Untamed (Vampire Awakenings, Book 3)

by Brenda K. Davies

He didn't disagree with her as he stepped away and returned to his seat. The waiter stared at them both before hurriedly taking their order and disappearing again. "Can I see the pictures on your phone of your woodworking?" she asked.

  "Oh yeah," Ethan had forgotten he even had it on him as he pulled it from his pocket.

  He'd shut the data package down so that no one could call in or out but he could still access his pictures. He brought up the photos and flipped past the ones from today and of his siblings, before coming to the ones he'd taken of his work. Turning the phone, he handed it out to her and she took it from him. He found himself riveted and barely able to breathe as he waited to see her reaction to them. The smile slid from her face as she flipped through the pictures and when she looked up at him there was a look of astonishment on her features that captivated him.

  "They're beautiful," she said honestly. In fact, they were some of the most breathtaking pieces of furniture she'd ever seen in her life. The intricate flowers and vines that had been carved into the gazebo must have taking hours of endless patience. The rocking horse and blocks on the front of the trunk meant for Isabelle were done with such tender care that she could feel the love he already had for his future niece or nephew. "You have an amazing gift."

  There'd been so many times over the years that he'd felt as if he'd been cursed, to hear her say that he had a gift seemed so strange, yet she truly believed her words. But then she didn't know that he was a monster. "Thank you."

  She smiled at him as she handed the phone back. "Do you plan to try and sell some of them one day?"

  "Maybe one day," he said as he slipped his phone into his pocket, though he had no intention of doing so. They were for him and his family only; he didn't want to deal with the interaction he'd have to have with others in order to sell his pieces. "I'm glad you like them."

  "I love them." For the first time in his life, he actually felt a little shy. Thankfully he was saved from having to say anything more as she rose to her feet. "I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

  Ethan fought the urge to go with her as she wound her way through the crowd to the restrooms he'd seen next to the bar. He didn't like the idea of her going alone into the bar, but he could see the bathroom from here and he couldn't be that overprotective of her. She would fight against any restrictions he might try to place on her. She'd already had a bad experience with an overbearing, frightening man, she wouldn't put up with it from him, he was certain of that.

  With her gone, he became steadily aware of the solid thumps of the hearts surrounding him and the spicy metallic scent of the blood pulsing through the veins so close to him. He hadn't realized just how much she drowned out the human odors and sounds when she was near. Even when he was under control, there was never a time when he was unaware of the walking temptations surrounding him. When she was with him, it was as if the rest of the world ceased to exist. He knew that the walking, talking, bodies of warm blood were still around him, but he didn't care about their existence.

  But now he could feel the darkness creeping steadily through his system, teasing him with its promised words of release and satisfaction. If he would give in just once, it would all go away, but even as he thought it he knew that he was wrong. It would never go away; it would only claw at his insides until he was out hunting and killing every night in order to satisfy his insatiable thirst.

  It would go on until he became one of the monsters confined to the shadows as every death made the sun even more unbearable for him, and made crossing water increasingly difficult. Until he reeked of the garbage scent he and his siblings had detected on the vampires that had tried to kill them. He'd never be able to hide his dirty secret from his family then; they would know what he was, what he had become, and they would never accept him. They would love him for eternity but they would never condone his actions. He would be on his own, a monster adrift in the world until someone, or something finally put him out of his misery.

  Ethan's hands fisted, he inhaled a deep breath and focused on the ocean as he tried to regain control of himself. Emma shut out the world when she was with him, but it was now louder than it had ever been before he'd known her. It would be so easy to stand up, talk to the first person he saw, slip away somewhere quiet and just give into the bloodlust within him. He may even be able to do it before Emma returned.

  Sweat beaded across his brow as his fingernails dug into the flesh of his palms. He could feel the blood welling up from the gouges he had created but even as he pulled the flesh back it was knitting itself closed again. Right there was a man that was so close; Ethan could have him out of here in seconds. His fangs began to tingle; his mouth was watering as a ringing began to sound in his ears. All he could think about was finally giving into the impulses that he had been denying for so long.

  He was getting ready to put his feet down and go to the man when a small hand settled on his forearm. In an instant the world went still again, the pounding beat of his heart eased, and his fangs retracted into his gums. He found himself able to breathe again as calm settled over him and he turned to face Emma.

  She smiled at him as she sat on the chair across from him again. She went to remove her hand but he seized hold of it. After what had just happened, he couldn't lose the contact with her again. A small trail of his blood smeared the back of her knuckles; he wiped it hastily away with his thumb before she could see it. The fact that he had left that trail, that he had sullied her in even this small way with what was inside of him made him feel dirty and unworthy, but he still couldn't bring himself to release her. He was terrified of what he would become if he did.

  CHAPTER 11

  Emma waited outside the store for Ethan to purchase the chess set for his father. From somewhere down the street the sounds of calypso music being played could be heard. She couldn't help but hum and tap her foot as she examined some pretty, hand painted bottles set up in the window of the store. She lifted her head and spotted Ethan at the cash register, she waved to him when he looked up and caught her staring.

  He smiled at her before turning his attention back to the cashier. His gaze kept going surreptitiously to Emma as he waited impatiently for the woman to ring up his items. Knowing that Emma was right there helped him to keep his cool, but the world was closing in on him again. He wiped away the sweat that beaded across his forehead and wrapped his hands around the counter.

  "Is there anything else you would like?" the woman inquired and touched his arm flirtatiously.

  Ethan jerked away from her repulsive touch and glanced up at Emma again as she wandered a little ways away from the store. Stay in sight, he pleaded silently. "No," he grated at the saleswoman, hoping that the tone of his voice would dissuade anymore of her interest and spur her into action. The woman eyed him uncertainly; Ethan took a deep breath as she finally turned to complete his purchase.

  As the song ended, Emma turned back toward where the motorcycle was parked. She didn't want this day to end but she was looking forward to getting back on it with him again. He appeared in the doorway of the store and held his right hand out to her as he shifted the bag into his left hand. She took hold of it and followed him the few steps down the street to the motorcycle.

  He put the chess set into the saddlebag and helped her with the helmet again before settling onto the seat. Feeling a little more confident this time, she climbed on behind him and slid her arms around his waist. Heat encompassed her as she pressed her breasts against his back. She flattened her hands on his stomach and felt the ridges of his muscles beneath her hands as he started the bike and pulled away from the curb.

  She rested her cheek on his back as she watched the water and scenery go by on the narrow, winding roads. She savored the power beneath her legs and the strength of the man in front of her. Leaning back in the seat, she could no longer resist the urge to throw her arms out to the side as they drove through a less crowded stretch of road.

  She laughed as the wind blew over her face, tickled her
skin and plastered her clothes to her. It felt as if she were flying, as if she were free of herself and could do anything that she wanted in this world. Her head tilted back as a gleeful shout escaped her. The last of the lingering tension and fear she'd been feeling over Tristan vanished like dandelion fluff in a storm. She was moving on, she was living life in a way that she never had before and it was the greatest thing she'd ever experienced.

  She was still laughing as she lowered her arms and wrapped them around him again. "Feel better?" he asked as he briefly turned his head to look at her.

  "I feel wonderful!" she cried. She hugged him even tighter as they entered an area of the island that she recognized as being close to where she was staying.

  He turned down a couple of side streets before stopping in front of her house. Emma held onto him for a second before reluctantly releasing him. Sliding off of the bike, she reached up to pull the helmet off but he was already taking hold of the strap. "I had fun today," she told him.

  He smiled down at her as he removed the helmet and placed it on the seat. "Good that means you'll go to dinner with me tonight."

  "I don't know, you might get sick of me," she teased as she bumped his hip.

  "Never." It was the way he said the word with such conviction, more than the actual word itself that caught her attention and caused her to flush with pleasure. "But I would like to change my clothes first."

  "So would I."

  He wrapped his arms around her waist as he bent to give her a kiss and lifted her up as he straightened back up to his full height. She loved the way he made her feel so small and yet so protected at the same time. He bent her back and kissed her deeply before setting her on her feet again.

  Still more than a little dazed from his kiss when he released her, she took an unsteady step back. "I'll see you in a couple of hours?" he asked.

  "Ok."

  Turning on her heel, she shot a smile over her shoulder at him when he lightly slapped her behind. She was practically skipping up the steps to the house when she heard the bike fire up again and pull away from the curb. Opening the door to the house she stepped inside to find Mandy reading in the living room and Jill on the computer. They both focused on her as she shut the door.

  "Did you have fun?" Jill inquired.

  "A blast," she admitted as she hurried down the stairs.

  Jill grinned at her as she closed her laptop. "Well you definitely did something right last night."

  Emma froze as she frowned questioningly at her friend. "What are you talking about?"

  Jill pointed into the kitchen. Emma leaned around the doorway to see what it was her friend was talking about. Her mouth dropped open when she spotted the massive bouquet of colorful flowers sitting on the table.

  "Those are for me?" she blurted as she approached the flowers. She recognized a half a dozen birds of paradise in the bouquet but that was where most of her identification skills came to an end. There had to be at least three dozen flowers in the blue vase.

  "Our names weren't the ones on the card," Mandy said as she approached.

  Emma pulled the card from the plastic holder at the edge of the vase. All it had was her name typed on it. "I can't believe he did this," she muttered.

  "You deserve flowers and that boy knows it," Mandy said.

  "Or maybe he couldn't believe that you did something," Jill teased.

  Emma rolled her eyes at her friend and shook her head. She was smiling though as she leaned forward to inhale the heady scent of the flowers. Yes, she could definitely lose her heart to him, she decided.

  ***

  "Ethan." He had known that Stefan was in the doorway before he even spoke. "Can we talk?"

  Ethan glanced over at him as he tugged a clean shirt over his head. His hair was still damp from his shower but it would dry soon enough. "Come in." Stefan glanced behind him before stepping into the room and closing the door. "Where's Isabelle?"

  "Outside, on the phone with your mom."

  "She'll be busy for awhile."

  "She will." Stefan agreed as he walked over and sat in the chair in the corner. "So are you ready to tell me what's going on?"

  "I thought we'd already had this discussion."

  "I'm not talking about Emma being your possible mate. I'm talking about you. Isabelle always thought you were like her, and were just trying to avoid being mated, but that's not the case, is it?"

  Ethan studied Stefan as he leaned against the bureau. If anyone would have any understanding about what he was going through, what was inside of him, it was Stefan. "No, it's not," he admitted. Stefan's steady gaze was focused upon him as he steepled his fingers before his face and waited for Ethan to continue. "It's the blood."

  Stefan dropped his hands down. "The blood?"

  "The humans. Even when I was in high school I knew I was different from my siblings, my parents, and even The Stooges. They were able to be around humans with far more ease than I was, and even enjoyed them more than I did. There was always this hunger for them inside of me, this yearning to taste them, even before I reached maturity."

  "And when you reached maturity?" Stefan prompted.

  "And then, unlike the rest of my family, it became almost unbearable for me to be around humans without wanting to kill every single one of them."

  The subtle rise in Stefan's eyebrows was the only reaction he had to his blunt statement. "Have you talked to your brothers about this? They may not have hit maturity yet but they might be experiencing the same thing as you without you knowing it."

  "No, they're not like me Stefan; you know that as well as I do. You've been out with Aiden and Ian, they're more than happy to be in the clubs with humans or at college living among them. They can feed directly from a human; I've never trusted myself to do it. Maybe some of my younger siblings might feel this way, but I've been watching them and I don't think they do."

  "You've never fed directly from a human before?" Stefan inquired.

  Ethan took a deep breath as he braced himself to reveal something he'd never revealed to anyone before. "Until recently I'd never done anything with a human before. Blood bags and vampire women were my only experience. Since high school I've had only minimal contact with the human race. I've gone to great lengths to keep that fact hidden from everyone."

  "You've done well at it; I never suspected anything like that." Stefan stared at him before he rose to his feet and walked over to the balcony doors. "I've always believed that some of us are just more twisted when we're changed," he said thoughtfully. "I most certainly was and so was Brian. Your father and The Stooges weren't though. It would only make sense that certain purebred vampires would also have that malevolence within them when they're born. I don't think it makes us evil but I do believe it makes us more susceptible to becoming murderers that thrive on human life. You've had to deal with this your whole life though and you haven't given into it, just because it's in there doesn't mean that it rules you."

  "The thirst, sometimes..." Ethan broke off as he shook his head. "Sometimes I don't know how I haven't killed every human in a room before." There had been times when the image of it had been so vivid in his mind that even after he'd shaken it off, and looked around to find everyone still alive, it had still taken him a few minutes to convince himself that he wasn't covered in blood and that they all had their throats intact.

  "I know how you feel." Ethan lifted his head to look at Stefan. Yes, for once there was someone that understood how he felt. Stefan had focused his anger and need to kill on other vampires in order to gain strength, but he'd already changed his ways by the time he'd met Isabelle. "And it's not the same with Emma?"

  "Not at all. She even makes it easier for me to be around other humans. It's as if they just fade into the background when she's there."

  Stefan stepped away from the doors. "You realize that fact only adds to what Isabelle is concerned about, don't you?"

  "I do."

  "It seems so strange that you're not trying to bolt like
your sister did," Stefan said with a snort.

  "Emma might."

  Sadness flickered over Stefan's face before he rapidly covered it up. "Yes, humans can be difficult. When do you plan to tell her about this?"

  Ethan didn't know the answer to that question, he was terrified of what might happen when he did tell Emma, but he was beginning to realize that it was going to be inevitable. If she really was his mate then things were only going to get worse before they got better. For the first time he felt true panic as he realized that there was a good possibility he could lose her. She wasn't a vampire; she wouldn't feel the impossible to break mate connection as a human. She wasn't bound by the laws of their kind, and he didn't know if he ever wanted her to be.

  He should back off now, walk away before the bond intensified and he was unable to part from her with his sanity still intact. He was already in over his head, and he was going to take her down with him if things between them continued to grow. "Fuck!" he hissed as he turned away from Stefan.

  "Ethan..."

  Ethan lifted his hand to stop Stefan's words as he paced over to the door and back again. "I'm looking to condemn her to a life of blood and death, to this hunger."

  "She'll be able to control the hunger better with you around, just as you do when she's around," Stefan said. "Just as Isabelle and your mother do and your father and I. It's most likely that she won't even experience what it is that you battle every day, because of you."

  "What if I pass it on to her?"

  "It doesn't work that way Ethan."

  "Then how does it work?" he demanded.

  "I don't know. But if it worked that way your father and The Stooges would have inherited Beth's more homicidal tendencies, but they didn't."

  "There's still a chance that she could though."

  "I don't think so, there's no darkness in her, not that I can tell anyway. I really believe it has to be inherent to all of us to begin with."

  Ethan thought over those words before he turned toward him. "This darkness, this thirst, why us?"