.

  “First, I’d like to officially welcome Andrew to our family. He brings with him several years of experience with one of the biggest criminal law firms in Atlanta, as well as an impressive list of clients. I, for one, am thrilled he decided to relocate to Texas, and that our little firm will reap the benefits of his knowledge.” Angelo’s smile was huge, dollar signs shining in his eyes. Gag.

  “Over the weekend, I was contacted by Congressman Hoyt, who is looking for representation for his son as he battles that nasty rape charge. I’m sure that’s due in large part to you being here, Andrew.”

  My eyes grew wide as I recalled the news of young Barry Hoyt, Jr., who’d been caught red-handed raping a sorority girl he’d roofied at his frat house. Disgusting.

  While everyone around me began tittering with the positive implications, prestige, and money this type of exposure could bring to the firm, I just felt ill. What had we become? I did not start out on this legal journey to enable the rich and powerful as they stomped on the weak.

  We should not be representing that Hoyt prick. We should be helping the girl he callously brutalized, knowing his name would get him off.

  When I stood, shaking in frustration, and said so, the room became silent as everyone stared at me like I’d grown another head. I blinked away sudden angry tears and bolted back to my office, overwhelmed by the feeling of having lost my way.

  Jesse

  It had been the week from hell. Not because of anything in particular, but because of everything. Parts were on back order for Mr. Riley’s bike, so I was sitting on my thumbs, we’d lost another customer once they figured out I was the resident felon, and I was a mess from missing Rachel. Stupid, I knew, but there it was. After our parting kiss and her words of warning—well, that’s how they felt—I wasn’t sure if I was looking forward to seeing her again or not. Sure, my body wanted that like nobody’s business. But my heart and mind weren’t so sure.

  By the end of the day on Friday, I was fit to be tied and more than ready to go home and sleep for the entire weekend. Unfortunately, I had already promised my mom I’d come by for dinner since everyone would be there and I knew how much my folks liked having all their little ducklings under one roof.

  “Hello, boys.”

  I spun from cleaning my hands at the sink. Delilah had slipped in the bay doors, dressed to the nines in form-fitting dark jeans, a sparkly blue top, heels, and a baby perched on her hip. Her hair was swept up off her neck and her makeup was heavier than usual. Must be date night.

  Blake sauntered over, grabbed his daughter then leaned in and kissed his wife. Behind them, Delilah’s cousin, Jewel, hovered in the shadows, her head downturned. She’d always struck me as either a very unhappy girl, or as a girl running from something. I’d heard bits and pieces of what brought her to town, namely an ex with a screw loose, but I knew very few details and liked it that way. Everyone deserved their secrets, and I could certainly appreciate that. She was a pretty thing with voluptuous curves and Micah, try as he might, couldn’t keep his eyes off her anytime she was around. She, however, didn’t seem to notice he was alive. It was kinda funny.

  “Well,” Blake said to the room at large. “The wife and I are going out on a hot date, after which I’m hoping to get lucky, so I’m closing up shop.”

  Delilah flushed and smacked him on the arm. “Oh, my God, Blake. I can’t believe you just said that.”

  He shot her a mock wounded look. “What? It’s the truth. I wouldn’t be a man otherwise, and my compadres understand. Don’t you, guys?” He flashed the rest of us a shit-eating grin.

  Trace just belly-laughed and grabbed his keys before sneaking a kiss to Delilah’s cheek and heading out with a quick hello to Jewel. He had to pick up Ryder anyway.

  Micah met me by the sink with a mumble of agreement, his gaze most specifically not on Jewel. He turned and washed his hands. I snuck a glance toward Jewel and found her eyes darting between his back and her car in the lot. She slid up to Blake and held out her hands for Molly. He smothered his daughter’s face in about a million kisses before handing her over.

  “I love you, my little princess,” he said with another kiss to the top of her head.

  Delilah watched it all with love and adoration clear on her face. Hell, I think she’d always looked at Blake like that. Now there was just another member of their family to share their love. Their lives were about as different as you could get, and it had initially stood in their way, but love had prevailed, and now they were stronger than ever. I know I missed a bunch of crap while I was locked up for five years, but whatever had happened, those two were tighter than ever.

  Jewel took off with the baby, obviously babysitting for the night, and the happy couple wandered out into the lot. Micah and I followed closely behind as Blake locked up. “Have a good weekend,” he said, his eyes already eating up his wife.

  Trace was already gone. Micah strode over to his Jeep, probably to head off to his Krav Maga gym as usual. That left me, staring at their dust and wondering if happy endings could really happen like that. Could I dare hope?

  Shaking my head, I straddled my bike and scooted to my parents’.

  The driveway was already packed when I got there, so I parked in the street by my old mailbox. Still painted white, the wildflowers that had been lovingly hand-painted by my mother were now faded and the ‘O’ in our last name was barely visible, but it was a piece of our history. A symbol of better times . . .

  Mom smiles at me, her eyes lifting from the flowers she’s painting on the mailbox Dad just bought her for her birthday. “You sure you have practice today?”

  I nod. “Yup.”

  “Okay,” she says a bit reluctantly, as if she’s expecting something bad to happen. The paintbrush tips in her hand as she waves goodbye. I jump on my bike to head to baseball practice down at the school. “Bye, honey. Have fun.”

  I grin and ride like the wind down the little hill of our street, loving the speed it gives me and the wind slapping my cheeks. Dad got me this bike for my tenth birthday last summer and I really, really love it. It’s shiny and goes fast, and is the coolest one on the block. Even better than Dwayne’s.

  I’ve been ignoring the black clouds the whole way, but it starts sprinkling as I near the school, and by the time I’m at the field, it’s pouring. I run to the cover of the school building overhang and search the field. No one’s here. Did I get the day wrong?

  I slide down the wall to sit and wait out the rain.

  “Hey, Jesse.”

  My head snaps up and I automatically grin when I see my
coach, Mr. Sanders. “Hey.” I rise and dust off my pants.

  His eyes dart around as if searching for someone. “You here alone?”

  “Yeah.” I glance around. “Where’s everybody else?”

  “I guess you didn’t hear. Practice was cancelled.”

  The rain beats behind his back and a bolt of lightning lights up the field. A weird, wiggly feeling slides through me when he clasps my shoulder, his eyes intent on mine.

  That day changed everything. My life, my body, my soul. I never told, even when it happened again. I couldn’t. I felt dirty and tainted and that I somehow deserved it. And that was long, long before prison.

  “Hey, bro.”

  I snapped to when I heard my older brother’s voice. My smile was automatic. “Hey, Dwayne.” We clasped hands in a brotherly half-shake half-hug. “How’s it going?”

  I watched him grab a baby bag out of the back of his minivan. “Great. All good. You?”

  I shrugged and answered by rote, choosing to ignore my less than stellar week and meeting with Officer Lopez. My family did not need to hear that shit. “Fine.”

  He eyed me speculatively as we neared the front door. “Sure?”

  “Yeah. Why not?”

  “I dunno.” He paused, his hand on the knob. “You just look . . . preoccupied?”

  My gaze tracked over his shoulder to the mailbox. “Nostalgia, I guess.”

  He nodded and swung open the door. “Well, I know Mom is thrilled we’re all here for dinner. Just wait until she hears me and Audra’s news.” His grin was broad and ridiculous.

  “No . . .” I lowered my voice and glanced down the hall to make sure there weren’t any stragglers. “Another baby?”

  He said nothing, but his smile grew even bigger if that was possible.

  “Dude. You do know what causes that, right?”

  He laughed full out just as his oldest barreled into his legs. “Yeah, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  I watched him as he swung my nephew up into the air and hugged the squealing kid to his chest. What was it with all these people and their need to procreate? I had never considered it a possibility for me, but I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t been on my mind a little more lately. A kid or two would be awesome. Some innocence to blot out the ugly.