How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household

by Blu Greenberg

  We then put the bag in a safe spot until the next morning, when we will burn the chametz.

  The whole ceremony strikes my fancy. It is a fascinating insight into the conglomerate nature of Jewish ritual. It’s hardly likely we will find anything at all, but we just might, so the law is, unequivocally—search! Even if you are going away for Pesach, even if you lock your door and sell the whole house, still you must do bedikah before you depart—up to thirty days before Pesach. A flashlight would be more sensible to use—brighter, safer, and halachically permissible—but candle it was, so candle it is! A wooden spoon seems odd, but really it makes perfect sense if you plan ahead for tomorrow’s burning.

  We carefully hide bits of chametz, such a clever and playful act, for the children who would otherwise be frustrated and lose interest if nothing ever turned up. And that formula! As if waving a verbal wand can wave away all responsibility for chametz. But what else can we do? We are bidden to eliminate all chametz. Yet we are realistic enough to know that it’s not all totally within our control. So we trot out our handy ancient formula.

  And it all works! I’m not sure why, but it does. The fact is that it matters greatly to me that there be no chametz about the house. Perhaps it’s the sheer force of Biblical and rabbinic law; perhaps it’s the way Jews for three millennia have said good riddance to chametz; whatever, it certainly has altered my psyche regarding leavened products these eight days. When I come upon two little boys playing “pretzel keys” before Pesach, my anxiety level mounts. But just as instinctively, the Kol Chamira comes into mind—and calms me.

  That’s Judaism!—a little pedagogy, a little pageantry, a little fantasy, a little realism; a game of hide-and-seek, a mnemonic device, some superstitious behavior, a little pedantry and regimentation, a magical formula, a measure of faithfulness—in short, something to appeal to everyone.

  BIUR CHAMETZ

  On the morning before the seder, we stop eating all chametz. The exact moment of end time is calculated by the experts, according to the length of day. “Day” in this case means daylight, from dawn to dusk. At this time of the year, one third of the daylight is over by approximately 9:30 A.M., so there’s enough time to eat a last breakfast of chametz. After “eating down” our chametz supplies for two weeks, we end up with very little to give away or burn. As most parents of teenagers will know, this frugality is not without its emotional costs, for we subject ourselves to that constant refrain of, “There’s nothing in the house to eat” from that peculiar breed aptly referred to as the “bottomless pit.” J.J., to whom some General Mills executive directly owes his swimming pool, cannot “live” without dry cereal. I am sure that we must be the only Orthodox family in the world found wandering down the cereal aisles two days before Pesach. We buy for J.J. the junkiest junk cereals we can find, the kind he isn’t permitted all year long. He has five bowls of cereal for dinner the night before Pesach and five more bowls for breakfast before the end time for chametz. In this manner, we manage to avoid withdrawal symptoms up until halfway through the week.

  Within one hour after that end time, we must do biur chametz, the final act of purging leaven from our lives. All chametz gathered in the search last night, plus whatever is left after breakfast, is thrown into the fire. Apartment dwellers do this in their incinerators; house folk light a small fire outdoors. Because the fire is small and self-contained, it is possible for those whose apartment buildings have no incinerators (new ones may have compacters instead) to burn their chametz on the terrace or in a nearby park; or one can take it to the synagogue for disposal. We use a coffee can or a large juice can. We insert the bag with chametz, spoon, and feather, douse it with kerosene, and set it aflame. As it burns, a head of household recites again the Kol Chamira—the nullification formula—this time in a slightly broader form: “All leaven and all chametz that is in my possession that I have seen or not seen, destroyed or not destroyed, let it be null and void and as dust of the earth.”

  MECHIRAT CHAMETZ

  So much for the chametz we shall burn or of which we shall disclaim ownership. What about all that stuff sealed away in our cupboards—goods that would constitute an economic hardship were we to lose them altogether? For that, the Rabbis of Talmudic times devised the legal sale of chametz.

  We cannot sell our remaining chametz to another Jew, even one who doesn’t observe Pesach because, in democratic fashion, halacha clearly states that what is forbidden to one Jew is forbidden to another. Thus, each of us must sell it to a non-Jew; however, we should like to do so in a manner that would not cause us irreversible loss. This would be a pretty difficult thing for each Jewish householder to achieve were it not for the laws of agency concerning the sale of chametz. The rabbi of the community becomes a wholesaler, so to speak. During the week before Pesach, the head of each household appoints the rabbi as his/her agent to negotiate the sale. A bill of sale contract that would be legal in any court is drawn between the rabbi and a non-Jewish buyer. The contract gives the purchaser full and unconditional title to all the goods and free access to them. The sale goes into effect at approximately 10:00 A.M. on erev Pesach.

  How can we resume ownership after the holiday? It works this way. At the drawing of the contract, the non-Jew, a person of goodwill and one whom we can trust not to exercise his rights of full access, will put down a nominal deposit of, say, ten dollars on a half-million-dollar contract. He has eight days to come up with the balance. At the end of eight days (right after Pesach is over) the rabbi contacts him. If he can’t produce the money, he forfeits the sale. Which is what always happens. In this manner, we are able to abide by the Sinaitic injunction of ridding ourselves of all chametz, yet we manage to avoid permanent loss of our goods. An easy solution all around, and one that maintains our links to tradition. (Now why couldn’t the Sages have found a solution for china and earthenware?!)

  FAST OF THE FIRSTBORN

  Most of the ancient primogeniture rules no longer apply, but here and there are rituals to remind us that distinctions once were made. In Egypt, the plague of the firstborn son, the most favored child, was the bitterest of all. It was the final act that made Pharaoh succumb to Moses’ request. The Jews were spared this terrible ordeal, and in gratitude for that miracle, tradition requires that the firstborn son fast on erev Pesach.

  But fasting is a hardship, especially when one needs energy to get through the seder that night. Consequently, the rabbinic practice of a seudat mitzvah, a meal that takes on religious significance in celebration of a Brit, wedding, Bar Mitzvah, or siyyum (the completion of a Talmudic tractate) is widely observed.

  Now one cannot always count on a Brit for that day, and no one in his/her right minds would schedule a wedding or a Bar Mitzvah celebration on erev Pesach. So the custom arose for the congregation to target for that day the completion of a tractate of the Talmud and thereby celebrate a siyyum. This takes place in the synagogue immediately after Shacharit services. The worshipers study the last few lines with a scholar who has completed the tractate. A beautiful prayer known as the hadran is read; it is a paean of praise to God for the privilege of studying Torah. Following the siyyum, all present partake of a light seudat mitzvah. Once the fast is broken by a seudat mitzvah, there is no requirement to fast for the rest of the day. As one would imagine, the shul is full of firstborn sons of all ages on that morning.

  THE SEDER TABLE

  Over and above the normal preparation for a festive holiday meal, there is much to be done in advance for the seder. The following items should be set on the table:

  Wine. Enough to fill four or five cups per person. How much wine fulfills the mitzvah of the four cups? The two most commonly held opinions are 3.3 ounces and 5.2 ounces. Some people, mostly children and others who cannot drink all that wine with impunity, substitute grape juice after the first or second cup. Certain authorities frown on the use of grape juice, but no one disputes the fact that it is halachically permissible to recite the same Kiddush over it. A wine cup is se
t at each place with a saucer underneath to keep things tidy. Also placed on the table is a large goblet, which will be filled later with wine for the ceremonial cup of Elijah.

  Matzah. Shmurah or regular. Three are placed at the head of the table to be used ceremonially, but there should also be enough on the table for each participant to have at least half a matzah. All the matzot (plural) should be covered. There are special matzah covers available that have pockets for the three matzot, but any cloth napkin will do.

  What is shmurah matzah (or matzah shmurah to be more grammatically correct)? Shmurah simply means “watched” or “guarded.” The Torah says, “U shmartem,” “and you shall observe [the festival of] matzot.” Literally, that verse also means, “And you shall watch the matzot” so that they don’t become leavened. Some of the Rabbis interpreted the verse to mean that the wheat must be watched from the time it is cut; most rabbinic authorities, however, interpret the watch as beginning from the time that it is ground into flour as is the case for all kosher for Passover matzot (see page 402). Of late, a compromise custom has grown among traditional Jews. Since the obligation to eat matzah is only for the first night (that is, chametz is forbidden all the days of Pesach, but matzah is required only for the first night), many people use shmurah matzah for the first seder, or for both sedarim (plural), and then use regular matzoh all the rest of the week.

  There are two different types of shmurah matzah: hand-baked and machine-baked. Hand-baked shmurah matzah is round, hard, and brittle and, in this family’s opinion, infinitely more delicious. It also costs more: seven dollars per pound for hand shmurah, four dollars for machine shmurah, and one dollar for regular matzah. One must remember to order shmurah matzah in advance, through the synagogue sexton, local yeshiva or Jewish grocery store. If one has the time, it is a most interesting and worthwhile experience to take the whole family to a factory where they bake shmurah matzah.

  In setting out the matzot before the holiday, one must remember not to eat any. So as to heighten our taste for matzah and for the mitzvah of eating it, we are not permitted to eat matzah on erev Pesach. Most Orthodox Jews observe the custom of not eating matzah from the first day of Nissan; if you’re a matzah lover, this hiatus certainly does increase your appetite for it at the seder.

  Hard-boiled eggs. One per person, for dipping in salt water at the beginning of the meal.

  Bowls of salt water. For the dipping of karpas (a vegetable) and eggs.

  Pillows. These are placed at everyone’s chair for reclining.

  Haggadot. One per person so that each can follow the seder service.

  All the items for a seder plate:

  One egg. This should be slightly roasted on the open flame (remember to boil it first).

  One zeroah. A shank bone, also roasted (a kosher butcher will supply the bone).

  Maror. Bitter herbs: the root of a horseradish, peeled and then grated or cut into chunks. Some use romaine lettuce; we put both on our seder plate.

  Karpas. A vegetable, either boiled potato or fresh celery or parsley.

  Charoset A mixture of fine-chopped apples and walnuts and wine, made to resemble mortar.

  The seder plate items are arranged as follows:

  This arrangement is of both practical and theological significance. They are arranged in order of use. The vegetable is used first, maror and charoset next; the roasted egg and zeroah are not eaten at all at the seder. The religious principle is that one does not bypass (reach over) one mitzvah in order to perform another.

  If there are many diners at the table, and it is not possible to get enough of everything onto the seder plate, additional bowls of charoset, maror, and vegetables should be prepared.

  The seder plate, like the three matzot, is set near the leader. If there are several heads of household present at a seder, it is a nice gesture to set out a seder plate for each one. In most Orthodox homes, the male head of household or the most learned guest orchestrates the seder, but the fact is that anyone who is capable can lead.

  Any plate can be used as a seder plate, but it is fitting to use a special ceremonial plate. There are many of these on the market; or, a moderately talented person can transform an ordinary piece of chinaware into a seder plate quite simply, using lead-free hobby shop enamel and painting in the proper symbols in their correct positions.

  Everything has its meaning.

  As always, wine is used to sanctify the occasion. Wine is a symbol of joy. Four cups—four different expressions of joy—are related to the four different verbs used in the Bible to describe God’s saving acts; each different nuance, like each additional cup of wine, has a cumulative effect, heightening the glow, increasing the joy:

  Ve’hotzaiti—and I will bring you out.

  Ve’hitzalti—and I will save you.

  Ve’ga’alti—and I will redeem you.

  Ve’lakachti—and I will take you to me as my nation.

  There is also a fifth verse:

  Ve’haivatee—and I will bring you into the land I promised Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

  Because of the long, long exile from that land, Jews did not drink the fifth cup. Instead, they set it aside as a cup for Elijah the prophet, who will herald the Messiah, who will bring us back to the land. Now that we have been restored to the land of Israel, some Jews follow the custom of drinking a fifth cup, which is inserted into the second half of the seder, between the original third and fourth cups. The former fourth cup now becomes the fifth. But even those who drink five cups still fill one more for Elijah.

  The eggs dipped in salt water are a custom primarily in Ashkenazic homes. There are several explanations: eggs are a sign of spring; eggs are a symbol of rebirth and the renewal of life; eggs dipped in salt water (tears) are a sign of mourning for the Churban—or for the Egyptians who drowned in the Red Sea; and finally, starting off with an egg is simply the way meals were begun in ancient times.

  The matzah—as we said earlier—is the bread of affliction and the bread of freedom and hope. In contrast to the usual two whole loaves of challah on Shabbat and holidays, three whole “loaves” of matzah are used at the seder. At the beginning of the seder we break the middle matzah in two and hide the larger half for afikoman. Thus, by starting off with three, when we get to the motzi matzah ritual awhile later, we will still have the requisite two whole “loaves” (plus a half).

  The roasted egg is a symbol of the Korban Chagigah, the festival sacrifice we no longer bring.

  The zeroah is a reminder of the Paschal sacrifice, thus also Zecher Le’churban, in memory of the Churban. Why was the shank bone picked over every other part? Because its Hebrew word is zeroah (arm), which is the same word used to describe God’s outstretched arm as He delivered us from bondage.

  Maror, so we should taste the bitterness the Israelite slaves had to endure.

  Charoset, the mortar the slaves had to prepare in building cities and pyramids for the Pharaohs. I once read a tale by a woman who found herself somewhere in Africa at seder time. Determined to have a seder, she acquired matzah, bitter greens, an egg, and a substitute for wine. But apples and nuts were nowhere to be found. Ingeniously, she located a brick and placed it at her seder table. I daresay her charoset was more authentic than the delicious mixture we eat.

  Karpas, the vegetable, is a sign of spring, vegetation, new growth, and new hope. In typical Jewish dialectic, we dip it in salt water, which represents tears of life.

  The pillow for reclining symbolizes the way free people eat. It’s the best we can do, given the fact that there are no Roman couches around these days. In some homes, only the leader of the seder services reclines; in others, only the adult males; in our house, as in many Orthodox homes, everyone gets a pillow.

  The Talmud discussed whether women should recline: “After all, reclining,” says one rabbi, “is only for important people.” Fortunately, he is answered, “All of our women are important people. …”

  Haggadah means “telling”: it is the book that
contains the order of the seder service. There are hundreds of unusual hag-gadot available, and one can spend many delightful hours in selecting. Each person should use a haggadah tailored to his/her own level and interest. There are now on the market several beautiful haggadot designed especially for children.

  Although using a uniform one at the table for every family member and guest has certain advantages—such as finding the place—this is outweighed by each person’s sharing with the whole group the unique commentaries from his/her haggadah. One of my favorites happens to be a richly illustrated archaeology haggadah, with commentary on the traditional text based on contemporary archaeological discoveries. When we reach certain historical descriptions, I proudly display my pictures and instant archaeological knowledge. The next night I switch and use a hagaddah with no illustrations whatsoever, but with a clear explanation of text and a rich collection of rabbinic interpretations, in good-size print so I don’t have to wear reading glasses. Last year, I tried a feminist haggadah, but that particular one wasn’t quite satisfying. I still can’t seem to compare woman’s lot to slavery and oppression. Moshe uses the updated halachic compendium commentary, while Yitz reads from two or three haggadot at one time.

  CANDLELIGHTING

  The candlelighting for Pesach is the regular festival candlelighting (see p. 323); on the first two nights the blessing is followed by the Shehecheyanu.

  THE SEDER

  Immediately after Maariv, the seder should begin. In some families, the male head of household puts on a white kittel, to give the seder an added sense of sacredness. The order of the seder, which is given at the beginning of the haggadah, is:

  KADESH

  blessing over the wine

  U’RECHATZ

  washing the hands

  KARPAS

  eating the karpas

  YACHATZ

  dividing the matzoh