Joel looks to me. "You know about the bondage, right?"
Oh God. So much for professionalism. My cheeks turn red. Then it's my chest. I'm pretty sure I'm on fire.
"He still hasn't broken in the riding crop I bought him." Joel winks as he stands up. "Just FYI."
Kit stands up. "Fuck. It's like you're trying to win a Most Obnoxious crown."
"Shit, you know how hard I have to try with Tom Steele around? Sinful Serenade is playing after us."
"You make Tom look like an amateur."
Joel waves away the compliment/insult with mock humility "You don't mean that." He smiles and takes another step towards the door. "Come on. Don't tell me you don't want to see your boy toy on stage?"
Mal leans in to whisper, "You want to come to that party?"
I nod.
"You want to come in my bed after?"
Fuck yes.
Mal doesn't kiss me goodbye.
It makes sense—we're friends with benefits, not lovers. We're in front of the rest of the band. I'm here as Lacey the music video director, not Lacey, the babe on Mal's arm.
Even so, my lips miss his.
I push it out of my mind as I collect my backstage pass and head for the main area of the club. It's a packed night, but I know my way around a concert crowd. I use the break between sets to squeeze to the front.
By the time the lights dim and Joel bounces on stage, I'm in the second row. Not that there are rows.
This is a packed show. The crowd is a mass. And they're already screaming and bouncing with excitement.
I let my eyes flutter closed and I soak in the atmosphere. As much as I love music, especially Dangerous Noise music, it's not what brings me to concerts.
It's the energy. The excitement. That feeling that I'm someplace where everyone loves what I love, where everyone is celebrating what I'm celebrating.
I push between a tall guy and his high-heeled girlfriend and grab onto the railing for dear life.
Kit moves to the far side of the stage with this easy, steady gate. His gaze goes to the right side of the second floor. That must be the VIP section where all the girlfriends are hanging out.
The crowd gets louder as Ethan moves on stage. He winks at the audience, holding up his guitar to play the opening riff of Tied Up With You.
The drums and bass kick in.
Then Mal steps on stage, all tall and sexy and in control.
The woman next to me squeals. A dozen women squeal.
Mal!
Oh my God, Mal.
I love you, Mal.
MARRY ME!!!
He steps up to the mic just in time to catch the opening line.
Come whisper in my ear…
Then he's singing with that sexy, breathy voice of his. Playing his rhythm guitar. Looking out at the audience with this amazing mix of I'm sexy and I know it and baby, you can save me.
Damn, the screams are deafening.
Every woman here wants Mal.
None of them can have him.
He's mine.
It's only for two months, but he's still mine.
15
Mal
The second we finish our Garbage cover, Ethan steps up to his mic. He smiles at the crowd with his usual I'm so fucking excited to be here playing for you. It's too bad we're almost done smile.
But he doesn't launch into his usual banter.
He stops.
I move forward to catch the nuances in his expression.
The stage lights are too bright. I can't see anything but the crowd. Faces come in to focus. A tall guy who looks a lot like Ron Weasley. A woman with bright pink hair.
Lacey.
She's in the front row.
Her brown eyes are wide with wonder. And they're on me. Right now, I'm the center of her universe.
Every person in this room—I'm the center of their universe.
The power is intoxicating.
Then Ethan wraps his hands around his mic with a sharp hiss of feedback and I lose the attention of half the crowd.
This is how it usually goes, but this isn't our usual thing.
He's up to something.
His smile is giddy as he looks out at the crowd. "I hope you'll entertain me for a minute, but I have to do something special here." He looks up to the guy running the board and shoots him a thumbs-up.
A spotlight goes to the VIP area.
To Piper and Violet.
Violet's jaw is already halfway to the floor.
Piper too.
"Violet, I don't have a lot of fancy words for you. But fuck, I love you. You're the highlight of every single one of my days. I'd rather cut off my left arm than lose you. Fuck, I'd rather cut off both my arms than lose you." He looks to the crowd. "Don't worry, I'm keeping the arms."
The crowd cheers.
Violet stares back at him, surprise in her green eyes.
Ethan drops to one knee. "Violet Valentine, will you marry me?"
Her hand goes to her mouth. She takes a moment to compose herself then she nods. Her nods get faster, more dramatic. She yells, but there's no way for her voice to carry from the second floor.
Ethan is staring at her like she's holding his heart. She is. She glued him back together. Of course, she's the one who broke him apart in the first place.
I love Violet like a sister. I know she was going through a lot of bad shit when she and Ethan broke up.
But the way he spiraled into this miserable shell of himself, this guy who could only be happy when he was playing…
It concerns me.
He pushes himself to his feet. "Really? You're really saying yes?"
She nods and yells something else we can't hear.
Then she's hugging Piper. And Bella too. And other friends up there with them.
She's like a sister to Piper too.
This is good. For all of us.
This is exactly what Ethan wants.
It's a surprise, but that doesn't explain the tightening in my chest.
I lean forward to my mic. "We better get through this song quickly so you two can celebrate."
She hides behind her hands.
He smiles wide. "We better." He looks to the crowd. "You forgive me for the interruption?"
Everyone screams.
Everyone in the fucking theater is happy for them.
But bile is still threatening to rise into my throat.
An hour of congratulations and one long drive later, we're crammed into Ethan and Violet's two-bedroom Newport Beach apartment.
She's on the couch, in Ethan's lap, marveling at her ornate, twisted silver, diamond and amethyst engagement ring. It's perfect for Violet. It even matches her black and purple bat print dress.
It matches their bedroom.
The woman wears a lot of black and purple.
Violet has always been the hot goth math geek. She's about as normal as any of us. She's perfect for Ethan, the quiet, thoughtful yin to his energetic, bouncy yang.
That's why Ethan was devastated when she left. I still don't know the details, not exactly, only that they both admit they were being idiots.
They've been back together, happy, a long time now.
Lived together a long time now.
This is a good thing.
Ethan and Violet are engaged.
Piper and Kit are engaged.
My baby brother and baby sister are growing up. Moving on with their lives. It's a fucking good thing.
Joel and Bella stumble into the apartment, their hair and clothes just fucked. He shrugs what can I say, I love my wife.
He looks to Violet. "Congratulations, Valentine. You staying Valentine or are you going to become a Strong?"
"I haven't thought about it." She smiles at him then her green eyes are fixed on the ring again.
Bella clears her throat. "Sorry we're late. We had to, um…" She motions to the plastic bag in Joel's hand. "We had to pick up champagne." She looks to Kit, sitting on the couch next to Piper.
"We got sparkling cider too."
He nods. "Thanks, Bella."
She smiles and adjusts her glasses. "Let's pop a bottle."
"I'll get the flutes," Violet says.
I push myself off the couch. "Let me."
Lacey pushes herself up too. "I'll assist."
"You want your pick of champagne?" Joel asks.
She smiles. "Maybe."
"We got six of the same bottle." Bella moves into the kitchen. "But you will have to get in early if you want a drop before Joel finishes it."
"We'll see." Lacey steps in. "I lap up champagne like a pro." Her eyes meet mine. They spark as she smiles. I want to lick champagne off your cock.
I'm not imagining that.
She's giving me that same once-over.
Fuck, I want to dribble this champagne off her lips, her chin, her tits, her thighs. I want to tie her to my bed and lick every fucking drop until she's so desperate to come she's squirming.
I need to know I'm in charge of her pleasure.
I need her knowing it too.
Fuck. This is off. Nothing wrong with wanting to tie up a beautiful woman, but this need to get back in control of shit—
I'm fucking happy for Ethan and Violet.
This is fucking great news.
I find the champagne flutes in the kitchen cabinet. There are only four, but there are enough glasses to make do.
"I thought you didn't drink," Lacey says.
"Since when do you not drink?" Joel asks.
"Since your last tour." Bella hip checks him. "Don't you remember complaining about, um… you noticed his change in mood without any drinking."
Joel laughs. "I don't remember shit with the way those phone calls always ended."
She blushes. "He does this to torture me."
Joel winks. "You're only going to turn Mal on, talking about torture."
Bella looks to Lacey and mouths sorry.
Lacey doesn't say anything but she does nestle into my body. She spent a few minutes of the ride here gushing over how romantic Ethan's proposal was, but she quickly changed the topic to the music videos, then to the song playing on the radio—actually about heroin addiction, not love—then she launched into a long tangent on songs about heroin addiction.
She has enough passion to talk about music, about lyrics for days.
I lean in to whisper in her ear, "I want to tie you up tonight."
She trips over her foot. Her cheeks flush. The little hairs on her neck stand up as she tilts her head back towards me.
"You want that too, baby?" I whisper.
"Yes." Her voice is restrained. She's trying to hide her arousal.
"I want to lick champagne off your tits," I say.
She nods.
"I want you to suck it off my cock."
She clears her throat. She looks to Bella and Joel in an attempt to maintain innocence. "I, uh… that works for my schedule."
Bella and Joel share a knowing look.
He pops his bottle of champagne and laughs as the cork hits the ceiling. "Fuck, this thing is accurate."
"Thankfully not." Bella takes the bottle and fills half a dozen glasses.
We each take two.
Lacey waits until Bella and Joel are back in the living room. She looks up at me. "You okay?"
I nod. How the fuck can she tell I'm full of shit? I wear a great poker face.
"It's been a long day, huh?" Her fingers curl around the two glasses in her hands. She searches my expression. From the way her lips press together and her eyes light up with epiphany, she must have found something. "But I'm still up for our post-party plans."
Good.
"Of course, they're really making me want to ditch this party." She takes a step towards the main room. "But I know you want to stay. I can tell you love your siblings more than anything."
There's something to her tone.
She's testing me.
It shouldn't be obvious I'm uncomfortable.
I do love Ethan and Piper more than anything.
I should be fucking ecstatic.
This is best fucking news in forever.
But my chest is still tight. My legs are heavy. My thoughts are spinning out of control.
I want to shut them out.
I want to drown them in champagne and sweat.
But I can't.
The same thought keeps running through my head as I hand out champagne.
As I hold up my glass to toast.
As I issue words of congratulations. You two are gonna be so fucking happy.
As I swallow my glass of champagne.
As I try to get into the banter and the smiles.
The thought fucking screams at me.
Now, you're really alone.
Nobody needs you to take care of them.
Nobody needs you anymore.
16
Mal
It's well past midnight when we leave the party. My champagne buzz is long gone. I'm antsy from the hours of talk of weddings and honeymoons and forever.
I want the world for my little brother. And for Violet. I want them to live a long happy life together.
But that dread is still plaguing my gut. It's always quiet at the house. Too quiet. And it's not going to change.
They're forever.
That's a good thing.
I pull Lacey's body into mine as I lead her to the parking garage. I'm more forceful than I mean to be.
Instead of shrinking back, she purrs, leaning into the gesture.
"Mal…" She looks up at me with hazy eyes. She's tipsy. Maybe even drunk. She's a happy drunk. She's smiling, her expression the picture of affection. "You were gentle before."
My voice drops to something low and demanding. "When I fucked you on the couch? Or when I fucked you in my bed?"
She doesn't even blush. She must be drunk. "Both." She nods. "But… you've been different tonight." She presses her palm against my chest. "I'm not complaining."
I'm tempted to pin her to that wall and fuck her right here.
But I don't fuck drunk women.
Even so, I squeeze her tighter as I take the last few steps to my car. I press the unlock button. The car beeps. The locks click.
I open Lacey's door for her.
Instead of sliding into her seat, she turns and presses her ass against the backseat door. "You're angry."
"No."
"Something." Her brown eyes fix on mine. "You looked surprised. At the show. And when you saw the ring. Your brother didn't tell you?"
I say nothing.
"He didn't ask for your help."
I say nothing.
She stares back at me, her eyes earnest and intense. Most people give up on staring contests with me right away.
Lacey doesn't.
She holds my gaze for a full minute. "You don't have to admit it verbally. It's obvious in your expression."
"He didn't tell me or ask for help."
"That must hurt."
It's a more sympathetic explanation than me being a fucking asshole who wants everyone miserable so they need me. "He's an adult. It's good he's independent."
She shakes her head. "He's your best friend and he made a huge change in his life without asking your advice. He didn't even warn you about doing it mid-show."
"He's romantic. Impulsive."
"Maybe. But he was planning it. The stuff he said during our pitch. He knew." She tugs my t-shirt down my chest, rises to her tiptoes, and presses her lips to my exposed skin. "It's normal that you feel left out."
What can I say? I'm twenty-seven. I'm not about to throw down I don't want to talk about it. Especially when I can't stand her throwing down that same line about whatever happened with her ex.
"I like you, Mal." She drags her lips over my chest. "You don't want to share, fine. Let me make you feel good."
"You're drunk."
"But you want me?"
"You really have to ask?"
"Humor me."
; "I want to bend you over the hood and fuck you until you're screaming my name loud enough to wake up every single person in this building."
Her breath catches in her throat. She tugs at my t-shirt, pulling me closer and pushing me farther at once. "You should."
I want to. If she keeps asking, I might. Which means I need her to stop asking.
I drop my voice to that demanding tone. If she really does want to submit to me, she'll listen to it. "No."
She presses her back against the car. It's as much space as she can take right now.
"Get in the car."
"I do like you, Mal. I want you to talk to me."
"And when I asked about your ex?"
Her lips press together. Her eyes turn down. "Okay. You admit one ugly thing, I admit one ugly thing."
Tension creeps into her shoulders and neck. She wants to tell me. She's terrified to tell me. Both things are in her eyes. In her posture.
I want to tell her.
Fuck, it's scary, the thought of her really knowing me.
But I don't run from scary.
I take a step backwards. "Get in the car and I'll tell you."
She does. She looks up at me as I close the door. The confidence falls from her expression.
She's nervous.
She's still ashamed.
Whatever it is, she'll feel better if she tells me. Shame and honesty are mortal enemies.
I slide into the car and pull the door closed. The air is cool, but it's still. It makes the tension heavier. More obvious.
Lacey plays with her seatbelt. "You go first."
"It's complicated."
"Mine too."
I stare back into her brown eyes. I don't know how to explain this. I'm not even sure what I think of it.
But I want to tell her.
I can't believe how much I want to tell her. "My parents bailed when I turned eighteen. Ethan was fifteen. Piper was twelve. I'm their dad as much as I'm their older brother. And now… Piper's engaged. She lives with Kit. She stays over during school some nights, but the house isn't her home anymore. She doesn't need me anymore. Ethan doesn't need me anymore. He didn't even need my advice with the proposal. I would have told him that Vi is reserved and she would hate a public thing. But I would have been wrong. She was happy." I swallow hard. "They're grown up. We'll never have the relationship we used to have."
Dangerous Fling: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 4) Page 13