How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household
Page 15
The full Birkat Hamazon includes additional themes, such as prayers for our general well-being, for the nation and the land, for Jerusalem restored, for the coming of the Messiah. The whole thing takes approximately three to five minutes to recite, depending on how much of it is sung aloud. It is the proper Jewish way to conclude a meal.
Most Orthodox Jews know the entire Grace by heart; nevertheless they recite it from a small Grace booklet, which is endearingly called the “bentscher” (from the Yiddish word bentschen, “to bless”). Bentschers are available in all sizes and forms, including a single laminated card that stays clean and can be stored neatly at the table. One of my inventions, developed partly in response to grumblings of “It’s her turn to go get the bentschers,” was to staple a wide piece of elastic, approximately six inches long, to the underside of the breakfast-room table at each person’s place. To a weekday guest, who hasn’t seen it before, our family looks like a bunch of poker players, as each person pulls out his/her laminated card from under the table just as we are ready to begin the bentschen (or benching, as we have Americanized the Yiddish).
If bread has not been eaten—and thus a meal has not formally been constituted—then specific blessings are recited, depending on the particular foods we have eaten. For example, after eating vegetables or certain fruits or any food over which the sheh’hakol blessing (see p. 145) was recited, we would say the following:
Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam borai ne’fashot rabot v’chesronan al kol mah sheh’barah le’ha’chayot bahem nefesh kol chai. Baruch chay ha’olamim.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, creator of all life and its needs; for all the things He has created to sustain every living being. Blessed are You Who are the life of the universe.
After drinking wine, or eating any of the five “fruits” of the land of Israel (grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives, and dates) or any food other than bread that has been prepared from barley, rye, oats, wheat, or spelt, we recite the following blessing, known as the Ahl Ha’michya:
After cake or Holy Land fruits
(grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives and dates)
On Sabbath:
On Rosh Chodesh:
On Rosh Hashanah:
On festivals:
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe...
(on wine)
... for the vine and the fruit of the vine,
(on fruit)
... for the trees and the fruit of the trees,
(on cake)
... for life-giving and sustaining food,
(on cake and wine)
... for life-giving and sustaining food and for the vine and the fruit of the vine,
and for the produce of the field and for the precious gold and spacious land that You desired to grant as a heritage to our forefathers, to eat from its fruit and be filled from its goodness.
Have mercy on us, Lord our God, on Israel Your people, Jerusalem Your city, Zion where Your glory rests, and on Your altar and Your Temple. And rebuild Jerusalem the holy city, speedily and in our day. Lead us up to her and let us rejoice in her building. And we shall eat of her fruit and be filled with her goodness. And we shall bless You for her in holiness and purity.
On Sabbath:
Strengthen us on this Sabbath day.
On Rosh Chodesh:
Remember us for good on this day of the new moon.
On Rosh Hashanah:
Remember us for good on this New Year.
On Pesach:
Let us rejoice on this Festival of Matzat.
On Shavuot:
Let us rejoice on this Festival of Weeks.
On Sukkot:
Let us rejoice on this Festival of Booths.
On Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah:
Let us rejoice on this Eighth Day Closing Festival.
For You, Lord, are good and You do good to all and we thank You for this land and...
(on wine)
... for the fruit of the vine.
Blessed are You, God, for the land and the fruit of the vine.
(on fruit)
… for the fruits.
Blessed are You, God, for the land and for the fruits.
(on cake)
… for the life-sustaining food.
Blessed are You, God, for the life-sustaining foods.
(on cake and wine)
... for the life-sustaining food and for the fruit of the vine.
Blessed are You, God, for the life-sustaining food and for the fruit of the vine.
Nature and Experience
There are many occasions other than eating that cause us to give thanks. We take note of the wonders of nature:
Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam...
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe...
On hearing thunder:
… sheh’kocho u’gvurato maley olam.
… Whose might and power fill the world.
On seeing lightning:
… Oseh maaseh breshit.
… Who does the work of Creation.
On seeing a rainbow:
… zochayr habrit v’ne’eman bivrito v’kayam b’ma’amaro.
… Who remembers the Covenant, is faithful to the Covenant and keeps His word.
On seeing the sea for the first time in a long while:
… sheh’asah et ha’yam hagadol.
… Who has created the great sea.
On seeing beautiful trees or animals:
… sheh’kacha lo be’olamo.
… Who has such as these in His world.
On meeting a great Torah scholar:
… sheh’chalak mai’chach’mato li’rayahv.
… Who has given of His wisdom to those who revere Him.
Or a person of great secular wisdom:
… sheh’ natan mai’chach’mato levasar v’dam.
… who has imparted His wisdom to flesh and blood.
On hearing good tidings:
… hatov vehametiv.
… Who is good and does good.
On hearing of someone’s death:
… dayan ha’emet.
… The true Judge.
… Asher yatsar et ha’adam b’chochma, ubarah bo nekavim ne-kavim chalulim chalulim. Galu’ee veyadua lifney kisay kvodecha sheh’im Yepa’teh’ach echad mehem oh yesatem echad mehem, iy efshar lehitkay’em vla’amod lefanecha. Baruch Ata Adonai rofay kol basar umafli la’asot.
… Who formed the human in wisdom and created in him a system of ducts and tubes. It is clear and known before Your glorious throne that if but one of these be opened or if one of these be closed, it would be impossible to exist in Your presence. Blessed are You, O Lord, Who heals all creatures and does wonders.
What a wonderful earthy religion. Nothing is taken for granted!
The Shehecheyanu blessing is recited on the occasion of a novel or happy event in one’s life. It is often recited in conjunction with another b’racha appropriate to the particular experience. For example: on wearing a brand-new article of clothing, one would recite the regular blessing over clothing:
Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam malbish arumim.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who clothes the naked.
Immediately after, one recites the Shehecheyanu.
Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam sheh’heh’cheh’yanu v’kiymanu v’higi’yanu lazman hazeh.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has granted us life and sustained us and brought us to this moment.
The Birkat Hagomel blessing is recited after having narrowly escaped danger, recovering from serious illness, or coming through safely after a long trip:
Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam ha’gomel le’chayavim tovot sheh’g’malani kol tov.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who grants favors to the undeserving, Who has granted me all kindness.
&nbs
p; The Birkat Hagomel is generally recited in the presence of a minyan. All respond with:
Sheh’g’malcha kol tov hu yigmalcha kol tov. Selah.
He who has granted you this goodness, may He continue to grant you all goodness. Selah.
Some people think that riding the New York subway warrants a Birkat Hagomel. In truth, however, there are many moments in our lives when we appreciate the narrow escapes, the close encounters. Sometimes it is only a small act of saving, but it could otherwise have been of large and serious consequences. Whenever someone recites the Birkat Hagomel in the synagogue, people always ask after his/her welfare.
On a lighter note: occasionally our children would ask what b’racha to make on this food or that. When they came home one day with a new brand of pseudo-potato chips and asked what b’racha it requires, I took one look at the ingredients, shuddered at all those chemicals, and pronounced my verdict—Birkat Hagomel! If they eat all that junk and live, it’s a miracle!
Dire warnings notwithstanding, b’rachot are a serious business. Not only are we required to make the blessing as specific as possible to the food or experience or event, but also we are enjoined not to recite a blessing in vain. If one should begin a blessing and then be unable to complete it, he/she would not leave the words “Blessed be God” hanging in the air, which would mean using God’s name in vain. The formula with which to complete it is,
Lamdeni chukecha.
which, when combined with the first three words of “Baruch ata Adonai,” constitutes a verse from PSALMS (119:12)—“Blessed are You, God, teach me Your statutes.” Thus you’ve recited a verse from the Bible rather than an incomplete blessing.
BIRCHOT HA’MITZVOT
The second type of b’rachot—in contrast to the birchot nehenin described above—are those which we recite before performing a mitzvah. The first part of the phrase is,
Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu...
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us …
likbo’ah mezuzah
... to affix a mezuzah (to a doorpost of a home).
la’asok bedivrai Torah
... to busy ourselves with the study of Torah (each day).
ahl hatevila
... on the immersion (in the mikvah, ritual bath).
al netilat yadayim
... on washing the hands (upon arising and before eating).
likro et ha’hallel
... to recite the Hallel (hymns of praise and thanksgiving).
leyshev ba’sukkah
... to dwell in the sukkah.
There are a host of such blessings, and they sanctify the act we are about to perform. To be sure, two thousand years of celebrating Jews would not allow these special occasions to go by with but a one-line b’racha. In many instances, brief prayers have been added on to embellish the ceremony. One should consult a siddur.
FIXED-TIME PRAYER
The structure of daily prayer—when one has time to consider it in sum—is like the unfolding of a beautiful flower, or the highlighting of a symphony. Each layer suits its proper moment or mood, as human beings move through the day.
Consider a moment the Birchot Hashachar, the morning blessings. Most likely, these were originally recited at different stages of the wake-up process, but were subsequently formalized into the Shacharit prayer. In the Birchot Hashachar (which are found at the beginning of the siddur), we thank God for the ability to wake up, to rub sleep from our eyes, to see, to eliminate waste, to wash ourselves, to stand up straight, to dress, to be strong, to be free, to be blessed with Torah.
Take this one, for example, the eleventh of the morning blessings:
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who guides the steps of man.
Some might take that to be a statement about righteousness, but truly it is about balance. When was the last time any of us thought about the miracle of equilibrium, the ability to get off the bed in the morning and walk a straight line? It takes a few seconds until our balance is restored each morning, but it does come, and happily we can take it for granted all the rest of the day. As Jews, we are required to remember this gift a moment, and to praise God for it each morning.
Another of the Birchot Hashachar, one which has stirred a great deal of comment, is the blessing over sexual gender. Males recite it this way: “Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, for not having created me a female.”
In contrast, the female blessing, added to the liturgy in the fourteenth century (at least a thousand years after the male blessing had become part of the daily liturgy), is not at all sexist in tone: “Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has created me according to His will.”
Some women and men object to the sexist tone of the male blessing. Nor is the sensitivity particular to this generation alone; there have been rabbis in our past who were conscious of the imbalance between male and female blessings. They explained the male blessing as intending no slur against women, but rather as recognition of the fact that men have been assigned more mitzvot to fulfill and are therefore more fortunate. Today, some few Orthodox males have quietly dropped the male blessing; others substitute for it the more general one of “creating me according to His Will.” Conservative Jews have changed the language of the blessing to “… Who has created me in His image.” Human sexuality and male/female distinctiveness being a good thing, I would hope that contemporary halachists would uphold the divine intention of gender distinction, and reformulate the blessings in a positive manner: “… for having created me a male/… for having created me a female.”
A male Jew wears the tallit and tefillin for morning prayer. The tallit, the prayer shawl with its four tzitzit, is customarily worn only by married men. A man removes his tallit from its tallit bag, holds the tallit with both hands, and recites the blessing. Then he wraps it around his shoulders—or over his head as some do. Men kiss the fringes of the tallit before reciting the blessing, a sign of their love for this mitzvah. The blessing recited upon donning the tallit is:
Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu L’hit-atef b’tzitzit.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to wrap ourselves in the tzitzit.
The tefillin, phylacteries, as they are called, are worn only for Shacharit. (See p. 275 for tefillin blessings.) Tefillin look like nothing more than two small black cubes with black straps attached to each cube; but as ancient holy ritual objects, they carry many layers of tradition. Their construction, their meaning, the method of putting them on, the differences between the tefillin shel rosh (head) and the tefillin shel yad (arm)—every detail is rich in significance and attendant law. Inside each cube—which is meticulously made of layers of parchment and then sealed and lacquered—are scrolls of parchment on which are inscribed four passages from the Torah: Exodus 13:1-10; 13:11-16; Deuteronomy 6:4-9; 11:13-21. Among other things, these include the Shema and the verses that instruct us concerning tefillin.
The tefillin are a sign of the covenant, the mutual bond between God and the Jewish people. As I watch a man put on tefillin, there are two things that are suggestive of this bond. One is the wrapping process, the straps he pulls around his forehead and the straps he wraps down his arm, as if he is wrapping up his mind and his body to the service of God. Second are the words from Hosea he recites as he binds the leather around his left arm, the incredible statement of God’s love for His people: “And I shall betroth you to Me forever, And I shall betroth you to Me in righteousness, justice, loving kindness, and compassion, And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the Lord” (Hos. 2:21-22).
One rabbinic tradition suggests that God, too, wears tefillin. His tefillin contain parchments proclaiming the uniqueness of His people.
From the e
xperience of our three sons, I have come to understand tefillin as a powerful pedagogic device. From Bar Mitzvah on, a boy is required to wear tefillin. Tefillin add that tangible something that is needed to help bring a young boy into the imposing adult liturgical responsibilities that are now thrust upon him. Before they began to put on tefillin, our sons would occasionally miss a Shacharit here or there. Since then, they’ve not missed a day.
There are two foci to the Shacharit service: the Shema and the Shmoneh Esreh, the latter the silent benedictions. Around these two cores, much has been added. The service is structured as follows:
Birchot Hashachar, the morning blessings.
Pesukai Dezimra, passages taken mostly from Psalms, that serve as a kind of warm-up to the prayer.
Borchu, a call to communal worship, recited only in a minyan.
Blessings preceding the Shema thanking God for creating light and for giving us the Torah.
Shema Yisrael, the central affirmation of faith.
Blessing following the Shema, blessing God for redeeming the people of Israel.
Shmoneh Esreh, the eighteen benedictions (actually nineteen). These concern God’s relationship to us; individual and communal requests such as for wisdom, health, survival, acceptance of all our prayers; expressions of gratitude; and a plea for peace.
Closing devotional prayers, including the Aleinu.
For Shabbat and holidays, additional prayers are added. On Mondays and Thursdays, part of the next week’s Sabbath Torah portion is read. Whenever a portion of the Torah is read publicly, it is accompanied by aliyot and special blessings over the Torah.