Once his mutilated body finally succumbed to the violence, his leftover parts were sold to other countries and rich experimental laboratories. My eyes slowly glanced to see my wolf studying the TV. His shivers told me he understood what his possible change could bring him. Terrified gray eyes met mine.
“What is with you lately?” Trevor asked, pulling me from memories of the previous night.
Standing in the cafeteria line, I blinked. “Uh, nothing… why?”
“Because talking to you is like trying to communicate with outer space lately.”
I shivered, thinking of the tragic alien.
If only I could tell Trevor and Jimmy and have someone by my side to help Romy… But seeing everything with new eyes also helped me see what Trevor had become again: T, egotistical ruler of the playground. The playground had just morphed into high school. And I got to see what Trevor saw, a girl smiling at him with a not-so-hidden message. I dared a glance to Jimmy for a silent confirmation. Jimmy frowned before shamefully looking away. If my being somewhat distracted is enough to lose Trevor’s interest so quickly, how can I trust him with my most precious secret?
I couldn’t. So I didn’t.
And telling Jimmy was pretty much telling Trevor, so he wasn’t an option either.
Like every day, Romy waited for me to get home from school, sitting in my front yard as if I were still six. As the bus stopped, Trevor looked out his window and sneered. “Shocker. The mutt awaits its faithful owner.” I got up, ignoring his thoughtless remark, but froze when under his breath, Trevor said, “Shouldn’t he be dead by now?”
I had read that a wolf’s life expectancy in the wild was between six and ten years. In captivity, they could live up to eighteen years. I didn’t know which to consider Romy, since he had much freedom. I undeniably dreaded the day of his passing.
After all my worrying about what Romy might be, hearing those words spoken out loud shot an electrical current through my heart. Jimmy, who still sat in front of Trevor and me every day, warned, “T!”
Trevor took one look at me and jumped out of his seat. “Oh, God, babe, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that, and you know it.” He grabbed me and kissed my head over and over. “I’m sorry.”
I silently nodded without returning the kisses and exited the bus.
At the dinner table, Mom and Dad ate their chili. Sounds of spoons clanking against bowls made my insides ache. Every noise agitated me. Even the smell of the best chili in the world now brought me discomfort.
“Why so quiet, Marlena?”
I looked away from the full spoon I’d been staring at. “Tired, I guess.”
A big snout came to rest in my lap.
My father didn’t approve. “Romy, not at the table. Go lie down.”
My dad speaking to a being who might become human someday as if he were simply an unaware dog made my skin hurt. Romy, of course, retreated—obeyed—and that made me incredibly irritable. “Dad, please don’t. I know you have rules but I… I need him right now.”
My dad tilted his head, clearly perplexed.
Romy waited quietly for further instructions. That made my stomach queasy. I didn’t want Romy to need permission to react.
Luckily, my father loved me and gestured to Romy. My wolf stepped forward and laid his head back in my lap. That sweet, simple action made something inside me break. I began to cry.
My dad touched my shoulder. “He’s with you, little girl. What’s wrong?”
Tears kept falling. “I-I’m not sure. May I please be excused?”
My stunned parents didn’t move or blink their eyes. I’d never cared if I needed permission nor asked for it. I did as I chose. But seeing Romy being treated this way, I felt it was only right that I also have rules.
Father was speechless, so my mom stuttered, “U-Uh, yes. You’re, uh, excused.”
I barely voiced a thank you and went upstairs. My wolf followed.
My body collapsed to my bed and refused to move. Every muscle felt drained of energy. The bed creaked before I felt a wet nose under my chin. I forced my tired arm around him and hugged my wolf, searching and finding comfort. “Romy?”
Two barks.
“I need to do my homework.” I was more than fatigued. I had no drive to accomplish my task. Romy immediately leapt from my bed and dragged my backpack to the bed. I weakly smiled. “But I also need a ten-minute nap.” Romy glanced at my digital clock. Red numbers said 6:45.
My eyes closed.
A lick to my face woke me from the coma I’d drifted into. “Romy, I’m too tired. More sleep.”
One bark.
I huffed and puffed but opened my eyes. Red numbers next to my bed read 6:55. I peered at the wolf waiting for me to get up. “I’m not crazy, am I?”
One bark.
With encouragement from Romy, I finally smiled with some energy. “Okay then, homework time it is.”
Sitting at my desk as I did every night, I noticed something I’d taken for granted: a wolf planted next to me. With the old memories resurfacing, I paid more attention to Romy studying what I did on my computer. “You’re still learning every day, aren’t you?”
Two barks.
Thinking about all the schoolwork I’d done in front of him, all the books I’d read and the TV shows I’d watched, I realized Romy wouldn’t be behind when or if he changed his form.
I stared at my computer and couldn’t believe I had not thought of this before. “Want to search Google for your possible ancestors?”
The windows rattled with his two enthusiastic barks.
“Marlena?” My mom called from downstairs.
“We’re okay. He just got excited.”
“Amelia, he was so damn loud I spilled my beer.”
“Does that mean you need another, Everett?”
“You’re so good to me.”
Romy and I searched and searched the Internet. The one thing every site agreed on was… “Well, Romy, you don’t exist.”
Two barks.
I laughed, petting his head. “I know. You sure do exist.”
We learned that Romy’s mother and father were possibly a part of what people believed to be folklore, a werewolf. My research found some terminology of the different names for werewolves coming from Ancient Greece. If what was thought to be folklore actually existed, I learned Romy’s family tree might have very deep roots.
Some considered werewolves’ beginnings to be a berserker in the ninth century. The man wasn’t transforming into a wolf but had great strength, and it was said he acted like one.
“Maybe that’s where it all began?”
No bark. Romy didn’t know either.
Somehow, reading about witches and lycanthropes and how some people were charged with witchery and lycanthropy made me feel less crazy, especially since there were examples of these cases up until the mid-1800s. “Maybe werewolves have learned how to stay under the radar since then.”
No bark.
“Okay, my furry friend. Apparently, you are a loup-garou, and according to Hollywood and many major and minor film productions, you can start your own pack if ya bite people.” I felt so much affection for my friend as I petted him. “Can you imagine me a wolf?”
One bark.
“Me either, handsome. Let’s get some shut-eye.”
My seventeenth birthday came and went. Trevor had taken me to the movies. I questioned his choice of sitting in the back row until I had to keep pushing his hands from my chest. “What are you doing?”
He kissed my neck. “Being a teenager? Maybe you should try being one, too.”
I didn’t understand how allowing him to touch my breasts meant I was appropriately acting like a teenager. My heart pounded, feeling pressured into an activity that felt ru
shed. I became rigid in my movie seat as Trevor gently caressed me.
His hand paused. “Did you stop breathing?”
I had. “Sorry.”
Trevor blew out air as he sat back in his chair. “Whatever.”
When it came to Romy, I had relaxed again. We’d found our old groove, only now I had much more respect for his needs and wants. My junior year had come, and with the beginning of a new school year, Trevor and I were finding our end. At the Kissing Tree, better known as the Let-Me-Try-And-Touch-You-As-Fast-As-I-Can-Before-Your-Mutt-Finds-Us Tree, Trevor had finally had enough.
“What do you mean, you don’t understand?” Trevor almost yelled at me. “If I try to kiss you right now, he”—Trevor pointed to the wolf, once again sitting between my legs as I leaned back against the tree—“won’t let me!”
I knew the end was coming, but I’d been with Trevor for all my school life, except for one year, and that year had been hard on me. Saying goodbye to Trevor was saying hello to loneliness. And I feared that if Trevor and I broke up, I would lose Jimmy, too. Not wanting to lose my buddies—my only human friends—I sank to a low point I never wished to sink to again.
“Romy, go home.”
Instantly, Romy’s body jolted between my legs, as if I had jolted his heart. He slowly got up and walked a couple of steps toward home. He turned back to me with eyes that were… hurt.
Looking away from my friend, I gestured toward our house. “Go home, Romy.”
Romy did, with his head and tail hanging low.
Facing me, Trevor’s head cocked to the side with a questioning glare. My shame made me look away from him, too. My breathing became labored. Pain invaded my heart. I stayed leaning against the tree so my suddenly weak body could withstand the misery. I was completely torn between a need and a want. I wanted Trevor because, well, I didn’t know how to do school without him. But that want was not what was causing the unbearable ache in my chest. That was my need, an incredible pull for Romy and something lurking within him.
A finger gently raised my chin I hadn’t realized had fallen. “There will always be three in this relationship.”
I looked at Trevor, feeling remorseful, but there was no denying it any longer, not even to myself. Romy came first. Always had… always will.
Trevor could’ve yelled and screamed during our breakup, but he didn’t. He took a deep breath and quietly left me standing at the Kissing Tree, wondering if I’d ever be kissed again.
That night, Romy didn’t respond to my questions or comments. He just lay in my bed, watching me with very little movement. If I hadn’t betrayed him, I would’ve sworn he was sick, but Romy never got sick. I didn’t bother telling him Trevor and I were over. I was simply too tired and a tad bit brokenhearted. I had planned to marry the Big T from the playground, but life sometimes has its own plans, and mine were in the shape of a wolf.
Getting on the bus the next morning caused a wave of acid to build in my stomach. I had sat next to Trevor every day for almost eleven years, and now there was a new girl. Trevor wouldn’t even look at me. I stood there, dumbfounded, swallowing a lump in my throat.
“Hey.” Jimmy opened his arms.
My knees almost buckled as I rushed to him. I sat next to Jimmy for the first time and fell into his waiting chest. Relief exuded from my body as I realized I hadn’t lost Jimmy in the divorce.
“What are you doing?” Trevor asked from behind us.
Jimmy held me tightly. “Being a friend to our friend, you moron. Just because you feel the need to morph into a male slut overnight doesn’t mean Mar-cakes deserves to be alone while she’s forced to witness it.”
“Piss off, Hound,” Trevor muttered.
“Whatever, T. When you get through this phase, you’ll be thankful I was here for her.”
Trevor went quiet. Then I heard him quietly say, “Carrie, do you mind giving me some space this morning? I need to think. Catch ya at lunch?”
“Sure, T.” I heard wet lips connecting. “That’s for last night.”
I buried myself deeper into Jimmy’s embrace.
Carrie went and sat with a giggling girlfriend while my heart and ego took a horrendous blow. Jimmy spoke over my head as I hid in embarrassment. “Jesus, T.”
Trevor leaned forward. “I. Did. Not. Cheat.”
Jimmy’s voice rumbled in the chest I wouldn’t let go of. “Nor did you let a huge breakup settle before getting your—”
I begged, “Shhh. Please don’t say it.” I didn’t want a visual of what Trevor and his private parts did hours after we called it quits. “And please don’t fight because of me.” I sat up, my red eyes finding Trevor. “You’re right. You didn’t cheat on me.” I looked between Jimmy and Trevor. “Please, both of you drop this… I’m feeling a-a little sick.”
After staring at me for a moment, Trevor slammed his body back and elbowed his seat. Hard.
At school, the rumor mill was in full force, and Trevor’s status elevated. The lunch line was embarrassingly lonely until Jimmy cut in and joined me. “Stand tall, beautiful. Those bitches crawling up his ass ain’t got noth’n’ on you.”
I tried to force back my hunched shoulders, feeling pathetic. “Wanna eat lunch with this loner?”
“Whatcha think I’m stand’n’ here for? To be your eye candy?”
I actually giggled. “My eye candy?”
Jimmy saw my smile and matched it. “Some find redheads hot.”
I grabbed my tray. “I’m one of them. And I’m a sucker for dreamy green eyes.”
“Keep stroking my ego. I like it,” Jimmy teased as he heavily loaded his tray.
Walking past my old lunch table was uncomfortable, to say the least. My seat was taken, and Trevor smiled through new affections until he saw Jimmy and me pass by him. I didn’t want to be the cause of a rift between T and Hound. “Jimmy, you don’t have to do this.”
He found us an empty table. “T’s being his hormones’ little bitch—not his finest moment.” We both sat down. “But as you know, there’s a good guy under the layers of females presently all over him. And he will regret this—when he sees straight again.”
Just then, a chair slid from the table as a tray was set down to my right. Trevor sat with heavy shoulders. “I owe you both an apology, Marlena. You and I have far too much history for me to have done that to you. Hound, you’re right. I should’ve waited before I—”
I put my hand up. “Please don’t say it. Picturing you naked with—just please stop.”
Trevor gave out a lengthy exhale. “I’m such an asshole.”
“Yep,” Jimmy quickly agreed as he took a bite of questionable food.
“You’re not helping, Hound,” Trevor complained.
Jimmy casually opened his milk. “You’re here doing right, aren’t ya?”
He was. Trevor was sitting next to me, manning up.
“Thank you for that,” I whispered to Trevor. “Thank you for trying to mend me.”
Another quiet moment passed. Trevor asked me, “Friends?”
The word friend hit me directly in the chest, but not for the reasons I expected. It was because he was more than a boyfriend to me. I loved him because he was my friend. I nodded and choked out, “I need you,” through the emotions that owned me.
“Oh, girl.” He pulled me to him. “I need you, too. I’m so sorry for hurting you like this.” Still holding me, he said to Jimmy, “Thank you.” My hand reached behind me. Jimmy acknowledged my silent gratitude, accepting my hand.
Riding the school bus home, I was amazed by how so much could transpire in less than twenty-four hours. I was now single but happily friends with my ex, appreciating Jimmy even more, and about to take a leap into my new world.
As the bus pulled up to my house, I was grabbing my bag off the fl
oor when Jimmy said, “Oh, shit.”
Not yet looking at my new bus partner, I asked, “What?” But when I did, I saw deep-rooted fear. Jimmy was frozen, rooted to the bus seat. Then, he said words that rocked me to the core—the core of my foundation, my reason for existence. “No Romy.”
Terror shot through me. For the very first time, Romy was not waiting for me.
Knowing that no matter how mad he was, Romy would never abandon me, I jumped out of my seat and raced to the exit with Jimmy on my heels. Trevor followed us down the aisle. “I’m coming, Marlena!”
I ran off the bus. “Something’s wrong!”
“I know, girl. We’ll find him.” Trevor tried to assure me, but he didn’t sound convinced.
Bursting through my front door, I ran past my parents’ bedroom and the stairs, screaming, “Romy!”
Mom came rushing out of the kitchen, wiping her hands with a towel. “He’s not out front?”
“No!”
“He hasn’t barked to come in all day.” My mom opened the back door. She sang out, “Romy.”
We all went quiet and still and waited to hear his answering howl.
There wasn’t one.
I catapulted my body up the stairs, searching. My bedroom was empty. “He’s not here! Mom! Trevor! He’s not here!” I came running back down and tripped, crashing to the bottom step and into a waiting Trevor.
He checked me for injuries. Finding none, he grabbed my shoulders. “Listen to me. We will find him, but if you kill yourself beforehand—”
“You’re right.” I nodded frantically. “You’re right, but I should’ve known something was wrong. He was upset last night. I just thought he was mad at me.”
My Wolf and me Page 4