“Marlena!” Trevor tried to get me to focus. “Where do we search first?”
“Umm… umm.” I was trying to think of his favorite spot, but he was a wolf! He would run for miles at a time. “All over the woods.” My body shook with adrenaline.
Trevor’s forehead touched mine. “Okay then, that’s what we’ll do. Search all of the woods with our personal hound.”
My eyes closed as I thanked God for Trevor and Jimmy. Trevor might have dumped me, but he cared too much to let me suffer alone.
“I won’t sleep ’til he’s found.” Jimmy headed to the back door.
“I’ll call Everett.” Mom was already reaching for the phone hanging on the kitchen wall. She talked into the phone as Trevor, Jimmy, and I ran out the back door to find my wolf.
Standing in the backyard, Trevor and I called for Romy while Hound walked around, trying to make sense of the many wolf prints Romy had left behind. Trevor and I waited for the answering howl we desperately needed.
Nothing.
Trevor yelled in frustration, “Damn it, Romy! Answer me now!”
My ears tingled because I was listening so hard.
Nothing.
We knew a wolf could hear us from miles away. No howl either meant he was too far to hear us—which had never happened before—or he couldn’t answer us. I grabbed my stomach. “Oh, Trevor—”
“I got a fresh trail,” Jimmy interrupted me from the edge of the property.
The three of us headed into the woods, rushing, letting branches scratch our faces and bodies.
The sun was setting when I heard, “Anything?” My father had caught up to us. I dove into his arms for the comfort only a daddy can offer. Arms wrapped around me. “My little girl, breathe.”
I was so nervous I couldn’t speak, so Trevor answered for me. “Nothing and no howls.”
Jimmy was on one knee, looking at the fallen leaves as if they were talking to him. “His weight distribution is changing here… like a drunk wolf.” He stood again and kept walking. We followed as my imagination went wild with all that could have happened to Romy. The sun was going down, along with my spirits. Jimmy reassured me as he searched the ground. “I will find him, Mar-cakes.”
I blew out a shaky breath, trying not to lose hope.
“Wait!” Jimmy put his hands out to stop us from walking across the earth speaking to him. When we did, he looked intently at the ground, turning in place.
I pleaded, “What is it?”
“Hold on.” He took a couple of tentative steps. “I think he fell.” Jimmy got on his hands and knees, pointing. “He pulled himself with his front paws.” He crawled to some thick shrubbery. After looking in, Jimmy yelled, “He’s here!”
I don’t know if I ran, crawled, or flew, but I was half in the bush in a flash with my Romy. He lay on his side, sweaty and unconscious. “Romy! Wake up! Wake up!”
My father crawled in next to me, touching Romy with reservation. “Marlena, he’s soaking wet—extremely sick. Oh, man, he may have done this on purpose.”
“What do you mean?” I asked in a panic. All three men were half in the bush with me, and none of them said anything, but they all seemed to know something I didn’t. “Please! What do you mean?”
Seeing as neither Trevor nor my father had the courage to break my heart, Jimmy softly said, “It means… he came here to die, Mar-cakes. Animals wander off when they know their time has come.”
My eyes slammed shut as I begun to moan, completely overtaken with throbbing sensations attacking my organs. The thought of losing Romy was going to kill me, right there in front of my father, but then a memory passed though me. Mother Wolf.
He can’t tell you yet… but he loves you, too.
Yet? My younger voice echoed in my head.
These men didn’t know what I knew. Romy was possibly about to shift into something other than the wolf they were looking at. So I began the pointless but determined effort of trying to collect Romy into my arms and drag him from the shrubbery.
“What are you doing, little girl?”
“Taking my wolf home.”
My father, Trevor, and Jimmy carried Romy all the way home.
Chapter Five:
Beauty and Torture Becoming One
Having Romy in our bed in my arms was what kept me from falling apart. I couldn’t sleep. I needed to stay awake to make sure he kept breathing. No TV echoed from downstairs. My parents slept. In the dark, I watched his fur rise and fall. I wondered what the hell was going to happen. Will he turn human like his mom? Will I still be able to keep his secret?
Mother Wolf’s words came back to me. He will never hurt you. He loves you too. I remembered her telling me how Sebastian—I gasped when I remembered his real name—would need the moon’s energy/gravity and space to change. My rickety bed was not going to do. Romy instinctively knew what his body needed, and I had just dragged him back home.
I thought about the cave having a wide-open entrance, where the moon could reach him, and he would still have cover. I have to take Romy to the cave.
When the moonlight crept through my window, his panting raced faster and faster. My heart pounded. His whimpers? They threw me right over the edge because now I knew his change was coming tonight and fast. I jumped out of bed, and I tried to wake him with no success. “Romy, please wake up. I think we have to go.”
Nothing.
He felt hot and sweaty to the touch; his gray fur was matted. I whispered the only other word I could think of to wake him. “Sebastian.”
Gray eyes slowly opened.
Gratitude poured from my heart, seeing my most favorite eyes, until I realized Romy didn’t feel like a wolf to me. Something changed under his fur, telling me I was running out of time. “Romy? I think something’s happening to you, and I think you need the woods for it to take place. Do you think you can walk?”
He blinked his eyes twice.
I ran to my desk to write a note to my parents.
Mom and Dad,
Please don’t worry. I think Dad was right. Romy woke up and needs the woods. Please don’t worry. Be home tomorrow.
Love ya,
Marlena
I rushed around my room, not knowing what to do next.
“Supplies?” I asked myself.
“Yes, good thinking,” I answered myself.
I threw on a sweatshirt and grabbed an extra jacket and my backpack. Then I ran downstairs as quietly as I could for a flashlight, matches, water bottles, and snacks. I wasn’t sure what a wolf-turned-something might be hungry for, but my Romy loved Pop Tarts for a midnight snack, so I grabbed the whole box and a banana. I don’t know. Maybe I thought he was going to turn into a monkey.
Back upstairs in my room, I said to Romy, “I need you to follow me and trust me. I’m taking you to the cave.” When he lifted his head, some sort of ghost’s impression drifted directly over him, and he almost seemed… human. This almost-human shadow had an alarmed expression crossing its face that I’d never seen before. I blinked my eyes and saw Romy again. That was when I knew. Romy was turning into a man.
Anticipation, excitement and nervousness rushed through me as I tried to imagine Romy with legs, arms, and a mouth! A way to talk to me! Yes, Romy and I had found ways to communicate, but I sensed this would be so much more.
Haunted by the terror on the young man’s face, I said, “No, I won’t leave you there. I’ll stay with you.” I tried to assure him, in case Romy could hear me in that shadowed form.
He did, and he believed me. His slow and weak crawl out of bed told me so. I knew that at his pace, we weren’t going to make it out of my room before he manifested into the young man I had just witnessed. So with my backpack strapped on, I put my arms around his ribs and helped my friend down the stairs. Quietl
y, we snuck out the back door. With a wolf living in their house and no fear of intruders, my parents usually slept like the dead, but with that wolf sick, I was afraid they would wake easily.
Once outside and fully immersed in the moonlight, something triggered in Romy, and he took off running across my yard. I hoped he was headed to the cave. Since my nighttime expert eyes had abandoned and left me behind, I pulled out my flashlight and chased the most important being in my life.
The cave was a forty-five-minute walk from my house, so I ran on and off for about twenty-five minutes before I heard torturous moaning. One should be scared of such a sound, but I knew who it was and followed the sounds tearing my heart apart. “Romy,” I called out to him. “I’m here, Romy, looking for you.”
I knew he had not made it to the cave. And when the moans tuned into pitiful howls, I ran with all I had, my heavy backpack bouncing on my back.
His shadow against the ground was what I saw first. His transformation was what I saw next. I jolted to a stop as I witnessed beauty and torture become one.
I could only see Romy’s profile, not daring to interfere with what he had to do on his own. He went from all four paws to standing on his hind legs over and over while half howling and crying. His form kept shifting, but not in the gruesome ways I’d seen in movies. It was almost mystical, shadows of deception playing with my mind. His agonized cries told me nothing was happening to my mind, only his body and possibly his soul. Then male human screams erupted from the wolf howls as the form of the wolf violently danced with the form of a young man.
With every torturous moment and holler, fear ripped through me as his transformation ripped through him. Never had I seen someone suffer so, never witnessed such unimaginable pain. I loved Romy, which meant I already loved this young man who was fighting his way into the world. His misery was mine, and it made me hit my knees and slam my hands over my ears, wanting it all to end.
“Tell him not to fight it,” Mother Wolf’s words whispered from the distant memory.
My hands braced me from collapsing to the ground completely. “Don’t fight it! Let it happen, Romy!” My backpack slid, following my sudden movements.
The torment continued.
“Sebastian!” I screamed. “Embrace your calling!”
And that was it. Those words reached him, or maybe it was some deep-rooted instinct that should have been taught to him as he prepared for his transitional stage. Romy’s arms flew out as his body surged through the final stage so dramatically that it arched backward, taking his full form to the balls of his paws/feet. All the shadows merged into place, and the naked body of a young man dropped to the ground.
Not taking the time to get up, I scrambled on my hands and knees to reach his side, terrified he might never wake, and I would be without him because I’d failed to tell him the message in time. “Romy! Romy! I’m here! I’m here!”
Once close enough, I stopped, realizing he might need to rest. Taking off my backpack, I watched his labored breathing. While he slept, steam rose from his naked form. I decided to inspect for anything that a wolf/human could have go terribly wrong, but what I saw was a body lying on its side, curled up, dripping in sweat. I watched his perfectly formed bare shoulders move with every tired inhale and exhale.
Long arms that were far from formed incorrectly had strong hands attached, lying out in front of him, an inch from my knees. Thick thighs were pulled to a stomach that, from what I could see, appeared to be etched in stone. Romy now had knees that could catch him every time he fell, calves that I was sure would prove to be worthy of any race, and feet that were prepared to carry him any distance.
Dark, damp hair partially covered the face I needed to see. All these years of him hidden inside Romy had me anxious about what was to be revealed. I leaned forward over his arms and dared myself to reach my shaky hand out and touch my friend. Softly, I pushed hair to the side.
I gasped.
He was simply the most stunning creature I had ever seen.
I don’t know if I found him so beautiful because he simply was or because I loved him with every strand of emotion in my heart, but the kindness radiating from him that night instantly warmed my soul.
Full lips with a slender nose were perfectly in portion with cheekbones that invited me to see eyes that had yet to open. I knew if they were anything like his wolf eyes, they would be glorious, and if his soul was as sweet as my Romy’s, I was about to meet one of the greatest in the world.
When he began to shiver, for the first time I remembered what season we were in and got a chill myself. I rushed through my backpack and pulled out my jacket, draping it gently over his nakedness. His eyelids fluttered. In barely a whisper, I said, “Romy?”
Eyelids slowly rose to expose me to the eyes of an angel. They were Romy’s grays, yet a little lighter, almost hiding the cloud-like speckles.
Slowly, recognition washed over his face, and I couldn’t stop my joyful tears. I didn’t realize I’d had a hidden fear that this young man might not know me. But from the way he studied my face, I knew he did. This was somehow still my Romy.
His mouth opened. His lips moved as if trying to talk. His jaw tightened when no sound emerged. I softly touched his tense face and quietly cried. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Romy.” I smiled through my tears and whispered, “Sebastian.”
His eyes closed as his hands tried to move, his fingers reaching out. I looked at those long fingers and almost whimpered. “Do you want me to hold your hand?” His shoulders shook as his emotions took over, and I rushed to comfort him. I quickly took hold of his fingers and held his hand. My head lowered to his as I nuzzled to him as if he were still a wolf. “Embrace your calling, my dear friend.”
His hand tightened on mine. He heard me.
We stayed like that for some time. He even slept some more. I let him until he began to tremble from the cold again. Touching his face as if he were my most precious gift, I whispered, “Romy, I need you to wake up now.”
His eyes drowsily opened. I had to take a breath to accept his beauty before I spoke again. “I need to get you to the cave. Okay?”
A slight movement of his head was all I got. I took it for a yes.
Putting my backpack on, I told him, “I’m going to help you up, okay?”
Another slight nod.
Lifting a man who weighs almost two hundred pounds and who has never had feet before was no easy task. In the first attempt, my jacket slid off, leaving him bare and exposed. He did not seem shy, and I was too worried to care, so I shoved the jacket back into my backpack before trying again. With my arm under his, I groaned and struggled as Romy forced his body to work. His new legs kept giving out from under him, slamming us back to the ground. I kept telling him it was okay and assured him I was fine every time his eyes begged me for forgiveness.
On my knees, I smiled at him while trying to brush dirt from his face. “Stop worrying about me. You’re the one who has had a life-altering night—”
But I stopped speaking when his eyes closed. His face turned into my palm, inhaling deeply, as if he missed my comfort.
I’d kissed, petted, hugged, held, stroked, touched, and loved him for the past eleven years. I leaned to him as my other arm wrapped around his waist. “I’m here, Romy. I love you.”
His arms came around my waist, just underneath my backpack, and his face nuzzled from one side of my face, under my chin, to the other side of my face. Maybe it looked odd, but it felt wonderful. It felt like my Romy, and I nuzzled him in return with an eagerness I could barely contain. Our lips brushed each other’s with every passing, but it wasn’t sexual. It was an affectionate moment that was incredibly intimate.
Rain began to fall, increasing the effects of the dropping temperature. I placed one hand to his cheek to get his attention because Romy never minded the rain. Eyes looke
d deep into mine, waiting for my next words.
“It’s getting colder, and I don’t know what your body needs yet, so I really want us in that cave.”
Again, his eyes closed as his face turned to my palm, inhaling my scent, but this time, he nodded and looked back at me. I inhaled, preparing myself.
“Okay, here we go.” I pushed my shoulder under his for as much support as I could offer. Success. We were finally standing, and I was now looking up to a young man somewhere over six feet tall with water dripping from his face. He shook and panted from the cold and muscle overload. Possibly it was from too much too soon, or whatever else goes along with changing your form completely.
We stumbled, and he groaned, but we didn’t fall in the forming mud as Romy and I made our way to the cave through the rain. I was sure the cave would offer comfort, shelter, and the salvation my friend desperately needed. That was until we approached, and I acknowledged the fact that another animal might have made a home of our former napping area. In wolf form, Romy kept me safe. In this exhausted form, he needed me to be the protector for once. I shone my flashlight while trying to balance Romy on the shoulder I could offer.
After some inspection, I saw the cave was empty, and memories flooded my mind. His puppy face as he grew… Looking at his face now was astonishing.
I guided my friend inside the cave that had once seemed so big. Now it seemed cozy with the moonlight peeking through the clouds, my flashlight leading the way, and raindrops hitting the entrance with pitter-pat noises.
Once inside, the freezing Romy fell to his knees. I jolted down to the ground with him. I quickly took off my backpack and embraced him, trying to bring him some warmth. His arms came around my waist, and he shook. Into his neck and shoulder, I spoke. “Romy, I need to go collect wood and start a fire.”
His arms tightened, telling me no. I figured it was because he was worried I would not come back until I realized what he might be trying to tell me. “It’s raining?”
My Wolf and me Page 5