Beloved Sisters and Loving Friends

by Farah Jasmine Griffin

  [Oh] Rebecca I forgot to tell you that Mrs. Thompson has move she left very meanly she was not to move untill the first of May that was the bargain when she moved in when the children had they party she got very angry to think they had a violin she said that she was living amongst heathen people she made a remark to Mrs. Scott as soon as she could she going to move so when Selina and the rest of the girls had their party it was a death blow to her so the last of that week Mrs. T was moving out and left mother pay her rent. Don’t you think that was mean in her to do so such as life. Aunt Chaty is looking out of the window at the people going to church so she just put her head in asking me who am I writing to she say give my love to Dear Rebecca and tell her I rec her letter and was very sick at the time but now she is quite well she want to know if you cant find her a service place for her a cook place she think she feel better if you will she will go on and take you for a mother and a sister and a husband and companion something else I forgot so my Dear I wont write any more I must go toward the fire and prepare for bed I dont know what Aunt C see in the St at night I ask her I told you as before at the people going to church once again good night sweet Sister.

  […] Aunt Chaty my brother Ally and I spent a very pleasant evening together not with standing my heart was with you. Last Sunday morn there was a large fire down town it was a cane store Ally said they was thrown the case out by the had full every fireman got one he tried to get one but being so very large or rather tall he could not get one he something like me about 9 oclock that same morn there was a den were Col people lives was on fire he said it was amusing to see them some had clothes in some did not and the firemens give them all good dunking Nexe wed Eve confremations to our church going to be fourteen confirm Miss Hatie Bowers is one of the number she want Selina to be not this year [….]

  The letter that follows reveals three interesting aspects of Addie’s life. First, once again she complains of not being paid for her work. Having claimed her as part of the family provides “Mother” with an excuse for failing to pay regular wages. Second, note her response to Rebecca’s request that Addie call her sister. The relationship exists on a complex continuum. Finally, observe her explanation for Aunt Chat’s claim that she is in love with Mr. Lee.

  New York Mar. [?] 1862

  My Own Darling & Beloved Rebecca

  It is now half past ten and all alone a hour ago you could not hear you ears for there was about 40 here I suppose you ask yourself what they was all doing here as usuall a surprise party this evening the gents are getting it up for Miss Bruce her last farwell party the family except to go Thursday P.M. again you ask why I was not one of the number my Darling I think that too much of a good thing good for nothing. This winter is been intirely to gay although I have not attend to everything has been given. Mother and Selina they have been trying to get me to go. Mr. Bodie is the head one geting it up and he seemed to be quite displeased because I would not go I cant help that wish I could. When billows roll and waves around me rise one thought of thee will clear the darkest skies.

  My Dearest to day I rec you very kind & Affectionate Epistle to night I feel in good spirit one things in your letter it gave me a great deal of pleasure you spoke of Aunt Chat writing to you I was much surprise as you was she think everything of you she speaks in the highest terms. Dear Rebecca dont you think its a great pity she neather read or write so she got me to pen those lines to you she spoke of me looking sad. Dear Rebecca I did not know my feeling was such that they would be observed in my continince [countenance] I do feel very sad sometime. Mother sometimes get very disagreeable it on account of father business and the family being so very large I want to leave here I tell her if I was to go I would make one less she will not hear of it then she think I dont love her she think right I like her very well I treat her according to my feelings but I cannot help it is the saying is I never forget what I remember my Dear. Do not say anything about it mother has not paid me for a month now and I want a great many things. As for work we have none aint likly to get any I dont think my sweet Rebecca you say let you share my sorrows I do not want to make you miserable […] if it your wish you shall share both now my Dearest here is nexe question you ask a favor and that is this to call you my sister and then you ask me if it will be agreeable O my Darling Darling you know it would it has been my wish for sometime I dare not ask my Dear I cannot find words to express my feeling towards you is all I can say I will address you as such. Do not wish Mrs. Nott send for me if she was different I would not mind living with her she beg me to come back to her in the spring my heart almost melted to her pleading and complaints they are right about our love for each other.

  […] Rebecca Mr. Lee letters I was very much please to rec his letter but not in the way that Aunt Chaty spoke I told her that was not what I done and neather was they my feelings she beg me to pen them to you I done so I do not wish to make any thing to appear Aunt Chat is a person like to magnify anything even Selina think I was very cold and indifferent with him my Darling you would be the last one that I would want to deceive in anything I dont think I have and I am I will not do it now if I have tell me. I want to tell you what he ask me if I love you better then I did him I told him yes I did [….]

  Addie

  Six months have passed since Addie’s last letter. It is not clear how long she has been in Hartford, but that may explain the absence of correspondence.

  The Hartford letters of this period are notes between visits. They give us a sense of the interaction between Rebecca and Addie when they are together. Addie mentions a picture that Rebecca has given her. Although the two friends exchanged their likenesses, I have been unable to locate any. The friends have been corresponding for three years now.

  Hartford Sept. 11, 1862

  My Darling & Beloved Sister

  How are you this beautiful morning? Well and in good spirit I hope. O Dear me it seem to me it has been a week since Ive seen you. I wonder if you have miss my society as much as I have miss yours? Sweet Sister I have perused your note again it make the six time I cannot [?] why you thought that I was indifferent towards you that A.M. My Darling I did not feel so. Although I felt sad that morning I awake before you I impress several kisses upon your lips and gave you a fond embrace. While I was in that position a shade of sadness stole over me and it has not been remove yet since I have been here I have tried to make myself agreeable but I daunt know wheather I have succeed are not [….] Dearest Sister I dont know how to express my thanks to you for those picture. My feelings are even now are indiscriable it shall be as pricious to me as the other thing you gave me. I am very much oblige to you for them. O Dear here come Gertrude well I must leave you breakfast is ready so good morning. My Darling for a while.

  9 oclock

  Here I am sweet one looking at you but not a smile on your face. I have kiss you and you wont even return one. Never mind I will untill the original come out here tomorrow morning. You must come my Dear for my sake and also come and disappoint Gertrude and her mother for they think you will not come. G play for me all the eve we spent a very pleasant one. Well my Dear I will hefter[have to] bring this to a close they will not like me being so long absence from them do come for you Little and Loving Sister.

  Addie

  Hartford Sept. 18, 1862

  My Own Truly Loved Sister

  I have been pening a few lines to Mr. Lee I just feel like doing the same to you so I made his letter very brief. Dear Sister you have been just an hour a way from me when I think how soon it will be when we will be seperated for weeks instead of hours its makes me realy sick. Dear Rebecca I dont know how it is I feel nearer to you now then ever before although you always been very very Dear to me. Since I have been here, I have injoyed your society very much so much so I hate to have you away from me one moment. Rebecca my Darling you cant imagine what pleasure I take in perrusing those notes it send such a thrilling sensation through me particular were you say I do indeed love you with my whole heart. My Dear you say I am
intirely ignorant of the depth of your love not quite my percious Darling I am little wise of it I cant help being so to see how much you do for me daily also the little token of love leaving out the large one Dearest Sister I hope you feeling will never again change towards me to think I was on edge of losing your purest love O how my heart leap for joy when I think I have regain it as strong as it was before perhaps stronger. Dear Sister I will not pen you a long note because I must wash my dress I am comeing their to see you last it offerd you so much pleasure you gave me such a affectionate look I cant resist coming. Good morning my Dear & Dearest Sister.

  Addie

  […] From your Darling Little Sister it tis good by

  Addie

  One sweet kiss

  From the letter that follows, one can surmise that Addie had been flirting with Rebecca’s brother, Nelson. Neither Rebecca nor her family approve. Primus scholar Barbara Beeching suggests that the family—unlike Rebecca—was concerned by the class differences between the two.

  Hartford Sept. 21, 1862

  My Dearest Sister

  I feel sad tonight for I dont think that you have got over the feeling you had towards me when you bid me good night it seem cold and would not even kiss me that something you have never done yet. My Beloved Sister why is it you will intertain those feelings towards me. This Eve I ask your forgiveness you say if I desire it I then ask to forget you say yes but how cold it was said and then I ask you to kiss me I thought your kiss indecate all. My Darling in the manner you left me I dont think you have thrust it from your mind. Dear Sister I wish that my feelings would become calous I should never feel as I do sometime I dont suppose I would if I did not love you as I do you know I often told you ther is no one I love as I do you not even the man I expect in the future to call husband why will you feel so towards me it is growing late I hate to retire without you. Dear Rebecca I would like to tell you one think please dont get angre at me for it is this, I shall not be as friendly with your brother as I have been I know you dont like it and I also understand another member of the family dont like it. You know I like your family very much and sometime like to in there society very much but for the future I will treat him as I would any other young man acquaintace I hope you will forgive what I have pen here I did not do it to hurt your feelings in no way I will have to close my light is giving out so I will have to return I hope you will feel better tomorrow you have a very bad cold I think you aught to take something for it good night it a sad night to me your Affectionate Sister.

  Addie

  Addie’s next letter does not tell us why she has had to destroy Rebecca’s note, but perhaps this is one reason that Rebecca’s letters to Addie are no longer available.

  Hartford Oct. 20, 1862

  My Dear Sister

  No doubt you have giving up all hope if rec a note or answers to some of yours its better late than never. I am not going to attend church today its also very unpleasant. I hope I will have the pleasure of being in your society this PM. and Eve. My Darling will you inform me what had came over the spirits of your dream last night you always make me feel sad when ever I see you so you know with me its second nature and I have many thing to accur to make me feel so. Last night I was dreaming of you its was neither pleasant[nor] unpleasant I awake with a my old companion by my I feel better now. My Beloved Sister I have again perruse the note I rec on 15th I am sorry that I have got to destroy it. Well is it must be. In it you ask me what did I think that morning I awake nothing of [?] you know my feelings on that point. One thing my fondest Sister you say you are bent and bond to leave your home dont my Dear Dear friend do anything that you will repent you have never had to go out in the world do for yourself Rebecca just think of her that you live see how she had been through. God forbid that ever you go through as much that your poor mother that growing old you ought not to leave she has no one to sooth her to supply her feeble heart to look up to her with a smile but her first born even her youngest how she treat her mother they know not the worth of a mother untill after they are gone perhaps they have many fault but my Dear you must over look all.

  […] Good Morning.

  Your Darling Sister Addie

  Throughout the letters, Addie occasionally compares her love for her male suitors to that for Rebecca.

  Hartford Oct. 28, 1862

  My Darling Sister

  It hard to have you leave me. I could not help sheding a tear after you had left It is so lonesome here when night comes.

  Rebecca you dont know what to make of me never mind the day will come someday you will know me entirely. I hope you seen Mr. Lee. Dear Sister I like him much better then I did he has truly been kind to me but he never be to me as you are [?] its been by you and you alone since I have been wondering how I could get another[job] I was counting the money I would rec. O my Darling Darling Sister I thank you kindly for it. I never can and never be able to express my gratitude to you [….]My Darling why did you say that I ought to chose a better person then you for a friend and Sister? I could never find any one would be able to walk in your old shoes. Look at that one that I called mother has she been a true friend to me No took a stranger to her bossom and even love him more then she did her own husband that lie in under the souls for her I hope I never be the means of killing anyone. My Dear Sister for my sake never pen those words again for you make me feel quite sad [….] so adviere[adieu] for a while you loving little Sister.

  I am just preparing to retire for the night 10 o’clock. Mr. Lee has been here I was rather surprise to see him. I was very sorry to think I was not able to go to the Allyn Hall. I hope it wont always be so good night my Sister.

  I hope it wont be long before I be able to lay in your arms.

  Addie

  It seems Addie’s early efforts to be a Christian and to impress Rebecca with her religious devotion have failed. Here she questions her faith, for she is no longer as devoted to her religious practices as she used to be. She also reports an important confession to Mr. Lee. In this and occasional letters that follow, Addie refers to herself as Aerthena and Rebecca as Stella. I have not been able to ascertain if they have any meaning beyond being pet names. Perhaps they were characters in a book the two had read.

  Hartford Dec. 9, 1862

  9 p.m.

  My Darling Sister

  Just feeling like pening a few lines to thee I thought I would do it on the umpulse of the moment. I was very much please to see you this P.M. you seem to be in such a hurry I hardly had time to look at you I have finish facing my bonnet if I have time I will call to see you tomorrow I hope Thursday will soon come then I will have the extrem pleasure of seeing you again. Dear Sister I dont know what you think about what going to pen it tis this—we are in each other society a very little what is the course of it perhaps it is your school that monopolizes you time? I sometime things aint like it use to be what do you think about it My Darling.

  My Dear I dreampt of you last night I dont sleep good I am so cold I miss you very much and also you feather bed. I took a hot iron up to bed and warm the bed all overjump right into. I kept little warm by that means I wish that we could sleep together this winter I would like it very much would you not Stella. I injoy those doughnut very much I was little hungre when Bell brought them.

  Dear Rebecca I dont know what Mr. Lee will think I would not let him kiss me for nearly two weeks so tonight I have ans the long note he sent me this P.M. he inform me he wrote it in your Schoolroom. So he said in his note that I owed him great many kisses so I thought I would let him know I told him I did not like his kisses. I dont know how he will feel about it I thought I might as well tell him as to think it dont you think so my only and Dearest Sister.

  I could not stand it any longer. Dear Rebecca in the note he says he will meet me at the Church I dont understand him did he tell you anything about when he call today. He is a funny man. I have not care about seeing him this week I dont care I love you that dearly now My Darling I will try and ans you so long des
ire letter. I am afraid that you will be some disappointed on religion I dont feel as I use to and I have tried do as you [….] my mind is far from it.

  Sometime I feel very very unhappy I have also neglect reading the Bible regular and I think that has been the main point. My Dearest Dearest Sister I think sometime when I am in your society that you dont seem [?] as much pleasure as you once did is that so & my Dear you must tell me if so [….]

  Mrs. Nott is getting[ready] for bed so I will bring my missive to aclose. Mr. Lee says he want to get religion I hope he will get it I dont think he is very happy I ask him sometime ago the ans he made it was me that worried him I hope he will worry in the right way.

  […] I must come to a brief close by biding you a sweet good night and pleasant dreams I remain your Affec and Loving Sister Aerthena

  except a sweet kiss

  The following letters were written during the height of the Civil War, during which there was much activity in Connecticut. Regiments from the area were fighting. Harriet Beecher Stowe was a resident in the city. Still, Addie makes very little mention of the war or any related political events. Given that Rebecca’s family seems to have been deeply involved in civic activities, it is significant that the two friends do not find it necessary to discuss such issues in their correspondence.

  A year has passed since the last recorded letter from Addie to Rebecca. Again, perhaps this is because the women are living in the same city. In fact, Addie is now living in Rebecca’s neighborhood. The following letter contains one of the most explicit passages concerning the nature of the physical relationship between the two women. Addie tries to convince a resistant Rebecca to acknowledge what is happening between them.

  Hartford Jan. 8, 1864

  My Truly Loved Sister

  Although its but a few moments since I have left you I thought while you are discharging your duty I will pencil a few thoughts to thee. No doubt you would like to know how I got home nicely that loving imbrace kept my spirits up untill I reach home. I spent a very very pleasant day.