Beloved Sisters and Loving Friends

by Farah Jasmine Griffin

  Dear Rebecca Thomas has just handed me his gold pen to write with I like it very much it writes very easy I would like to own one. you speaking about your injunctions being carried out I have notice that I have been kind care for by your Mother & Sister I did not know that it had been you own. Miss Elizabeth Sanders rec your letter and was quite please I hear I think of going there this week, you ask what is the matter with Bell & Julia on account of Moses she loves him when Bell was in Boston she had a good time and she hardly see him now Mrs. Ives sets him out nicely and said that no daughter of hers would go with him Mr. Ives knows but wont says I suppose he is to much like himself. I was told yesterday that Mr. Aldridge told your Mother that he had not seen any young lady he loved as he did Bell by all appearances that his love is return for they are together every night even to Saturday night I would get very tired of that is it was me and my friend. I rec a letter from him Thursday he was quite well he inquired very particular after your health.

  […] Rebecca you say that you lie awake in bed it is the same with myself I even wake up in the night and keep awake for an hour at a time my whole thought dwell upon you sometime once in a while Mr. Tines. I am sleeping on a feather bed too and together with Sarah I keep pretty warm this winter.

  […] I give Thomas you message and felt quite disappointed for he would like have one letter from you wish me to give you a description of his wife I like her very well she is very lively I dont think she is fit to be a wife [….] she think every thing of her husband she is a half a head taller and she is the color of Harriet Rime and the look of it in part that her hair may be as long as Mrs. Aiker she wears a net all the time Aunt Emily tell me that Thomas is going to have her study I am afraid it will be quite a task for she dont care about books she has been here nearly two weeks it will be Monday and I only seen a book in her hand but once I ask her if she did not like to read her ans was sometime. I think I have said enough [….]

  The week Mr. Tines was here we spent the eve with Bell so Thomas came in and we was setting together I like to hear him talk he is very interesting we was talking considerable and I caught Mr. T looking at me twice so Bell inform me that he was looking at me all the time. He did not[know] that Thomas was married at that time so he write and wanted to know if any other Gentleman stood nearer to me then he did I had to smile when I read it.

  Thomas call me his Sister he would look upon as such. The Methodist had a festival last week two night got to fighting and four was taken to the watch house. I suppose you have reopen your school how are you getting along and by the time you have a full school, will you tell me in your nexe the age of youngest and oldest dont put your self to much trouble [….]

  Aunt Emily I think loves Thomas better than she does Sarah for she show it I think she likes males better then female I think he think good deal of her.

  My Beloved Sister I have wrote all that would be of interest Bell Sands to me tell you again that you have a cousin she speaks of you often I wonder what make her? I hope to hear from you soon the family their love to you

  except my best love from your

  Affectionate Sister

  Addie

  except a kiss

  Hartford Jan. 16 1866

  My Dearly Beloved Sister

  […] You ask me what I wore that the Mason Banquet I wore my new dress and white flowers in my head Bell also wore the same I dance a little I find my head will not allow me to indulge too freely before long I will have to cease altogether. In reference to Henrietta I am afraid she will not be able to inform you My Dear Sister we see each other very little she know nothing about my health but My Darling I will inform you all.

  You dont seem to understand about Thomas wife I think you can judge better for yourself when you see her you ask if he seem to manifest much affection at times I rec as much from him as she does and his Mother more then any of us. She is very agreeable indeed she has been very kind to me. She inform me that she spend $26.70 in twenty months and did not have to pay any bread out of it she says what ever she wanted she got cake or candy & ice cream she has not much clothes she dont wear any night dress. I could not sleep in bed with my husband if I had any I know you would not my fastidious Sister [….]

  You ask me how I come to repeat my visit to Eliza I will tell you how you wish me to give the Album on Christmas day I done so on the 26 I rec your letter with a note inclose in it to her I was going up then so I stop in and gave it to her. You ask who do I mean by Mrs. Bell Sands [?] Thomas wife she send the message to you she likes you hearing your family speaking so frequently of you. When Bell Primus is in here we have to say No 20 Bell. We have great deal of fun in here sometime. Bell brought me in a very nice little cake Saturday I eat it yesterday it was very nice I have not had my piece of turkey yet.

  Dear Sister I am not greiving after for Mr. Tines my love is not so much for him for that is his last letter inform me that he will be in NY this week I heard the Granite is going to run to NH soon he told Bell that he was going to try to come to Hartford before the winter over [….]

  Dear Rebecca dont say anything I would not be at all surprise if Mr. Tines want me to marry him nexe fall and what have I got nothing if I had been dealt rightly might of had money now so it is [….]

  The following letter is especially interesting because Addie acknowledges that she loves and wants to be with Rebecca, then announces that she is glad Rebecca approves of her relationship with Mr. Tines. She has decided that each relationship meets different needs.

  Addie’s refusal to attend a concert at Hartford’s Allyn Hall because of a minstrel show is also relevant.

  Hartford Jan. 21 1866

  My Dearest and Loving Sister

  I wish that I could exchange pen & paper for a seat by your side & reclining in your arm as I have in days gone by. Dear Rebecca for the first since you have been gone I attended SS Mr. Cross seem to be much please to see me he said he was glad to see so many out. The lesson was chap 13 of St. John first to the 15 verses nexe Sunday Mat 5 first to the 13 and wish all the classes commit to memory. Aunt Emily just inform me that it would SS concert [….]

  Tomorrow eve there will be a debating at Talcott Church Mr. Fred Cross & Mr. G Robison. Miss A Cross read. Mrs. Mary Randle has composition if nothing happens I must attend. Yesterday A.M. Mr. Asher ask me if I would go to Allyn Hall I did not go for they has the minstrils [….]

  Dear Rebecca I have been in little trouble this week I broke Aunt Emily butter dish and I know felt very sorry about it. She did not say much or I either. Went on so for two days so this A.M. she say if I did not want to speak to her I need not for she did not want any one to speak if they did not wish to. She also say she judge people by that way. She made feel very bad for she ought to know by this time that I think a great of her we are good friends now I shall try and keep so for the future.

  Last Thursday A.M. I went to see Bell I was speaking of you so Bell says come up stairs I will give you Becca letter so when got up there I did not notice how B ask for the letter I know your Mother was not incline to let her have it so she went in the bedroom I told Bell I would not read if she got it. I thought it was very funny for she always wanted me to read her letters and even took the pains to bring them in to me for to peruse. Your Mother brought it I would not take it at first the reason she would not give it to Bell she spoke imprudent to her. She had to insist upon me taking it. At the mean time Mr. Jones came up and wanted to[see] if it was a gentleman letter I hesitate to peruse she said or no. She said I thought as much of you if you was a gentleman she also said if either one of us was a gent we would marry. I was quite surprise at the remark Mr. James & I had quite a little argument. He says when I found some one to love I will throw you over my shoulder. I told I[him] I have unshaken confidence in your love. I do sincerely believe him never. You Mother also agreed with me. What do you think of that? He has no Idea that someone is now paying there distress to me I have not heard them for a week.9

  […] Madam Rumor says th
at Emma and her husband is parted we dont know how true it is she goes home once in a while I believe she is still at Mrs. Carters I dont know what to think of your dream I have thought of it quite often

  Dearest friend & only Sister I will never doubt your love for me again you say you put my picture under your pillow I wish I had the pleasure laying along side of you. I am delighted to think you are still pleas, with your boarding place. Dear Sister I am very much delighted to hear you say that you like Mr. Tines if I should marry him I hope to have some please and comfort for he likes you very much. I thank you kindly for informing me about your school I hope you will speak of your school quite often I would like to hear. Will you tell me who is Emily?

  When we was going to SS we stoped in No 20 I had a nice time with Jim he grows finely he is so fat. My Darling Sister I must tell you my dream I had last Wedn I thought I had to marry Mrs. Jackson she was determine that I did not know what I should do I did not wanted to get to Mr. Tines ears I was dress in black I had my back hair curl and front as I always wear it we went Church I forgot pure white coif frings in it finger deep that was tied around my head Mrs. J and I in one carriage and my step father in the other and when we got in Church it was crowded when we came out I got in the carriage I did not know anything until home I found myself on the lounge with my dress unfasten then I commence cry continued until I awoke I was very glad it was all a dream I also dreampt of you two night one night I was standing and seeing you caress another lady and not me how bad I did feel[page missing]

  Hartford Feb. 1 1866

  My Darling & Adopted Sister

  […] You say dear Sister that your brains are so full of thoughts no wonder you forget I do wish that I had some of your thoughts I could get along better in this world then I do My loving Sister those beautiful lines you pen does respond to them and ever will I am glad you have such bright hopes of meeting us again It seem to me that you have been gone six months I heard that the society has Adopted you as their Child [….] I do my dear occupy your seat and H attend occasional I also use your Hymn Book you say you hold me responsible for it I will take the best of care of it I do not care about going out in the eve I rather spend it with you. I did not attend the debating meeting when the time came I did not want to go out Bell Pretended to be provoke at my not going with them. Dear Sister I do not like to intrude on lovers they are very much devoted to each other you ought to see them.

  […] I dreampt of you last night It was a singular dream I dont rest very good at night Sarah is my bed fellow and awful one at that she is not satisfied at kicking me she grate her teeth it makes me very nervous to hear her. I would like to have had the pleasure of dining with you last Sunday I have not had any Chicken pie this year. I hope dear Sister it will be pleasant for your sake, last Monday P.M. Bell & I spen with your Mother & Bell I also staid to tea second time since you have been gone Jim go in my lap as soon as I went in remain there almost tea time and then did not want to get down then he is a fine cat. Our cat is around grow finely you wont know him. Henrietta is quite well I have not seen her this week I go to see her once in a while […] I wish that I was going to be with you tonight I would like to pillow my head on your bosom good night

  Addie

  Friday 5 P.M.

  Dear Sister I have a few moments to spare I thought I would devote them to you I have been ironing all this P.M. not been done long this A.M. I accompany Bell Sands up the street something for Thomas. On our way up there a murder was commited in the barber shop under the City Hotel you remember the concert […] in Mulberry street the man that keep it short another in the temple. I think it is dreadful to think of it he tried to get away they caught him after a little search.

  […] I will be glad when Mrs. Crowell will want me for I think Mr. Sands is getting tired of something too Bell Sands notice. Aunt Emily has change she says she wants to go home this week on Friday but her Husband does not want her to go untill he goes no one know when that will be perhaps not this winter that my thoughts I will not belong out of my bed this night its rather dull good night

  Aertheana

  Talcott Street Church, where the Primus family worshiped.

  Feb. 12 Monday

  Dear Sister

  […] There was a funeral at Talcott St. Church this P.M. A Plato died Saturday A.M. 5 o’clock leaving a babe two weeks old I heard that she died for want of good carc leaves a large family of children only seven I should think Mr. Plato would feel bad. Mr. Cirben and Gerry Smith are married gone to Boston on a wedding tour she must been in want of a husband. When I came home this eve I found a letter from Mr. Pines he wish me to give his kindest regard

  Dear Sister direct your letters to him No 97 Grand St.10 in the care of Mrs. Hannie Histring. Bell Sands is sick; they say she has been out of head they lay it to me. Aunt Emily laugh I dont think she is very sick you know though smile of hers nothing like having a kind Husband My darling Sister I cant write you a very lengthy missive for I got to get back to make Miss M bed. […] I have not read your report yet Miss Wells has it yet I believe now I must go I will again soon you must not punish me for this letter they all send their to you

  except my best

  love from your

  loving Affectionate Adopted Sister

  Addie

  After the Civil War, black women had less competition from Irish women for domestic work. Working-class white women were moving into factory work. Addie begins to work for the Reverend John T. Huntington, a professor of Greek at Trinity College.

  Hartford Feb. 18 1866

  My Dear Sister

  Here I am in a new home I feel realy low spirited I sew all the week to Mrs. Saunders. Last Thursday when I return home I rec a message left by Mrs. C Jefferson. I came here to see her. A Miss Williams that was here is going to leave and would like to have me come here. They say the work is not hard and Mr. Huntington gives $2.50 a week. I thought of it and something told me try it. The girl at Mrs. Crowell is not a going to leave until the boat commence to run. I am afraid I will not get along Mrs. H is rather a hard person to get along with [….]

  I heard to day that Mrs. Wright promise her Sister Mrs. Plato that she would take her baby and now Mr. W will not let his wife take it aint that mean poor Hatie has her hands full [….]

  What do you think Levina is in the family way again nearly five months Mrs. Saunders told me they are going to break up and go to Boston to live this spring I go very seldom to see them I got so I dont want to see any of them Mrs. S and Levina went to the flora festival last Wednesday eve Mrs. S did try so hard to have me all night last week E too. I love my home too well to stay from it when you not here last Friday eve Bell & her beau spent the eve with us we played domino until ten and after they was gone I ans Mr. Tines letter I did not write a very long letter for they all retire and you know Mr. Sands is very choice of his gas. Tom Saunders is in NY went down to meet his lady love Miss Brown from Phila. They say she is very pretty E show me set of studs made out of hair that she them a present to T there a beautiful I dont think they cost less then $16.00 Mr. P made his wife a handsome present of a pair of earings they talk of going to NY when Mr. T return and take Minnie with them. She is very rough child nothing refine about her—in fact no refinement in any of them [….] A grand fancy dress ball coming off nexe week on the 21 have not heard whether Bell is going or not Henrietta expect to go I went in there after I put the children to bed and found Mr. John Francis in there. Now dear Sister I shall ans your kind and very interesting missive Miss Usher must be a very congial correspond then tenor of her letters are very much like yours I suppose you will become the very best of friends in time. I am please to here she is geting along so well now in her school. I think they making preparations for a picnic I am glad to hear that you school in improving I would dearly love to hear them sing. You say I never spoke in any my of letters about you rules I have never have seen them I have ask twice and I am done asking My Dear I have not seen a Anglo but ever since you have been g
one your Mother dont take them and I am to poor [….]11

  Bell Sands wants to go home now because I have come here to live and her Husband dont want her too until he is ready to go I think she is very fond of the Gents society they all make nothing in kissing her. I dont think Aunt Em has much opinion of her daughter in law.

  […] Henrietta is in little trouble again the people she is living with there house is going to be sold at public auction on Tuesday they do not know what they are going to do she the Lady I mean did not know until she read it in the paper H says she is crying all the time he has lived intirely too fast now he see the fruits of it even now he has every thing that the market can afford [….]

  Rebecca, questioning the nature of Addie’s relationship with Bell Sands, seems to suggest she is beneath Addie and therefore not worthy of her friendship. Given the difference in status between Addie and Rebecca, it seems in Rebecca’s eyes that class does not prohibit friendships from forming but questions of morality do. Rebecca recognizes that though Addie is not economically middle class, she has middle- class aspirations. Addie’s response also implies Rebecca’s expression of jealousy over the growing relationship between Addie and Bell Sands.

  Addie comes to a very important decision in this letter. She decides to demand pay for her work from all her employers, “colored” or “white.”

  Hartford Feb. 25 1866

  My Dear Sister

  […] I am please to hear you speak so well of you school and also give you such satisfactions I am very much oblige to you for the five dolls now my cloak will be all paid for it. I have paid twelve already now I will enjoy wearing it. I suppose I had no business telling Bell she need not tell you for the future I will attend to my own business.

  Dear Rebecca you ask how is Thomas wife and I are such good friends. She has always trusted me well I have never told you that I loved her for I dont and neither do I think she is my equal for there is no refinement about her and as for intelligence she has none and dont mention intellectual powers. If others treat her well and she has the impression that she like and so far is live by her Husband family and relatives I dont think an outsider has got any right show any sign of superiors or dislike. My Darling I have ans your question as well as I can this way when we meet it will be understood better.