Beloved Sisters and Loving Friends

by Farah Jasmine Griffin

  Addie and Rebecca’s friendship permitted the two women to see themselves in each other’s eyes. This assured them of their strengths of character, of their gifts and talents, and of the quality of their love for each other.

  In the following letter, Addie encourages Rebecca to stay in Maryland because it would be very difficult for her to return home, given her exposure to different people and places. Addie does this in spite of her concern that should Rebecca follow her advice, their own relationship would suffer. Her admiration for her friend is also quite apparent here.

  Hartford Nov. 16, 1865

  My True & only Dear Sister

  What a pleasure it would be to me to address you My Husband and if so do you think for one moment you would be where you are with out me? No, never. To my surprise you send me a ans sooner then I expected how delighted I was even those around me could see that I was. It come to hand 3 oclock P.M. I work with much lighted heart then I have all this week.

  This morn. I told Aunt Emily I would accompany her to meeting this eve if she went I soon change my mind this P.M. I ask H this A.M. if she would let me send two or three lines to you in her letter she said no of course she did not mean it. Now I will have the pleasure of sending a letter instead H.

  Let me perruse her letter from you I have been thinking if you did return home again I dont think you would be contented you are rec what you soul have been thursting for you never could get it here that is to be in a society of intelligence & interlectual people I know that you injoy it I only wish that I was their to see you what is the use to be amongst the ignorance all the time now my Darling Sister I will ans yur letter I must stop and purruse it again.

  Dear Sister you say you hope I will do well in your absence I will try to do so for your sake you say absence strengthens friendship and our love will not grow cold mine will never I will always love you and you only if you were to remain there how pleasant it would be for me to come there too I would like to very much or were ever else you are station. Mr. Tines was speaking of you yesterday saying when you return home that I must meet you in Phila. I suppose he will see that I will get there by that.

  That lady you speak of Miss Williams give her my love in return and say to her if you please that if she was to see me she might fall out in love with the picture I feel sorry about her and her friend. I know it will not be so with us we have loved each other to long. I see you like Baltimore very much you speaking of the St. door steps & walk being so clean it remind me of Phila for they are just so. Sister I hope Miss W will not walk you to much if she does I will have to send her a few lines so you found someone that you was acquainted. Eliza will be delighted is she married lady

  Dear Rebecca your retiring at 8 change to 12 oclock what make you do so you will wear yourself out in so doing. We are having beautiful weather today [….] H was saying you will be sending word that you intend to Mary having so many gent calling I shall have to think so myself [….] Miss Eliza & Mr. Hall Brook accompany Mr. Tines & myself to the Methodist church. Mr. Tines was not feeling well he had told me twice to give his kindest regards to you and please to hear that you have or did arrive there safe he also said he spent a very pleasant time in your society.

  I get along very nicely to the Dye House I was sewing nearly all day yesterday and all this morn we was paid last night I rec $19.00 you dont know how please I felt Dear Sister just look back $4.00 per month what a jump up I did not walk up Aunt Em only take $2.00 a week from me she said if provision was not so high she would not take anything H $2.50 dont mention it for Aunt Em dont want her to know it dont you think she is kind Miss E Saunders gave me some blue veils to make me a bonnet. Mrs. S want to make it for me she is also going to give me some flowers for it they are very kind Mrs. S think you wont write to her I told her you would when you get setled do write to her my Dear Rebecca and disappointed.

  I took dinner with Eliza Sunday Sarah accompany me there of […] I must tell you what foolishness John Rodney wants when the 29 reg return of cause they reception will be at the City Hall while they are eating to have Colt Band to play for them he is allmost a fool if not quite he also wants 36 gallons of oysters for them he says that they wants this Reg rec better than any has been rec yet now Dearest & Darling Sister I believe I have pen you all the news if I could only see you and have one kiss would I be happy H has not return home and almost eleven she is with John Francis Aunt Emily and rest of the send there love even to mayor Mr. Tines is going to spend one week in Hartford then he is going to see his parents I hope they will be something on to the Allyn Hall then he is going to bring the strings nexe week he came down yesterday and got the [?] so to get thee more for it he would like to see you about somethings he says him Aunt Emily having great time with me and you are not her to take my parts do write to Aunt Em for she would like to have you she says she would like to have you.

  I had Jim in my lap this week Mrs. Primus says he miss you very much he keep following her around the house.

  […] I must bid you good night I only wish that I could sleep with you tonight I have miss you very much how long am I going to be without you. Aunt Emily sends her love to you and will write to some of the day good night my Dearest love one more kiss.

  Your ever dear Sister

  Addie

  This next letter is one of the occasions where Addie implies a comparison between Mr. Tines and Rebecca. Instead of claiming that the relationships are fundamentally different, as she will do later on, here she suggests competition between the two. At this time she prefers her relationship with Rebecca. The two young women have been corresponding for over five years.

  Hartford Nov. 19, 1865

  My Dear & Only Sister

  It is a rainy Sunday and not one of the family is out I feel very lonely this day all this A.M. I have been reading but never the less my thoughts is been with you if I could see you a few moment how happy I would be. O why have you left me alone no one to love me an give me a fond imbrace how I long for yours.

  I dont suppose I will see Mr Tines for I am little incline to think that he is afraid of the rain. If you could come I would not care. Friday Eve I spend quite pleasantly two of the girls from the shops came down to the house I took the liberty of taking them in No 20[the Primus home]. Several was in their while I was injoying the sweet notes there came a knock at the door who should it be but Eliza. I was about to ask her in when she told me she brought a lady to see me I look and it was Miss Ward from NH I was very much please to see her. They spent a hour with me she also wants me to come down and make her a visit this winter.

  Mr. Hayes is coming down here Tuesday. As soon as I get my guitar fix he is going to give me some lessons. O my I must tell you Miss Ward inform me that Mr. Muse is going to NH to preach he has[expected] their call they going to give him $800.00 they are perfectly delighted with him [….] I do feel realy high spirited it is most night I have not made my toilet so I must bid you adviere until you hear from me again.

  Addie

  This letter is most interesting for its description of the return of the Twenty-ninth Regiment to Hartford. The unit, formed late in 1863, “was one of the first regiments to enter the Confederate capital before returning to Connecticut to be discharged.”3 Although Hartford was a northern city, with a long-standing free black community, it was not free of racism, either institutional (blacks were denied the vote until 1876) or social—a fact made all the clearer when the city’s black citizens turned out to celebrate the return of the Twenty-ninth.

  [n.d.]

  My Darling Sister

  It has been some days since I have call I was delighted to hear from you yesterday you have no idea what pleasure you give me every week.4 Dear Sister I do feel very lonely they all gone out but Sarah & myself. Aunt Emily has gone up to the church a festival there the proceed to aid the sick.

  […] Been nothing but excitement nexe to colored people for once can say they have had the city. The 29 & 31 regiments arrived here this A.M. one at 8 a
nd the other at 11 o’clock they did look hard enough they have been coming from New Orleans two months who do you think has come to life [?] Robison he look very thin and to get home to his family they was telling they had nothing to eat for two days. Last eve they was expected here Mr. Rodney has made a perfect fool of himself he would not let just sick ones into the Hall last night.

  Henrietta very angre. I could not help but to laugh to hear her go on. I went up to meeting with Aunt Em every other person we met had niggar in his or her mouth they was so mad to think the white was compel to make a fuss over them. On our return home some of them said niggar to us Aunt Em ask them if that what they had for there supper. If they did could not of relish it.

  The Buckingham riffle factory and the light gards receive them the colored people[came] from all direction one of them walk along hugging his lady in the st. Henrietta ask Mr. Smith5 if we could go out to see them he said of course. We was gone from 9 to 12. I heard this P.M. that it was the fullest regiment has come home yet [….] I expect they will have a lively meeting nexe Sunday A.M. to the Methodist I think I shall go if nothing happens.

  Madam Rumor6 says that Henrietta is married to John Francis that good for nothing man. Mr. Green his recoverer is rather doubt- full he aught to linger a long while to reflect. Aunt Emily has return home the festival is postpone untill nexe week. Mr. Ridney is going to have a ball nexe week the ticket will be $5.00 I guess will not many attend it Mr. Seth Terry is dead Mrs. Julia Willson is here looking after Mr. H Jones I hope she will get some of the money [….]

  Henrietta wish me to give her love to you what did she write to you about me do tell me will [….] Dear Sister I have you letter open before me I carry each letter in my pocket untill I rec another and perruse between 12 & 1 every day.

  I dont thank Miss C hugging you lip so closely I would tell her so if I was there too. I expect you are having fine time I would like to be there injoying it with you my Dear Sister. I am glad to hear that you are please with Mr. Graham I wish you would contribute to that paper you must tell me about that Emancipation meeting. Dear Sister when you get settle you will send for me to come down.

  […]Mr. Tines came last Sunday and we went over to Levina and found Charly very sick and Mrs. Fuller is up here she has a son in the 29th[Regiment] she is not so loving to me as use to be things has changes. Dear Rebecca you ask how I am going to have my bonnet made with a cap crown and plain front and white roses in side and a strip of red velit. I am going after it tomorrow night. The Sag Harbor boat is done runing made her last strip Monday [….]

  Dear Sister the week that Mr. Tines stop back that I will become more attached to him & time will tell. I am little angre at him now last Sunday he told me that he would be down here Wednesday that A.M. I got a note that instead coming at noon him and Mr. Carter would come in the Eve at 7 oclock they was going to lay over both boat was here then of course I look for them no one came. I thought of every thing I had a note ans to the one he gave me Sunday thinking he would come down the nexe day he did not both of the boat went to get the regiment and the Granit left here this A.M. at ½ 10 oclock I heard they want to make her regular trips so they will be up tomorrow he might of staid back this Eve I have not seen him since Sunday. I dont care wheather I see him.

  I shall certainly care for Jim for your sake only I feel very sorry for Miss Williams and her friend I hope nothing will ever separate us. Dearest Friend and only true one give my love to Miss Williams and tell her I should be very much please to have her write to me I should like to know what going on in Baltimore after my dear Sister leave the city I would like to see her also if she should write give her my address my love if you will not care about it. I forgot it impossible to keep the bonnet Mrs. S made for me[for your] return but I will try and keep the one that Bell untill you return if you think you ever will you must excuse all mistake from you loving sister.

  Addie

  Hartford Dec. 1, 1865

  My Dearest Sister

  I am greatly disappointed not hearing from you today. You have been so kind to write me every week since your absence until this week I went to the Post office this eve hoping to rec a letter I cannot express my feelings when told there was none for me.

  I was up streets today I stop in to see Eliza she inform me that she had rec a letter from you Wednesday she seem to be perfectly delighted. You wonder my dear Sister of my being out I am not at work at present we was discharged last eve no more work the business is dull with them I could cried when he told me I thought I was sure of work all winter. Rebecca dont you think my words are true that is this either a feast or a famine.

  Monday I expect to go to Mrs. S to sew. Mrs. Couch wants me one or two days also Mrs. Doughlass wants some sewing Mrs. Swans is going to interceed for me also I hope I will get along this winter.

  […] I do not know what to think of H she has been acting so disagreeable ever since Monday night. It make it so unpleasant for me we have to sleep together but I am through working with her she is going to service soon as she get a place [.] She is quite angre about leaving the Dye House she could of been in a place only there in the family and had her $3.00 per week.

  Rebecca I must tell you Mrs. S made my bonnet I wish you could of taken a peep at it I did not wear it last Sunday I remain at home all day I have taken it all to peices and Bell is going to make to tomorrow for me Mrs. S ask me how I like it I told how I did like it. She made several excuses about the frame I guess Miss S dont quite like that I let her make it. Its the first I can assure you the last.

  Mrs. Buclah is going to break up and go to her husband he has got well again I dont think if I was in her place if I could trust my life with him. She says she feel little afraid too she expect to leave latter part of new week. My beloved Sister I have dreampt of you two nights if I could only see you once more and one fond imbrace how long will it be thus. I have made number of calls my friends appear to be please to see me some of them thinks I am looking very well.

  […] O Rebecca what do you think Madam Rumour say that Mr. Tines and I are ingage what do you think of that. Mr. H Jones came up this in rather last night in the Granit I have not seen my friend since last Saturday eve the boat got in about 6:P.M. and he came down to see me he accompany me to Mrs. Saunders he intend to go down on the boat and he got left. On our way home we same across the Park and he heard the boat whistles he bid me good night I look around and could not see anything but his coattail but his running was all in vain. I am getting sleepy so I must close hoping to hear from you tomorrow good night.

  Dearest Sister I shall call soon

  Addie

  This undated letter from Rebecca directs her family to send letters to Mr. Thomas’s address, thereby suggesting that she is in Royal Oak. The letter is probably from November or December of 1865.

  Dear Parent and Sister

  I expect you will think I’m writing a very lengthy epistle, and I think so myself. However, I’m about to stop now for I have nearly exhausted my train of thought. I shall then begin a letter to Jane and perhaps another.

  Have you been for my picture yet and how does it look and what do you think of having others taken and disposed of as I proposed? I will forward the money when I find it is safe to do so. I should like one given to Addie on her birthday of the 21st of this month, and also to Henrietta on hers, the 28th. However, I do not want them to know of it until they rec. them. If you can get one for Aunt Em and Aunt Bashy7 by Christmas or New Years do so.

  If you desire to send anything to me at any time while I’m here, send it in the care of Mr. Jno. T. Graham and he will forward it to me. I am to hold a weekly correspondence with him Have any of my old school bills been settled yet?

  I hope the school is getting along well, look out for your bills, Bell.8 Remember me to all kind and inquiring friends. Tell them where I am and my future prospects. Give my love to all the family connexions, and accept the largest and best to yourselves.

  I remain your affectionate Daug
hter & Sister, Rebecca.

  Direct in the care of Mr. Chas. Thomas, Royal Oak, Talbot County, Md.

  PS. 6 P.M. I rec’d. your long interesting letter & one from Addie this P.M. I’m delighted to rec. them.

  Addie reveals an aspect of Rebecca’s relationship with her sister Henrietta. When Henrietta expresses a desire for education, Addie interprets it as sibling rivalry.

  Dec. 3, 1865

  My Dear & Dearest Sister

  At present no one at home but Sarah & I. Mr. Sand has not return Aunt Em and Tommy has gone to Church.

  […] Yesterday for the first I went in to your home by the request of your mother and spent a few hours how lonely I was in spite of all efforts my eyes would fill with tears. Jim was laying off at his ease he look fm[e]ly. Doubltless he would like to see his mistress.

  Bell gave these letter they rec from you that morning and also one from Nelson.9 Dear Sister I must tell you about the style I accompany H to church this A.M. for the purpose of hearing Mr. Daughlass which we had that pleasure some of the ladies are looking very gay Eliza has come out I have never seen her look so well her bonnet is drub and trim with blue velit and also a loose sack coat I hardly knew her when she came in only by her walk you did not send her your address.

  Troff Johnson is here in fact he has been here over a week exhibiting a magicalistic to the Methodist and also a festival the Methodist want to liquidable a debt so they are having festival for that purpose it will be again tomorrow night I have not attended any of them. Mr. Conerver festival prove a failure.

  […] Some of the people Col and White are making there fortune of the soldiers. Mrs. Haris had made $300.00 and also have eight of them to board she sent word to me by her sister this P.M. to come and take supper with them they was going to have turkey. I escept of the invitation when I got there I was inform I was to eat after the boarders was through I wish to be excuse and came home to the first table I injoyed very much I did not tell Aunt Emily my reason for coming home.