Not What You Think
Page 29
Well, at least she and Shannon had got their initial distrust out of the way, and had eventually become firm friends, Nicola thought fondly. Once she discovered the truth, Nicola had felt terribly sorry for Shannon, not to mention guilty about her early treatment of her. To make it worse, John kept leading the poor girl on by using her for sex whenever he felt like it. Many was the night Nicola had sat up until all hours with the other woman pouring her heart out over John and how she would ‘never love anyone else’.
As difficult as it had been, Nicola hadn’t said anything to Carolyn about her husband’s faithlessness, having been warned by Dan not to.
“There’s no point in either of us getting involved,” he had said. “I tried to speak to John about it before, and he told me exactly where to go.”
“But surely Carolyn deserves to know what a rat he is!” Nicola had countered vehemently, after John had wooed and then promptly dumped Shannon for the umpteenth time, Carolyn having been away at her mother’s in Mayo.
“Well, with the way John is going, she’ll find out herself soon enough,” Dan said. “In the meantime, we should just stay out of it.”
“Dan, she’s a friend. If the situations were reversed I’d expect her to tell me.”
“Well, from what I can make out,” Dan had said cryptically, “Carolyn is no angel herself.”
At the time, Nicola resolved to keep her mouth shut, at least for the time being. Her loyalties were torn. On the one hand she hated not telling Carolyn that her husband was being unfaithful, and on the other she felt desperately sorry for Shannon. The girl had been totally powerless to break free of John O’Leary’s hold over her.
Until recently that is. Nicola and Shannon had always kept in touch, Shannon being one of the first to visit her after the break-up, and Nicola smiled at what Shannon had told her recently.
“I’ve been seeing someone,” she had said one day on the phone, “someone nice. He’s a little older than me, but we get on really well and I think this could be it.”
The girl really was a total romantic at heart. Nicola hoped things worked out for her and her older man. God knows she deserved that this relationship be ‘it’.
Shannon brushed a strand of auburn hair out of her face. “You obviously told Dan all about it anyway,” she said. “He was straight on the phone to me the following night, wondering if Chloe had got anything out of me.”
“He was?” Nicola was puzzled. “Surely he knows you wouldn’t have discussed anything with her?”
“Well, apparently she knew about you and Ken – back then, I mean . . . you know before . . .” Shannon looked embarrassed.
“What? You’re kidding! But how?” Nicola’s mind raced. Where had Chloe got that from? Shannon didn’t tell her, and obviously Dan didn’t either so who else . . . ?
Suddenly it hit her. “Carolyn!” she exclaimed breathlessly.
The other girl nodded. “That’s what I thought, and exactly what I told Dan.” She hesitated. “Look, I’m not exactly impartial here, and I know you two were friends but I’ve always thought Carolyn was a sneaky bitch.”
Nicola recalled again Carolyn’s unfriendliness towards her that day in Butler’s Chocolate Café. At the time, she had put it down to her friend’s surprise or even shock at bumping into her like that after so much time. And she knew that a lot of people just didn’t know what to say to her since she’d come back. Nicola was used to it, and normally didn’t let it bother her.
But now she knew it was something more. Carolyn had changed, and like so many others, had obviously decided to pretend that Nicola no longer existed. That hurt. Nicola had expected more from Carolyn. Alongside Laura and Helen, Carolyn was the only person she had confided in about the problems in her marriage. She had thought the woman loyal and trustworthy. Obviously, she had been wrong
Shannon looked thoughtful. “I’ve always thought that she resented you,” she said.
“Me?”
“Yes.” Shannon took another sip from her glass. “You and Dan were so happy together. You were so well suited.” She laughed when she saw Nicola’s expression. “Well, you were most of the time, anyway,” she added wryly. “I think Carolyn held your marriage up to the one she had with John, and knew that hers was lacking. She was no fool, Nicola – she knew that she and John were far from perfect.” Suddenly, Shannon stopped talking, and her eyes danced with amusement as something caught her attention.
Nicola followed her gaze, and her eyes widened. “Oh, Barney, don’t do that!” The dog was busily pulling clothes out of Nicola’s washing-machine. “You’ll mortify me – those haven’t even been washed yet!” The dog dutifully stepped back from the machine, and apologetically rolled over onto his back, looking for forgiveness. Nicola smiled. “Sorry, Shannon, go on with what you were saying. You think Carolyn knew about you?”
“Of course she knew about me! You saw for yourself how much she hated me, and how she always tried to turn everyone against me.”
Nicola nodded in agreement. Carolyn had done exactly that on the very first night Nicola had met Shannon. The two women already had a history of mutual dislike, so when Carolyn intimated to Nicola that Shannon was after Dan, she had been immediately on the offensive. As a result, Nicola and Shannon had got off completely on the wrong foot, each wrongly perceiving the other as some kind of threat.
“Look, I can’t say I blame her. John is her husband, after all.” Shannon looked ashamed. “I’m not proud of the fact that I carried on with a married man but –”
“You were besotted,” Nicola finished for her. She paused for a moment. “And I suspect you still are.”
Shannon looked up. “Is it that obvious?”
Nicola went to check on the pasta. So much for Shannon’s new romance. “Maybe now that he and Carolyn are finished . . .” she began.
“He’ll hook up with me? I doubt it,” Shannon said miserably. “From what I can gather he’s quite enjoying his freedom.”
“Maybe you should try letting him go, Shannon. It’s been years now.”
“I know,” Shannon looked frustrated, “and it’s the same old story. Just when I think that I’m getting over him and I can move on without him, he comes back, all smiles and flowers and . . . oh, sometimes I just don’t know what to do.”
Nicola couldn’t for the life of her imagine what Shannon had ever seen in John O’Leary, and she certainly couldn’t figure out why the lively redhead couldn’t find someone else. But she knew too that there was a side of Shannon that didn’t want to. She enjoyed the excitement and the danger arising from an affair with a feckless man. There were plenty of women who did.
“I still can’t believe Carolyn would blab about the thing with Ken, though,” Nicola said aloud. “What would she have to gain by doing that? She has no allegiance to Chloe, so why bother?”
“That one always enjoyed dishing the dirt –” Shannon stopped short and looked apologetically at Nicola. “Sorry, I’m probably not the best person to talk to about this.”
“Don’t worry,” Nicola said. “It’s all over and done with now. And Carolyn obviously wasn’t the great friend I thought her to be.”
* * *
Later that evening when Shannon had left in her taxi, the two having spent a pleasant evening discussing old times and making plans to meet again soon, Nicola thought some more about Dan and Chloe. She felt sorry for Chloe, trying to imagine how curious and worried the younger woman must be about her, not to mention insecure.
She could appreciate why he might not want to share the finer details, particularly the miscarriage and the thing with Ken, but why not the rest? She could also understand that maybe he didn’t want to delve too deeply into the mistakes that had been made in the past, particularly not with the woman he was about to marry, but Dan should certainly have told her the circumstances surrounding his and Nicola’s separation.
He obviously hadn’t told Chloe much about her, assuming or hoping that the two would never meet.
&
nbsp; And that was it, Nicola realised. He hadn’t told her because he was still feeling ashamed and guilty, probably still wondering if he should have done things differently and wondering what Chloe, his bride-to-be, would think of him.
Well, Nicola thought, as she finished tidying the kitchen and prepared to go to bed, there was no point in beating about the bush any longer. She didn’t appreciate anyone digging around in her affairs, and if Dan wouldn’t do it, then maybe she herself should put poor Chloe out of her misery.
Maybe then, Dan and his problems would toddle off for good, and stop disrupting her life. Luckily Ken, being so preoccupied at the Centre these days, hadn’t seemed to notice she had been a bit off form lately, or that she was a bit preoccupied herself. Good. Nicola didn’t want this Dan thing affecting Ken any more. He had put up with enough already.
“Ready for bed, Barney?” she asked, ruffling her dog’s silky ears.
Barney wagged his tail in agreement and, waiting until his mistress went through to the bedroom, he jumped up and hit the light switch. Then he pawed the door, closing it softly behind the two of them.
Chapter 28
“LAURA, CAN YOU mind my two tomorrow afternoon? I’m going into Holles St for a scan.”
On the other end of the phone, Laura bristled. Why did Cathy have to pick this weekend of all weekends to have her scan? Today was Thursday and the Crafts Exhibition would be running from Friday until the middle of the following week. Laura was going to be there every day from noon until six in the evening, and had been working overtime to get her collections ready for display. She and Neil weren’t taking their honeymoon until after Christmas, when the travel business would be that bit quieter, and to give Laura a chance to prepare for what would hopefully be an encouraging Christmas for Laura Connolly Design.
Tonight she had invited the others over for dinner, where hopefully they would meet Helen’s elusive boyfriend Paul.
“I’m very sorry, Cathy – and normally I wouldn’t mind, but at the moment I’m way too busy,” she said, explaining the situation to her sister. Cathy didn’t say anything for a long moment and Laura realised just then how like Maureen she could be when it came to getting her own way.
“Couldn’t you ask Mam?” she offered meekly.
Cathy sighed loudly. “I was hoping you’d do me the favour and Josh and Dylan are always going on about staying with Auntie Laura in Dublin, seeing as Auntie Laura doesn’t visit them very much at home.”
There it was, right on cue. The Guilt Trip.
“Cathy, normally there wouldn’t be problem and I’d love to have them but the Crafts Exhibition is being held this weekend and it’s really important for the business.”
Cathy laughed. “Laura, when are you going to get it into your thick skull that you’re wasting your time with this jewellery thing?”
“What?” Laura was taken aback at her sister’s bluntness. OK, so Cathy was cheesed off about her not baby-sitting but that hardly meant . . .
Cathy continued. “I know you like fiddling around with those things, but do you really expect people to buy them? I mean, I was never so mortified in my life, having to wear that yoke at your wedding. Honestly, Laura, everyone was laughing at us.”
“What?” Laura repeated. Everyone laughing at them? Why?
“I think that maybe you should come back down to earth and remember who you are and where you’re from, sis. In fairness, it’s not really all your fault. I know that Neil probably puts strange ideas in your head but –”
Laura was so upset she dropped the phone. Sitting at her workstation, tears flowing freely down her cheeks, she tried to deflect the raw pain, the blow that her sister’s words had inflicted. What was wrong with her family? Why couldn’t they support her? Could they not see how difficult this was for her, and how hard she was finding it, without making it ten times worse? What about support – or encouragement?
And how dare Cathy accuse her of trying to be something she was not? How dare she try and make her feel guilty for trying to do something with her life? She and Maureen were cut from the same cloth – and Laura had had enough of their doubting and their taunts. She was going to make this business work. She was going to display at this Crafts Exhibition and she was going to talk the talk and walk the walk just as well as the rest of them – even better. Why shouldn’t she? She was good at what she did. Why was she always apologising for it? By the time Laura was finished building her jewellery business, she’d have her family begging her to design stuff for them.
Even though Cathy was probably long gone, Laura banged down the receiver and immediately felt a rush of energy, a rush of exhilaration that she didn’t think she’d ever felt in her entire life. Bring on the Crafts Exhibition – bring them all on.
Laura was going to make this business a success even if it was just to shove it down her family’s begrudging little throats.
* * *
That night, Nicola and Ken arrived at Laura’s at a quarter to eight, Ken clutching a bottle of wine and a multi-pack of Pringles.
“Ken!” Laura eyed him when they joined her in the kitchen. “You brought crisps?”
“What? I just thought we might be hungry later, that’s all.” He winked at Neil who was trying his best to stifle a grin.
“Thanks a million! And here’s me slaving over a hot stove all day.”
“I know,” Nicola teased. “That’s exactly why we brought the crisps.”
“Seriously, Laura, don’t mind us – the food smells great,” Ken said, sniffing the air approvingly. “When do we eat?”
“Not until Helen and the Famous Paul get here, I’m afraid,” Laura answered. “But I told Helen dinner was at eight, so I’m sure they won’t be too much longer.”
“Is Kerry coming too?” Nicola asked.
“No, one of Helen’s neighbours is looking after her tonight.” To Laura’s relief, that same neighbour had also been obliging enough to collect Kerry from school the last few days, leaving her free to prepare for the exhibition. She couldn’t help wondering whether or not this poor woman knew what she was getting herself into by being roped into doing one of Helen’s ‘favours’.
“Oh, so we’re not the only misfortunates at her beck and call then,” Nicola said, her tone disapproving, as she removed her jacket. “Still, I can’t wait to get a look at this Paul. Things must be pretty serious there – when was the last time Helen introduced us to one of her playthings?”
“Playthings?” Ken repeated sardonically. “That’s what we’re reduced to these days, is it? God be with the days when ye women couldn’t do a thing without us. Now we’re practically redundant.”
“Not quite,” Laura said, face red as she struggled with a large pot of steaming vegetables. “Neil, is there any chance you could pour some wine for our guests, please? I have my hands full here,” she added pointedly. Still wound up from her conversation with Cathy earlier, and unused to cooking for more than two people, Laura couldn’t keep the frustration out of her tone.
“Oh, sorry, love, we’d better get out of your way,” Neil said, having earlier picked up on his wife’s unusually low spirits. “Guys, I’ll open a bottle and we’ll leave the missus alone to get on with the important stuff.” He gave Laura an encouraging wink and, bottle in hand, led the others through to the dining-room.
Oh, stop it, Laura, berated herself, just because you’re in bad form and can’t handle the cooking, don’t go taking it out on poor Neil. If she was perfectly honest with herself, she wasn’t really in the mood for having guests tonight but all the plans had been made and it wouldn’t have been fair on the others to cancel last minute.
“You OK?” Nicola asked.
Laura looked around and almost automatically felt guilty. She was sure Nicola had followed the others into the living-room.
“I’m fine,” she answered shakily, “just a little hot and bothered with all this cooking.”
Nicola looked at her. “Nervous about the exhibition, huh?”
“Oh, I’ll be fine,” she said. “After all, I’ve had plenty of time to get ready for this.”
Nicola smiled encouragingly. “It doesn’t happen overnight, you know,” she said. Laura’s stomach gave a nervous flip. Sometimes Nicola was too damn perceptive for her own good. She had obviously seen through Laura’s false bravado these last few months – she had known that all wasn’t well. Yet, Nicola had never pushed it, had never said a thing because she knew that Laura wouldn’t want to admit it out loud that the business might be a failure. She suddenly felt very grateful to her friend.
“I know that,” she said, “and I always told myself that I’d give it a shot, and if it didn’t take off, well . . . at least I tried.” She gave a watery smile. “But nobody told me it would be this hard to admit defeat.”
“Hey, what’s all this ‘admitting defeat’ business?” Nicola said cheerfully. “It hasn’t been all that long – you have to give it time.”
Laura looked at her. “I think you and I both know that maybe I didn’t think this through properly. Helen was right – I’m just not the right type of person for this kind of thing.”
“Laura,” Nicola put a hand on her arm, “please don’t tell me you’re thinking of throwing in the towel – not after everything you’ve done.”