Torn

by A. M. Wallace

  “Yes, you do,” I said with a smirk as I bent down to kiss her neck. I felt her moan as I kissed her rather than hearing it. All the sudden, she pulled away and turned to face me, just out of my reach.

  “You have to catch me first,” she laughed as she took off down the hall. Those were the first sexually playful words she’d said to me the first night she stayed over when she wasn’t too drunk to go home.

  I watched her go, grinning the entire time. She was a very playful person, which I absolutely loved about her. And boot on my foot or not, I’d catch her. She knew I would.

  I always caught her.

  i lay in bed, my head propped up on my pillows and my eyes closed for a moment. I fought to keep my hands behind my head as Amy took my cock further into her mouth. I glanced down and could see the desire in her eyes as she tortured me some more with her slow movements. It was the sweetest torture though.

  I caught her, just like I knew I would. This was my reward. Well, after I spent some quality time between her legs just moments before; it was the least she could do. Her words, not mine.

  She released my cock with a pop before crawling up my body, straddling my hips. I smiled up at her, running my hands down her side to her waist. She bit her lip and I raised myself up with one hand, wrapping my other arm completely around her waist, holding her to me.

  “Don’t bite your lip,” I said before sucking her lip from her hold and kissing her passionately.

  “Why not?” she asked, giggling softly. Her arms were around my neck, keeping my face close to hers.

  “I already have a hard time controlling myself around you.” I continued to kiss her as I spoke. “When you bite your lip, it makes it damn near impossible.”

  I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed a condom, tearing open the wrapper and tossing it to the side. Amy took the condom from me and raised herself up slightly, positioning me beneath her and applying the condom before lowering herself slowly down on me, my cock sliding easily into her. She was still soaking wet from my earlier play, though she’d admitted before that giving head really turned her on as well. I knew the feeling.

  I lay back and she put her hands on my chest to hold herself up as she moved. My hands were back on her waist, holding her as she continued to ride me. I groaned, watching her on top of me. I’d never seen anything hotter. She dug her nails into my chest with each thrust and I raised my hips to meet hers, burying my cock even deeper inside of her. She cried out and I knew I’d found her spot.

  I wrapped my arms around her and held onto her as I flipped us quickly, staying inside her as I did. She squealed in surprise and I smiled down at her. She raised her head to meet me as I came down to kiss her, thrusting into her again. I swallowed her moan as I made my thrusts a little more forceful each time.

  I held off as long as I could, but it was difficult. Each moan she let out, every time her nails scored my skin, I felt myself coming loose. She was getting close, too; I could feel it. I’d already gotten her off a couple of times and it didn’t take her very long this time either.

  I could feel her muscles start to tighten around me and her breathing became more labored. She cried out my name and I was done for. I groaned loudly, thrusting into her one last time before releasing within the condom inside her. Amy’s body tensed with her orgasm, milking me until I was spent.

  I pulled out of her and rolled to my side, completely breathless. I pulled the condom off and tied it in a knot before tossing it in the trash can by the bed just as Amy rolled over, halfway on top of me. She kissed my chest and then my lips and smiled. I wanted to see that smile of hers all the time.

  “Wanna go again?” she asked as her smile changed to a smirk.

  Who was I to deny the princess what she wanted?

  “um…” that's all i could say. I had no words. I was completely confused.

  “Can I help you?” she asked politely, even though her brow was furrowed in confusion as she looked me up and down, wondering who I was.

  She was wearing a white button down shirt that was obviously way too big for her because it just covered her panties. If she was even wearing any. Must have been her boyfriend’s shirt. It was buttoned as if she were in a hurry when putting it on. She was a blonde. Too blonde to be natural. Not to mention her dark roots were a dead giveaway.

  I still couldn’t speak. I looked at her door again and confirmed the number. I must have gotten it wrong. There was no way this could be Justin's apartment.

  “I'm, um, I'm sorry. I must have--” I got cut off by a familiar voice coming from inside.

  “Who's at the door, baby?”

  My heart completely stopped. It was Justin's voice.

  I started to turn away, not wanting to wait to see his face to be sure, but I was too late. Justin opened the door wider, curious as to who was interrupting him, I'd guess. His eyes went wide, just the same as mine as my fear was confirmed.

  “Hannah!” he all but screamed my name in shock. “I can explain!” He looked nervously between me and the other girl. My eyes stay on him.

  I could see Blondie’s mouth open in shock when he acknowledged me. I could only imagine what she was thinking right now. I shook my head, unable to speak. Now I knew exactly why he never invited me over. It had nothing to do with Derek and his lack of cleanliness. Was Derek even real? I’d never met him personally, but Justin had pointed him out to me before. Was he lying then, too?

  “Justin, who is this?” Blondie sounded pissed now. Of course she was. He was obviously digging himself in deep with her, too. Whoever she was, I almost felt bad for her. Almost. She didn’t seem to know about me; therefore, she wasn’t to blame. But I was hurting too bad to really think that through.

  I swallowed hard as I stared them both down, finally finding my voice. “How long?” I surprised myself with how strong my voice sounded when inside, I was completely breaking. I told myself I wanted to know. I told myself I needed to know. But the longer I stood there, waiting for his answer, the more I would have rather just run away than know the truth.

  Justin looked even more uncomfortable now and Blondie had taken to glaring at him with her arms crossed over her chest. He looked back and forth between the two of us before turning toward her with a pleading look in his eyes.

  “Michelle, I'm sorry. It was just a stupid fling…”

  I blinked, in even more shock, but before I could react, Michelle beat me to it. She squealed so loudly I felt like my ears might bleed. Then she slapped him. Hard. She pushed past him inside and he followed her. Followed her! And I was left standing outside his apartment like a complete idiot.

  I was the fling? Me? I begged my feet to move. I needed to get out of here. I needed to get as far away from him and that girl as possible. My feet wouldn’t move. The tears were starting and I didn’t want to cry right here in the hallway, but I was stuck. I’d never felt this kind of pain before.

  Justin had been cheating on someone else with me. This whole time, our whole relationship had been a lie. I thought about it a little more, and yes, I did feel bad for that girl because she had no idea he had someone on the side. How could someone do that to someone they supposedly cared about? She could have been a model. She was beautiful. And I was me. This plain, little redhead. I could see what everyone would have thought about this. Why in the world would he risk his relationship with someone like her for someone like me?

  I finally got my feet to move and I ran down the stairs and flew out the door and onto the street, hurrying my way down the block to where I'd parked my car. It really didn’t take me long, but it seemed to take forever.

  How could I have been so stupid? I thought everything was perfect. Or as close to perfect as I thought was possible. Justin was everything I'd wanted in a guy. He was driven and had a solid goal in life. He was intelligent and extremely handsome in that dorky sort of way that I had a weakness for. He treated me well. But as I made my way to my car, things started to really make sense.

  He ne
ver took me to his apartment. He never introduced me to his family, even though they lived in the same city. His only friend he’d ever really even pointed out was Derek, who was also his roommate. Which was ironic in itself, wasn't it? Of course Derek knew about the whole thing. How could he not when they lived together? Everyone I ever saw him with he claimed was a colleague and not worth meeting really because he said we’d never hang out because he didn’t hang out with them. Said it was all about studying. And I fell for every single thing he said.

  I finally made it to my car, hopped in, and locked my doors. I let my mind wander, thinking up anything else that should have been a clue. He was just so good at hiding things; how could I have seen it when no one else did. Of course, Marcus would come to mind now.

  “Oh, God…” Now I let the tears come.

  Marcus was right the entire time. He knew something was off about Justin. He had tried to warn me numerous times. But I brushed him off, accused him of being jealous. We had been on the outs for a few weeks now because of it. And he was right the whole freaking time.

  I was seriously so stupid.

  Marcus wouldn't make something like that up. He wouldn't have told me he thought something was off with him if he didn't honestly think it were true. Especially not if he thought it would hurt me. Marcus would never hurt me intentionally, and he would never let me get hurt if he could prevent it. He tried to prevent this, but I fought him with every step.

  Justin was very good at this game he’d been playing. I really thought he cared. Everyone around me did. Except for Marcus. I couldn’t have made up the way he made me feel. He took me to my favorite restaurants, rented my favorite movies, and brought me my favorite flowers. He was perfect. I really thought he was perfect. And I slept with him that first date.

  Marcus was right about that, too. I put out the first time we met, so he kept up the charade to get what he wanted when Blondie apparently wasn’t doing it for him anymore. He used me, and I’d let him, all for the kind words and gestures he had for me. I felt worthless now.

  I had thought that because he was so perfect, that was why Marcus had a hard time accepting him. It did seem a little unrealistic that I’d find the perfect guy just like that, but I thought I got lucky. And I thought Marcus was just being an ass. I couldn’t believe I didn’t trust him about all of this.

  I could barely see through my tears now. How messed up did it make me that I was more upset about defending Justin to Marcus when Marcus was right about him than I was that Justin cheated on me? Don't get me wrong, it hurt. It hurt like hell to see that girl half naked in his apartment. It hurt even more to hear him admit I was nothing more than a fling to him. But now I had to answer to Marcus for my stupidity. I only hoped he would forgive me. I could really use my best friend right now. Whether Amy was there or not, I couldn't care less. I wanted Marcus and he would be there for me. I just knew it.

  It didn’t matter that we had just gotten in a huge fight just hours before. It didn’t matter that he was right the whole time and I did need to get my head out of my ass. It didn’t matter that Amy was there, trying to take my place in his life. None of that mattered. What mattered was Marcus and I loved each other. Maybe the feeling was more mutual than I’d thought. Maybe there was a possibility I’d been wrong the entire time by trying to forget Marcus by being with Justin.

  I wiped my eyes and reached into my pocket for my phone. Wiping my eyes didn't help much because the tears just kept flowing. It wouldn't be too much longer until I was a complete snotty mess. I opened up my texts and started a new one to Marcus.

  I need you.

  That's all I needed to say. I knew no matter what was going on between us, we'd always be there for each other. This was no different. Even if he did just get out of the hospital days before, he was doing better. Even if I had just severely pissed him off, I knew he'd want to be there for me. As selfish as it may sound, I needed him.

  What now?

  I made the effort to wipe my eyes and nose again with the sleeve of my shirt. Not much help again. Marcus was still mad at me. I could tell through his text. But I wasn’t going to just back down now. I truly needed him right now.

  Justin's been cheating on me.

  That wasn't exactly true, I guess, but I could explain in person. It didn’t even take a few seconds for him to reply to that.

  Where are you?

  He didn't blow up through text message. Not that I expected him to. He'd rather hold a conversation face to face, and this one I knew he'd love to have with Justin. He was worried about me now. I knew him well enough to know if he was asking where I was, he would eventually find me.

  Just leaving his place. Can I come over?

  For some reason, his reply to this took longer. A lot longer, actually. I had a feeling it had something to do with Amy being there, but I couldn't bring myself to care. If she had a problem with this, then she could just deal with it. Marcus was my best friend and I was his. We had our problems, but who didn’t. He wouldn’t choose her over me this time.

  Yes. Be careful.

  I tossed my phone into the passenger seat and composed myself enough to drive the twenty minutes to his house. I started my car and pulled out of the parking lot. I didn't think about the way I was taking until I saw a familiar figure walking hastily in the direction I was driving. It was Michelle hurrying down the street. With an obviously desperate Justin trailing behind her. Pleading.

  That was the final blow I needed. Marcus or no Marcus, this whole thing with Justin hurt so badly, I couldn’t breathe. As much as I tried to make this about Marcus, I couldn’t completely ignore the betrayal I felt right now.

  I had to make it to his house before I broke down again, or else I'd be stranded. I was hanging on by a thread.

  I had to get to Marcus.

  i groaned, finally rolling out of bed. I grabbed my boxers that I’d tossed off earlier and put them back on before walking to the bathroom door. I leaned against the door frame and knocked, knowing she probably wouldn’t answer right away.

  Amy had gotten upset that Hannah had texted me, asking to come over. Actually, she had gotten upset that I said yes. She got up and grabbed her clothes and went to the bathroom where she’d been for the last ten minutes or so.

  “Amy?” I said as I knocked.

  She didn’t answer. I didn’t expect her to.

  I knew I’d royally screwed up as far as Amy was concerned. Everything was going so well tonight. No, that was an understatement. Everything was perfect. We were spending some much needed quality time together the last couple of hours. We’d been lying in bed, her head on my chest, just being together. We would talk occasionally, but mostly we just lay in comfortable silence.

  Then my phone went off.

  I moved my arm from under Amy’s head and rolled over to check it and I groaned in frustration when I saw it was Hannah. Amy rolled over toward me, kissing my back and running her hand up and down my side.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked as she continued to tease me.

  “Hannah.” I waited for Amy to get mad, but she didn’t. Not at first.

  “What does she want?” she asked and her movements stopped as she rolled on her back away from me. I sighed.

  I read the message saying that Justin had cheated on her and it made my blood boil. That fucking bastard. So many thoughts of what I’d like to do to that guy ran through my head, but I tried to calm down. I rolled over to my back next to Amy and covered my eyes with my arm.

  “She caught Justin cheating on her.” I heard Amy’s quiet gasp as I continued. “She wants to come over.” I mentally flinched, knowing Amy would be mad.

  “You said yes, didn’t you?” I expected anger in her voice, but I only heard the hurt. It made me feel that much worse.

  “Amy…” I moved my arm and looked over at her to see she was staring at the ceiling, avoiding my gaze. “She needs someone right now. She just found out the guy she’s thought was so perfect has been cheating on her
. I couldn’t say no.”

  I could see Amy’s chest rise and fall with her heavy breathing. She swallowed hard before taking a deep breath, her lip going between her teeth.

  “And now you’re making excuses for her again.” She got out of bed and grabbed her clothes from on top of the dresser, where she’d put them when she changed into her costume for the party.

  “Amy, I’m not making excuses for her.” I rolled to my side and raised myself up on my elbow. “What was I supposed to say?” She whipped around to glare at me so quickly, I was a little taken aback.

  “After everything that happened tonight? You should have said no!” She turned back around and went into my bathroom, slamming the door.

  That was where she’d been since.

  “Come on, Amy.” I pounded my head on the door a couple of times instead of knocking.

  She was pissed at me, and she was hurt, and I couldn’t blame her. But I couldn’t turn my back on Hannah. Not now, when she was hurting as badly as I knew she would be. She trusted this guy. Trusted him enough to fight with me about him.

  “Amy, I’m sorry, I…” I didn’t know what to say. “Baby, please.” I heard the doorknob turning and I took a step back.

  She didn’t look up at me at first when she came out. She had gotten dressed and thrown her hair in a ponytail. She was going to leave.

  “Amy—” I started, but she wouldn’t let me finish.

  “Don’t. Just…don’t.” She walked past me and dug into the duffle bag she’d been living out of for the past few days, pulling out her keys.

  “Amy, don’t leave,” I pleaded with her and she stood back up and turned to me.

  “I can’t be here with her right now. I can’t be here with the two of you.” She started to storm by me, but I grabbed her arm as gently as I could to hold her back.

  “Please,” I begged her again. She turned to look at me and I could see the tears in her eyes. It was like a punch to the gut.