Beloved Sisters and Loving Friends

by Farah Jasmine Griffin

  New York June 24 1861

  Mon 6 o’clock A.M.

  My Darling & Beloved Rebecca

  […] You know I told you that I thought that I had offended Mr. Lee well I have not the letter has drawn him to me he has been here two or three times every week Mother told me she was going to ask Mr. Lee to come and spend the fourth and I thought she was jesting but I see she was not she ask him he said he would I have now got to dress the 9 Children so I must bring this to a close I hope you will not be disappointed with letter give my love to the Family kiss your Mother and your Aunt Emily for me and kiss yourself if you can believe me I remain your Devoted

  Addie

  Addie probably represents many young African American women of the period, far more of whom were in Addie’s position than in Rebecca’s. Being “in service” means that Addie’s workday never ends; she is an all-around house servant, nursemaid, and seamstress.

  New York June 25 1861

  My most Beloved Friend

  O Dear how tired I am of sewing my fingers is even sore I told Mother I will not sew any more to night it tis ten o’clock I will rest myself by penning a few scattering thought to the Idol of my heart. We have go five dresses to finish by Saturday night dont you think we have to be very expeditious my Darling I can imagine that your are saying to your Dear self it serve me right dont my love be to serious with me.

  […] Rebecca do not think I’m flattering myself what I’m about to inform you well it tis this I’m the favorite of this Family and also the family lives up Stairs Dear Rebecca I have come to conclusion that I’m human being O Rebecca I want to tell you while I think of it Mr. Lee made me a present of a book it tis very pretty it quite laughable to see what he has written in it to me he has got a rose in it and got the initial of my and the rose and language of the rose is true Love I received on Thursday so on Saturday Selina ask me to let her see my book so I got it for her she ask me if I know what it meant I told her that I had not time to look at it I wish you had of heard her how she went on about and said she would tell Mr. Lee I would not be surprise if she did tell him Mother would like very much for me to have the Gentleman she like him very much she says how is it about you my love. Dear Rebecca there was most horrible accident happen here last week cross the St. from us you ever want to witness there was two colored men got to fighting and one them cut the other face to pieces it make me feel faint to think of it the St. is dreadful to live in but very good business street we have great deal work sometimes more than we can do for the last two or three weeks we have been sewing on black the people are dying very fast here the smallpox is very bad here I am safe on that for I had a… touch of it.

  […] I will hope to

  Remain your Pet

  Addie Brown

  We are beginning to see evidence of the war in Addie’s letters, although she refrains from any sustained engagement with the political events of the day.

  New York July 2 1861

  My Beloved Rebecca

  […] I will tell you, my Aunt that I live with once in Philadelphia, her son, he here with the 7 Reg & so he heard that I was in NY so he call to see me. We had quit pleasant time. I was more than surprise to see him for I thought there was so down on me that would not take the pains to ever inquire so after me. I guess I’m human after all dont you think so Dearest. Will you not say yes. Well I will imagine you are saying so….

  New York July 13 1861

  My Ever Dear & Darling Friend

  […] Mr. Lee inform you that I look great deal better now fatter nobody see but himself for some of my clothes intirely to big for me I must have lost some of my flesh you will see as you say when I come on this will I hope be soon well my Dearest I am sitting quite alone Thinking of the past and present and dreaming of the future wondering if the blank will be filled with the joys or sorrows of this checkered life oh my Darling [….]

  I must tell you about last Sunday Mother Uncle is Dead he was buried last Thursday A.M. the Family of course did not attend Church so Mother said to us girls that we must go up Sunday P.M. see the corpse we had some 20 min walk before we got to the cars and then tis a hour ride up there we started from the house at 6 o’clock and got there at 8 o’clock so we did not stay very long they when come to take the cars to come home it was so full we could not get in so Warwick this is Selina brother he said to us let us walk little ways up and perhaps we can get in the nexe so we kept walking it was beautiful ever cars past was just as full as the first if I spoke of you once half doz times to Selina wishing you was with us I would have enjoyed much better then I did [….] Good bye until the nexe time your Dearest

  Addie

  New York July 13 1861

  My Dear & Dearest Rebecca

  As tis a rainy Day and do not feel very well so I did not attend church I have been reading in the Bible first chapter first book of Samuel and I stop reading I have been in a deep revirer about you and wondering if it was raining in Hartford or not. Yesterday I was very busy I never got done sewing until eleven last night one consolation I have that I will have some rest nexe month if I live that long Mrs. Nott was telling me before I left that when I come in they had some sewing for me to do for her but my Darling I think she will not have it done by me I dont expect to take a needle in my hand after I leave to make a visit in Hartford (unless necessity compell me to so) Rebecca the Shilo Church & the St. Phill Church2 had a picnic last Tuesday I did not go although I had several invitations they say they had beautiful time they injoyed themselves very much there going to be a private one two week from now some young ladies are getting it up I’m not going to that either I’m home from Monday untill Sunday then I manage to get to Church as a duty who as I have a love for the Church. Dear Rebecca we have a minister in the house with us he is a good man he call me his Daughter Addie he think everything of me but the… all he be blind he can see a very little so last Thursday I went to church to hear him I was very much delighted to hear him I had the pleasure of leading him home his church is in the same St. I live in only two St. above make it pleasant O I forgot he is a Baptist minister [….]

  The first explicit mention of the Civil War occurs in the following letter. Addie is probably referring to a series of small battles that occurred on June 3 and July 13, which resulted in the creation of West Virginia as a state loyal to the Union.

  We also get a sense of the economic hardships faced by the black community during these years and of the function of the churches as not only spiritual and political centers but also the primary location of social interaction. In addition, Addie is an observer of, if not a participant in, black street culture. In the letters that follow, we learn something of her highly critical views of this aspect of her community.

  New York July 22 1861

  My Most Darling Friend

  Only to think there is only 17 days when I will able to be imbrace in your loving arms I hope once more seem I can hardly have patience to wait that limited time My Dear there is going to be a picinic nexe week I would give any thing if you was only here to attend too for I know you would be delighted they have very nice picnic here some of the young ladies are getting it up every ladies that goes take something and then the Gentlemen are toss 50 cts pieces Mother want me to go and so I have partly promise her I will go she says she will not go without me she think it tis on account of Mr. Lee I told her she was sadly mistaken so rather to have any one think that I will go in spite of everything [….] My Dear our work is getting stuck I’m very glad for Im very tired how is your Ma’s work is she just as busy as ever?

  They was a young Col girl was taken up last Tuesday for being intoxicated I dont think she hardly could be over 17 years old it was directly opposite us she laid flat on the work and she… there was two or three hard to get in front of her to keep her clothes down in fact the st was in excitement all day must there was four taken up & three was white do you blame me my darling not wanting to live in New York.

  I see by the papers that they have com
mence to fighting I’m very glad of it. It make time very dull here Father restaurant is not doing anything it worry Mother very much for she has very large Family I told her the other day that I would go to Hartford to live again no indeed I should now I’m here with her again I shall stay she says I’m just the same to her as if I was her own Child all I have to say I hope she will continue to think so do not mention what I have pen here will you my love for its Family affairs.

  What beautiful moonlight evenings we are having I sometimes sit by the winder and wonder what you are doing whether you are thinking of me there or not I dont think we have together injoyed many moonlight evenings have we? if we have not I hope will take time Rebecca when I think of it I will tell you when I’m coming on it be the 8 of Aug it will be on Thursday or Friday AM you will meet the boat… do to come for I will be looking for you with all the eyes that I got in my head they are not good for much now [….]

  New York July 28 1861

  My own Darling Friend

  […] I only attend Church in the A.M. Mother has went & also Father the latter has not attend church before in two or three years & Mother but once since I have been home I suppose you are wondering the reason I did not go well I will tell you the youngest of us had a boil on his forehead he was not a fit subject to attend church so I staid home Selina she did not go in the A.M. our church is close until the first Sunday in September then it will be open again it give chance all those want recreations I for one of the number I intend to take it too I will mention it again I’m coming the 8 Aug. so on Friday A.M. I will expect you down to the boat do not fail coming by all means you cant imagine how much I want to see you my loving Friend [….]

  I ever remain the same Affec & loving Addie except one sweat kiss from her truly love thee Dearly Addie

  During a time when many free blacks were somewhat cautious about their movements for fear of being taken for slaves or kidnapped and sold into slavery, Addie, Rebecca, and their peers nonetheless seemed to travel quite freely throughout the Northeast. For Rebecca and her sister Bell, travel was primarily linked to their social and familial network; they visited friends and relatives in New York, Philadelphia, and Boston. While Addie traveled socially as well, most of her travel was linked to work or a search for employment opportunity.

  Addie’s letters following her visits with Rebecca in Hartford relay a sense of the interactions between the two women. The two friends have been writing now for two years.

  New York Aug. 16 1861

  My Dearest & most Affec Friend

  I thought before going to my work I would pen a few lines to my Darling Rebecca wish is Dearer to me then any thing on this earth. I arrived here safe but with a very bad headache & not much better now I got here at 20 min. of 11 o’clock and went to sewing at half past 11 and sew until 12 at night I sew until I almost fainted. I was so sick that Selina had to undress me [….] Mr. Lee paid the utmost attention to me he come home with me and say he going to call Tuesday to see me Dear Rebecca it was kind chilly so I wore your sack home I will send it nexe week with Mrs. Nott things will that do my love

  O my Dear will you Remember my Rubbers dont you let her have them

  Mother received me very lovingly more so then I wonder her for it may not last long what do you say about Selina also in fact all the family Ive got a new name they all call me sis excuse this short letter for I hardly know what I am doing my head pains me very bad I have got a dress to make by to night so do not think hard me writing this letter.

  from your ever

  Dear and loving Addie

  PS Mother send her love to your Mo would like to see her very much I will write a letter to you soon this only a note Addie

  except a sweat kiss

  Hartford Aug. 31 1861

  My Dear Friend

  Im now going to comply to your request you would like to know my feelings toward you when I come here it seems strange that you should ask such a question did you think that I did not love you as much as I profess or what was it? it was not that my love you remember the day I come up on the P.M. I come over to your house or in the eve you come home with me you know the conversations we had I felt hurt about it I did not expected it I try to forget it as you ask me to do but ever time I come near you I thought of it and thought perhaps you did and that make me feel as I did you spoke in the manner that you could not trust me out of your site for this I would do most anything if I did not think you would hear of it my Darling that not so for I’m not ashamed to do anything that un proper in your site or out of your site Dear Rebecca the love I have you I will commit that I was rather in a hurry in everything you know my love you are better offense to young man and you know you dont care to have any one as go with me and course I dont feel that fear now to come to you I tell you how I feel towards you that is this like a Child would feel toward a Mother how has forbidden Gentlemen to go with her Daughter and she loves her Mother to that extent that you dont want to displease and still she would like to have her say in that line and sometimes when I think of it all most here for my hearts. Dear Rebecca no ones know the love I have for you I have tried to tell you but have not Rebecca there is one thing no one on the face of this earth that love any more than I do and you are the only that I love or ever try to love nobody will come between us in love if they do anything else the one thing that I do truly wish from the bottom of my heart that you could to talk free with me in everything I must close this

  hoping to see you soon

  from you Dearest

  and Devoted Addie

  Rebecca was not the only Primus daughter with whom Addie had a close friendship. Rebecca’s vivacious younger sister Bell visited Addie in the fall of 1861. The New York household welcomes her into their extended family and entertains her with a whirlwind of social activity.

  New York Sept. 17 1861

  My Darling & most Noble Friend

  My thought been upon you all this day I would like to see you very much its only one thing keep me that is money it tis 11 o’clock I supose you are sleeping while I’m pening a few lines to you Bell she ingage in looking out of the window would you like to know what she is looking at my love well I will tell you across the street from us a set of col people playing and dancing there is quite a mob gathered around them it no wonder that our race is so degraded since Ive been in NY and get to thinking and see the actions of our people I wish that I did not belongs to the race but it cant be help now so I will have to make the best of it. I with the rest of the Family was delighted to see Bell she bout got in so late that we had gave her up and much disappointed about half past 2 o’clock she made her appearance O my Dear my Dear Rebecca I must thank you for the loaf of B you send me it was splendid and we had it that night for tea this eve Bell and my sister and I went to market then we return home with our things and then went to the shoemakers and then from there made a call and also heard mass about 11 we retire for the night on Sunday all day attend church in the eve we made call again and then we left there and took a long walk & we felt quite tired when we return home Monday we went over to Jersey city and call to Miss Kninles school she was very much please to see Bell and also surprise she has a very nice little school she took us and made a call on one of her Friends we expect to go again this week we left home half past 10 and got back at 6½ today we was to go to Barnum’s but we disappointed on account of the rain and defer it untill Saturday Bell has little romance to tell you about today we are invited to Mrs. Peterson and think some thing of going tomorrow Thursday we are going to the Central Park if it pleasant four of us in company we have not got anything for Friday as yet that day look our for it self we are gig up to Father saloon all of the Friends are very much please with Bell think she is very fine young Lady Selina is delighted with her as well as myself. Well my Dearest Friend it growing late and B is sleeping finally and I must be doing the same so I must bring this to a close my bidding you kind and gentle good night your for Ever Addie

  Addie’s attitude toward t
he men in her life fluctuates. At times she is ambivalent about them and about marriage as well. Her primary emotional relationship is with Rebecca, though she does not discount the possibility of marriage. In this way she is much like the middle-class white women described by scholars such as Carroll Smith-Rosenberg and Lillian Faderman.

  New York Sept. 25 1861

  My Darling Friend

  […] All this day I allmost felt like shedding tear I will my Dear inform you few of my thoughts do you ever think that we will live together anymore or live within two or three miles of each other is it possible that we are not able to clasp each other in our arm but once a year O my Dear Dear Rebecca must it be so never when I think of it make me unhappy. Rebecca within a year if thers no change I will make one perhaps it will displease you very much for I must be near you if possible I was alone all day the Children goes to school and mother went down to see Grandma how I wish that you was here Der Rebecca Mr. Lee comes here yet to see me Mother says if she was in his place and I treat her so she would never come any more to see me I dont see what it tis about me that he can give me up there is a another Gent in love with me has been here three evenings this week my old Lover when he get a chance he tis with me two out of the three what will I do? I appeal to you for advice will you not give it me love dont say no for you are the only one I look up to my Friend I sometime think strongly of getting married sometime I think and see things it make me feel unhappy if I was only near you I could embrace all to you well my Darling I will not say any about this is geting quite late and I must prepare for retiring for the night Rebecca I miss Bell very much I felt very lonesome without her excellent company I enjoyed myself very much the only fault I found rest of the Family was that she did not stay long enough we did not get around half. Did she tell you about her sleeping party we went to? When I thinks of it I have to laugh there was considerable romance in Bell visit here NY I dont thats forget well Rebecca I’m getting tired so I must close by bidding a sweet good night